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Just to be sure, there's Plan B.

I didn't ANY sex ed in eighth grade. Went to a catholic school and sex was never discussed. I don't think I had ANY sex ed until at least 10th grade (private school by that time, not Catholic School anymore). I don't know if I knew that until I started having sex in my 20's. ( I led kind of a sheltered existence )

I did have this happen with a play partner. I notified her immediately! I was very embarrassed and my wife was mad at me. (She was in the same bed, next to me, with the woman’s bf ). The woman took it totally in stride, had a good sense of humor. We didn’t find it after a brief search, she didn’t feel like a gyno exam, so the search was suspended. She texted us that night that she found it at home. Well, in her vag while she was home. Since then, I have been highly disciplined about employing TnA83’s procedure to grasp the condom at the base of my penis and hold on for dear life. We presume our partners use backup birth control or are too old to get pregnant, but college is expensive nowadays.

When using rubbers, the guy should pull out immediately or at least before he loses his erection. He must grasp the base of the penis, thereby removing the spent/full condom so that there is no contact with its contents and the girl's vagina. We learned this in eighth grade. (I'm now 62) Because the girl has the most to lose, she shares in following this protocol. However, it's disgusting that a guy would be so uncaring towards his play partner that he would let the condom slip off in the first place, and then not say anything about it? He must not have been interested at all in a repeat performance.

Awesome detail of how you two are starting out. You seem to be communicating well and taking it one step at a time. I can't wait for you to fill us in on how it turned out. Hope it's everything that you want.

We're checking this out and curious if there are other Persians / Iranians that swing here.

That's very bad and not acceptable. The man should have a concern about the seriousness involved in it. Its not about pregnancy it can be avoided by the after pill,but std and infections are very serious life threatening issues.

I don't think pregnancy is something she was concerned about. I was just pretty shocked that the guy just carried on as if nothing had happened. She was shocked when she found it! UGH! I asked her if she knows the guy and she does. I told her she should say something!

I love the mess. I'm attracted to the a part of man left inside her.

So many people could avoid being butt hurt if they would just read god damn profiles before they start firing off messages, flirts and friend requests.

When you are back together, tell her and show her that you love her (buy her something she wants) and let her talk it out as little or much as she prefers, no pressure. Do it right and it will all only get better from there.

My wife having a third orgasm is a daily occurrence, and no, I don't mind the mess either!

When I manage to cum the second time there is little ejaculate, the third time none, but the orgasms are increasingly intense, and particularly with a third orgasm, my balls will ache for several hours to a day afterwards. Intense and worth it.

Ha! My wife has done both - at the same time. One married couple in particular is into this and Daniela plays the unicorn for them. She will do the husband doggy, either in her cunt or ass, while she licks the wife; sometimes the wife and Daniela 69 while the husband pumps her. Everyone enjoys it, including for me to watch. If were in a group I'm usually in another wife so it's doubly good. Daniela likes anal, or really doesn't mind it when her pussy's been taken care of. Unlike some guys, I see anal as less special than being in a woman's cunt, so I don't do it much and it doesn't bother or excite me when Daniela is being ass fucked. She also doesn't mind servicing the pillow queen in our group.

So this weekend was our first* time swinging. *not actually our first as we’ve had a couple of other encounters but this was our first organised time at a club. I was nervous, worried, obviously excited, but all the fears were wiped away within the first half an hour. I found my people ! I honestly feel that way. They are so honest, so genuine, so welcoming. I mean I love my friends and family but there’s just no way I could be open to them about swinging, or even just sex for hat matter. Just the ease and honesty of conversation was so refreshing, one conversation was about anal sex, I’m a big fan, we talked, we laughed, we shared stories, no judgment, to jealousy, it was simply incredible. If I dared raise anal sex with my friends and think they’d giggle and shut the conversation down. I love the openness with these people. See, I love this lifestyle, these people, and I haven’t even mentioned the sex yet because everything else was just, well it was just perfect. And yes we did hook up with someone and yes it was great, and yes we met them privately again the next day, and yes that was even better. But this whole weekend was about more than just the sex, it was about the people, it was about how my husband and I, after I had doubts, connected on such an incredible level. I’d love one day to write a detailed diary entry about this weekend as it’s something I’ll never forget or regret. It’s the start of a new chapter, the start of a chapter where we can be who we are and not have to temper that to pander to friends. I still love my friends and I guess at the end of the day we’ll have to tone things down around them but my new friends, all of them, have given us such a gift by allowing us be us essentially. I can’t wait until next time.

