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Pretty much the exact same thing for me. I don't really fantasize about other women when having sex with my GF but I will think about times she had sex with other guys especially if I wasn't there. It could be some guys she sucked off at a bar a few weeks back or how she fucked her boss at work earlier that day. Either way I enjoy both thinking about it and hearing her tell me the stories before and during sex. My GF know I love this stuff so she will sometime send me texts about sex she just had with a guy or pictures of it. One time we were having sex doggy style talking about it and she handed me her cell phone and said click play. I see her a video of her on her knees sucking some guy off until he cums on her face. The video only lasted 2 minutes and so did I ?

Do you and your SO fantasize while having sex? What are your greatest fantasies? Amy just told me that when we make love she fantisizes that I am her lover. This started after the first time her and Ken had sex together and she experienced lots of new things. Now when she rides on top she pretends that it's Ken filling her pussy with cum. I must confess that somegimes when I am about to cum I think about my first bareback sex.

My wife is conservative as all hell. She is my polar opposite in basically every way sexually, and in 7 years of marriage where she is perfectly content with a dwindling weekly sex routine, I’ve been fantasizing about ways to spice it up. We’ve recently got into very light role playing, but nothing what compares to where my fantasies take me and I was feeling quite sexually frustrated. Being very open with each other, we spoke about this and I found mysef No real reason for this post specifically, sort of airing out some thoughts in a community well experienced. Comments, critiques, advice welcomed! Likely this will be super long too. Idk any other way! Ha My wife is conservative as all hell. She is my polar opposite in basically every way sexually, and in 7 years of marriage where she is perfectly content with a dwindling weekly sex routine, I’ve been fantasizing about ways to spice it up. We’ve recently got into very light role playing, but nothing what compares to where my fantasies take me and I was feeling quite sexually frustrated. Being very open with each other, we spoke about this and I found myself slipping out that I will often fantasize about her with another man. Of course this immediately sparked the “WTF” look and utter confusion. I explained o her the best I could about the fantasy being in the loss of “control”, and the spark of a competitive natural ‘whatever’ that surrounded it. Confused, but promising that she would consider / research (Aka talk to her best friend lol) about how she’s supposed to take it. Context / Background - Wife is an accomplished athlete and is currently coaching at a high level (endurance and power sport - omitted but every 4 years, you might have seen her at a certain international sporting competition) she is crazy stunning, hella focused and because of her sports life growing up, never really did the crazy ‘college years’ (I can’t say the same for myself. Basically she doesn’t ‘naturally’ default to sex, she’s never had a one-night-stand, and for sure has never used her body to intentionally arouse others. A little time passes since our talk and I wasn’t going to bring it up or pressure, but I didn’t have to as she casually brought it up a little bit later. Her out of the gate response was ‘no’ for fear she wouldn’t be able to separate sex and emotion (I understand this is a magical power that men have… ha). She went on to say that this fantasy, she’s afraid, might also open doors for me to have grounds to sleep with other women (to which I explained the “negotiation” part of the swinging journey): she was quite relieved after hearing that it as t the intent and we would agree that it’s not me scamming to sleep with other women. We then spoke about it as so “as a matter-of-factl like you would talk to your work team on how to tackle the upcoming week. She started asking specific questions / situations to attempt to gauge what it would look like in practice. She asked if she would just go out, come back and I’d “never know”, or would it need to be sex, or would any other “base” suffice. She made it clear that she wouldn’t want me in the room as it would make her awkward, and that if anything would happen to this effect, it would need to be an organic and natural situation (I.e. not setting it up with a friend or a swing group). We agreed to try a couple “test runs” and dip the toes into the water before a full deep dive (ended up doing three). She wanted to know for sure that I wouldn’t be jealous or have something ruined (hey, apparently it’s common for regret and resentment, so kudos for her research) Here were our “Trial Runs” 1) (per the advice of one of these group boards) we went out to a lounge / bar and let the men hit on her / swap numbers. (I loved the confidence boost this gave her). She wore a sexy AF dress, the lowest cut blouse I’ve ever seen her not cover up, her hair looked professionally done, and my god it was amazing sex h that night (with me, though there were two guys in particular that could have given me a run for my money) 2) a couple weeks later, We went separately to a Starbucks Patio. I was already there and she jogged / walked. She didn’t wear a bra for the run (apparently that is much worse than a would know lol) and she sat a row over And a couple tables away from me while she had her whatever drink and casually texting ignoring everyone around. Her blouse was ‘casual’ not designed low cut, but this was a little large on her. When she sat at an angle or the wind would push it against her, there was no avoiding seeing her nipples through the shirt, and though there were only a few people there, it was noticed. We sat there for maybe 10 minutes before a couple in their 20’s sat down. The girlfriend had her back to my wife seated across from her boyfriend with a full view. I was seated facing the same way as him, but I couldn’t see his face, and he had glasses on (stellar move for men). I sent her a text asking if he noticed her. She didn’t reply, but clearly read the text and that prompted her to stand up, stretch her arms behind her body while taking a little step behind this guys girlfriend. This maneuver pressed her nipples as far out as they could possibly go, and the guy clearly moved so he could watch my wife behind his girlfriend. What happened next I don’t know if she planned, or took advantage of her untied shoe but she didn’t sit back down, just started collecting her things and squatted down to put her book into her backpack. Still facing this guy, she bends over to tie her shoe, and from his angle, all he would need to have done to see my wife’s bare breast was look up. There’s no doubt in my mind that he did. She said she was too nervous to look up. I was instantly hard. 3) The final “thing” was to be nude somewhere online. I suggested a site like OnlyFans, or any Other ones that anyone can sign up on and broadcast. She wore a mask (like a feathery one / lace sort of on and the deal was that I would be able to watch her, while I was in our bedroom, but I wasn’t permitted to know the site she was on, or to see the conversations she was having (if at all) or how many people were watching my wife casually take her cloths off sort of one item at a time. My heart was about a million miles a minute the entire time, and I found myself hyper fixated on her eyes and her mouth. Around the ball mask or whatever it was She was clearly nervous and uncomfortable at first, but it didn’t stop her from stripping down to just her panties. She was wearing my headphones so I couldn’t hear any notifications, and she was trying but the two times she spoke out of habit, “thank you” was said through a shaky voice and I felt crazy protective. I wanted to ask her if she wanted to stop, but we agreed that I would be a fly on the wall. Only once did she move her panties over to expose all of her, and it must have been on request, or a tip or something because it certainly wasn’t enough to get her to orgasm. I thought I would easily have been able to jerk off twice watching her, but with my heart rate as high as it was and trying to analyze if she was actually okay with all this, it wasn’t going to happen at last sitting in that arm chair. I didn’t time the whole experience, but I would say it was about 30 minutes of streaming. She closed the computer, and left to the bathroom. It was a mood I didn’t expect. No one was upset, frankly I love the idea that she did it. She seemed to be okay doing it, but you could tell that she won’t make a profession out of being a “cam girl”… so I think. She asked if I came, and when I said no, she grabbed the lube and started rubbing. I asked her how many people were watching her…. She said she’s not going to tell me. I asked what site it was, she said she’s not telling me. I asked why now hat it’s over she said, while still stroking my dick, that she enjoyed strangers looking at her and she intends to do it again, but doesn’t want me getting notifications or finding her on there. I think I came within two strokes from there. Flash forward to earlier today: There’s a friends wedding on Saturday and I couldn’t make it because of work, so she RSVP’d for her alone. Wife’s best friend (who she spoke to about all this a couple months ago) texted her a couple days ago and asked if she “was still planning on… you know”. Wife won’t say any details to me until whatever we end up doing is “done”, but the long and the short of it is that there will be someone there that she will ‘very likely’ be able to do whatever with. Here are the terms. I will not hear any of he details until she is home, and she won’t tell me if she is going to be staying in the hotel, or coming home. This person isn’t someone as a friend in daily life, and doesn’t live locally. Numbers won’t be exchanged and no ongoing contact. If she is going to do it, she can’t have limitations on what or how far they go. She will be 100% truthful, honest and detailed. Including the details of the broadcast show. We will instantly f**k when she comes home and tells me what’s up. If there are photos, he’s not permitted to keep or take any with his phone. I have the craziest mixed feelings about all this, but it’s 100% what I wanted. There’s something about her withholding all the details that feels like a dirty negotiation and that is adding to it all. She’s basically not going to tell me anything I want to know about the video broadcast until she fools around with this guy and tells me all together… so it feels like I’m being manipulated and used…. But in the best way possible. saturdybis going to be a long day. I won’t know if I’m seeing her late that night, the next morning, or later. I’m not to call, I’m not to text, my job is to wait patiently while my wife finishes emptying this complete strangers dick as many times or as few times as she feels she wants to overnight 100 miles away… as I wrote that last sentence, my dick grew harder than I think it has in 10 years… In 48 hours, my wife is going to do to another man’s body everything she’s done to me. fuck me. ///////

