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Didn’t know where to post this thought I had when I read about the fear of wife leaving for another woman she met alone. This may not pertain to all here. SEX is for Fun. We were not looking for love or romantic relationships. Think most here agree with that. We talked and talked and talked before taking that first step of just looking. We Love US. Forgive my ramble. Rocky plays guitar and sings but he’s no Dave Matthews. We will go to a concert but I will listen to Rocky for the rest of life. Rocky is extremely funny and witty yet we go to listen to many comedians who are hysterical. We both are pretty good cooks and then we go to restaurants. We still hire plumbers, electricians, gardeners and other tradesmen though we are capable to fix things. The pandemic gave us time to again talk and that led to a curiosity. I don’t consider myself Bisexual, others will say I fit a definition. That curiosity brought me to act out not change my preference. Possibly it was the rebel in me that had me go against what society says is wrong, what religion says is wrong. I can’t say if it was the openness of same sex relationships on TV and movies that made me curious. We made a decision together knowing I was taking a new step and Rocky would likely have sex with another woman. I brought up him having sex with a man that he had no interest in doing. I didn’t push him, we just talked about it. I wanted to fulfill a fantasy not find a lover. I wanted to have fun and I had fun. We had fun together with a couple and I had a number of firsts. That first time led to a first time with a friend and her husband. This was about sexual fun not anything more. I also had sex alone with my girlfriend with the husbands knowing. We did the same things alone as we did with the husbands watching. Back to the post about leaving your spouse after having sex without him being there, IT’S NOT HAPPENING.

If you are under 45 years old, I urge you to get an HPV vaccine if you have not done so already. Condoms are not protective enough.

I think you hit the nail on the head. Everyone here to one level or another seeks and enjoys the openness, the laughter, the fun, the ability to talk about most anything at all. Oh yeah. There will be sex play at one level or another. This lifestyle is very social both in and out of the bedroom. There is no one definition the lifestyle is very all-inclusive of every gender, all adult accepted sexual practices. Each and every participant chooses for themselves what they may or may not want to try, experience, watch, explore, discover etc. that covers about 90 percent of all those that participate at any level. And then the other 10 percent. For all the wrong reasons they dabble, they hope it helps, they hope it will fix things, they hope it will change things, they hope to prove something, they hope to teach someone a lesson, they are looking to be treated as they believe they deserve, they love to pass judgement on others, they love drama, they want to set up there spouse/so for some personal reason, they are there hopefully just to please their spouse/so. Again the list is endless. And for the special 65 percent who can treat sex as an adult extracurricular activity to be shared and enjoyed……well…..life is full of spice.

Rednurse...sent you a PM a couple of days ago as well. Not sure you have seen it. Short answer, no. You mentioned you had already embarked on counseling together. As you are likely learning, you (plural) came to the crisis together, and you must emerge from it together. It's more than your actions and his actions, it's about how you see your (plural, shared) future. It's more than "seeing things from his point of view"; it's wanting to share a shared vision.

We had a little of that last weekend, too.✨

That is the perfect attitude and the perfect prelude to entering the lifestyle. Talking to make sure you are doing it for fun not revenge or because one is pressuring. After years of just sexual play we are now enjoying a more social aspect of the lifestyle. We had steered clear of any close relationships maybe out of fear of not wanting to be involved with other’s problems.

We met a couple in Cancun with black wedding rings, I asked them about it, but they didn't seem to get it.

I'm not going to say "this isn't for you", but "this isn't for you right now". There's so much hurt in this post, and so many unanswered questions - like why your husband is asking for this and what you think it will solve. If you were swinging happily and any of these things happened, the advice from the responsible people here would be "it's time to take a break and focus on yourselves as a couple". Focus on yourselves as a couple. Build on that. This is 100% not a curative for mistrust, anxiety, or depression.

The issue isn't really one of swinging, it could be any undertaking that requires commitment and sacrifice from both of you. You could be posting on sailorsboard.com asking if buying a sailboat would be good for your relationship; it may or it may not. But both of you need to know what the other is thinking: how much to spend, how big a boat, a day-sailer or something to spend overnights? Maybe you should rent first. Same with opening up your sex lives. And if there are too many rules (more than one each) you're not ready. Neither of you can get upset or mad because your husband kissed her or you let some guy go into your bum. Finally, not all marriages are worth continuing. I don't understand all the couples who are proud that they put up with decades of misery in a loveless, sexless marriage, like their running a marathon. Think it all through.

