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How about always ask for permission before doing something and what we think is the absolute golden rule: No means no. At the same time, not answering does not mean yes.

Our five golden rules: 1. The couple, specially the woman, decides who and what she should accept or not accept. 2. Condom is essential. 3. If the swingers partners are not close, avoid talking about politics, religion and other controversial topics.4.Lesbianism is allowed and welcome.5. Respect to all swingers.

We just returned from our stay at Hedonism 2 in Jamaica and the worst part of it was having to leave. I wanted to thank everyone here and those that left reviews elsewhere for your recommendation. We were NOT disappointed. While many people are in different stages of the lifestyle with different interests, I wanted to provide my feedback to help them decide or provide some insight for those just getting started in the lifestyle. The facility was laid out very well, while they have a nude side and a prude side, either side is perfectly fine to choose and it is a very short walk should you choose to explore. The so called prude side, housing and beach, is the perfect place to spend the morning recovering from the night before or simply hang out in a quiet place for peaceful morning, relaxation and enjoy a more private intimate moment with your spouse or simply open a book to read. Clothing is optional, so do expect to see both nude, partially nude and fully clothed people. The Nude side, is the perfect place for party time, anything goes to the wildest and most open forms in sexual interaction. The best way to describe the beach is 0 to 10. You can choose to be totally isolated at the very end of the beach where it starts on the border to the next resort and can walk down to the other end which ends up being a non stop 24/7 party! You can basically walk along (a short easy walk) and choose to stay wherever you like. While being nude is required for this side, you can still expect to see some people with some sort of covering, sheer/lace, hat even a sarong. Logistics: The Food is delicious, all kinds of food available for just about every taste, the staff is also familiar to help you with any food allergies and sensitivities. Don't hesitate to ask should you have some concerns regarding the ingredients, the staff is very friendly and happy to get any questions answered. On one occasion, (Asian Food Night) the chef came out personally went over which dishes contained gluten and pointed out what was safe. I stopped him half way through because there was more than enough to eat. Plates, Silverware, Napkins were all very clean, staff visited the table often to top off drinks and take away any plates. The Bars were fully stocked, the drinks were properly mixed and no sense of being watered down or weak like we saw at other resorts. If you want an extra strong drink, they were happy to oblige but the standard drink was as you would expect. While they didn't have bottled water, you are given a reusable container with plenty of fill stations. The refill stations throughout the resort are triple filtered with UV to provide safe clean drinking water. The water was clean, odorless and tasted as you would expect from bottled water. The pools were clean and open to everyone, most of which are clothing optional with the exception of the one group of pools at the end of the nude side which was nude only. While there are several small pools through the resort, it was no trouble to find one that you can enjoy alone time with your mate. Same would go for hot tubs, plenty to choose from, private and open both nude and clothing optional. The nude side has a row of pools, semi warm one with a swim up bar, snack bar, wading pool (warm), waterfall that is a fence for a more private cave, large open hot pool, large cold pool and a smaller hot tub which is very warm. All of which are connected and easy to jump from pool to pool. Nude Side: - Do expect 99% to be Nude - Do expect to view open sexual activity, everywhere, on the beach, on the deck, around the pool, in the pool, on the floating dock, in the water, on the sand...... everywhere but inside the restaurants. Maintenance: While some did frown upon one pool or one room being closed as a given time, this is a good thing to be honest. The resort is basically a 24/7 establishment, there has to be a time where they perform maintenance and not every single room can be open 100% of the time. The resort is working hard to keep the property updated and clean, the closing of some rooms and pools should be expected. Nobody wants to go to a 'run down' resort. They are very conscious to maximize up time. For example, when we arrived the "Kamasutra Palace" was closed, we were a little upset at the moment but we saw that it was being repainted, new lighting fixtures being installed, floors being refinished and the whole building inside and outside being pressure washed. The next day, we went to find the other play room, just to find it closed but a sign hanging stating that the Kamasutra Palace was reopened and taking the place of the second play room. The same maintenance was going on there at the time. So there was always a play room open and while closing of any room sucks, it is nice to know they are keeping the buildings maintained and clean. We saw two pools closed during our stay which was no big deal as there were still many to choose from. I was surprised that they drained one pool, scrubbed, painted, made repairs and was refilled and back in operation within 48 hours. I've seen pools closed for weeks at hotels to make these types of repairs. I saw their crew out there in the dark working until it was reopened. Rooms: While the rooms were nice they were a little 'dated', wondering if they would be renovated anytime soon..... We then noticed 4 rooms with work crews gutting them for renovation, so do expect to see a new look on the other rooms the future Our room had one small issue, a drip of condensation from the A/C Unit, before we can even make a report, the maid noticed it and automatically contacted the A/C Repair Folks, they were in there during the daily cleaning and had it fixed in about 20 minutes. Beaches: The beaches were cleaned daily of leaves and debris but no real trash was ever noticed. The beaches and water were very clean, plenty of towels stocked, plenty of seating and hammocks to relax in. Some of the rooms also had private hot tubs on the deck facing the beach, a few in which we visited, all of which were cleaned and treated daily, good condition and proper working order. Security: The beach is patrolled with several safety/security officers. None of which were a bother, they would greet you with a smile. I didn't see any of them up close to 'personal activity' but kept their distance. They were very professional and just let people do what they wanted for the most part. If there was some activity that kicked off, I noticed an officer excuse himself from that area and simply moved a little further away to provide privacy. The officers would routinely look in another direction and not take the scenes as a movie for them to watch. The staff was the same way, basically walk by and ignore the activity, no judging, no finger pointing, very very professional. We did have one interaction, while we met some new friends, one of them required an 'assisted' walk back to her room due to a little intoxication, as she was staying in the room next to us, we offered to walk her back, not due to a security concern but more of a trip and fall consideration. We were approached by security and was kindly asked what was "going on here" we explained and all was well, they did keep an eye to ensure there wasn't something else taking place but allowed us to go on our own and kept a good distance. Guests: The best part of the trip were the people there. We have never met such a great group of people in our entire life. The people were non judging, open, very easy to talk to, happy to converse with anyone. The demographics of the group was better than expected. If you're worried about a certain age group or nationality, let it be known that it is a very diverse group of people. We've met people of all age groups, even a few in their 70's, all sizes, shapes, colors, classes, singles, couples. There is simply something or someone for everyone, no matter your level of participation in the lifestyle, you will not be disappointed. The people were very respectful. I highly recommend this resort to anyone, even if you're not currently practicing in the lifestyle, it is an experience that you will not forget. If anyone has any questions, I will do my best to answer.

