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I’ll keep this short and sweet … you’re nowhere NEAR ready to try swinging! The LifeStyle is for couples whose relationship is rock solid … yours isn’t even close. Keep working on you as a couple before you even consider adding other people to the mix. To do otherwise will be the end of your marriage.

I'm a straight female. My husband and I have been married for 12 yrs. He recently cheated on me with a coworker as we were missing the emotional and intellectual side of our married. He found those in his coworker. He did confess to me about the affair as the guilt and shame were killing him. We have talked about the possibility of swinging or throuple. We are working on rebuilding trust, as I have hurt him in the past. I was willing to chose my job over family and I was dealing with my own mental health issues and faked hanging myself to get attention from him. I know all of that sounds horrible and I should have never done that. I deeply regret doing it. I was in a dark place at the time. We are in counseling and we are communicating better. My fear is that I will not like the lifestyle and he will leave or I will not be willing to try the lifestyle and he will leave. Part of me is curious about the lifestyle but I don't know how to get comfortable with him having sex with another woman and I don't know how to get comfortable having sex with another woman if we were to do the throuple thing. I do find other women physically attractive but not sexually attractive. I have so many questions, concerns, and fears. I'm looking for insight. Sorry for the scatter brained post. Any and all information would be greatly appreciated.

The issue isn't really one of swinging, it could be any undertaking that requires commitment and sacrifice from both of you. You could be posting on sailorsboard.com asking if buying a sailboat would be good for your relationship; it may or it may not. But both of you need to know what the other is thinking: how much to spend, how big a boat, a day-sailer or something to spend overnights? Maybe you should rent first. Same with opening up your sex lives. And if there are too many rules (more than one each) you're not ready. Neither of you can get upset or mad because your husband kissed her or you let some guy go into your bum. Finally, not all marriages are worth continuing. I don't understand all the couples who are proud that they put up with decades of misery in a loveless, sexless marriage, like their running a marathon. Think it all through.

Lifestyle only works in solid marriages that are based on trust and honesty. I wish you success.

Swingers MUST have an abundance of love, trust, and honesty to be successful. You are currently lacking seemingly all three. Cheating is NEVER swinging. Swinging is something that a couple does together (no matter if it is swinging as a couple, hot wife, cuck, open marriage, etc), in the open, with love and full knowledge of what is going on. Cheating is done alone, in the dark, and filled with lies and deceit. Cheating is the exact opposite of swinging. Swinging will make a rock solid, great relationship even better, but it does it by working as a magnifying glass. If there are ANY cracks or flaws it will magnify them, making them bigger and much easier to see. It WILL destroy a relationship that is already having problems. You are nowhere near ready to even be thinking about swinging. It will not solve your problems, just accelerate them. You need to be working on saving your relationship, if that is what you want to do. You may think that swinging will help 'save' your relationship, but it is just giving him a license to keep cheating on you. We wish you the best, and please know that we are here to listen and try and help as you go through this, but we cannot suggest you get into swinging at this time, or any time soon.

You two are talking and in counseling, so that's a start. Would some form of the lifestyle be good for you? No one knows at this point, including you folks. My suggestion would be just to talk about it. Each of you saying not what you want, but how you could be happy for the other to enjoy some sexual freedoms. If each of you can't easily say that you would like to see the other with some else, having a wonderful time screwing, then forget it for now. If on the other hand, you guys end up turned on, in bed talking more about it.... continue to talk. Talk about what you both would like to do, MFM, FFM, full swap. Then continue to let it sink in for at least a couple of months. Good luck and keep us updated.

Don’t let others get in your head! She followed the rules you and her set up therefore she thought about what she did with the biggest worry you not approving. She is experimenting that’s it. Nobody is turning her bisexual or taking her away from you. Enjoy that she liked it.

As already pointed out, only the two of you really know each other here. Ms. Gold likes to be able to explore the occasional other woman, but she has made it crystal clear that she would never choose another woman as long as men still existed on the planet. Knowing this, I wouldn't have a problem having her do the same thing your wife did. It sounds like this was fairly spontaneous, making it kind of difficult to contact you before it happened, but she did contact you after and give you the details...I would be good with that...but every relationship is different and only you two know for sure.

