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The leprechaun with the pot of gold is first on our list... 😉

Lent? People borrow your wife? Heck if I ever used that expression she would most likely kick my ass out of the bed or worse.

Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Unicorns, Loch Ness Monster All live in our minds as mythical beings and then things changed. The first to go was Unicorn, something I was told didn’t exist which was reinforced in a sexual reference when we could find a woman to play with us. Then I became a Unicorn. I joined a new friend and her husband for a day of sexual play that did away with the Unicorn myth. Just so nobody makes a comment my husband was fully aware of my play. That same friend made me believe the Loch Ness Monster exists, she has a male friend she calls Nessy that she and another friend found on some sex hook up site. The picture he posted, she showed me, showed his Monster in all its glory. My first reaction was that the picture like all the other Loch Ness pictures were fake. She assured me that Nessy existed and invited me to see and enjoy it with her. I had only heard or read about men like Nessy, some of those stories on here, and never had any desire to be with anyone or thing like that. My first reaction that it was a painful thing not a pleasure. Now I’m a believer, Nessy exists and I have seen the monster get excited and stiffen his neck and shoot his venom. Starting to change my thoughts on Santa Clause and Easter Bunny

Swinging to save a marriage or relationship never works since swinging is a magnifying glass. If there are problems it will only make them bigger and usually it will burn...obviously since she is now with you and (I'm assuming) no longer married. Start with telling her what you just posted here and have a long talk about it, but until you have a rock solid relationship built on trust, love and open communication, I wouldn't go forward with thinking about swinging. There is actually a rather fine line between swinging and cheating and it sounds like she either ignores that line or doesn't know where it is. I keep starting to say something then stop...I really don't think you should be considering swinging until you have absolute trust in each other and until you do, just say no.

Actually, the difficulty of measuring positive vs. negative reactions made me think of the New York Magazine quote after Nelson Rockefeller died at age 70, banging his 25-year-old secretary: He thought he was coming. Turned out, he was actually going.

Thoughts...? Lol... Did you read the study? Caveat emptor. Buyer beware. This is junk science. The authors attempt to make a 1:1 correlation between pupil dilation and sexual excitement. This is preposterous. Pupil dilation does indicate excitement. But, it does not necessarily indicate sexual excitement. Watch a scary movie, and your pupils will dilate. Watch an exciting action movie, and your pupils will dilate. Watch a sad movie with a tragic ending, and your pupils will dilate. Whenever we get angry, our pupils dilate. Whenever we are startled, our pupils dilate. Pupil dilation by itself is NOT an indication of sexual excitement or arousal. In contrast to this junk science, Masters and Johnson correctly measured sexual excitement and arousal where it counts--in the sex organs themselves and by observing actual sexual behavior. Lastly, this study attempts to say we are all bisexual to at least some degree. This is demonstrably false. If we were all walking around feeling bisexual, common sense would say human sexual behavior would reflect that. That is not what human behavior says. The objective observation of human sexual behavior--meaning the way we actually have sex--indicates humans are overwhelmingly heterosexual. Bisexual human behavior is, in contrast, rare, which indicates bisexual sexual arousal is likewise rare.

Our 'unicorn' has a casual long-distance boyfriend who spends the weekend with her about once a month. I've lent Mrs. E out a few times now to reciprocate, and we spent NYE with them as couples. We see her less often now that she's moved to a house in a different neighborhood, but they still go to the gym together and it's been a very good arrangement.

Good morning everyone, so my wife and I have been chatting a lot about adventuring in the lifestyle a little bit. We’re mainly curious about a mfm but we want to start slow and not rush in. We have been talking to a guy since last march. We met him a few times just to chat. This past Friday he stopped by and the 3 of us had a few drinks. I got a little handsy with my wife and pulled up her shirt showing our guest her tits. He really enjoyed, actually we all did lol. By now my wife is getting a bit flirty, and the conversation turned more sexual. We where getting ready to leave early the next morning for vacation so as my wife comes around my me, I pull up her shirt again and start rubbing and sucking on her tits, our guest asked if I needed a hand, so I signaled him in and he had one tit in his mouth and I had the other. It was pretty hot, she definitely enjoyed it. It all lasted just a short time. I wasn’t ready to go much further then that so I said we should probably get some sleep cuz we had an early day, of course my wife is getting pretty hot by all of this lol but we walked our guest out. We had some really good sex after that to say the least. I felt no jealousy except when she flirted lol. Kinda weird, but him sucking her tit, no jealousy lol. Long story short, this was our first real experience, and we enjoyed it. My wife knows and understands I want to take things a bit slower, so we both think that’s best we do that.