Swingers MUST have an abundance of love, trust, and honesty to be successful. You are currently lacking seemingly all three. Cheating is NEVER swinging. Swinging is something that a couple does together (no matter if it is swinging as a couple, hot wife, cuck, open marriage, etc), in the open, with love and full knowledge of what is going on. Cheating is done alone, in the dark, and filled with lies and deceit. Cheating is the exact opposite of swinging. Swinging will make a rock solid, great relationship even better, but it does it by working as a magnifying glass. If there are ANY cracks or flaws it will magnify them, making them bigger and much easier to see. It WILL destroy a relationship that is already having problems. You are nowhere near ready to even be thinking about swinging. It will not solve your problems, just accelerate them. You need to be working on saving your relationship, if that is what you want to do. You may think that swinging will help 'save' your relationship, but it is just giving him a license to keep cheating on you. We wish you the best, and please know that we are here to listen and try and help as you go through this, but we cannot suggest you get into swinging at this time, or any time soon.

You two are talking and in counseling, so that's a start. Would some form of the lifestyle be good for you? No one knows at this point, including you folks. My suggestion would be just to talk about it. Each of you saying not what you want, but how you could be happy for the other to enjoy some sexual freedoms. If each of you can't easily say that you would like to see the other with some else, having a wonderful time screwing, then forget it for now. If on the other hand, you guys end up turned on, in bed talking more about it.... continue to talk. Talk about what you both would like to do, MFM, FFM, full swap. Then continue to let it sink in for at least a couple of months. Good luck and keep us updated.

I’ll keep this short and sweet … you’re nowhere NEAR ready to try swinging! The LifeStyle is for couples whose relationship is rock solid … yours isn’t even close. Keep working on you as a couple before you even consider adding other people to the mix. To do otherwise will be the end of your marriage.

SLS has a forum section on cruises that includes a "roll call" . If your cruise is posted there, it's easy. If your cruise is not posted there, post it.

We both love it. Been playing with one couple for years now. That said there have been moments where the other women feels left out. My wife is a cum slut..hehe, she hates that name but so true. Sex isn’t sex to her unless she’s gets filled up. Communication is the key and we work to respect everyone’s feelings.

My current GF has been curious about swinging and nonmonogamy in general, and not found anyone she could be open about it with. When we started talking, and she found that instead of the idea bothering me, I was an enthusiastic supporter, she was able to talk about some fantasies that she's never been able to say out loud before. I don't think she really believed that it was okay with me. The first time she came to me after a hot date, she was so excited to shot me her creampie, and she came almost instantly when I pushed into her. I think that afternoon, she was finally able to relax and trust that I like her, even when she's leaking another guy's cum. She's still at the early stages of the lifestyle, and I"m encouraging her to take small steps so that she's comfortable at each new experience. But so far, it's been a helluva ride. To think that several guys let this one get away... well, it certainly works out to my benefit. As to sloppy seconds (or thirds, or fifths, or whatever), the hotter and slippery-er (yes, that's a word now) she is, the better. Also, the more turned on she is the better. She gets SO turned on showing off for me, that the sex can't be anything but amazing.

One of my good friends in high school was a very nice, good looking gal who only had one leg. She had lost one leg as a child. We dated the summer after high school, and while we had some nice make-out sessions we did not have sex. In the fall we went in separate directions to college. I went into the military after college and never returned to my home town except for short visits to my parents. Also, I got married right after graduate school and did not mess around. I decided to go to my 30th high school reunion and we got reacquainted during the party. When we slow danced she made sure that she got her good leg between mine, rubbing my cock and getting it hard. Then she whispered in my ear, "I never knew it was that big back in high school or we might have fooled around more then. Two weeks later I returned and we met at a restaurant in a near by town for lunch before gong to the hotel I was staying at. She was so hot, so sexy, and so good in bed. She would take off her artificial leg and hope around to the bathroom and back to bed on her good leg with the help of a crutch or me. She loved my going down on her, telling me that she had not been eaten since she was in college. When we fucked she would spread her stub leg out to the side so I could get every inch in, and she came often. She had a hysterectomy years earlier so we did not have to worry about her getting pregnant. We both loved fucking with sloppy seconds, and by the time she had to leave and go home. she was so full of my cum that it would run down her good leg and puddle on the floor. After the time together, she would bring a panty liner and put it in her panty to catch the cum as she drove home. We continued to get together about once a month for fantastic sex sessions for about 10 years. Her husband got sick and we decided to stop our affair. But, years later we still chat from time to time, using little clue words to let each other know that we have fond memories of the times together.

We like sexy people. The color of their skin or size of their cock makes zero difference to her on whether someone is attractive or not. People that sell themselves as a BBC will get ignored as much as people that sell themselves as BWC. We will leave the cock obsession for others out there.

This whole thread made me sick to my stomach. Fetishizing Black people is so yuck.