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The only genuine 'playing alone' female I've ever run into was a Tinder match. It was Thursday night. We met in a hotel bar, I had a club soda and bought her a Moscow Mule, then she texted her boyfriend that it was going ahead. I took about 15 minutes of video of 30 minutes of action for her boyfriend to enjoy later. Mrs. E gets solicited by coworkers, jogging, by strangers if I leave her alone on a sidewalk for 10 minutes, by 17-year-olds who should know better. Her Tinder profile gives her 100+ swipes to screen more days than not, mine delivers 1-3. My point is that there are lots of liars, no doubt at all, but I'm also guessing that in couples that are open to playing alone where the wife does actively seek it out, she probably doesn't see the need in using SLS to find what she wants. The dynamic is so lopsided it's funny.

We often see profiles online of couples that say they play together and alone! We don’t think there is anything wrong with this although it is not our thing at all. Problem we have is in the ten plus years we have been online we have never once been messaged by the female half of any of these so called open couples. We do however get messages from the male half all the time even though on our profile we state clearly that if you are in an open relationship we are not interested in playing with the male alone. If we want another male there is more then enough single guys out there willing and able. We honestly do not believe most of the guys saying they are in an open relationship are being honest or that their wife is actually playing on her own. Most of the time there will be tons of pics of their wife and either few, none or just cock pics of the guy. Honestly if we actually meet a couple in person and the guy was actually in decent shape and someone she was attracted to we might consider having him join us alone, but just through online interactions it is not going to happen.

Somehow I find stories of couples who started out in a swirl of sexual nonmonogamy, found one another, fell in love, and got married to be very romantic and touching. Continuing on a sexual exploration makes it even more so. And that was even before it happened to me.

The only way we are playing with just male half of a couple is if we have met and played with the other couple first. Then, if that wife gives her hubby a hall pass - maybe we will play with him alone. This happened some years ago. We played with a couple and had a great experience so we arranged a follow-up date. They called at the last minute, they lost their babysitter and said only one of them can come to play - who would we like? We said 'surprise us'. We had a great time with the hubs...

Missus Enhancer choices the people she will and will not have sex with and she is picky! She would not be impressed at all if I brought some random dude home expecting her to have sex with. Good luck.

I've mentioned it before, but a big discrepancy in our vision for this was whether we'd find a stranger to test the waters with or bring in someone we knew well in vanilla life. I was strongly in the "stunt cock" camp, she much preferred to blow someone we knew. She is a trusting person, where I felt that was an invitation to ongoing drama in our circle of friends, versus someone we could meet in a hotel setting and delete forever if need be. Simultaneously, she was getting back in touch with an old friend from a much earlier stage of her life. She and her husband from that time had since moved out west and then split up, but had had a child together, stayed in touch, and eventually resumed their sex life living separately. One day, in the course of gossip, her old friend clarified that they were not exclusive, and that sometimes they now played together with others. Mrs. E, a little scandalized, had questions and let it slip that I was encouraging her to try the same thing. She knew them. She thought the ex-husband was attractive. They had experience with this and were unlikely to make it weird. This was ticking a lot of boxes. That started a long process of kicking the idea around that eventually led to us being invited to their house to hang out with a third couple by the pool, and me watching Mrs. E suck off her ex-husband. As it turned out, the ex-husband used to have a terrible hard-on for Mrs. E when she used to babysit their kid, and to say this was a fantasy of his too was a big understatement. We went into it hesitantly, with a hard boundary on soft swap for the night and knowing we might just have to leave, but we liked it enough that we ended up doing her first spitroast a couple hours later that night, me behind her while she went down on the other husband, the first time she'd ever given a man head the same day she met them. I think if it weren't for that series of events, we might still just be talking about it.

