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Read both of the answers above. Great advice by real people who know about the lifestyle. We were all Lifestyle first timers at some point and I can say a bad first time will stick with you and might sour you. FaceTime, drinks, dinner, real honest conversation. Make sure both parties are onboard and not one spouse making the other do something they will regret. Swinging is not a cure for a bad relationship, a bad relationship will only blow up if forced. Look for the signs of coercion they are sometimes hidden. As the others stated, make it about them, what they want and read the why they want it. We have learned that you will be rewarded with a great meeting and a no pressure first time. I see you are already reading our members and know who to trust. You seem like a new thoughtful presence on our little board.

Personally, especially since we try our best to help others here, we would be willing to at least talk with them and see where they are at and what they are thinking (just like if they were posting questions here). We would be all over a Facetime meeting since that is the quickest way to verify that they are not fakes and are both interested in swinging. Heck, we are willing to have dinner and conversation with just about anyone interested because you never know who you might click with (looks, for us, is not everything...it's personalities that matter most). More than likely, they are looking for info and someone who has experience so they can be better informed. Just because you talk with them, doesn't mean that you are going to play with them. Start the conversation and know that you can always stop it at just about any time. At the very least, you should point them in the direction of this board so they can make a more informed decision as to if this is for them or not.

If you don't want to ruin it for them, then let it be about them and not you. "What would you like to try?" "Have you discussed this between you?" "Let us know how and when you wish to proceed." " Remember you can always say stop, if something gets uncomfortable. We will understand." Always show respect for their relationship. We remember what a great and vulnerable time just starting is. People need to proceed at their own pace and only they know what that pace is. That has to be honored. You are NOT primarily guides or teachers, just friendly, safe and encouraging.

After moving to a new state we didn’t keep our profile on a meeting site because of a few reasons including Covid and feeling strange with advertising to meet. We have met a few nice people who we enjoy being with still keeping our profile alive. Never wanting to being overly sexual in our description we get just a few inquiries. We are honest with height, weight, age and have a current photo. I like to think we are attractive as others say HWP. We post no singles and still get them. We know the posting involves sex yet we don’t post overtly sexual acts wanted. Our picture that is open is very G rated. We have an R protected. No X rated. We were contacted by a new member who state they are thinking of swinging, something that makes us wonder the authenticity of the poster. They have not asked us for pictures, we have seen there G picture. They are close to our age and through messages they have children about children’s age, maybe younger. They claim they haven’t met anyone, never played, and are asking plenty of questions. They suggested a call or FaceTime meeting. They sent us their number after we showed hesitancy in sharing hours. Do we want to be a couple’s first? We are certified by two members, they have no history. Maybe we are overthinking that we aren’t good enough to be a first, will that ruin it for them. They aren’t in a hurry from how we read the messages but they must be in contact with others. We know how to do baby steps, call, meeting and then decide. I bet others would jump at the opportunity. I’m thinking about our first time when the others knew exactly what to do.

Have you shared this site with them? Do. As you know it's full of great information and lots of nice folks willing to share and help. I remember our first meet-up and conversation. The freedom we felt sitting over coffee in a public space talking to another couple about sex was intoxicating. How often do we have the chance to do that? Without judgement, without fear and without commitment. We did try to play with them that evening. It was not good. Got to their place and the reality kicked in. I remember two specific points of complete turn off: She was in the middle of her period and he didn't bother to wear a clean un-torn pair of underwear. Obviously as couples we had different expectations, Live and learn. We would totally meet with them.

About two years ago we were that couple reaching out on a paid site not knowing if we were doing the right thing. Strangers on a sex site could be very risky. Rocky and I talked and talked, then researched, joined this group and another looking for the right way to act and what to look for when meeting strangers. It was a very big step to have the conversation and the first meeting. I would think our reactions were similar to many others. We were not rushed and we kept giving approval signs. I wish I could recommended our first friends to everyone looking to enter our lifestyle

It depends. If it's just me and a guy, I'm thinking about getting him in my pussy. If I've been already otherwise satisfied or if someone else is working on me down below, then I'm thinking about making him orgasm and how to play with his ejaculation in my mouth before I swallow it. (Guys like that.)

To me the woman I desire, have always desired is the girl that everyone has taken a turn on. The town slut. I don't know why but always that is the woman I want and humiliation makes it better...That is all I know. Give me a used woman to take care of and I am happy....

It's just the definition of the word, doesn't matter whether it's done with consent, as a full swap, or anything. Just that your wife sleeps with other men. Cuckold kink/porn has added in the whole humiliation aspect.

Not sure I agree with that? For me, we're exploring our sexuality, and we are always TOGETHER when doing so. Of course, once it's separate, that's another story. I loathe the idea of being humiliated by a woman via sex but very much enjoy me and my wife flexing our skills in a group setting. So, where is "the line?" 🤷‍♂️

Married or single, male or female, straight or bi, compersion or self-arousal - there are just a lot of people who like watching or just knowing that their partner (or in my case, partners) is having sex or in love with one or more other people. Another wonderful variation of nonmonogamy.

I don't think answers to your question are going to help you. I'd focus more on getting to know your individual partner's likes and dislikes. Also, it would be beneficial to ease your own concerns about being good enough. That seems like a better avenue to fulfilling your partner's needs than meeting an arbitrary time length of intercourse.