I always find it funny when I see a woman say that they are Bi-curious. If you have had at least 1-2 experiences with a woman, you aren't curious any more I believe. Plus, you know whether you like it or you don't. I find that some women want to receive 'pillow princess' but not give....that is fine, but that should be known ahead of time. One woman said that she has been with a woman, receiving, but that's it....but she has never tried to give ...she's not bi-curious. Thoughts?

Um... sleep. 😉 Really depends upon the particular event. Generally, because Ann is multi-orgasmic, I try to time my release to happen sometime after the seventh inning stretch, and her toes have been curling for a while. I'm fortunate that, usually, it doesn't take long for me to recover. And, maybe I'm a little different than other guys, but my second orgasm is almost always significantly more intense than my first.

Kinsey's 1948 study, and its conclusions, have been thoroughly reviewed over the decades. Both the methods, and conclusions, have been determined to be highly questionable, if not outright bogus, by many in the medical community. One large scale study conducted by researchers at Washington State University, and published in 2015 in the journal Psychological Science, concluded exactly the opposite: Human sexuality does not exist on a spectrum but rather is best described as a complex multiple choice. The study examined responses from 33,000 participants and the lead author concluded the following: "The results demonstrate that sexual orientation is not a matter of degree, but rather distinct and meaningful categories." Does some fluidity among sexual orientation exist? Yes, but the incidence is quite small. According to the study, less than 5% of heterosexual women, and only 2% of heterosexual men, said they have some level of sexual attraction to members of their same sex. Also, they found that men who reported having only "some level of sexual attraction to other men" were far more likely to identify as bisexual rather than heterosexual. The study's authors concluded by saying these findings show the dividing line between straight, and non-straight sexual orientation, is more well defined for men than it is women, but it is definitely still present for both. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797615598617

Playing separately is fine, but ONLY AFTER the two of you have reached an understanding based on mutual trust. It does not sound like you two are there yet, and quite possibly do not know each other well enough yet. This all can take time. It is time well spent. Until that time play together or not at all.

And Rockefeller departed for the pearly gates in women’s clothing. (I was at the time dating a woman who knew the woman who was with Rockefeller when he expired.)

Hotwifing without the husband's knowledge or approval is just cheating. I can have some empathy for the possibility that the marriage had failed due to the husband's behavior and that she was looking for an outlet, but I don't think she's experienced with swinging, per se, in the way you'd like. We've both played solo more than a few times now and have had great experiences, but that took years of practice and learning to negotiate one another's boundaries on a new level. GoldCoCouple is absolutely right that this aspect of the relationship is best avoided, at least for now. It sounds like she simply wants to be non-monogamous without any of the responsibility that comes with actual swinging.

We would like to start by finding a unicorn ourselves...from there we will pursue searching for the tooth fairy, bigfoot and other hard to locate creatures.

Prince Henry wears a black ring and I'm pretty sure he isn't a swinger...its a ring that monitors his activity (like a FitBit) so I wouldn't use that as an indicator either. Papas grass and white landscaping rock...nope. Tide box in the window...wouldn't count on it. There just isn't a good indicator since most swingers want to be anonymous. I've said it in the past: once a rainbow meant you liked rainbows or (if you were raised in a Christian school like I was) it was God's promise never to flood the world again after He did with Noah. Now if you see a rainbow and one thinks of the LGBTQ movement. A secret sign is only good as long as it is secret but it will never stay secret long, especially if it has anything to do with something sexual. There are a few symbols that are supposed to indicate you are a swinger, but once again, if all the swingers know, then usually others have found out too. Personally, I like this shirt:

A remarkable claim. Can you cite any anecdotal evidence in your daily interaction with men that would lead you to believe most of them are bisexual? Serious question, I'm not being flippant.

