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Good and proper judgment is the key to living a long, healthy and prosperous life. I'm tired to death of people that rip us for being judgemental. There are definite clues as to who is a good match and who is not. We are called on to make good choices and judgments on a daily basis for every aspect of our lives. Swinging is not an activity without risks, both physical and psychological. Again, we have to make choices that work for ourselves and our partners. If some dude gets bent out of shape because a given couple won't play with him because he's a cheater (or hall pass or whatever) it's none of his business why. The answer is simply no.

My wife is conservative as all hell. She is my polar opposite in basically every way sexually, and in 7 years of marriage where she is perfectly content with a dwindling weekly sex routine, I’ve been fantasizing about ways to spice it up. We’ve recently got into very light role playing, but nothing what compares to where my fantasies take me and I was feeling quite sexually frustrated. Being very open with each other, we spoke about this and I found mysef No real reason for this post specifically, sort of airing out some thoughts in a community well experienced. Comments, critiques, advice welcomed! Likely this will be super long too. Idk any other way! Ha My wife is conservative as all hell. She is my polar opposite in basically every way sexually, and in 7 years of marriage where she is perfectly content with a dwindling weekly sex routine, I’ve been fantasizing about ways to spice it up. We’ve recently got into very light role playing, but nothing what compares to where my fantasies take me and I was feeling quite sexually frustrated. Being very open with each other, we spoke about this and I found myself slipping out that I will often fantasize about her with another man. Of course this immediately sparked the “WTF” look and utter confusion. I explained o her the best I could about the fantasy being in the loss of “control”, and the spark of a competitive natural ‘whatever’ that surrounded it. Confused, but promising that she would consider / research (Aka talk to her best friend lol) about how she’s supposed to take it. Context / Background - Wife is an accomplished athlete and is currently coaching at a high level (endurance and power sport - omitted but every 4 years, you might have seen her at a certain international sporting competition) she is crazy stunning, hella focused and because of her sports life growing up, never really did the crazy ‘college years’ (I can’t say the same for myself. Basically she doesn’t ‘naturally’ default to sex, she’s never had a one-night-stand, and for sure has never used her body to intentionally arouse others. A little time passes since our talk and I wasn’t going to bring it up or pressure, but I didn’t have to as she casually brought it up a little bit later. Her out of the gate response was ‘no’ for fear she wouldn’t be able to separate sex and emotion (I understand this is a magical power that men have… ha). She went on to say that this fantasy, she’s afraid, might also open doors for me to have grounds to sleep with other women (to which I explained the “negotiation” part of the swinging journey): she was quite relieved after hearing that it as t the intent and we would agree that it’s not me scamming to sleep with other women. We then spoke about it as so “as a matter-of-factl like you would talk to your work team on how to tackle the upcoming week. She started asking specific questions / situations to attempt to gauge what it would look like in practice. She asked if she would just go out, come back and I’d “never know”, or would it need to be sex, or would any other “base” suffice. She made it clear that she wouldn’t want me in the room as it would make her awkward, and that if anything would happen to this effect, it would need to be an organic and natural situation (I.e. not setting it up with a friend or a swing group). We agreed to try a couple “test runs” and dip the toes into the water before a full deep dive (ended up doing three). She wanted to know for sure that I wouldn’t be jealous or have something ruined (hey, apparently it’s common for regret and resentment, so kudos for her research) Here were our “Trial Runs” 1) (per the advice of one of these group boards) we went out to a lounge / bar and let the men hit on her / swap numbers. (I loved the confidence boost this gave her). She wore a sexy AF dress, the lowest cut blouse I’ve ever seen her not cover up, her hair looked professionally done, and my god it was amazing sex h that night (with me, though there were two guys in particular that could have given me a run for my money) 2) a couple weeks later, We went separately to a Starbucks Patio. I was already there and she jogged / walked. She didn’t wear a bra for the run (apparently that is much worse than a would know lol) and she sat a row over And a couple tables away from me while she had her whatever drink and casually texting ignoring everyone around. Her blouse was ‘casual’ not designed low cut, but this was a little large on her. When she sat at an angle or the wind would push it against her, there was no avoiding seeing her nipples through the shirt, and though there were only a few people there, it was noticed. We sat there for maybe 10 minutes