Agree! We too, would much rather hang out with our swinger friends than our vanilla friends. Glad your week was good.

Me and my Partner have recently joined a couple of swinging group, however what we thought it was is not how it is portrayed on these websites. Before we was willing to meet up, we wanted to get to know couples/females first and go from there. We are madly in love and have an amazing sex life so we aren't desperate, however the people on these websites are coming across very desperate and that is not what we are about as we are already very satisfied😬 We have also had a couple of fakes which is really annoying.

We’ve never been to that club. As newbies, if you appeal to the regulars, they may descend upon you as fresh meat. Do stick relatively close to your wife. If you feel like being conservative, just watch. You can go further, have sex with each other and let others watch. If you are feeling your oats, you can swap partners with other partners. If you do that, make sure both you and your wife are on board with that couple. Condoms would be a great idea in a club setting. Take it easy with alcohol. While a little lessens nerves, too much may find you doing things you may not do sober. Also, for men, alcohol inhibits erections. Be friendly and polite. You may become regulars and you can’t have too many friends. Have fun and report back.

So my wife and I are going to the Riverside Club in West Virginia for our first club expierence. Does anybody have any experience there? We are rather new to exploring this lifestyle and we are nervous and excited all at once. I was just wondering if anyone might help me out with what to expect.

Public Service Announcement if you are new to a team, committee, social group etc. Maybe consider listening 10 times as much as you talk, integrate yourself into the group slowly, pick your spots to make meaningful remarks, support others in the group. If you do this you may find that you are welcomed and are brought into the fold. Alternatively, you can monopolize every conversation (relevant or not) to the point where even casual observers are sick of your shit - and then complain that you are treated roughly.

Been reading your responses regarding what’s right or wrong, you are too opinionated when you have no experience. Like others I wonder what your agenda is. Are you preaching on the sins of the mind? Swinging involves letting you and a partner enjoy others not just you. 100% I would want my friend finish off my wife, I get to do that everyday. Unless you are comfortable with that you should not swing and should not make statements on other’s wants.

You found a unicorn, tagged her and set her free...?!! Booking flight to West Virginia now...what city was this? Any chance she was part of a heard? Loved you sharing your experience...you are so very lucky.