We effectively started with an open relationship. We were friends, I was attracted and trying to do my thing, but she was very intimidated by the idea of casual sex and thought getting involved with me, knowing what I was up to as a single guy, would be too radical. Eventually, nature took its course, but it took some time to transition to a committed relationship. So during that time, we were both transparent that we were dating and fucking other people. So a few years of monogamy later, she was giving me head and I mentioned how hot I thought it would be to watch to suck another cock. She was surprised and a little confused but kept going with the fantasy until I came, then we didn't mention it again. About a week later we were coming back from groceries and when I pulled into the driveway, she paused and started asking questions. "So what would that be like, that fantasy you mentioned? Like someone we know or a stranger? Is it like a big porn dick in your imagination? I think I could probably get into this." It took a couple more years of talking, testing boundaries, and a very fortunate coincidence before it happened.

I wouldn't recommend 'surprising' her with another man...you and the other man might be the ones getting surprised! I would just talk with her and ask her if she is interested in trying a MFM again.

An insightful remark on several accounts. 1. Someone has to have the idea first. The other member of the couple has to warm to it. Then the toe goes into the water. 2. What happens next is almost always the product of "what actually happened" and then the debrief over the next few days. 3. While the actual proportion is likely different in different situations, sustained friendships among LS couples seems to depend strongly on whether the ladies (a) like each other and (b) find common ground in their vanilla interests and lives. Both of those are good things, but sometimes the importance of that component of the LS is underrecognized and undervalued. 4. Travel "to" and travel "with" other couples seems to evolve as a priority. Looking forward to those visits/travels, making plans, and so on--setting aside time for the pleasure of each others' company --is rarely discussed yet is for us an unexpected joy.

Reading this thread, I felt like I already responded to it, but apparently not. Maybe I told you this story elsewhere, OP, but your fact pattern here is very similar to another ongoing play relationship we've had. A few years back, a friend and neighbor in Mrs. E's personal life went through a divorce and spent some time exploring things she'd missed. She met a guy she really liked for regular casual sex, and at one point, approached Mrs. E fishing around if she had any thoughts on FMF threesomes. It gradually came together that she'd never done it and wanted to arrange one for the guy she liked as a treat. We liked the idea and Mrs. E suggested a trade, which she was game for, but asked about it here and got some good advice to be careful. I think that was smart, these were untested waters with a vanilla person. We ended up declining, but she wanted to try with us anyway now that she'd gotten it into her head to see what it was like. We went with that, then did it some more. Mrs. E was having fun with her friend and kind of enjoying the role of loaning me out. We more or less ended up in the neighbor's date night rotation of partners. Eventually, though, the opportunity came up again to reciprocate, make it a birthday surprise for him, and this time we went through with it, now that we knew her more intimately and had built up some trust. The agreed condition was the opposite, though, that I wanted to know everything that happened in detail when she came back. Boy, did I get the details.

You are the one who knows your wife well. How would she take to having you bringing her some man for sex? Would it be someone she had sex with before and enjoyed? Or at least expressed a sexual fantasy interest in? If it were to be a stranger, is that something she really likes? Even if she enjoyed picking up strangers in the past, she might not like who you choose. If I were you, I would involve her first, ask if she would like you to arrange a surprise MFM. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

Amy always did Missionary till she discovered that riding on top gave her ten times the pleasure. She always orgasms with this position.

Long ago I had a girlfriend who wouldn't do doggy because it made her "feel like a cow". I said ok, try mooing. She didn't laugh. The interesting thing was that she did like anal play during intercourse, just slip a finger in. She would also let me put my dick in her ass, which was a little difficult, but not impossible, from the front.