before a couple in their 20’s sat down. The girlfriend had her back to my wife seated across from her boyfriend with a full view. I was seated facing the same way as him, but I couldn’t see his face, and he had glasses on (stellar move for men). I sent her a text asking if he noticed her. She didn’t reply, but clearly read the text and that prompted her to stand up, stretch her arms behind her body while taking a little step behind this guys girlfriend. This maneuver pressed her nipples as far out as they could possibly go, and the guy clearly moved so he could watch my wife behind his girlfriend. What happened next I don’t know if she planned, or took advantage of her untied shoe but she didn’t sit back down, just started collecting her things and squatted down to put her book into her backpack. Still facing this guy, she bends over to tie her shoe, and from his angle, all he would need to have done to see my wife’s bare breast was look up. There’s no doubt in my mind that he did. She said she was too nervous to look up. I was instantly hard. 3) The final “thing” was to be nude somewhere online. I suggested a site like OnlyFans, or any Other ones that anyone can sign up on and broadcast. She wore a mask (like a feathery one / lace sort of on and the deal was that I would be able to watch her, while I was in our bedroom, but I wasn’t permitted to know the site she was on, or to see the conversations she was having (if at all) or how many people were watching my wife casually take her cloths off sort of one item at a time. My heart was about a million miles a minute the entire time, and I found myself hyper fixated on her eyes and her mouth. Around the ball mask or whatever it was She was clearly nervous and uncomfortable at first, but it didn’t stop her from stripping down to just her panties. She was wearing my headphones so I couldn’t hear any notifications, and she was trying but the two times she spoke out of habit, “thank you” was said through a shaky voice and I felt crazy protective. I wanted to ask her if she wanted to stop, but we agreed that I would be a fly on the wall. Only once did she move her panties over to expose all of her, and it must have been on request, or a tip or something because it certainly wasn’t enough to get her to orgasm. I thought I would easily have been able to jerk off twice watching her, but with my heart rate as high as it was and trying to analyze if she was actually okay with all this, it wasn’t going to happen at last sitting in that arm chair. I didn’t time the whole experience, but I would say it was about 30 minutes of streaming. She closed the computer, and left to the bathroom. It was a mood I didn’t expect. No one was upset, frankly I love the idea that she did it. She seemed to be okay doing it, but you could tell that she won’t make a profession out of being a “cam girl”… so I think. She asked if I came, and when I said no, she grabbed the lube and started rubbing. I asked her how many people were watching her…. She said she’s not going to tell me. I asked what site it was, she said she’s not telling me. I asked why now hat it’s over she said, while still stroking my dick, that she enjoyed strangers looking at her and she intends to do it again, but doesn’t want me getting notifications or finding her on there. I think I came within two strokes from there. Flash forward to earlier today: There’s a friends wedding on Saturday and I couldn’t make it because of work, so she RSVP’d for her alone. Wife’s best friend (who she spoke to about all this a couple months ago) texted her a couple days ago and asked if she “was still planning on… you know”. Wife won’t say any details to me until whatever we end up doing is “done”, but the long and the short of it is that there will be someone there that she will ‘very likely’ be able to do whatever with. Here are the terms. I will not hear any of he details until she is home, and she won’t tell me if she is going to be staying in the hotel, or coming home. This person isn’t someone as a friend in daily life, and doesn’t live locally. Numbers won’t be exchanged and no ongoing contact. If she is going to do it, she can’t have limitations on what or how far they go. She will be 100% truthful, honest and detailed. Including the details of the broadcast show. We will instantly f**k when she comes home and tells me what’s up. If there are photos, he’s not permitted to keep or take any with his phone. I have the craziest mixed feelings about all this, but it’s 100% what I wanted. There’s something about her withholding all the details that feels like a dirty negotiation and that is adding to it all. She’s basically not going to tell me anything I want to know about the video broadcast until she fools around with this guy and tells me all together… so it feels like I’m being manipulated and used…. But in the best way possible. saturdybis going to be a long day. I won’t know if I’m seeing her late that night, the next morning, or later. I’m not to call, I’m not to text, my job is to wait patiently while my wife finishes emptying this complete strangers dick as many times or as few times as she feels she wants to overnight 100 miles away… as I wrote that last sentence, my dick grew harder than I think it has in 10 years… In 48 hours, my wife is going to do to another man’s body everything she’s done to me. fuck me. ///////