One note: As adolescents exploring our newly discovered sexuality, it is common for such experimentation to begin with members of the same sex, for the simple fact members of the same sex are usually the most accessible. It is not necessarily an indication of lifelong homosexuality or bisexuality.

This is adjacent to something I deal with professionally, and you're correct. It's actually incredibly difficult to tell if someone is under psychological stress from physiological measurements, because the way your body reacts to very good news is often indistinguishable from very bad news. House on fire? Intense stress. Winning the lottery? Intense stress.

For me, it's a good time for giving oral on either a limp dick or sloppy pussy. I like that; it excites me.

I know you asked for answers directly from women, but Mrs. E doesn't post on forums. We do, however, talk about the content on here regularly, including this. Mrs. E actually only climaxes from penetration. She *can* orgasm masturbating, and does regularly, but has to work so hard she can make herself sore. And of those who do, does the size have anything to do with your ability to have an orgasm? Or does it have to do with rhythm? Is it related to speed? Or the chemistry? Yes. The thrill of realizing her partner is about to cum will almost always push her into a series of what she describes as small orgasms in tight waves. She's very content to fuck just for those. The "big ones" are a project and require hitting the right spot, maintaining it, and ignoring her if she starts fussing that it's too intense.

This is Daniela again, I asked Al next time he was on his sex chat site to let me add to my last post. You asked "Or the chemistry?" For me, there has to be chemistry. I've never fucked or even blown a guy without having gone on at least five "dates," Al included. It's not like I'm looking for him to buy me shit, usually I pay for way more than he does. It's just that I'm not giving up my cunt for some guy that I don't think is worthy. Maybe it's a female instinct where a woman wants to make sure the guy that might get her pregnant is good both for genetics and taking care of the child. I was always on bc or had an IUD, BTW. As Al said, I used to have relationships mostly married men and saved marriages, didn't break them. I would encourage them to tell me about their wives and coax them to let me meet them under innocent circumstances. I would compliment their wives. And when they would sometimes buy me expensive shit like jewelry, I would hand it back and tell it to give it to his wife. Some single women have a dog or a cat, I'd pick up stray men. In retrospect it was a power trip for me: choosing him in the first place; paying for what we did; eating off her plate so to speak; having him tell me of his vulnerabilities, of his sex life with his wife. When he would complain about his wife not giving him blowjobs or anal, I'd tell him that's what I'm here for, that he should be going down on her. None of them divorced, even the one where she figured it out and civilly let me know by telling me that I must be a good fuck. I guess that I was, but an even better listener. Al demanded that I give up fucking married men when we got serious and married, so I did. But it's ok, now every one of the seven guys (including Al ) I fuck is married, and I get to "interact" with their wives to a degree that wasn't possible before .

I always hope that it is great, better even, for my wife. Otherwise, why go through the effort of finding other people to fuck?

Now that we here have the male side figured out, what explains female homosexuaity or bi-ness?

Yes relative to the norm, bigger and smaller. My preference to size falls into what I have always experienced, I never said someone was too anything. I’m not aware of what my friend was looking for when she met this endowed play friend or why she wanted to contact or respond him. I didn’t desire, I joined in on her fun for the fun of seeing something I never saw. Lately I have been experiencing many new things so why not this. Possibly I have a secret bucket list deep inside that I’m looking to check off. As to the great experience I would check off the experience as fun with my friend not a thing I wanted to do as much as something we did.

I've heard it said that all women are bisexual, unless you buy them something they don't get sexual.

You are not the only man that enjoys the visual of a larger penis. Part of the excitement of meeting a new random man is what we call the unveiling or me undressing a man not know what we will see. Most men are average which makes sense. When an endowed man starts to grow or is fully hard when that unveiling happens I probably react in an excited way as you said the visual is enjoyable. My husband and you enjoy the visual. The visual for him and big difference for me is going down on a bigger penis. My husband enjoys the visual of me giving oral independent of size yet larger gives more to watch penetrating sex is not much different for me. I can only suggest try different positions. For me Cowgirl gives me the most control over what feels best. Maybe she can use a small vibrator while you are in her. Oral sex stimulates the clitoris which she may not be getting from your penetration. Relax and don’t try to much.