I have a question for everyone. The wife and I started swinging about 3 years ago. We are not very active however, as we have only swung with one other couple about 3-4 times per year. During this time, my wife opened up to me and told me that she is not just a woman who is cool with a little girl-girl action during swinging, but she is and always has been a bisexual. I told her at the time that I was supportive and did not mind if she had sex with girls, as long as I knew about it and that the other girl knew she was a married woman. Well, this actually happened over the weekend while she was on a girl's trip to the beach. She immediately called and told me about it like she said she would. I could tell in her voice that she was upset and was very relieved when I told her it was ok. Well, a friend of mine (the male half of the couple that we swing with) told me that he does not think it is a good idea for that to be happening. He's been swinging and having threesomes for far longer than I have, and he says that, in his experience, this never ends well. I have been with my wife for 15 years and trust her completely. She even remembered the rule we had in place about letting me know about her adventures, and followed it to the T. I guess I've let him get in my head a bit, and hey, it's 2022. Her leaving me for a woman is definitely a possibility nowadays lol. I'm just looking for input and advice from those of you who have been in the community longer than we have. Thanks Side note: when she got home from her trip, she fucked me while describing the entire session she had with the other woman. Needless to say, I didn't last very long lol.

We would run far away from a couple with this kind of baggage. The last thing you two should be doing is swinging. Work on you first, a lot, then maybe at some point reconsider swinging.

You lack not only trust, but the mindset This isn’t a cure all This is a lifestyle

I've heard of a couple in our area that split for the very same reason. Maybe in this case swinging could have save some marriages by giving the man to indulge his gay side legitimately.

Or they wear additional such rings on the opposite 4th finger.

There is no reason to think she is going to leave you if your marriage is strong. Doesn’t make a difference if she is with a man or a woman the sex is just another form of enjoyment. We never spoke about our other sexual fun for years and it didn’t affect our love at home. Once we were open about meeting others things didn’t change for us. She has plenty of women friends that she meets for non-sexual things and I feel the men she meets are just other friends. She said she isn’t looking for any long term relationships with the men so it is different from being with a friend. I do have long term relationships that are long distance and have never thought of leaving my wife for any of these women.

Don't let other peoples opinions sway you. Your friends comment is just his opinion and has no relevance to what you and your wife share. Seems to me your wife has been very open with you and wanted you to share in her exciting encounter. That should put any insecurity, you may have, to rest. But, solid relationships get their strength from both partners being open in their conversations and the trust it builds. Enjoy in her excitement and what flows from it.

I would say that since you are letting her fulfill her fantasies and needs, there is no reason for her to leave you. As a bisexual woman myself, I have a Lesbian side and a straight side. My desire for women is intense, but I am bisexual and need a man, need dick, as much as pussy. It's your role to satisfy her in that regard. Besides That should tell you something.

I'm not sure why, but this thread brings back feelings in me and I must digress. Reading these posts makes me glad that I/we are not traditional swingers. I would feel left out and awkward even as a woman because early on I became suspicious of men who took an interest without knowing me because I looked and still look much younger than I am. When I was 17, 18 I looked as if I were 13 - very thin, no tits. Guys would hit on me who either thought I was that young and willing to risk it or knew my age and had a fetish for flat chested, young looking girls. (I wondered sometimes if these guys saw my ugly cunt with my big clit and lips, wild bush, they would feel the same.) For all my outward confidence and assertiveness, I need to be in a comfortable situation to enjoy sex. My poly family and occasional dalliance have given me this.

You are funny not like the real serious dudes on here also your friends are hilarious with pancake syrup making a pussy a tasty treat. We fuck with lights on because of the man who gets his kicks from watching us. If you fuck with the lights out you can’t see how juicy a pussy is. With all the fretting you had for years looks like Debbie is enjoying your friend she might not want to go home or you may have to buy an EV for the trips you’ll be making.

