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Dating during the AIDS epidemic, not knowing who you were dating I figured unless she was dating a bi guy I had a better chance of another STD. Covid was another scare we still have that we are just becoming more at ease with. Monkey pox so far hasn’t been an issue. Our male friends are not bi or gay, could be our heads are in the sand.

We'll continue to avoid clubs for the time being, though we still haven't got back to those since Covid, which is also back to high transmission levels here.

We are the same. For me it's about trust. Everything a man wants to do with me requires me letting him be in my body. If I'm letting a person be inside me, I'd like to know him. Or I'd need to know a bottle of tequila very intimately. That works too lol. I didn't always have this rule but I do now.

For us MFM with a known partner whose general other activity is known to us is safe enough. Parties and glory hole etc not so much.

I swear this is absolutely true. October 2002, Hubby and I were at a nudist resort in Antigua, laying on the nude beach talking with other Americans there and naturally, the talk eventually turned to sex. An adorable 44 year old woman who appeared to be alone was interested in a tryst with me and hubby later in the day, which was OK with me. She later showed up at our cottage with her 24 year old daughter. I was extremely hesitant at first, but it turned out to be one of the most erotic experiences ever, she and her daughter and me and my hubby together continually changing partners was unbelievable. Obviously, both of them were more experienced than us and taught us some nice stuff. Never was a fantasy of mine or his, but it was a unique and wonderful experience. The funny thing is it was our first sexual experience with other people.

After moving to a new state we didn’t keep our profile on a meeting site because of a few reasons including Covid and feeling strange with advertising to meet. We have met a few nice people who we enjoy being with still keeping our profile alive. Never wanting to being overly sexual in our description we get just a few inquiries. We are honest with height, weight, age and have a current photo. I like to think we are attractive as others say HWP. We post no singles and still get them. We know the posting involves sex yet we don’t post overtly sexual acts wanted. Our picture that is open is very G rated. We have an R protected. No X rated. We were contacted by a new member who state they are thinking of swinging, something that makes us wonder the authenticity of the poster. They have not asked us for pictures, we have seen there G picture. They are close to our age and through messages they have children about children’s age, maybe younger. They claim they haven’t met anyone, never played, and are asking plenty of questions. They suggested a call or FaceTime meeting. They sent us their number after we showed hesitancy in sharing hours. Do we want to be a couple’s first? We are certified by two members, they have no history. Maybe we are overthinking that we aren’t good enough to be a first, will that ruin it for them. They aren’t in a hurry from how we read the messages but they must be in contact with others. We know how to do baby steps, call, meeting and then decide. I bet others would jump at the opportunity. I’m thinking about our first time when the others knew exactly what to do.

Great information all around. Like any other illness, it is something to worry about.

I fear Monkeypox will spread to bimale swingers from gay partners, then to swinger partners in the near future. You don’t have to be Nostradamus to figure that one out. No offense whatsoever to gay or bi males, it’s just where it is now.

Personally, especially since we try our best to help others here, we would be willing to at least talk with them and see where they are at and what they are thinking (just like if they were posting questions here). We would be all over a Facetime meeting since that is the quickest way to verify that they are not fakes and are both interested in swinging. Heck, we are willing to have dinner and conversation with just about anyone interested because you never know who you might click with (looks, for us, is not everything...it's personalities that matter most). More than likely, they are looking for info and someone who has experience so they can be better informed. Just because you talk with them, doesn't mean that you are going to play with them. Start the conversation and know that you can always stop it at just about any time. At the very least, you should point them in the direction of this board so they can make a more informed decision as to if this is for them or not.

If you don't want to ruin it for them, then let it be about them and not you. "What would you like to try?" "Have you discussed this between you?" "Let us know how and when you wish to proceed." " Remember you can always say stop, if something gets uncomfortable. We will understand." Always show respect for their relationship. We remember what a great and vulnerable time just starting is. People need to proceed at their own pace and only they know what that pace is. That has to be honored. You are NOT primarily guides or teachers, just friendly, safe and encouraging.

And this fun bit of news today. https://www.newsweek.com/how-long-can-monkeypox-survive-food-scabs-1729618

Interesting. We are part of a totally closed group of married couples for the reason that we all not only prefer bareback, but also having the guy ejaculate into the woman, almost always into her vagina. The difference is, I suppose, that us men (and the woman) don't mind or even enjoy (I'm in that category) going into that mess for subsequent rounds.

Even as a guy I can't get excited about having sex with a woman who I don't know; my wife is even more so like that. We need to click on a social level, process it, then if there is a desire, meet again to screw.

Oh, no! Say it isn't so! But... but... the story seemed so... believable! NOT Lol...