My wife and I are both in the lifestyle. And we are both physicians. The truth is, physicians judge. They are people. But this creates an unconscious bias that may lead to poor care. We go to a sex positive clinic with a colleague of ours (who we frequently play with, but by no means does a sex positive provider need to be in the lifestyle to “get it”). she opened up a clinic in our town that caters to lifestyleers and LGBTQ community. I suggest you get your care in a similar way. There are directories now on the net listing sex positive providers in your area.

Missus Enhancer has orgasms from both oral and penetration quite easily! It is normal for her to cum up to 20 times or more in a good session! Size has no bearing on how many times she does. Quality of lover does.

When I was 24 I was at a neighborhood cookout at a friends house. One of the guests was a very attractive dark haired woman who I thought may have been close to 30. We hit it off, I was single, she was divorced, we hung out well into the evening. I asked for her number and a date and we started seeing each other regularly over the next few weeks. She wasn't easy but I finally got her into bed and it was a revelation. We dated for almost a year and she taught me so many things about being a good lover and she showed me things I'd never experienced with the 19-23 year olds I had been dating. It turns out that she was actually 42 and had a daughter in that 19-23 age bracket. I didn't actively seek her out because she was older but her age and experience made a huge difference in my life and I've never forgotten her and what she taught me.

Wife and I have been looking on and off for years for a bi male playmate, most recently to play with me while she watches. We start making contact and everything looks good and then, right as we're trying to arrange a time to meet....nothing. They seem to disappear from the face of the Earth. Usually it's when the guy expresses a kink that crosses a line for us (sex in public, recording, meeting without my wife present, etc.) but we politely refuse. Any tips on how to find a bi playmate?

Pretty much the same as me except my desire started with me allowing my husband to have sex with other women after I had a boyfriend for two years and he was monogamous. We loved dating women together, whether it led to sex or not. Now in our poly family, I am as much in love with Lora and Clair as I am with the guys. I say that I am bi, which means that I have a Lesbian side. I don't minimize it by referring to it as a "bi" side. Being bisexual means I am Lesbian and heterosexual. The most important part of my Lesbian relationships is the emotional connection that I have with Clair and Lora. The second is going down on them and licking their pussies. They reciprocate, but strictly from the physical standpoint, I can get oral on me from the guys; they're good at it. But only another woman has a pussy that I can lick, and breasts I can feel.

I have not yet had the right opportunity, so I consider myself bi-curious. It sounds like fun, but I won't know until I experienced it.

I was never curious. I never thought of playing with another female, it just happened. When a girlfriend started playing with me and I didn’t push her away. She changed my life for the better. When I questioned myself it was something I could do I answered that why shouldn’t I do something I enjoyed as long as it was legal and not hurt anybody else. My husband is still my favorite partner and I prefer him over any woman, I would say I am Bi.

Ms. Gold has, for years, insisted that she is bi-curious (even though she has a girl that is called 'her girlfriend'...and not as just in a girl friend). It was only very reciently that she was able to say that she is bisexual. That was a big hurdle for her. It's tough for most women to cross that line and admit that they are bisexual. Bi-curious is just a safer word for something that they don't want to admit to themselves.

I remember from a few years ago a lively debate in the SLS forum as to whether or not there should be a wider range of choices that would represents shades and colors of bisexuality. There were hundreds of proposed labels. I can remember only a few: situationally bi, actively bi, passively bi, and bi furious. I believe the SLS people eventually came to regret that they had opened this can of worms. In the end they said, in effect, fuck it, we're not going to change anything,

Interesting and it may be accurate to a point but they were basing arousal on porn not actual physical contact. Just as some couples fantasize about swinging but could never bring themselves to take that step into reality this theory is based in the fantasy of porn not real contact. There is something arousing about most sexual acts between consenting adults but some of them I don't actually see myself participating in. I get concerned whenever I see attempts at the degeneration of gender roles through theoretical concepts. We aren't all the same and I wish academia would stop trying to find ways to prove that we are.

