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Ha she also got totally lost in the moment. My dick was flopping around in the rhythm of their fucking. The whole thing was so erotic that I came without any touch from her.

Too much + too fast = bad experience It's a simple formula. Stop. Regroup. Discuss why you want to swing in the first place? Decide what you hope to accomplish? Proceed slowly with people willing to help you overcome the "newbie jitters" that everyone experiences. Always remember: Sex is largely an intellectual experience played out in the physical realm. The largest sex organ is the brain. Male impotence (failure to get and maintain an erection), assuming there is no underlying medical condition, is the result of anxiety. It is a thinking problem, not a physical one. Get your head right groove and good sex will follow. Consider that group sex may not be a good fit for you? Ann and I have been in the lifestyle quite a while. Group sex has never been our thing. We've found quiet evenings with a well paired couple offers everything we need to have an enjoyable, sensual experience. More is not always better. In our case, it seldom is. Also, consider changing your expectations. We do not begin our lifestyle liaisons with visions of living out a porno flick. Our liaisons emphasize sensuality, foreplay, and slowly building up sexual tension. Sexual intercourse, per se, is not The Goal. We focus on the sensual pursuit of the ladies and find the slow build up of sexual tension provides all the stimulation we need to perform. Seldom do I, or the other male, have trouble getting and maintaining our erections (however, we are at an age where we lean on the assistance of sildenafil or other enhancers, but they are not foolproof.)

I am certainly not looking for sympathy, nor am i avoiding any role i have played in making this a difficult post-experience. I know my wife would argue that i am taking out my frustrations on her by lashing out at her and making underhanded comments that have no basis, the tone and words i use come off as a blaming attack (even though i really don't blame her about anything, it comes across as tho i do) - these are true statements and i have since cut that shit out. I would argue that my wife's reaction to my difficulties handling this has been less than what i would hope for - getting frustrated at my constant negativity (again, i have since turned that down) and her defensiveness rather than supportiveness. We definitely DID NOT CHECK IN with each other nearly as much/at all during the experience - a newbie mistake that we knew we were supposed to do, just... didn't... i would regularly look over at her to see her having a good time - mostly because i wasn't "gainfully employed" during much of the session, but she was. She told me that at the very start of the session, when i was starting with another woman and she another man, she looked over at me and was a bit shell-shocked at the sight of me with another woman - not uncommon for a first time I'd assume. She had to re-focus her mind to continue, but i think in the end that translated to a combination of her not wanting to look over at me with another woman/ she was distracted by her own fun experience to see that i was struggling. At the end of the session when we all returned to our partners, she had no idea that i was struggling and didn't perform the entire night. She did feel incredibly bad about that and was very sympathetic- at the end we returned to our individual couples room where we had sex to reconnect and reach her to orgasm - a helpful experience. A question posed: HOW DO YOU GUYS DO YOUR CHECK INS WITH YOUR PARTNER DURING A SESSION? I am simply looking for constructive means for a way forward based on what has worked for other couples. I really want to see if this can be an enjoyable lifestyle with my wife. I do not want to rule something out just and think it's "not for me" after one instance. When i first went to college i was on the verge of quitting because i thought i couldn't "handle it". It was a new, overwhelming experience where i was completely responsible for my success or failure - the environment was new and the pressure of the classes was great. Had i not had encouragement and tips on how to successfully navigate it, i never would have gotten my degree, let alone any of my subsequent ones . Yes this is a loose connection, but the bottom line is i haven't had nearly enough experience to determine if it's not for me, or if I'm simply out of my comfort zone and still navigating how to communicate with my wife about it.

I just remembered this thread. On our vacation, I left Mrs. E alone for about ten minutes, and in that time she got chatted up and ended up with a phone number. Some texting went well enough that - my idea - she ended up having a solo lunch date with him while I got some work done. The pretext was a shopping trip at a department store to try to find a new swimsuit. She didn't end up buying anything, but trying a few on was a good prelude to the rest of her afternoon, and we had a good laugh that she could have easily turned it into a very different kind of date and worked out a pretty favorable arrangement.

I'm surprised that I've never posted in this thread. Mrs. E. will tell you that her favorite is missionary, followed by cowgirl and doggy. She gets an especially "psychedelic" (her word) reaction from riding cock and being held upright her partner, it can hit an angle that's just short of too intense for her, and likes being able to rub her breasts in a partner's face. Doggy is a little tricky with her being quite tall to get an angle that is comfortable, but she loves it when it's right. Missionary, though, with easy deep kissing and her legs wrapped around, is her favorite. She's also taken more lately to asking me to stand on the edge of the bed so she can put her legs on my shoulders. Sometimes we'll set up a mirror so she can watch me thrust that way. Reverse cowgirl is mostly reserved for strangers. There have been times she's been feeling shy during encounters and wants to be on top but just likes looking away while she works, or being on the floor where she can suck on me at the same time. Occasionally she'll do me that way on the living room sofa or chair, though.