A view from the other, my wife's, side. Before we met and my wife was single, she had relationships with plenty of married men. Daniela preferred that for a number of reasons: a married man had already been pre-approved by some woman; she liked sampling and exploring what other women had; the relationship was self-limited; Daniela was looking for a relationship but not marriage or father for a baby; despite exchanging I love you's, men did not leave their wives; she liked being the "other woman" because it made her the person of the three having the most control. She met almost all of the wives. If there wasn't an excuse for the three of them to be together, she would have the guy tell her when the wife would be somewhere, like a coffeeshop on a Saturday morning. (If he hesitated, she would threaten to cut him off, it always worked.) Daniela would then show up and engage her in a conversation. It always went well and the wife would go home to tell him about the lovely woman she had met. One guy who was a professional colleague of Daniela, not a coworker, his wife engage Daniela in a pleasant conversation at a conference. She did mention in the middle of the conversation that Daniela must have a "golden pussy" because her husband like Daniela so much. She said no, it's just the technique and the conversation went on and they went to dinner alone, without her husband. Daniela said that she never ruined a marriage, but she fixed quite a few. As you can tell, we talked about our sexual pasts (and fantasies) a lot. There were only three rules that I set when we started in the lifestyle by Daniela playing alone: everyone knows what's going on, including that the other guy knew that I knew; her outside sex supplemented and did not replace our sex (no problem there); and NO MARRIED MEN unless the wife knew. We had a number of dinners with single guys and couples at least several days before any play took place.

I agree, but one thing not mentioned is how being second or so in line, whether it's my wife or another guy's, is watching the show before I cum. If I am the first one to drop a load into a woman, watching her afterwards is not as exciting to me as watching before I get in there and cum. All that anticipation.

Sometimes I think your posts are a little harsh, but I do think you're correct on this one. We can never really know what somebody's story is behind-the-scenes on an internet forum. Sometimes "what to do" posts - in all genres, not just swinging - are more like cries for help. Some other times, the person writing simply wants to tell a version of the story where they seem the most sympathetic, without their spouse around to tell a different version. However, all of these elements are in the story. The communication difficulties between them seem real. One of the little hurdles we had to negotiate the first time we started doing regular FMF was the reality of male physiology. Mrs. E. tends to have an orgasm whenever a man finishes inside her. It's the anticipation of the ejaculation that gets her excited and then she usually climaxes again when the male does. She also almost never orgasms from oral or fingering, and can turn into Veruca Salt if she gets penetrated but doesn't get off. Metaphorically stamping her feet, "don't care how, I want it now." There were a couple of sessions where she got frustrated because she didn't get that release when I finished with the other woman. There was a little mental rewiring that went on to think of my hard-ons with an abundance mentality: wait a couple hours, we'll go again. It doesn't have to be "THE" one official session, right now. It's the same with failing to achieve an erection. Relaxing, recognizing that there will be other sessions, etc., can take some of the performance anxiety off. So can 5mg of tadalafil, or if you're really worried, 5mg the night before and 5mg the morning of. What I can't parse out is how much OP really wants to get over it, versus this being a coded way of saying he really doesn't think he likes this. Unrelated, but I'm also just going to put it out there that in recent months, there seems to be a much higher volume of posts in which people describe a bad swinging experience with troubled dynamics underneath. I've posted here for a very long time and while people sometimes used to write about bad experiences, this particular fact pattern used to come up once a season, if that, and is now coming up like clockwork from new accounts. Maybe there's a new wave of people trying swinging post-pandemic, I'm not leveling an accusation here, it's just very odd.