I have three couples my husband and I swing with regularly, and we have had our own little parties with all of us together, but never any formal swinger party. I've considered attending an club downtown but it looks kinda seedy so we haven't yet.

We attend parties with many people. This doesn’t mean everyone plays with everyone. With no agenda I never know who I’ll be with.

We play with a group of friends primarily. We are usually one of four couples.

I told my wife on our fourth date. She had a lot of questions like did I prefer men or not. And she asked what I liked about it, I listed all that came to mind. She said that's the same things she like. So she said that she didn't know if it's a turn on or not. She was only the second woman I told this to. We're married a year later. Two years into our marriage I told her I was having strong desires to suck a dick. She got a strap on and we bought p***. She got the idea what kind of dick I like. After first time she was disgusted with me. She could not think of me at the man after seeing me on my knees in front of another man. We were soon divorced. Two months after divorce she called me up she want a threesome with me and her new boyfriend. I've done that with three different boyfriend of hers She said when she sees a guy with the perfect penis she thinks of me.

My wife encouraged my bi side many years ago and has enjoyed watching me since! She loves to lay back and masturbate while my partner and I play...really turns her on.

gsu22 I know right where you are coming from. I had a long time girlfriend that did not know I was Bi. Had been texting with a guy and she snooped through my phone. Boy did shit hit the fan. Why? Why do you do that? Finally told her I thought I was Bi. Not a pretty scene. Just one person's stigma and being very unsure with themselves and the relationship.

Interesting question and we have found ourselves in this situation before with another guy from a couple we played with. To answer your question, the answer would be no. Because of previous experiences with people who have told us "yes my wife knows and supports me and wants me to experience things", more times than not, we have found ourselves face to face with the wife who was definitely not OK with it all. And we're open and honest people when we play. Getting caught up in lies or half-truths or people who can't seem to walk as they talk, has just made us very much more aware of the backgrounds of people whom we choose to play with.

Letting my wife know that I was bi was the best thing I've done in my long married life. And, honestly, if I were to be single again I wouldn't even go out on a date with a woman who wasn't OK with me being lifestyle-friendly and bisexual. Both of those understandings simply make conversations easy.

When she didn't know, it sucked. I was too afraid to tell her such a horrible thing. Once she knew, life got very interesting. She never ceases to amaze me.

As to the original question here, wouldn't make a difference to us if someone said they normally didn't use condoms. But then again, we are one of those couples that will freely admit that we prefer not to use condoms. Based on some of the responses though, I do have some observations we have made that may be something to think about. First of all, we have noticed that on average, the people we have seen doing things that are known to be the riskiest behavior for contracting std's, were usually "condoms only" couples. For us we would gauge people more on what risks they are willing to take over whether they use condoms or not. Second, we have noticed that most swingers, when asked, will say they are condom only, whether they really are or not. They do this for the very reason that this original question was asked. And that is, because it is well known in the swinger community that some "condom only" folks will not consider playing with them if they find out they prefer not to use condoms. Lastly, we know several "condom only" couples that will basically do anybody. It isn't unusual for them to have sex with 3 or 4 different people on a average night at the club, and they usually go to the club a half dozen nights a month. Others are more like us, we are very selective when choosing people to play with. Therefore, even though we may go to the club as often as the previously described couples, we probably only have about 6 or 8 different sex partners in a year. If you are even vaguely familiar with the risks of std transmission, it is obvious that you are at much less risk with the latter type of couple than you are with the former. Even though, the former is "condoms only" and the later is condoms optional. I think the thing that bothers me the most personally about the condom issue is the level of false sense of security most "condoms only" folks attribute to their use. The fact is, they provide little to no protection for the most common std's. Yet many folks actually believe that once they slip that condom on they are safe. When you mention this to folks who are condom only, they will usually say something like, "oh, I realize they are not 100% protection". But in their mind they actually believe that they are 70% or 80% or even 90% protected when using condoms, when in reality, condoms might provide, if you put the most optimistic slant possible on the available data, less than 10% protection for the most common std's over no condom at all. It is this false sense of security people have regarding condoms, that I believe often leads people to engage in risky sexual practices without a worry, that they would never consider without condoms.That is what scares me away from those people more than anything.

The important thing is that when you told them you only play with condoms, they respected that and suited up. You can try limiting your partners to those who only use condoms too, but who's to say they're telling the truth? =)

Exactly. Even if someone says they normally use protection, you don't really KNOW what they do. It is up to each of us to take responsibility for our own safety, you can't expect anyone else to do it for you.

Wife and I did a threesome with her female cousin for a while. It was great. Why we stopped is a long story, but it had nothing to do with the fact they were real cousins.