I originally read this thread back when it was originally active and it made me think. After reading this thread I discussed this with my wife. You see we have a rather "complicated" relationship with our doctor. Yes OUR doctor. We share the same doctor, but we also share the same church with the doctor and we are also very good friends with her. We mutually came to the agreement that we would tell our doctor during our last physical, which occurred about a month ago. We were supposed to have our physicals together like last year, but instead ended up having them on the same day a few hours apart. We had agreed that I would be the one to tell her. When I was alone in the room with the Doctor and she was going thru the usual questions about your health etc, she was coming to the end of the process and when she asked if there was anything else, I became very serious and just to make sure she understood that things were fixing to get serious asked her, "I believe it is very important for my doctor to know about anything in my life that could affect my health, would you agree?" Of course she said yes, "so anything we talk about here will stay in this room and you can't tell anyone else?" A little taken aback by the change in tone, said, "yes that's right." And then I asked her if she could leave it out of her notes. She then said that I might have to remind her of it in about 5 years because she would probably forget it. She was wrong. I then told her that we were involved in the "Swinging Lifestyle, do you know what that is? She then said, "think I do, but could you help me be sure." I told her it was partner swapping, then went on to tell her we always practice safe sex with condoms. (A little bit of a fib, we generally don't for oral) This relaxed her a good bit and then we went on to discuss the importance of practicing safe sex which I agree completely with and we discussed us going to the local heath clinic and getting STD screening a couple times a year and she seemed to be much more comfortable after understanding that we actually did kinda "know what we were doing." After the fact we are both very comfortable that we told her and would only have done this in that exact setting with the full knowledge that it was in her official capacity. I guess this just goes to show that some of these very thoughtful conversations on this board can actually affect people's actions.

I have told my primary doc and my gyn that I/we participate in responsible non-monogamy. We discuss the risks and preventative measures needed and do testing accordingly on a schedule. My doctor needs to treat my lifestyle, not judge it.

My doctor knows of my lifestyle. The more information a doctor has about you, the better he or she can alert you to health risks and treat any symptoms you may have. It's more than just a matter of STDs. I can't speak for other countries, but the U.S. has very strict medical privacy laws. A good doctor will not judge you, and I got a feeling doctors have heard or seen worse things that swingers. Now whether a male or female doctor is better, that's your preference. It's whatever you are most comfortable with.

My wife and I believe that giving physicians and other medical care professionals complete information is in our interest. They are able to figure out things that we are not equipped to figure out.

Concealing health information from your physician makes no sense. Your communications and for that matter your medical records are protected by privacy laws. You might be embarrassed by your sexual behavior. Your doctor is not. Your doctor's interest is to protect your health. S/he cannot help you manage health risk unless you acknowledge the risk. You will not be judged. Physician gender does not bear on acceptance. If you are uncomfortable speaking with your doctor, write it down and hand them a note. If you are uncomfortable communicating openly with your doctor, find another doctor.

My family doctor and gynecologist know. Medical records are protected by law and can not be accessed by employers, divorce courts, traffic courts or randomly by child protective services professionals. The best way to get appropriate care is for your doctor to know your risks.

We met our doctor at a party years ago. He examines my wife quite frequently.

I had fooled around a bit with boys in high school - guys that played sports knew that to hang around the locker room after others had gone home meant you wanted to play. When I went to the Naval academy, I had several boyfriends. I found that a lot of that activity was considered normal and mostly ignored. I also had many sexual relationships with girls and enjoyed both. My parents were very conservative Catholics and would have been totally shocked if they had known. I didn't tell my wife (also a Catholic girl) until after we married but to my surprise, she was very receptive and was anxious to incorporate it into our swinging. Our son is also bi and we support him totally. It has worked well for us - brought us closer as a couple.

Hi there, im Daryl and I have done this a couple times and each time I did it I was with someone where we enjoyed each other during the swinging plus enjoyed the other couple. We never did anything without the other person. That was just a given of what we had. Well I now have a girlfriend who has been in the lifestyle for many years and she was married and only did this to try to save the marriage. Well the husband only wanted to swing with her and not alone and would not want her to do the same. She told me that when they swing most of the time no woman would want to have sex with him and he was getting depressed. So then other couples just was contacting her to swing and she would go without the husbands approval. My question is how do I tell her I only want to swing with her there and that’s it. I want to watch her and also want to make her have Orgasms. She also just loves woman but again I want to be there to watch and maybe join in and please her. But her face and what she said and what she said is she doesn’t know if she would like that. So my question for you guys that has years of this. Do you let your wife or gf swing without you? And what would you do in my situation?