There was topic the other day about what to do with all there swinging photos/videos. Well this past Christmas holiday my husband got himself a new computer, he follow the basic installation. while installing he installed OneDrive. A few days later our daughter saw a new icon on her laptop with the OneDrive icon and saw us in one of are "parties" from 2016. Hubby didn't realize he put it in shared mode. She kinda freak out and call us to her room and explain ourselves and what we are doing. At that point since the cat is out of the bag, we told her the truth and about us and our lifestyle and what we have done. She was asking us a whole lot of questions and we were honest to all her questions. During all this confession, our daughter told us that she is bi too, only since June 2021, and told us her first time happen in a foursome with her ex bf at the time and her bff and her bf in a after school prom party. During the Covid lock down she felt bored and wishes to try new stuff. So with her friends and all four agree to try something new and try the foursome. She told us that she like the experience and she and them continued to have experience with three and four some till my daughter broke up with her bf ( for other reason) and she continued to have threesome with her bff and bf ever once and a while. Recently she ask us that she wanted to try it and become a swinger and see what it was like. She ask us if it ok with us to take her to 1 of our local clubs for her 19 birthday in March (legal age where we are from) and (if there no other delay in opening thing open up). It was something we did not expect to be ask from her. I was speechless for the first time in a long time. I did not know how to answer her. I know I need to give her answer soon. I know I can not keep dodging the question and I need to answer her soon. We haven't told any of our swingers friends about her and her request . She the oldest of all our swingers friends who have kids. We never really talk about it, our kids life, We do not know if any of our swingers friends haved shared their personal life to there own kids. We know our daughter is adult, gonna be 19 in March, old enough to make her own choices in life. We trust her judgment. If we do not give her our blessing we don't how she will react, she might go off and go own her own without any real knowledge of the people she hang out with. And if we do give our blessings we know that she will be safe with people and places that we know and we can give her the best advice we can. We are aware that if we do give our blessings there a good chance that she might be "playing" with are swingers friends. And we are ok with that. It all part of the Swinger lifestyle. Different people, different ages, everyone there having a good time. Our question to you all is, how do we proceed, do we give her our blessings or not. Any parents here that had similar situation happen to them. And any people here who has swingers parents ? what was it like knowing that your parents were swingers. What was it like knowing the truth about them. Thank you for your time in reading this long text. And thanks in advance for the replies.

Hiya all, sorry for the long delay for a update, For people that are curious about what happen. We took our daughter to her first swinger club party last week. It went very well. she seems to enjoyed herself,. We made sure that her first time going, she just goes there and talk and get used of her surroundings. It was also our first time going back to the club since COVID started, Feb 2020. It was nice to see the old gang. Many new faces as well. Many were quite surprised to see that we brought are daughter to the club. Many ask our permission " to play" with her and to see if were ok with it. We told them, if she wanted to, she old enough to make her choice. We went again the following day. This time we left her to her own accord. Again she seem to enjoyed herself. The following few day we left her to her own accord and left her to enjoy herself. She went to some of special events of the club, that she was interested in. That all for now. If people what more information about it, just ask. Just we wont share intimate details about it. Talk to you all soon. bye-bye

Thanks for your input, it help. Since are last message here there has been more talk with her. We told 4 of are swingers friends (2couple) ( 1 couple whos both age 40 and the other is 42F and 49M) about our daughter. It went surprisingly well. They meet our daughter. Not all at the same time, different dates and meets. We all sat down and talk and answer her questions and gave her more advice and more of the Do's and Don't . After the talk I was surprise that it was the older female that approach me and ask my permission if it was ok " to play". I told her if my daughter want to , then its ok with me. I thought for sure it would be the guys that would of ask first. Haven't told my daughter about the request yet. Should we?? This is her last weekend before she turn 19. Her place is reserved for her first visit. We are still afraid that we could of said the wrong thing to her. But all we can do is hope for the best and we said the right thing to her. Again, thank you all for your time and help

Same here, close friends >12 years now. They asked us. Took my wife probably 6 months after that point to finally agree but patience is key. We started a private group chat among us, where everyone was encouraged to speak freely. The girls talked more in depth over DM, versus in person. Over that time EVERYTHING was discussed. Just took my wife time. I supported and encouraged her the whole time. One day it finally happen. Best night. 4 1/2 later, we’re all still playing.

Our friends brought it up. We knew they were swingers and always invited us to join. We laughed it off as a joke until the joke became reality. I think because it was friends it made the first time easier, not easy. I admit it was fun, Debbie will admit it now too even though I could tell she was having fun the second and third time. When our friends invited a third couple, Debbie was unsure and then gave her approval. I think our first thoughts were unfounded that swingers were a type. When we were finally alone afterwards she did say it was plenty of fun. At this point we will wait for trips to our friends for any more fun.