...A quick update is in order. I booked a room on the party floor of an upcoming themed hotel party. I've had so much fun putting my nasty school girl outfit together and talking to my hubby about what dirty things I want others to watch me doing (there's going to be a Sybian there!). It's less than two weeks away and we've been fucking more than usual just thinking about how much fun we're going to have. We both plan on keeping it watching and touching only but I've admitted that I am hoping for a glory hole opportunity. The anonymity of it is a turn-on.

There's a word in the swinging lifestyle and/or are very sexually active using these methods of 'birth control'... Mothers Swinging is a team sport. If one member of the team says no, then the entire team says no. If that isn't the case (as it sounds) then swinging must stop. If she isn't willing to stop, then there isn't much you can do but this WILL start the steady spiral downward as trust is destroyed and communication breaks down. Unfortunately, all you can do is stand your ground and remind her that her continuing starts to become cheating instead of swinging and is damaging your relationship. Maybe finding you taking a firm stand will make her rethink her choices. Good luck and know we're here to support you.

My SO, David, has had a permanent hall pass to play for I guess about 2 years now; the only stipulations being that he can only play at our local club, or at hotel events (no dates, no booty calls). It started when I was having trouble with my health and couldn't go out with him often. I had become comfortable enough, by that time, that I really had no problem allowing him to play without me being present. Even now that my health is improving, it's been nearly a year since I've even been out to the club with him. Since I'm monogamous anyway (I've just never had an interest in the LS), I found myself bored at the club quite often since I was never looking to play. It just made sense to allow him the freedom of going to the club or hotel event a couple of times a month or so with a hall pass, and for me to do things that I enjoy on the nights he's gone (girls night out, sitting home curled up on the couch with Netflix, having my niece and nephew over, etc.). For me, it feels no different than him going out for the evening to shoot pool with his friends. I trust him totally to stay within the parameters that we agreed upon, and that for him, no emotion ever comes into play. It's just a sexual release for him, and the way we have things set up works well for us.