Hello, Total newbies to the site and lifestyle here but I wanted to share this story my wife wrote about our expirence last weekend. For years, I have wanted to be with a woman. Only recently have I had the courage to admit it to my husband, after several conversations, a couple of trips to the strip club and hours of searching different apps and swinger websites, we found the elusive unicorn. We decided to go on a last-minute date night trip to a strip club in West Virginia. I was wanting another VIP experience in the club, and my husband was more than down to go as well. So, we packed our bags with our sexiest outfits and drove the couple of hours to West Virginia for our experience, leaving the kids with grandma. We planned on having a few drinks and left the car at the hotel, taking a Lyft to the club. Since we had only been to clubs in Vegas, we had dressed to the 9s to go to the club in West Virginia. Boy, did we feel over dressed, but I am glad we did it. I was wearing a very cute dress with a tank style top that is tight around the breast and upper stomach and goes loose with and under lace slip. That dress had several of the strippers complimenting me, and paying extra attention to me. I was loving it, and spent a fair amount of time with the strippers at the bar. A young, beautiful lady who was also a customer at the club complimented me on my dress as well. We spoke for a bit at the bar and she added me to her social media accounts. I was absolutely amazed because she was about half our age and gorgeous. This beautiful girl has a little shorter then me, probably at around 5’5”, curvey in just the right places, beautiful curly hair and the biggest smile. We will call her Angel, because that is what she is to us. A little later my husband and I were at the stage watching the beautiful ladies at the full nude club and I see Angel walking by, again by herself. I ask if she is there by herself (she was there supporting her cousin who was a stripper) and asked her to join us. She sat right next to me and we talked about how beautiful the girls were and how talented they were. My husband was great at keeping the drinks coming. However, he likes to have a cigar when he drinks, so we went outside. Angel also smoked and came with us. It was cold outside, but I had the warmth of all the vodka shots. Angel was cold, so I gave her my sweater as we talked about our likes and desires. I mentioned that I really wanted to go down on a girl and make her come. I really was looking to lick her, play with her boobs, kiss her and please her in all sorts of ways while my husband fucked her, but we haven’t found a girl that was interested in that yet. She pipped up with “Me, I am interested. You can make me cum!” To which I said, lets go. She of course hesitated, and was afraid at first. She leaned in and kissed me as a test. Her lips were soft and gentle. I had never kissed a girl before. I never had thought that I would enjoy kissing so much, but I loved the feel of her silky, tender lips on mine. She wasn’t ready to go with us yet, she was nervous that my husband (we call him Bear) wouldn’t like her, or that I would get jealous. She wanted to kiss him, which I told her to do. This took my husband completely off guard, but he was completely aroused. She leaned away and said “Ok, I’ll do it”. While we were sitting there, I start to order the Lyft to get us back to the hotel, but she starts kissing me again. I start feeling her breast, and they are soft and perfectly sized. I rub her nipple through her crop top while slipping my tongue in her mouth, through those soft lips. She takes my hand and lowers it to her pants. I slip my hand down and touch her wet pussy, right there in the smoking pit of the strip club. All the men outside are watching us, enthralled by our show. She moves over to Bear and straddles him on the chair, making out with him there. That is when security came and kicked her out. Not us, just her. We quickly ordered the Lyft and met her outside. I was afraid she would change her mind and leave, but she waited for our ride and got in. As soon as we got in the Lyft she starts making out with me. I feel her perfect breasts, kiss her neck and move my hand to her pussy again. She is begging for more and moaning like crazy. I am so embarrassed that the driver is hearing all of this. I later found out that Bear caught him watching in the rearview mirror and lifted Angel’s shirt to “treat” the driver. As it is getting hotter, Angel is getting louder. Both Bear and I are kissing her, feeling her up and rubbing her pussy. I have to keep telling her to “shhh, do not cum yet, wait for the hotel”. She does, but her eyes pleaded with her mouth agape in an O shape. It was amazing. We get to the hotel and rush in directly to the elevator. We continue to make out in the elevator as we just try to make it to the room. It seems like ages, but we finely make it to the room. As soon as we walk in the door Angel starts stripping clothes off. Bear unzips me and while he undresses, I lay Angel on the bed kissing down her body. I spread her legs and gaze at a perfect and fully engorged clitoris and pussy. This is it, I finally get to taste a pussy. I lean down and lick her. She moans so loud, I worry about the other people in the hotel. As I lick her pussy, borrowing my face in, Bear is kissing her and messaging her breasts. She is utterly enjoying every second and was louder then most porn stars! Bear comes down and asks if he can have a taste. I move slightly to allow his face in to lick her pussy while I insert a finger in her pussy to find her G-spot. After just a few seconds she cums. When I say she cums, I mean HARD. She screams and SQUIRTS. She squirts all over the bed. It was amazing. Now, I am not a woman that can have multiple orgasms. Angel, however, can. After just a second she is ready to go again. Now she wants to be fucked by Bear. I really want to have her on top and facing backwards, but she is not ready for that. So, Bear hopes on her missionary style while she begs for it harder and rougher. I continue to play with her boobs, clit and Bear’s balls. My husband and I ravish her for hours. She came so many times that I could not keep track. Bear was super worried before hand that he would only cum once, then be on the sidelines for the rest of the night. That did not happen. He was so turned on by what Angel and I were doing, and that he was having sex with a new woman for the first time in over 20 years he had more stamina and enthusiasm then ever before. He also came over 6 times that night! After several hours, Angel was wore out and sore. She fell asleep in the bed, and while she slept next to me, Bear took me, fucking me hard and making me cum like I had never before. We slept with Angel between us. That was incredibly hot in itself. After about a 3 hour nap both Bear and I wake up horny. We both start rubbing Angel’s back in a sensual way. After a few minutes of rubbing her back she starts to moan softly and lean her butt into Bear’s crotch. I went down on her again, making her some several more times. She again asked to be fucked by Bear. They started doggy style, but moved to Angel on top facing forward. I rub her clit as she fucks Bear. She quickly reaches a screaming orgasm. Bear has not finished yet, but Angel is sore, so we are done for the day. We drove her home and haven’t heard from her sense. We hope it was not a one time deal, but we found the elusive unicorn. I hope to see my rainbow squirting unicorn again, but I know how lucky we are to have found her at all.