I am a black man and I totally understand what this dude is saying about racism. It does go both ways and the white guys that want to be black guys as he described the white boy thugs get in because they wanna be black and try to act black and thuggish. Brother the only thing I can tell you on this was that I would have thrown the shoes at her just like you did and said get your ass up right now and come with me. If she’s out of the door in five minutes or shall I say probably 30 seconds she would’ve heard the car going down the road and I would’ve left her a day exactly where she wanted to be. Brother you are better than me because I would’ve bossed up quick and made it clear that her actions were absolutely unacceptable because she is your woman and the fact that she did not want to play with you when she knew that everybody was ignoring you shows that she is disrespecting you on every level. There is no way I would except that from my wife. My wife is sitting right next to me right now and she said the exact same thing but in a different way. No my wife is not black she is Slavic Russian and she said there was no way I would leave you hanging like that when I see everybody acting like assholes to you. In fact when we return to her home country of Latvia, which is a former Soviet union country for all of you who do not know. I am the odd man out and my woman doesn’t leave my side for one bit and several times and we have gone to clubs in her country where I am the only person of color, several of the Russian guys trying to come up to her and pull her away from me even though I usually get in the face real quick, my wife turns into a complete ice queen and cold as Siberia. And the things that she would say to them in Russian would make a hooker jump out of church and change your religion. Your girl/wife turned you into a spectator in a team sport and did not give a damn. Like I said once I threw those shoes at her and told her it’s time to go and she did not return to be in 30 seconds, I would have bounced and went right out the door and one of the people in her party would’ve said you better get your clothes on because your husband is driving down the street and I hope you got money for Uber because it looks like you’re gonna need it. Sometimes you just got a boss up dude and not take disrespect and the host of the party, she was part of the plan of everything that was going on. They wanted your lady and your lady didn’t care that you get hurt by it . So your problem is with your lady disrespecting you and she would no longer be my lady because if she’s willing to do that to me and that situation, can you imagine what situation she would do you wrong where is actually extremely important. Tell Coco to pack her bags and have that to take care of her.

AS one who gets older (60 yrs young) one gets more attracted to the thought of bi sex. I find myself looking at bi porn, also transexual porn. Probably will go all the way one day...soon. Wife knows and it turns her on...she mentioned she wanted to see two males together about 35 years or so ago.

I have found that the older I get the more interested in male bisexuality I become. Not too long ago, I would have been disgusted by the thought. Now, I find myself watching bisexual videos and am fascinated by the action. I want to try sucking a cock. I think about it a lot. I see lots of ads on Craigslist for guys like me that want to do this. I love everything about women but I still keep thinking about sucking a cock! Anyone else find this to be true as they've gotten older?

So the curiosity has started to make me watch more gay porn. I've even started browsing CL in the men for men just to see what's out there. Even answered an ad. Guy responded, I responded back. Right before sending the first email I got super nervous! Even said in my email I got super amped heartrate up just sending it. What was I doing and thinking!!! But I did it anyway. There is a first time for everything. I'm pretty sure I'd prefer top then bottom. I would imagine if I can get past it's a dude I'm fucking, that a guy's asshole feels the same as a woman's. And I LOVE having anal with a woman. Was searching for a white hairless younger late 20's up guy. I hate hairy pussy, and a dude that's hairy is revolting to me. A pink hairless white dude not so much. This is some serious experimenting with my sexuality. IF, I say IF I try it, it may end up being a one time thing. It may turn into a regular thing if I like it. Women are #1 for me but if it is safe and fun.....we will see. Thoughts please? Am I treading where I shouldn't? One meeting with this person will tell me whether I will or won't continue. I'm not confused about my sexuality or anything like that. I love women. But I also love sex. Sex with a dude is still sex. I'm sure a guy who loves sucking cock can suck a cock but good. I just know I like seeing a woman do it. Watching porn I really only like seeing anal. Male cock sucking disturbs me still. Actually it's the cumming in a guy's mouth I find just gross. The sucking is fine. I'll eat my own creampie out of my woman's pussy but do not want a dude coming in my mouth. My asshole if I go there .....cool if I enjoy it. This has got my adrenaline going. I sure get hard watching guys dp a guy just like a woman being anally dp'ed. Like I say I like it naughty. The dirtier the better.

Long time lurker on Swingersboard but a first time poster. I felt compelled to post here as I am very Bi-curious and at age 61 been thinking of it for several years now. My wife and I are not longer in the lifestyle and she knows nothing of my curiosity, but still the fascination seems to be building. I don't want to go with a guy 1 to 1 as I think that would be akin to cheating. I have however jacked on cam with other guys and enjoyed the feeling and watching them come at the same time. Sorry for the rambling, but I guess it will remain hidden unless I can talk the wife into getting back into the lifestyle and then see what she thinks of my curiosity.

