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I agree with everything you said. I find the above quote particularly thought provoking. It is an observation that implies, correctly in contemporary thinking, that having more than one sex partner isn't being nonmonogamous so long as there is no relationship beyond the sex. Which leads to the interesting conclusion that two people in a sexual relationship, with both having other sex partners, are not considered nonmonogamous unless they develop feelings between them and continue to have sex with others.

Certainly true. I guess what I'm really getting at is that the situation described in the OP might not be considered "non-monogamy" by a lot of people, as much as just "not yet being exclusive". I remember a discussion on here with a kind-hearted gentleman who was genuinely surprised to realize that vanilla women he was dating might be allowing him to buy them dinner despite already having undisclosed casual sex partners, apparently believing there was an unspoken etiquette there that both sex and picking up the check naturally implied exclusivity. That isn't just generational. I recall some fairly substantial differences in casual sex norms regionally, too.

This is good guidance. Thanks, friends.

We won’t get involved with married men, under any circumstances. If he can’t be honest with his wife, he’s certainly not going to be honest with us.

I’m not bi. Or so I thought, until yesterday evening. My husband had dinner with one of his clients, a female CEO. I know they are friends and he never actually hit on her, until yesterday. He told me « tonight I’m gonna try to seduce her Join us at the end of the dinner ! » So, around 21:30, I joined. Obviously they had had a good time already, smiling, laughing, drinking an excellent wine, and their hands were sometimes touching above the table. This beautiful woman was obviously into my husband, but also into me. She was looking at both of us like if we were delicious cakes behind the glass of the pastry shop. That’s when it hit me. I wanted her too!!! For the first time ever, yesterday evening, I felt a strong desire for a woman, a beautiful girl with massive breasts, a body to die for, and a smile that could conquer Rome! I am not sure I would know how to handle her in bed, though, cos I’ve never been with a girl before. But for the first time, I am REALLY attracted !!!!!! Hubby says it will come naturally, and that I should not worry. Still, I would appreciate your advice, ladies. How was your first time with a female body in bed? How was the first time you ate a pussy, you played with boobs that were not yours, etc. ? :))) Sorry, I feel stupid but all this is very new to me.

It absolutely happens in regular clubs, just usually behind closed doors unless it's explicitly an LGBT themed night.

I do have one thought that is only my opinion based on my limited experience... You mention that your hubby is EXTREMELY straight... Fine. No problem with that except that in a sexual situation everyone will be in close proximity and there could be incidental contact. Having been in straight threesomes before as well as more open, bi threesomes, I can tell you that in a couple of instances, the tension was obvious as the hubby was much more worried about not touching me or me not touching him than he was about either of us touching her. It was almost as if we were boxing. It was ridiculous and I didn't enjoy it at all. May not be your situation and may not apply to your situation... Just something that I think about when approached by a 'straight' couple.

Our Story started when we were in the University I was 20 and Tomy was 22 and we both have had lost the virginity and I was dating a guy at her hometown before moving to Houston. the first year of college Tomy was dating some and had my fun and sex with them but I was not dating any one by that time I broke up with the guy at hometown and then in the second year we started dating and as soon as we started dating, we kissed and had sex and after a month or so we had our holidays and I was back home and met my ex and we were having sex and when i returned back told tomy what happened he accepted and from then till now 15 years after we grew in the relationship and had opened to become swingers and then open relationship.

Numex, I agree, that passage was confusing — garbled even. 😳🙄😂. I managed to covey the opposite of what I intended. Although they had an emotionally close relationship in addition to their sexual one, her married BF had no expectation that Kathy would refrain from sex with others. (She didn’t date much though. Indeed, this was from the mid-70s through mid-80s, when there weren’t as many out gay people, even in NYC publishing, and many of her colleagues assumed she was a lesbian.)

For us it was always about the wife back home. We did not want to be involved with the deceit. We have got dressed and walked out. As for the male/male, it is about many things regarding sexuality. Often times, the fantasy is better than the reality.

Funny wrinkled tennis ball, I have to chuckle. Reminds me of Shwetty Balls. This discussion about a gorgeous penis is something I only thought to myself and never openly mentioned. There is one man we play with who I secretly think his penis is perfect in look and length, easy to go full deep on it, he also keeps his balls clean shaven. I have been told I have a pretty looking pussy by a woman which meant a lot to me. Think men only care that it’s a pussy that is clean and not smelly and don’t comment on attractiveness.