We both have hall passes and we both use them regularly. When we started, a whole year ago we frankly didn't know enough about what would be a good rule or not so we basically just dove in head first and then started to make up rules as we figured out what we liked and what we didn't like. (I cant say I recommend this method for starting out.) Mrs D had a hall pass very early on during a week I was a away on business.... the result was my being very insecure about the whole thing. So we made up a rule about no hall passes. I wrote a post or two about my feelings on hall passes; sometimes I go back and read those posts and get a smile on my face about my current feelings vs what I was feeling six months ago. I think, looking back, that I was in the same boat as the OP... although I wasn't really very honest with what I was feeling, which basically amounted to my being jealous. I'm not dismissing what I felt, the whole situation made me very uncomfortable. Jealousy is very real and it isn't necessarily juvenile. Facing it requires that one finds out what the cause is which isn't very easy as our egos tend to misidentify what it is we are really feeling jealous about. It was difficult to put my finger on what it was that I didn't like, but in the end what I was jealous of was the amount of attention she was getting vs I. It wasn't so much that she had more opportunity it was more that those who expressed a desire for her seemed to be more interested in her than were the women who expressed an interest in me. Maybe a better way of putting it is that her opportunities seemed more sincere in their interest than mine were. It got to the point where I wasn't all that interested in swinging at all and my anti-hall pass radar was lit up like a Christmas tree. What changed my outlook was three really good swing experiences where the women were completely into me... overnight it seemed my whole attitude changed. It wasn't that I had an opportunity to use a hall pass with any of these three women, it was that suddenly I was feeling like I was playing a part in the lifestyle. It also became very clear to me that I had been misreading the other men's interest in Mrs D! It was as if I couldn't understand the nature of the chemistry between my wife and the other men until I had experienced similar chemistry. As Mrs D and I talked about it we decided it was time to try giving her a hall pass again to use with a single guy we had met at a party. The result was incredible! It didn't bother me at all and it turned out that her being chased was kind of a turn on for me! Another time she was able to play with a man whose wife I absolutely have no interest in. (she is very good looking, but just no sparks between us ) Problem of 4-way chemistry solved! Over the last couple of months I have had the opportunity to use a hall pass with a close FWB. The whole experience has been very positive. I don't want to sound like I am saying to everybody to go use a hall pass. I can certainly understand and identify with those who choose not to use them. Neither my wife or I like to talk much about what happened during the hall pass. It isn't that we are jealous its that seeing someone separately is very personal. We both have found that its a kind of alone time that is nice to keep for ourselves. Compare that to when we swing as a couple and we like to go over the whole evening in detail saying what we each liked and disliked and what we learned from our partners. There is a very different feeling to swinging together versus separately. Also we both have veto rights over who we each can see. That is, we both like to know the other party. Having a Hall Pass isn't the equivalent of it being a free for all. Obviously there are some safety concerns as well that I have to be comfortable with.

Yes, we have hall passes. She has used it and I have not. We did not have specific rules on hall passes at first. When I had surgery and was going to be inactive for a while we decided it was a good idea. She only played with people we already knew. No rule has been broken. We still have a standing hall pass for each of is and may or may not use them, depending on the situation, as we prefer to play together. The only negative we have experienced was that I was very apprehensive while she was out. Once she checked in and I knew she was safe, everything was good. What people should do is stick to their rules, be honest, communicate and be safe. Beyond that, to each their own. I disagree about wanting to hear about it means your jealous. I want to hear about how things went, what she did etc. (we also do separate rooms with some couples). I am always excited to hear she had a great time and very disappointed when she doesn't. I enjoy sharing in her joy.

We did hall passes with our first couple but then ended that policy with them after awhile. Mr. Sun isn't comfortable with hall passes for the most part but I am more than willing to give one to him as long as he tells me with who and when. I'm not sure I understand the "Did you ever have a rule against them that you broke?" question because we always made sure we let the other one know when we were using them. However, I probably used my hall pass too much at the beginning. I was only comfortable using the hall pass with our first couple and we were both in favor of the hall pass. However, I had more opportunity to use my hall pass than Mr. Sun and that created a "not on the same page" so we stopped. In my opinion, hall passes should only be done when the couple has moved beyond "doing swinging together" to "wanting the happiness for their spouse" and even then it depends on where the couple lies on the spectrum between swinging and poly. Playing separately, especially many times with the same person, can open up a lot of issues that deal with the heart. But this is only my opinion. I remember when we did hall passes, we were okay hearing about what happened but not specific details unless specific questions were asked. Maybe that's just the way I am or Mr. Sun is but I am more turned on by the situation. For example, just watching people have sex hasn't really been a turn on surprisingly (or not since I don't really like porn). But I love reading erotica because it's the story of how the sex developed that gets me going. There are couples that get excited about sharing details though, we just aren't one of them. I don't know if that's what you were thinking about or not. Maybe if a spouse really doesn't want to hear anything about it or doesn't want to share, then there might be an issue there. Perhaps there is jealousy arising within the person who doesn't want to hear it. And perhaps the one that doesn't want to share is hiding something. In those cases, should they be doing it? Probably not but it's their decision, isn't? The issues should be dealt with if they want to keep their relationship. If they don't want to, then they aren't working hard enough to maintain it. It's really their call.

We have in the past and probably will again. It's a case by case basis. Safety is a primary concern and we tell each other everything after.

We do hall passes and have never broken any rules around them...so far, I have only used it once. When my business travel had me out of town a lot is when we started using them.

As a man, I would be unhappy to see my wife seem to enjoy another man one on one. I want to be her favorite. Echoing GoldCo on the rest. Stop swinging for now.