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Our first entry into the lifestyle was on a cruise and we have embraced our new found awakening. We talked with our friends about going on a Bliss cruise or a similar lifestyle vacation for the last few years but I was not as supportive of it as I enjoy a more one on one approach. I pushed for a European cruise that was a mainstream vacation and suggested we get cabins together and make our own parties. We were going to go with our friends we met on that first cruise then found out another couple we met before at our friends and a fourth couple we never met wanted to join. We flew to Europe from our airport the others flew together and met us at the cruise. Jet lag set in for me and the others that first day, it was suggested that we would all get a good night sleep. We found out two of our travel friends did some playing without us. Next day was a sea day and was perfect for enjoying the pool and the bar where we quietly made plans on how we can play at night. Our cabins were all the same, too small for 8 of us to play, something I was happy for because I’m not a group sex type. I laughed along with the others about being in Greece and the when in Greece do as the Greeks. I was happy when it was suggested that we pick straws for who would be with who that night. We being the couple that was new to the couple we just met he suggested we get to be the first night play. Touring the next few nights and enjoying all a cruise offers we had plenty of laughs and other younger cruisers were enjoying our laughs and joined our little group without knowing our night time sleeping arrangements. We kept talking about going to the nude beach later in the week inviting our new friends to join us. One of the couples decided to join us, I think they had an idea that we were switching cabins at night. I was half jokingly asked who I was sleeping with which I answered that I slept with everyone. After nude beach day we now added to our nighttime group, and we still half the trip to go. That night I stepped out of my comfort zone and joined our new friends while my husband joined other friends. I even surprised myself opening up and losing some inhibitions in the fun of the cruise. It’s funny how drinks, parties and Mediterranean cruise changes you. Before anyone asks, the friends we just met were not new to the lifestyle and didn’t expect to meet anyone on this cruise.

Don’t let others get in your head! She followed the rules you and her set up therefore she thought about what she did with the biggest worry you not approving. She is experimenting that’s it. Nobody is turning her bisexual or taking her away from you. Enjoy that she liked it.

We are very new here but this post is the truth because trust is the first and only thing before you can agree to sex with others.

I won’t lie, being wanted and desired by them was a huge ego boost. Not unlike our first partners our initial discussion happened at a nude beach with nothing to hide any body flaws they made the first discussion about joining them. Our group had our plans already set so I had to have everyone else give the thumbs up on my invitation. They all know my usual want of alone with one partner and my shying away from being a third. My husband thought it would be good for me and it was a great night.

We make our own fun with the friends we have and would take a vacation with those friends. Unless you are looking to make new connections it sounds like you had a perfect trip and did make a new connection. I’m going to suggest a cruise to our group.

It is implied that both parties trust the other to make right decisions which includes LETTING the spouse play. We don’t possess the other, we trust.

That is very generous, loving and mature of you. Just tell your wife that. She's enjoying herself and you're ok with the way it's going, so no need to fret. Move at your own pace. I like fucking other women, but knowing & watching my wife enjoy herself is great too. Nothing wrong with it. You should. In all our group everyone sees their wives fucking other guys and enjoying it. There isn't one bit of degradation or humiliation in any of it. I would say it is all a celebration of life. And with agreement between spouses it may be that they both swing differently. There is no need for spouses to be mirror images of each other in swinging or to expect reciprocity. The best thing for us in starting in the lifestyle was for my wife to start (with ex-boyfriends) while I remained monogamous.

To me the decision does not sound like a difficult one.

Let? I don’t think men let or allow a wife to do something. You may not be happy with her choices, it is her choice, something she may ask you for an opinion. I don’t understand the worries if you trust her.

Keeping in mind all the opinions given are more to open a discussion and to openly communicate. All thoughts and opinions on any topic most always reflects the experiences, exposure to and even insecurities of those expressing them. In the end it really only has to involve you and your wife, what either of you have for desires, expectations, how secure or insecure either of you are. The problem with rules are the always run the risk of being broken or stretched. It really comes down to you both having a number of very open, frank and honest conversations concerning this. what is good and works well for one couple (or single) is not necessarily going to work for another.

I have to guess by the fact your asking for advice that you might be uncomfortable with the fact she did this, then told you instead of the other way around. Not giving you veto ability or any say in what happens is probably not what you had in mind. I would have a very frank conversation about what you asked for versus what she did. You were clear about two simple rules. I want to know it’s going to happen and I want the OP to know your married. Your request are very generous and very reasonable, if only for her safety. I would tell her if she cannot respect your very reasonable requests than you will resend your permission. My guess is she will understand your concerns and be sure your aware in advance from now on. Best of luck

If you don’t trust your wife you have more problems, leaving you for another woman is the least. You told her she can, she did and she told you. Sounds like a keeper.

As already pointed out, only the two of you really know each other here. Ms. Gold likes to be able to explore the occasional other woman, but she has made it crystal clear that she would never choose another woman as long as men still existed on the planet. Knowing this, I wouldn't have a problem having her do the same thing your wife did. It sounds like this was fairly spontaneous, making it kind of difficult to contact you before it happened, but she did contact you after and give you the details...I would be good with that...but every relationship is different and only you two know for sure.