Mrs. E married early and was a couple of years into her divorce. She'd only been with a few men before that and hadn't really had a ton of "grownup" single life experience. She was dating but disappointed that she was sort of looking to revisit some of what she missed, and most men she was meeting were either trying to marry or remarry. One brought his bank statements to a second date thinking that would impress her. So she had an on-and-off boyfriend she was seeing, and dates here and there, but was generally disappointed. She was raised with a fairly traditional background and actual casual sex without the formalities of dating struck her as pretty taboo. I was single, dating casually, and - relative to her, though not radically so - the more experienced one. She knew that I usually had multiple women going and was interested in spending time together but thought it was too wild for her, so we were just coffee friends for a while. We'd talk openly about our dating lives and flirt a little. The tipping point was a very frank conversation on a Sunday morning at the coffee shop, where she admitted she was having a little identity crisis because she'd woken up with her pseudo-boyfriend Saturday morning and went on a date that night that ended in unexpected oral sex. She was scandalized by it and kind of fixating. I politely explained that that was really nothing, and that that's what it's like sometimes if she's going to actively date. Admitted that I'd once worked through three women in my rotation in one day - woke up with one who knew I had a lunch date and went for it anyway, brought the lunch date back to my place, then had a dinner date at the third's place - and that hers was really just not a particularly shocking story. Something clicked for her there that I really wasn't judging her and that she wasn't expected to take herself so seriously. We ended up going out for some live music that night, debated what to do next in the car, and she spent the night at my place, we screwed twice. Kept going after that while continuing with our other activities. Never had some big "what are we doing" conversation. We just both liked spending a lot of time together and kind of tapered off of other partners over about 18 months. Had some adventures in there but never really thought of ourselves as "non-monogamous" as much as just single together, until we weren't. I'd wager there's probably a small generational/regional cultural gap, here, too. Some people on this board are in an age group where it was taken for granted that being single implied doing whatever you wanted until you found a new relationship, and that most women have someone to call. Others took it for granted that being single meant you probably weren't getting laid regularly, or at least either fell for it or cooperated in playing make-believe to be polite. Notably, the poll results are currently pretty divided between "neither of us" and "both of us". I'll bet it'd correlate with some other demographics.

My wife refuses to play alone; this is both due to the fact she views it as a violation to our marriage but also because the idea behind entering the lifestyle is so that we can explore together as a couple; she refuses to even think about a full swap if it’s done in separate rooms. right now we signed up for swingtown and SLS and we will see what we can get into while also looking at options such as clubs and more.

Among our married vanilla friends, I would say at least six or seven admit to at least one of them having been still fucking somebody else when they first started sleeping together. It doesn't seem to be a sensitive topic either. The sex isn't specifically mentioned, but the husband is like, "Didn't you get lost that the time you and John went to New York?"

I had called off the wedding with my fiancé Red and moved out, but we still loved each other and continued having sex. I met the man who would become my husband, David, and would talk about him with Red whenever I saw him. I had told David about Red from the beginning, but not specifically still having sex. David and I started having sex, and I would run back to Red for consultation (and more sex). Eventually David confronted me about what was going on with Red and I admitted that I was still screwing him. David said that he was ok with it. Eventually, they met, got along, we started having MFM threesomes, and David and I got married. We're still together, having added two other women to our family. BTW, when this all started Red wasn't fucking any other women, while David had two girls he was fucking after we got involved, but quickly gave them up. Both Clair and Lora were sexual involved when they joined us, but gave up their outside sex interests when they joined our family.

Honestly our social circle kinda took a massive nose dive after we had our daughter. Those we had been friends with didn’t really like that we had responsibilities and as time passed other obligations would throw a wrench into our plans such as my training and work schedule at the hospital. now my daughter is a bit older but my wife and I really truly have only two days out of the month to really do anything when my in law can watch our daughter. the benefit we had with my friend is that I have known him for so long that it was like expedited shipping as all the concerns and talk most people would have were already addressed and we could focus on the most important parts .

For my wife and I, it was neither of us. She was ~6 months into a divorce, and I'd been single for 9 months, except for a brief encounter with a married woman who was playing with permission of her husband. I was friends with both of them, and everything was on the up and up. When I told me (not yet at that point) wife about that, she was aghast and felt I had contributed to them breaking their vows. I noted that wasn't possible if both knew about it and approved. Fast forward 8 years, and we got into swinging. Color me shocked.

My now wife, Kathy, and I had been good social friends for 16 years when we became sexually and romantically involved. At that time we were both seeing other people. Kathy had been with a married man for more than a dozen years, but there had never been an expectation on his part that she would not be exclusive with him. That relationship was winding down in any case and she was ready to move on. I had been separated for more than a year from my then wife and in the meantime had rekindled a former relationship with a woman in Boston whose husband dumped her for his secretary. She took a post-doc in NYC so we could spend our available time together. It didn’t work out any better that time than the two previous times we’d tried. We had agreed that our relationship would end when her post-doc did. I began seeing Kathy about a month before then. For her part, Kathy continued to occasionally see her married boyfriend until she moved in with me about a year later.

Yep, that's what we settled on, multiple couples actually, and why. None of us in our group of couples is stuck solely on only MF swaps, so there is plenty of variety and fantasy fulfillment.

All too often, we see these questions, and yes, the answers based on the Alpha male brain.. Centuries ago, Roman soldiers engaged in bisexual play, and went home to wives and families.. Hmm seems to me if you spend your days raising cities and conquering people, and your nights .. well.. what happens in the tent stays in the tent.. Recently read thru the post, Why do some men try to force their wives to be bisexual? , and another asking Are we swingers or something else? Seems to me, we the freest of thinkers , the current sexually liberated generation are too hung up on what we call ourselves.. LGTBQ, all seek acceptance.. We get it.. But, why seek labels? We are human, and SEXUAL BEINGS, enjoy whatever you wish, DO WHATEVER YOU WISH WITH A CONCENTING PARTNER OR PARTNERS.. Be Sexual.. focus less on the gender and more on the experience

My husband said that to me too but he also said having sex with me was like a fantasy.

Technically id say you are flexible or fluid in your gender selection. Bisexual covers that, oral sex is sex. But I think labels are stupid. On a side note a guy that sucks dick is hot.

You are my type of woman. I have a great attraction to good looking cock. I love sucking with a woman. I have suck until my mouth hurts.

They invited me over Saturday. I'm leaning toward yes, as the idea seems pretty awesome.