Leaderboard

What the hell is wrong with single men in this lifestyle? My wife and I recently decided to seek out a single guy for some occasional threesome fun, and besides the usual morons who replied and bragged about being a “dominant bull” (GOODBYE!!!), we had a few promising replies who initially abided by what we stated we required. I (husband) do the initial screening, chat with the guy for awhile, where I set the ground rules, including that he’s already gotten all the pictures (G-rated) he’s going to get, and to show respect for my wife. I then have my wife communicate with him directly (her desire). Invariably, the guys then lose their minds, request naked photos, try to get sexually graphic, etc. They literally fuck up a free lunch, because they can’t control themselves. What the eff is wrong with these guys?? Abide by our rules, be respectful, and you can possibly have regular NSA sex with a gorgeous woman, but they still manage to fuck it up. <rant off>

I'd say. go for it, have fun. Go at night, no lights on inside the car as to provide some level of privacy. Look for rural roads for your first time. Maybe don't put seat down, but make love in the back seat. Again might provide a little better privacy while allowing for the feeling of exhibition. Not sure about sex offender, but seat belt laws, and indecent exposure. S

This is one of the things the wife wants to try. She has become a big exhibitionists since we started into the lifestyle. We have a SUV which turns into a bed platform as well. Our only worry is getting caught. I mean shit like this could land a person on the sex offenders registry...couldn't it?

As we look through local profiles at SLS, it's very notable that a good 95% of all female profiles are labeled bi-curious but closer to only 1% of men are. It's rare that I see a woman that has classified herself as straight. Hubby says that it's only natural that woman would more likely be sexually attracted to woman because, well... they're woman so are just naturally beautiful and sexy. He has a less generous opinion of the male form. I kind of suspect that it may have something to do with the idea that we as woman tend to think it's what is expected so label ourselves that way to "fit in". That's only a suspicion mind you but there really is quite a huge disparity among the sexes on SLS and even among the general population of woman. What do you think? When we attend our first party in a couple of weeks, will I likely be assumed to be bi-curious? That wouldn't bother me at all, I'd just like to know vibe I'm giving off just by being a female at a swingers party. And additionally, I feel like I'd be comfortable with receiving basic pleasure but not reciprocating. Probably not welcome huh?

As a semi-retired attorney, I fear getting stopped by a cop. Rent a hotel room. Generally safer.

I think a lot of women play bi, but are not that into it. I think a fair amount of men are bi-curious, but don’t put it in their profile for fear of alienating people. If you receive female oral, but do not want to reciprocate, the receiver is called a “pillow princess.” Not a compliment.

...A quick update is in order. I booked a room on the party floor of an upcoming themed hotel party. I've had so much fun putting my nasty school girl outfit together and talking to my hubby about what dirty things I want others to watch me doing (there's going to be a Sybian there!). It's less than two weeks away and we've been fucking more than usual just thinking about how much fun we're going to have. We both plan on keeping it watching and touching only but I've admitted that I am hoping for a glory hole opportunity. The anonymity of it is a turn-on.

The bolded is saying a lot. Whether it's true or not, the fact that you aren't sure and just assume seems like it says a lot about where you believe you stand here.

So your options are she can either continue to have unprotected sex with whoever she wants, damn the consequences and with no concern as to how you feel or you can leave. It sounds like she has made the decision for you...

There's a word in the swinging lifestyle and/or are very sexually active using these methods of 'birth control'... Mothers Swinging is a team sport. If one member of the team says no, then the entire team says no. If that isn't the case (as it sounds) then swinging must stop. If she isn't willing to stop, then there isn't much you can do but this WILL start the steady spiral downward as trust is destroyed and communication breaks down. Unfortunately, all you can do is stand your ground and remind her that her continuing starts to become cheating instead of swinging and is damaging your relationship. Maybe finding you taking a firm stand will make her rethink her choices. Good luck and know we're here to support you.

Sounds like non-monogamy is more important to her than your relationship. I am sure that you figured this out. Your move.

It’s my fervent hope that this is an expression of fantasy and not one of fact. If it is factual, it is appalling. In every way.

Not only do I completely agree with this person, I have to ask the obvious question, are you now telling everyone that you are having sex that your partner goes completely bare with multiple people and could care less what she gets transmitted sexually. Personally I would pass on anyone who’s partner was that careless. she’s making you a bad risk also

They just need to be trained. Somebody has to do it. Might as well be you. My recommendation is to have 2 VERY strong bouncers present and as a couple train them. Have them sign a waiver of sorts releasing you from harm should you need to toss them out on their ear. I am not a legal person but I am sure there are some here that can help with that, something to protect everyone. We deal mostly with couples and have a very slow process of introducing them into our lifestyle and even more delicate is introducing them into our fold. There are those occasions when you know a couple is a perfect fit but more than not, it's a long slow road vetting them. I'll add more later...