So many people could avoid being butt hurt if they would just read god damn profiles before they start firing off messages, flirts and friend requests.

Who cares what they think? You’re inviting someone into your intimate relationship, they can blow it out their ass if they don’t like your rules. We’re always polite when telling someone we’re not interested, we usually just say “Sorry, not a good match, best of luck in your search”. If they get pissy or start asking why, we just block them and move on, no sweat.

We avoid attached males due to many reasons including ethical considerations! The point is if we already have in our profile we are not at all interested in attached males and they still feel the need to message us then they should not act surprised when we say we are not interested and tell us we are judging. If we put something in our profile it is there for a reason. People can save some time and actually read profiles before they send messages. We do. If someone wrote in their profile they are not interested in men over 50, or curvy bi women that squirt we are not going to message them and tell them they are judgemental for not being interested. We are just not going to message them.

When using rubbers, the guy should pull out immediately or at least before he loses his erection. He must grasp the base of the penis, thereby removing the spent/full condom so that there is no contact with its contents and the girl's vagina. We learned this in eighth grade. (I'm now 62) Because the girl has the most to lose, she shares in following this protocol. However, it's disgusting that a guy would be so uncaring towards his play partner that he would let the condom slip off in the first place, and then not say anything about it? He must not have been interested at all in a repeat performance.

Well stated TnA83, thank you.

Men ask because they might get a yes. It takes them little time to ask, and if you say no, so what? the cost to them is low.

I really enjoy anal sex with both genders. Either position (top / bottom) is fine with me, but prefer to top.

Have you thought about an implant ?

A third time only happens in group play and when 1) each orgasm is with a different woman, and 2) I'm watching my wife fucking, both of which get me extremely excited. No pills, but having my dick sucked the right way gets me back up. That's not the usual case, however. Typically I'll get off twice in a session. Regardless, when my wife and I get home she'll have me go down on her (I don't mind the mess) and give her one last orgasm to relax her. Women are like that.

I would agree with that summation, although three cums are exceedingly rare.

So you can be on the bottom and have her ride you?

Can you still orgasm limp with oral? After I have been totally spent after three orgasms, and one and a half ejaculations, I managed a fourth with a totally limp dick with a woman sucking me perfectly.

Ha! My wife has done both - at the same time. One married couple in particular is into this and Daniela plays the unicorn for them. She will do the husband doggy, either in her cunt or ass, while she licks the wife; sometimes the wife and Daniela 69 while the husband pumps her. Everyone enjoys it, including for me to watch. If were in a group I'm usually in another wife so it's doubly good. Daniela likes anal, or really doesn't mind it when her pussy's been taken care of. Unlike some guys, I see anal as less special than being in a woman's cunt, so I don't do it much and it doesn't bother or excite me when Daniela is being ass fucked. She also doesn't mind servicing the pillow queen in our group.

I'm totally versatile, but prostate cancer surgery has left me erectionless (maybe I'll get it back, maybe I won't, time will tell. I'm alive so I don't really care!). In the mean time I've embraced the bottom role and it's been great. Either with a dick or a strapon, getting is great! I've never had such intense orgasms. It certainly changes the dynamic, but hey, being flexible is part of the lifestyle!