My husband originally brought up his "hotwife" fantasy. Asking me to flirt, seduce and sleep with another man. I was pretty reluctant in the beginning but eventually met a guy that really did it for me and I gave my husband his fantasy. It surprised me how well it went for both of us so I started being open to opportunities when they arose. A year after I got downright aggressive about my hookups. I was the one that ended up opening the door to full swaps, my husband was eager to do it, and within a month we had our first full swap. Currently we have a couple that are close friends that we swap with frequently, we also have another two couples we can play with.

We met a group of swingers on a Carribean vacation when we were in our thirties. We were not ready for It, but it piqued our interest. Went to a local club, not ready. Went to Desire, dabbled. Went to Trapeze, played. Went to hotel parties, house parties, cruises. Have a lot of varied and fun experiences. More the male’s idea. My wife is very in shape and attractive. In great demand.

When my wife was 22 and I was 23, we moved into our first home. It was on a dead end street with just our house and one across the street where a 44 year old 6'7 handsome single black man lived. We lived there for 5 years and moved to another part of town. Three years after we moved my wife confessed to having an affair with this man and his buddies for those five years. She had felt so guilty and wanted to tell me about it but knew it would hurt me so she kept it a secret until he found us and wanted to continue the affair. She didn't want to and told him so but he was insisting and that is when she decided to tell me, get it out in the open. The truth is I wanted to watch her have sex with other men but afraid to tell her. So, what hurt me was I didn't get to watch. I told her this that day and we kept talking about it for months and a friend of mine who was into cuckolding with his wife agreed to help us get started and he came over, I watched them, wife liked it and so here we are today, swingers 46 years later.

It was my, Petra's (F), idea; or I just sort of slid into it. I started a relationship with a new guy, who later became my husband, while still fucking my ex-fiance. Hubby-to-be was fine with it, my ex had no choice if he wanted to keep seeing me. But he turned out to be happy with the arrangement as well. Other girls came later - and that was my idea too.

My wife and I got into swinging in the late seventies. Even back then, I can remember one guy who was bisexual, admitted it, and was accepted. But, other than him, I don't think any of the husbands were, or would admit it. I've noticed, over the years that I've frequented this great site, that it seems more and more people are becoming more and more accepting of male bisexuality in the lifestyle. Is the lifestyle evolving? And, I've given it some thought to a personal perspective too. OK, like most of the men here, I've never seen a man who gave my groin that little twitch that seeing a hot lady does. Hey, that's my definition of straight! LOL! But I do remember when, at around 12, me and a friend decided to see what a hand, other than our own, would feel like on our cocks. And, how surprised, confused, and just totally 'homophobified' I was when I realized that his cock in my hand felt just as good as my cock in his hand! Years later I let a guy attend to me out of, more need, than desire. Wasn't bad but not something I did again anytime soon. More years and I actually tried it myself and found that it wasn't bad at all. Well, now I'm in my sixties. I'm very happily married and would never want to not be. But, if I liked a guy, sure, I'd play with him as long as he wasn't gay. And, the reason for him not being gay is solely for avoidance of drama. So, I guess I've evolved over time too! Anyone else have a similar evolution?

Laura and I talked about the concept on our second date when we agreed that spending a lifetime "cleaving only unto each other," didn't seem all that practical.

It was her to bring it up first. We had only been dating about a month when she turned to me after sex and asked if I would be interested in including others. At that time I looked at her and asked if she meant "swinging" and she said sort of. That's when I brought it up that my ex and I swung for about five years and she said "really?". I said I needed to have some time to consider this as part of the relationship and after a few days said let's try it. That was about seven months ago now and we are having the best time together enjoying our "kayaking" time. Kayaking is the code word we use when talking about swinging in front of our vanilla friends. Oh, and we don't own kayaks together yet.