I love your response. It is a great, hot combination of being flexible in what you do with any particular person and being sure to enjoy yourself. I try to be like you, taking what comes my way from a partner while getting my pleasure.

I now don’t feel as bad knowing others did a search on others they know. I thought someone I met was accomplished not a mass murderer who lurked for unsuspecting book readers.

Here is a good explanation concerning orgasms in a woman. https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/difference-between-clitoral-and-vaginal-orgasm/

Clit orgasm for her is a given. We have done 69 with me licking her while she has a guy from the back. We both enjoy this, Inget a real close up show, while she has all the buttons pressed. Now you mentioned cowgirl, very often when we have seen a girl climax from pen, it's when she is riding cowgirl and with a bit of slow grinding down. So I always thought it's still clit based orgasm.

Wonderful, isn't it? For me, finding my Lesbian side, having Clair and Lora join hubby, Red, and me to form our poly family, and having children together, all fulfilled and completed my life.

I didn’t think it was different because it was just us two with no men involved. We were together to have fun not thinking the men wanted to enjoy. In that way it was different, one on one will always be different from group sex. The major change neither of us were looking for a penis to satisfy and it made feel how a lesbian would feel. I was completely satisfied by another woman which was totally new to me. I found a side of me I didn’t know I had.

Lifestyle or not, it's nice to have a good handyman!

Today you just have to FaceTime no need for pictures or proof that it’s a teen spoofing you. FaceTime just proves you are in communication with real people, it doesn’t prove they are married, or thrives or worse. Other than the internet search we have noticed telltale signs people give off.

You find out more about people by asking questions and creating an open dialogue. Talk is cheap. And it is effective. How to ensure you are talking to a "real" couple? When we were on-line (we are not any longer), we employed a variety of simple strategies and tactics to ensure we were talking to genuine people. After a certain stage of dialogue when everyone expressed interest, we asked they send us a photo of them clothed, holding a hand written note saying hello to us, dated, with a copy of a daily newspaper with the same date, and we would do the same for them. Of course, that was a while ago, when most people actually subscribed to a daily newspaper. Lol... Anyway, you get the idea. You need to establish a simple method to determine if the person/people on the other end of the line is/are genuine or fake. The earlier in the process you do it, the better. No sense wasting time on fakes. Yes, looking for sexual partners on-line has its creepy side. You do your best to avoid the creeps and keep it clean by being smart and going slow. "Trust, but verify", President Ronald Reagan famously said.

Pretty much how we see it. It's not that we're old, we're in our mid-30s busy. But with five in our poly family, the three of us women bi and sharing an outside boyfriend occasionally, it's not boring. We're open to other adventures, but we're all choosy and cautious. That's the way it is for all of us and why we are so regular. Sometimes only one of us may be horny, but when one of us starts, it kindles the desire in the others very easily. Many times after work I've said to myself, "No sex tonight." Then I end up having a wonderful time.

What selfish ladies. I get it. One on one with the man is amazing (as I'm certain your is). Sad that they had to be so closed minded. Wonder it a good pin camera might work? I can't help it's so much fun to watch. I LOVE IT. I agree a lot of single women do want that type of sex, noncommittal, safer, fun, etc., and many more reasons. I love the man but I am not clingy and other women pick up in it. I get inquiries about him quite often when we are out and about.

Thankfully I don’t need the money. I just wish the government wouldn’t control what people do with their bodies as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. It is kind of hypocritical that men in power use that power to have sex, men in power who have sex and then pay to keep their secret quiet. I don’t like that men will force women into sex and then steal the pay. If selling sex pays the rent, the food or lets someone live a decent life, as long as they are careful and not transmitting disease, they should be able to do so. This goes for men too who will satisfy women’s wants. I have never been to a bachelorette party that had men dancers who would do more but I’ve heard.

That's exactly what I did with my husband, except I lent him out for free to female friends and acquaintances of my choosing. It was a control thing: me choosing the women that he slept with, then telling him it was arranged and to do it - but he never complained. It turned out to be easier to set up than I thought, but then, it was free and he is good looking. I think a lot of single women want to have sex with another woman's husband. That was a little harder to arrange. Many women took me up on my offer to screw my husband, but few let me watch, fewer let me participate.

In my early 20's I used to sell shots at a gentleman's club, so I've had times where people offered to pay me for my "time." I have done it a few times and it was a good experience, but for the few I accepted, I said not to a lot more. I dont do Fake very well so I really need to be attracted to the men and women I sleep with. The money was good though. I think it should be legalized.