1. No 2. It doesn't matter, it's my choice either way, which I would make with my husband.

Solid idea!!!!!! And she’s all about leading. I just posted a text convo (needs approval) but she’s epic at mind fucking

I was in a relationship when i started dating my present partner but it never occurred to me i was being non-monogamous during that time. But later, i realized it was 🙂

Agree. We are the same as it relates to truly single singles. We pretty much are only available on Saturday nights. That certainly take the wind out of most married guys sails. Also red flags with only available to meet weekday during the day. If you want to call it judgemental, then fine but, if you are willing to cheat, lie, and disrespect the person you swore lifelong devotion, what are you willing to hide from a piece of ass you found on the internet? Judgmental? Maybe? Protecting ourselves? Absolutely.

When you are back together, tell her and show her that you love her (buy her something she wants) and let her talk it out as little or much as she prefers, no pressure. Do it right and it will all only get better from there.

I agree with everything you said. I find the above quote particularly thought provoking. It is an observation that implies, correctly in contemporary thinking, that having more than one sex partner isn't being nonmonogamous so long as there is no relationship beyond the sex. Which leads to the interesting conclusion that two people in a sexual relationship, with both having other sex partners, are not considered nonmonogamous unless they develop feelings between them and continue to have sex with others.

I don't get texts or pictures, just sloppy seconds, which I prefer.

My husband said that to me too but he also said having sex with me was like a fantasy.

I lived out my fantasy when I had sex with my wife and this other beautiful girl I would say it was a fantasy fulfilled.

Same for “single” females. Married is the hard line. Attached (LTR, living together, etc.) is still are line I don’t think we would cross for male or female. FWB, sounds more like f—- buddies than attached. So would consider it. As far as female vs. male, has never come up. It’s always the guys approaching to meet.

We're checking this out and curious if there are other Persians / Iranians that swing here.

These are men who put finding a woman who would be monogamous with them above sexual interest and are now desperate for sex. They should have married a woman who demonstrated a higher sex drive than theirs and let her play as she needed. Not that I had so much foresight, but that's how it ended up with my wife and me. When she was single, my wife had relationships mostly with married men for a number of reasons I've talked about before; some women as well, but I think most were single. After we married and I decided that she should play again, one of my three rules was unless the spouse approved, no married men (or women) both for ethical reasons as well as practical ones.

My wife and I were out with another couple who is almost certainly vanilla. In telling us how they met, they both admitted that when they first started "sleeping together" they were both in relationships that included sex with someone else, she even living with another guy. They got things sorted out, fell more deeply in love, moved in together, got married. So I was was wondering, who else among us started this way? It's probably not all that unusual even among non-swingers to transition to new love interests while overlapping with an old sex partner.

We have never had a woman in an open relationship message us in the many years we have been online! Seldom even see profiles of women in open relationships. Makes you wonder how open these relationships are? Messages from guys claiming to be in an open relationship almost daily. We we have been messaged by attached women that were not in open relationships though! We did not take them up on their offer either. Just not the kind of people we want to spend any of our time with. People that care so little about their own spouse are not people we are attracted too. For us attached is two people that are in a committed relationship! Meaning they love each other and look at each other as a life partner regardless of what their rules are. FWB does not count as attached.