We saw a local news story about a swingers club on South Street in Philly. We thought it would be fun to check out. Before we went to the one in Philly, we found TJ's, just northwest of Harrisburg. Went there first "to look". At the end of the evening where all we did was look, Mrs Doc turned to me in the parking lot and said, "that was fun honey, can we come back tomorrow"? That was in 2003.

My wife first made the suggestion. She had seen Oprah interview married couples on TV who are swingers. The key point, as she told me while making her suggestion, was that her perception of swingers and swinging might have been inaccurate. The people interviewed were not members of the Jet Set but rather people just like her and like me. Sounded good to her so she wanted to see if I was willing and if it was something suitable for us. That was eleven years ago.

Hello EB, Since you are in Western Florida, I would recommend you go to any of the clubs just north of Tampa. There are several. I have been to Paradise Lake. Get naked and join people in the hot tub. You will meet many people and just thru chatting you will find people to explore with. The bartender and desk lady will help you if you let them know, "we are new and a bi cur couple looking for others..." I have asked if they know the background on people and they are focused on ensuring you find a good match. Good luck, Marc

We are both bi-sexual so I sympathize with your situation. Like other posters said, you are unlikely to find what you want at a public swinger club. We were very fortunate that a few years ago a local couple responded to our online profile and invited us to a private party that they hosted for bi-couples only (and those who don't mind the presence of bisexual activities). We became regulars ever since. Besides the other great suggestions already posted, I say go out to clubs and what not and meet people. It doesn't sound like you are against straight swinging, so have fun and you may meet a like-minded couple when you least expect it. If you take a look at the other posts on this topic, there are several forms of bi when it comes to men. Not sure what you are into, but some are easier to find partners than others. As an example, finding a male half of a couple to receive oral sex from your husband is definitely way easier than finding another guy to take it up the behind. So I think it's good to sort out how bi-curious you are.

My recomendation would be to use one or more of the swinger sites that leans to connecting local couples. Some sites are more for event connections or travelers. If you search habitually on the same sites you can learn to read what the profiles are really saying. I'd also recommend a site with discussion forums. I've had better luck on those. It seems folks are looking at what I write & getting interested. I'm certainly learning a lot more about the people who post comments on the discussions than those with only some brief profiles. I have been suprised by the number of propositions from "STRAIGHT" male halves of couples to me the Bi single male. It seems a lot of those husbands have skills & interests they do not brag about in their profiles. Also have had some straight claiming couples ask if I had a bi buddy who could join me playing with the wife while hubby watched. Hmmm...

You are not alone with the all bi-sexual fantasy/reality. It is a little more tricky than just female bi-sexual, or straight partner swap. However it is definitely possible to make it a reality. I think there is a certain segment of Swingers that are into it, and are more quiet about their desires than others. I and other members of the board will be more than happy to share our experiences and give as much help as we can. Just let us know what your questions are? Honestly a lot of what applies to standard swinging applies to the all bisexual world as well. Most importantly enjoy your search and the whole experience.

I can't tell you 100% that the lifestyle is evolving, but I would put money on it. As with most things in life everything evolves and changes and swinging is no different. I can tell you, after being on this board for a LOT of years, that the acceptance of bi-male sexuality topics has definitely improved. Years ago when a topic of male bisexuality was brought up it didn't go well at all. There were few who could discuss it in a friendly manner and/or felt that bisexual males had any place in swinging. Now, a male bisexuality thread is a lot more accepted and not so much out of the norm and bi-males seem to generally be a bit more accepted in swinging as well (or it seems that way to us). I do know for us, when we first started swinging, hearing about or knowing of a man that was bi wasn't something that happened. Now, it doesn't seem to be that big of a deal. Of course the number people we know has increased and the number of different groups we hang out with has increased so it would make since that we know bi-men and hear about a lot more. But, even when we hang with the very first group of people we met in swinging, they too aren't as hung-up on male bisexuality now as they once seemed to be. Like SAM said, we're now at a point in our lives that regardless of your gender or sexuality, if we like you and you like us lets party and have a good time in whatever combination works. Teresa