having feelings means that you are a human and not an wild animal, so feeling a bit jealous is ok, talk with her, may she was turned on by the fact that you are there watching. and after all, there is the possessive dysfunctional jealousy and the sweet romantic, I'm sure you fall in the 2nd cat.

I envy you! We ALL had to get up early the next day, go to work, etc. No debriefing yet, but we keep the comm lines open. I am quickly building to the point of just coming home and taking her right then .

Thanks to all who replied! Let me start off by saying that I wanted her to finish and get the full effect of being ravished. Yes I too believe that it was the "new toy" syndrome but at the same time she knew he was recovered enough and I was still recovering. Also interestingly enough, his technique was very different from mine, now that I remember it all. But I will chalk it up to a trade-off. He is into the bdsm lifestyle, something that she has an interest in. He was there to train both of us, me to Dom/ her to sub. So I knew sex was going to be a part of it, and I wanted to share my wife's fantasy of taking on two men. We had already done as much as two guys could do, and she still wanted more. So I left the room so she could concentrate on her orgasm, and let them go at it again. I will say that I have come a long way from when she first met him(I was devastated, but I had agreed to it) and was completely comfortable with eveything that was going on. It was just that I have only brought her to g spot orgasm during intercourse twice in 7 years and it was during a lengthy session for that matter( clitoral orgasms aplenty! ). After thinking it over, I must conclude that it was all about positions, and having seen the way he did it, I know that I will too. Just had to be awakened from boring, routine-sex and I think this did the trick. And to tnohcpl, you're right . This beautiful creature is at home, with me. And that makes all the difference.

This is a good question, and one that I’ve somewhat faced, but not to this extent. My wife and I have only been in this lifestyle for three months and we have had two experiences with one couple and been to two private parties, where my wife got jiggy wit’ it at both (the most recent last weekend). So here are my feelings as a newbie. My wife didn’t orgasm in either of the two experiences with the other couple, or at the first party where four guys went down on her one after the other and then I got her off when I went down on her. She said one of the guys was really good at giving oral, but she just couldn’t get over the edge until I took over, because, she says, it was the familiarity of being me. At the party last weekend we ended up in a bedroom with another couple but the experience was strictly between the girls, and she came hard with the other woman. It took her quite a while even though my wife said she was really good at oral, it was me there kissing her and telling her I want to see her cum that did it. The common denominator in the equation both times was me in one-fashion-or-another. Which is really cool. Now, my wife is very vocal and physical when she comes; body jerking, spasms, etc. So watching her cum is exciting in-of-itself. The woman’s husband was thoroughly wowed by it. And for a little while afterward I felt kind of strange because for the first time I watched someone else make her cum really hard, as hard as I do. I think watching a man make her cum like that would be even harder (male ego I guess). It boils down to even though I want her to have a really good time, I don’t want to be playing second chair in my own band, either. So I understand how you are feeling. And how do you talk to her about it without making her feel guilty about having fun? I think one thing to remember (and I tell myself over and over) is that the sex is not better, it’s just different. And sometimes it is the situation, not the other partner that makes it so good. She probably would have cum just as hard with you. Do you remember sex with another woman that was really good and more memorable than regular old home bedroom sex because maybe it was the situation? Maybe you did it where you could be caught? Or it was really spontaneous? Same thing. You don't pine for it, it's just a memory. It’s not BETTER than sex with your spouse, it was just DIFFERENT and the situation was DIFFERENT. Now, the only thing that would personally hurt my feel-bads, and maybe is really bothering you, is that she could (should?) have picked you to finish, but she didn’t. Add to it that it was an ex-lover just multiplies the feelings you are having (this is the reason we have a “no ex” rule). At the party where the four guys went down on my wife, one of their wife’s was going down on me while her husband ate my wife out, and after we finished and stepped back from the group, all the other guys pounced on her. What I loved the most as I watched was when the time came and she was ready to go home, she pushed them all aside, straddled her husband and finished the night with him, in front of everyone. The message we all got was “you were all great, BUT THIS IS MY MAN.” Even if she did cum with them, she finished the night with her husband. It was really cool to see happen, and had to be a big ego booster for hubby. This might be the real cause of your anxiety. I know it would be mine. You need to get to the heart of why you feel this way, and then present it to her in a non-confrontational manner that says “it’s okay that you had a great time, and watching you have a great time was a real turn-on for me, but next time I would appreciate it if you…” I bet she does, too. You two are really, really new, and toes will be stepped-on on both sides, so openly communicating about it will be very important. With every experience we are finding new things out that we never thought of. WS