In defence of what PeeTWheatstraw said on this subject about married men I do not think he is wrong at all! We have experienced much of what he said ourselves in the years we have been at this. Two examples would be two messages I woke up to today. The first one was on one of the sites we have an account on. The message was from a guy who was listed as single on his profile. When I opened his profile there were absolutely no pictures and it just said looking for fun with women and couples. Then there was one line about how his partner was now also interested in having fun. First thing that comes to my mind is this goof was trying on his own and having zero luck so suddenly he is attached. I replied to his message that there was nothing at all about his profile that interested us. His response is to send a picture of her and another one of her with just his dick. Fail. Second one was on this site. Clearly directed just at her. Not us. Self proclaimed BWC and hotwife seeing if she was interested in exchanging pictures and stories. First of all the size and Color of a penis means fuck all to her and she has no interest in seeing pictures of it. Also if it did matter she has no further then home to see one anytime she wants. Just, because I don’t advertise it as a BWC does not mean it isn’t. I know better then to try and use my penis to get attention, because it does not work that way for any woman worth being with. Second of all if someone wants to see pictures we have multiple folders in the gallery on this site for anyone who choices to look at. So it is not just single men that do not seem to get it! It is men in general.

For every example you gave, I could give 10+ of clueless jackasses who sent unsolicited dick pics (when we clearly state not to), and sent replies like “sup?” “still looking?” “available now”, “alpha bull here, I’ll dom both of you”, or my personal favorite “does she want my cock in her ass?” Then there are the ones who pass the initial screening, start communicating with my wife, then start asking for naked photos, and say shit like “dump that loser and let’s hook up”. So, you’re “deeply offended”? Too bad, because most single guys in this lifestyle ARE clueless idiots. They regularly fuck up a free lunch, they literally can’t read and/or control themselves.

Any guy that says he can only meet on weekday afternoons is going to have a hard time finding anyone and is more then likely a cheater! Most of us have jobs and real lives. If a dude can not meet on weekends he is an immediate no.

I find this post deeply offensive. Nobody ever wants to talk about the married men that are assholes. The married guys that lack the social skills to communicate with another human being. The lame married guys that feel entitled to do or say what they want because they are married. The married guys that are always looking for someone to fuck without their wife even knowing. The married guys that post pictures of their wives and other women in their family without their consent. The married guys who do not respect other men but expect you to treat them and their wives as some sorta queen. The confused married guys who claim to be cuckold's but secretly want to be dominant and control the whole scenario. The confused married guys that act tough but be all in your DMs asking if they can suck your cock or if you will fuck them. The married guys that are lame as fuck and ride on the coattails of their wife just to give them some status. The married guys that want you to spoil their wife because they cannot. The married guys that pimp their wives out for money because they are not successful themselves. See what Im saying.....I been at this for 20+ years and each one of those descriptions is an example of married guys that I have encountered in the lifestyle. The fact that you would lump all men into the same category when you have not met all men speaks volumes for the type of human that you are. If you are really interested in improving the lifestyle then there are other ways that you can provide feedback to single guys that you feel are problematic. Lets not forget, single men are relevant in the swinging lifestyle because some married men are unable to keep up with their wives sex drive. Plus, when event planners have cash flow problems its normally the single men that make up the difference.

1. You’ve gotten all the photos you’re going to get, DO NOT ask for more, and especially DO NOT ask for nude photos. 2. DO NOT get sexually graphic when communicating with her, she finds it a total turnoff. 3. DO NOT try to meet her alone, that will instantly end our interactions. 4. If we make plans to meet and you don’t show, don’t bother contacting us again. We think they’re all very reasonable and very easy to abide by, but almost as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, guys lose their minds and seemingly go down the checklist.

Swing Clubs can appeal to both widowers and widows who just enjoy some uncomplicated no strings attached sex.

I've long said (and almost everyone woman I've asked has agreed) the majority of men just suck. I'm sorry you've had such a rough go finding good single men in the lifestyle. Maybe we're just ridiculously lucky, but my wife and I have found quite a number of single men for her to play with over the years. I'd say it's about a dozen. There were only two guys who were problematic. One was a total flake and the other an obvious cheater (deal breaker for us). She didn't play with either of them. The others? Some were better than others, none were bad. Two she turned into long term (years long) lovers/boyfriends. I think it's possible to find good guys in the lifestyle. I really do. I also think it's really worth it. I know some swinger couples won't consider singles at all, but for my wife and I it has worked very well.

We found a good match on AFF. Friendly, funny, not pushy, cute, understanding, messaged us for months before a meet...but then turned out to be a lousy fuck. 🙃

Are all single men absolutely clueless idiots? Yes...yes they are. That's why single guys have such a bad reputation...because they deserve it. Oh, there are some good ones out there (I hope), but while not as rare as unicorns they are few and far between. Good luck and just keep looking...