There is no reason to think she is going to leave you if your marriage is strong. Doesn’t make a difference if she is with a man or a woman the sex is just another form of enjoyment. We never spoke about our other sexual fun for years and it didn’t affect our love at home. Once we were open about meeting others things didn’t change for us. She has plenty of women friends that she meets for non-sexual things and I feel the men she meets are just other friends. She said she isn’t looking for any long term relationships with the men so it is different from being with a friend. I do have long term relationships that are long distance and have never thought of leaving my wife for any of these women.

If you are both open and honest with one another. If the boundaries you set aren’t abused. Then there’s no harm. This lifestyle is not cookie cutter. What works for you, might not work for others. Thank your friend for his advice. But travel the road you and your wife have charted

Don't let other peoples opinions sway you. Your friends comment is just his opinion and has no relevance to what you and your wife share. Seems to me your wife has been very open with you and wanted you to share in her exciting encounter. That should put any insecurity, you may have, to rest. But, solid relationships get their strength from both partners being open in their conversations and the trust it builds. Enjoy in her excitement and what flows from it.

We have good friends who are married the same 37 years that we have been. The husband left the wife for another man. We are surprised, not shocked. These things happen. We don’t think this couple were swingers. We are not in the hall pass camp. We swing together in the same general place. Separate rooms, but not separate places. Has worked for us.

All the above is spot on! Just be up front with people about what you are interested in and what your boundaries are and I think you will pleasantly surprised. We have been a full swap couple from pretty much the beginning, and we have had sex just about every club visit we have made... the majority of which have just been with each other.

No, not at all. No. Most couples (but not necessarily all) will ask what your interests and limits are before doing anything else. Those that don't ask will usually honor your requests if you tell them that you are not interested or to stop. The very few that may not listen at all should be reported to the club owner and escorted out of the club (very rare, but still a possibility). Don't let someone 'get away' with something you two are not interested in just because they force themselves in (that's what they are hoping you will do...nothing).

NC_Seniors, you're dead ....right Seriously Watchhercum4u, what NC_Seniors said One aspect of this though if you're at a club; if you're in a playroom having sex with each other and you leave the door open, some people might take that as an invitation to come in. That might be ok for you or not; respectful people will ask, or at least ask if you would like them to be involved. We've been to one club where every playroom had a window with curtains, so you could have the door closed but the curtains open. It was rather fun to walk down the hallway where these rooms were and be a voyeur looking in on the rooms with the curtains open, also knowing the people inside WANTED to be watched. Good for them, good for me If you found a club with playrooms like that, it would probably be perfect for you.

I am not homophobic, nor am I bi, so if we were playing with a bi guy and he did try something that went beyond the usual bumping into each other that's hard to avoid, I'd just tell him I wasn't into that and carry on. If he tried to talk me into something, I'd say the same thing. I'd only get pisssed if he didn't respect what I had told him and persisted. In that case, I'd do the same thing I'd do if a guy did something to Harriet that he had been told she wasn't interested in doing. Throw his ass out very painfully. What matters to me is that people respect our boundaries. I'm not going to freak out if some guy grabs my dick or whatever. I'll just say something and expect him to not keep trying to do it. On the other hand, whether you are bi, straight or whatever, I think it's incumbent on everyone to be aware of when they might be exceeding someone's comfort zone and the problem really shouldn't come up.

Lora, Clair and I don't usually use toys and never any powered toys. We do on occasion use a double ended dildo, but it still mostly ends with us doing oral on one another.

A topic that I did not find discussed here, how often do women with a Lesbian side engage in scissoring, also called tribbing? I do it with Lora and Clair (and they with each other) from time to time, usually as foreplay, but we also can orgasm from it. We are all, however, more into oral and finger fucking to make love and get our Os.

My female partners all enjoy this. There is nothing hotter than feeling another wet pussy against mine. Makes for an incredibly intense orgasm.

I know that might sound strange coming from me but I am a weird thinker. Yes in the heat of sex I can see my husband being near other penises. I've seen them pretty darn close to his mouth and face, had a few guys help the ladies suck him and play around with him even anally. He doesn't know who's doing what because he was always in a 69 when it happened. None of it bothered me a bit and was quite the turn-on to be honest. He had never been or done anything with a guy for the most part, yes he has had to help stuff the other guy back in during DP, etc. Again we are in the heat of the moment and it's all about sex! We all kiss with cum in our mouths, swapping it all around, no biggy. He is not so much into that but will oblige us ladies. He has eaten it our of many of us many times, no biggy. But I could never imagine him kissing a guy - euuwwwww. #1 that is not a pretty sight - not attractive in the least, #2 that is not masculine at all (I like masculine men), #3 even the bisexual men in our group do not kiss. Yes I have seen them do Everything else, but they NEVER kiss other guys. You know never thought about it, I wonder why? I'll ask them all next week when we get together, I'll let you know. I'll take it one step further, I could never see my husband doing a guy anally. Never could see him wanting to, desiring it, that is leaning a bit to far for me. I guess if it happened I'd have to be okay with it but I simply do not see it happening, he likes the ladies WAAAY to Much! GREAT post BTW - You really got me going on this one now - can't wait to ask the men in our group.

eeuuuuwww - GROSS! It is NOT appealing to watch or think about to me, even as a pretty liberal female - eeeeeuwwww!