Everyone sells their body. It most likely isn’t sex they are selling even if someone is using you to make money or to have work done in return for money or some other reward. How you use your body is your choice, only others morality say what is right or wrong. It’s called work as long as nobody is hurt. Honey has worked her whole life. While in college she worked after classes in jobs many others in school take. I won’t out her employer who asked her to do extra work. What she did was done willingly and not pressured to do as she was old enough to do it too. Her employer is a man who is married, his wife having an illness that kept her from having sex. The way it was explained to me he wouldn’t physically cheat on his wife, he found his outlet watching others have sex. I wasn’t originally involved when he asked Honey if he could watch her have sex with her boyfriend. He offered to pay for a hotel room and food for her which they could use after he left. Strange as it was they agreed. The story is she got extra at the end of the week. Honey was also a cheerleader at the university and popular. This employer was very connected and offered to get her very good looking people to be with if he could watch, picking up the costs and rewarding her. I ended up being one of the ones he set her up with. I got to fuck a great looking cheerleader as long as he could watch. It cost me nothing. I soon found out she would be with another cheerleader, all the time being watched only. Honey and I got closer as friends and started to date which is when I got asked to watch and participate more. To answer the question Honey didn’t get paid to have sex, she got paid to put on a show. Her partners didn’t pay, she didn’t collect money from them. We say she is a performer for an audience of one. All this time she never had sex with her employer as he stayed faithful to his ill wife to the day she died.

Not so much eating another man's cum out of her but I absolutely love creampie fucking. The feeling of slipping my cock into her hot creamy cunt is fantastic!

Just recently we began friendships with two other couples. We eventually discovered that one couple were veteran swingers of 4 years and the other couple recently had their first couple of experiences, which includedbeing with our mutual couple friends. My wife and i have been talking about getting into the life style for about 2 years so this presented an opportunity. My wife has always been the driving force behind swinging, i was never against it, but also wasn't hunting for it. I just wanted my wife to have a good time and for us to share this experience together. We had a mild buildup with our friends, mostly flirting, but nothing of a soft swap nature, but we still managed to come to an arrangement to have a six way orgy as our first time swinging experience. In retrospect, probably not the best idea for a first time. We all got a hotel together, one big play room and individual rooms for couples to retire to at the end of the night (thank God we did that). My wife ended up having a great time, primarily with the male veteran of the group. I, in the other hand, was unable to RISE to the occasion. My wife is a very vocal, active lover, so i of course heard her audible enjoyment, but the other 2 females of the group are more quiet and passive in their participation, so i had a hard time knowing if they enjoyed the alternative sex acts i was performing throughout the night. This lack of positive reinforcement only added to my performance anxiety, leading to me eventually spending more time on the "bench" than participating. This was a big problem for me as a dominant alpha male (i know, get over myself). Unbeknownst to me at the time, all the guys had a hard time getting UP. The veteran even had difficult times - my wife was barely penatrated, but still had a great time. At the end of the night, my wife's experience was categorized by butterflies, excitement, and euphoria. Mine was categorized by embarrassment, shame, jealousy, and a complete drop in confidence. A few days After the experience, the group had a talk about what we thought went well and what we would like to improve moving forward. Wife and i discussed maybe next time just a good old fashioned 4 way would be better (no duh lol). The veteran male was very kind sharing his own experiences with performance failures and the women didn't make our lack of erections a big deal, so it helped, but I'm still in a slump. I'm having trouble sorting and processing my feelings about the whole thing. My wife has been patient and reassuring, but is starting to get frustrated at my negatively and misplaced jealousy of the veteran. I'm creating a self fulfilling prophecy of future performance failure. So far the recommendations have been "don't think about it, mantra positive thoughts only". Easier said than done. In the future we'll try starting with our life partners to get us UP, then transition to playmates. THE BIGGEST ISSUE i think is that my wife and i are on very different wavelengths - she is excited and ready to go again, i am afraid and jealous that she is having such a positive and I'm not. Yes i know i should be happy that she's excited and having a good time, which i am, but it's not changing my resentment. It's been about 6 days since the experience and i feel like I'm pulling away from my wife, but i can't narrow down the root of my problem. I do want to try again bc i don't want to make permanent decisions on the lifestyle based on my first, negative experience, but I'm very nervous that next time will be a repeat and my wife will be highly pleased by the veteran male, and I'll be left in the dust again. Any similar experiences or advice would be appreciated.

Many years ago I had a friend in college, a very good friend, who always had money. I had taken jobs at minimum wage and some waitressing. I still had to ask my parents for money. My friend had enough that she would buy the pizza and sometimes beer. I found out she worked at a gentleman’s club. She told me it was easy money and could make a thousand on a good night. No real physical contact just dances. When I asked if she thought I could try it she admitted that guys touched and she would jerk guys off in the VIP room. Then she said there is even more money if you went to the motel in the back. She said not every girl does that. I finally gave in and tried it. The men were mostly sleeze bags. You would dance and try to get lap dances and then VIP room guys. Guys grab you and you would grind on them. Even the nice ones were nasty. I never went back.