I had a very mild bi-curious tendency when I was younger. This was partially caused by the fact that my brother was raped by a guy and partially caused by my interest in swinging with couples. In my young fantasies I always needed to prove to the guy I was worthy of sleeping with his women by first sleeping with him. It never came to that, but those were my younger fantasies. Fast forward to now. I am 62 and yes, I have become much more bi curious over the years and approximately 15 years ago taken the plunge and for the first time I had a 3-some with a couple with a bi guy. They made me feel comfortable. She started out playing with me and gently handed me over to her husband. It felt very natural. He let me touch him, but did not push it, knowing it was my first experience as well. It was an absolutely great introduction to the bi lifestyle. I never looked back. Since then I have been with a number of couples. Regretfully, I have no steady couple, but that's ok. I've done mostly oral and fucked the women. I have fucked a guy once and been fucked by a guy once. The guy on guy stuff was always safe (using condoms) and I greatly enjoyed getting fucked. The fucking itself is the same, love it, but it is not really a new experience. All I can say and I have said it somewhere else on this site before. When I walk outside, am on the beach, look online, I'll go gaga over (I'm turned on by) a woman's body, physic, lips, butt, pussy, boobs etc., but I am never turned on by a man's body or any of his attributes. So yes in bed it's fun to be with a guy so now and then, especially in a 3-some situation and in showing off to the lady, but I could not survive without a woman.

Came back to same sex play after a 30+ year hiatus. Had a bi history, along with group sex, back in my twenties. Drifted away from all that & was both straight & monogamous for many decades, but early last year I had a opportunity to revisit it with a acquaintance & found I am still comfortable having sex with a man.

Not going to lie. I've watched and jerked to gay porn a few times. I love the super raunchy dirty filthy porn. Gangbangs, DP, DVP, even DA, even though it is not my favorite, it hot and filthy so I love it. I've done anal play with toys many many times. Just don't know if I could bring myself to do a guy or not, or let him do me. Or take a dick in my mouth. It would have to be just the right guy. I have really no idea who or what that is either. I'm sure anal sex feels sooo fucking good. It feels good to the women I've had anal sex with for sure. I just wish you could have anal sex without it being "Gay" lol. I'm sure I'd have sex much more often. But the promiscuity of gay men and being with them also frightens me. I'd rather meet and find a buddy just like me in my shoes, straight but willing to play but be totally monogamous with this side play with me. Other than that we chase woman together or something. Maybe even DP some ladies together. I'm a shop guy. I am a man's man. I ride dirt bikes and am a machinist and welder by trade. I have my own personal fabrication shop. Gay is the farthest thing from who I am. But sex, haha, I said but sex. I mean sex, even gay sex, anal sex, oral sex is sex. Sex is fucking hot as hell. If it wasn't hot and fun to do with guy on guy, no guys would be doing it. But it apparently is. I just love the female body and beauty and femininity. Men are just gross to me. Freakin hairy and all. Whiskery facial hair, male body odor, nasty. What the hell makes you ladies even like us anyway? lol! If I was a female I would be a lesbian. I'm a male lesbian now hahaha. I love woman. As soon as gay becomes totally whatever, accepted without a second thought, I might try it. Doubt this will ever happen though. I was molested by a gay man, so I have serious issues with anything gay. But I also am a very sexual man. I love sex and anything and everything about it. But guy on guy stops me in my tracks. Maybe I could do a hot tranny shemale. More like a woman. Hell I don't know! lol And I am older as well. 48.

My wife knows that I'm bi and is fine with it. I've had sex with other wives in front of her and never gave it any thought. But if we were to be with a couple with a bi husband or have a threesome with a bi guy, I'd be very uncomfortable enjoying the man in front of my wife. I don't know why, but I would. Do any of you feel the same way?

This couple came over to introduce themselves to us last night. They told us that the age difference was obvious, but would make it worth our while if we were interested. I was turned toward the wife trying to let her know that we usually don't play at house parties when I felt something heavy lay across my lap. I thought it was my SO trying to signal me that he was not wanting to be with them. I went to grab what I thought was his arm when, OH MY DAMN! Her husband had his dick laying in my lap. That man was very blessed, but way too big for me. If this is what he was working with, I'm not sure my baby could do anything for this woman. He's only 6 inches long. This guy had to be every bit of about 10 inches long. NO joke ladies. How many of you other women have turned a couple down because you thought that your husband/SO would be too small for the female half of the couple?