I enjoy watching my wife have fantastic orgasms with our playmate. When the two of us make love, she gets off several times, but when we have a threesome, the newness of the other man is obviously more erotic and often he is the one who brings her to climax most often. After all, the MFM threesomes are what makes her fantasies come true and I'm glad she enjoys them.

knowing that you love her and she loves you, and you want to see her happy and satisified then thats what it's about. also she went home with you that's all that counts. my opinion with mfm is that it is for the enjoyment of all especially for the female. she gets the well deserved attention. that's my thoughts whatever it's worth

Well, try thinking of it this way: you both were responsible for getting her close. It just so happened that he was the one that took her over the edge. It could just have easily been you, right? I wonder though, if this has anything to do with you knowing of her previous experience with him? Perhaps it's something to ponder anyway... -B

I totally agree with Julie on the performance thing. Us females have the same problem as guys, its just thought about as much I think b/c its not so "visual," lol. We haven't had too many experiences, 2 couples & a few mfm. They have been spread out over a 2 year period, so everytime we have an experience it sort of feels like the first time all over again. I have yet to have had an orgasm by another guys at all. Your girl just might have been nervous & it just so happened the orgasm happened with him. But never discount your feelings. They are very natural & justified. I would sit down & talk with her. Chances are talking about it yo her & explaining how you feel & her explaining the situation will help. Like I said we haven't had too many experiences, sometimes we have a little jealous feeling, but we talk about it, then it feels all better!

Men aren't the only ones who have "performance" issues, it's just that for women it's not as obvious and typically manifests itself in different ways.... 1. We have a hard time getting wet, but more likely it's 2. It takes a lot longer than normal for us to have an orgasm (if we can at all). So this being your first 3some there's a lot of anxiety involved. On her end she's worried about how you feel seeing her with another guy (are you jealous, is she doing anything that might make you upset?, etc). So keep all that in mind. That's not to discount your feelings as there are just as many thoughts running through your head before and after. Which leads me to one question. Was there an option of YOU going again with her to be the one to get her off? Or were you still recovering? If it had not been him, would she have gotten off at all? Keep in mind that often with us ladies if we are close and we don't get it THEN, waiting and starting is like starting all over again and she may never have. If it was a situation where you and he were both ready to go again and she chose him over you then I can see where that would lead to some jealousy, and the only answer I can give you there is "new toy syndrome" (even if she's had him before, he's the rarity whereas you she can have anytime, which means even again after he leaves or you guys get home).

Why is that when someone has an opinion and when they are learning about the lifestyle and they have a question or or question what somebody is doing or what somebody is saying, its always some response, you’re not in the lifestyle so you have no opinion at all. Don’t you think that’s a little rude to tell someone you should not have an opinion at all because you aren’t in the lifestyle even though you are learning about it. I have been to a club with a friend of mine and his wife and it wasn’t a very good time and my wife freaked out. But yes I am not in the lifestyle completely but I’m sitting here learning from everyone else. So regardless I still have an opinion. Sorry if you don’t like that.