Obviously, the man should have notified the woman when he could not locate the condom. When you engage in intimate acts, you owe your partner heightened consideration and collaboration. Some people are just selfish. Bad partners. I have seen similar inconsiderate male behavior, such as unsheathed penis poking around a woman’s vag when the male knows the woman wants to use a condom.

The issue was not pregnancy but I totally agree that it would be a decision made by my friend. What a mess that would be! The issue for me was the total lack of respect. He put her health in danger and did not say a word. WTF is that?

But if I, as a man, impregnate a female swinging partner, it’s her decision whether to continue a pregnancy. She has no obligation to ask me, but I could be responsible for child support. It’s a risk for male swingers.

For quite a while now, I fantasize that David is not my husband, is married to some other woman, and she lets me fuck him. When he ejaculates, I feel like I'm stealing cum that belongs to another woman, his wife.

... and as it should be. A new normal.

She texted me one last time last night to make sure I was still good. Then she sent me a couple photos this AM from the AirBnb….. it’s fucking intense. Sh comes home tomorrow

Good point. But two things to worry about 1. Has your state outlawed abortion and/or Plan B? 2. Is your sex partner opposed to abortion and, if impregnated, would want to keep the baby?

That's very bad and not acceptable. The man should have a concern about the seriousness involved in it. Its not about pregnancy it can be avoided by the after pill,but std and infections are very serious life threatening issues.

I don't think pregnancy is something she was concerned about. I was just pretty shocked that the guy just carried on as if nothing had happened. She was shocked when she found it! UGH! I asked her if she knows the guy and she does. I told her she should say something!

That's impressive. What was it about each other and your relationship that resulted in such a transition?

I love the mess. I'm attracted to the a part of man left inside her.

Just to be sure, there's Plan B.

I didn't ANY sex ed in eighth grade. Went to a catholic school and sex was never discussed. I don't think I had ANY sex ed until at least 10th grade (private school by that time, not Catholic School anymore). I don't know if I knew that until I started having sex in my 20's. ( I led kind of a sheltered existence )

I did have this happen with a play partner. I notified her immediately! I was very embarrassed and my wife was mad at me. (She was in the same bed, next to me, with the woman’s bf ). The woman took it totally in stride, had a good sense of humor. We didn’t find it after a brief search, she didn’t feel like a gyno exam, so the search was suspended. She texted us that night that she found it at home. Well, in her vag while she was home. Since then, I have been highly disciplined about employing TnA83’s procedure to grasp the condom at the base of my penis and hold on for dear life. We presume our partners use backup birth control or are too old to get pregnant, but college is expensive nowadays.

When using rubbers, the guy should pull out immediately or at least before he loses his erection. He must grasp the base of the penis, thereby removing the spent/full condom so that there is no contact with its contents and the girl's vagina. We learned this in eighth grade. (I'm now 62) Because the girl has the most to lose, she shares in following this protocol. However, it's disgusting that a guy would be so uncaring towards his play partner that he would let the condom slip off in the first place, and then not say anything about it? He must not have been interested at all in a repeat performance.

That's the important thing. Not only do most people now believe that having lovers before marriage ok, but also more and more people are beginning to believe that having multiple lovers at one time is expected and ok, at least before marriage.

Certainly true. I guess what I'm really getting at is that the situation described in the OP might not be considered "non-monogamy" by a lot of people, as much as just "not yet being exclusive". I remember a discussion on here with a kind-hearted gentleman who was genuinely surprised to realize that vanilla women he was dating might be allowing him to buy them dinner despite already having undisclosed casual sex partners, apparently believing there was an unspoken etiquette there that both sex and picking up the check naturally implied exclusivity. That isn't just generational. I recall some fairly substantial differences in casual sex norms regionally, too.

Our Story started when we were in the University I was 20 and Tomy was 22 and we both have had lost the virginity and I was dating a guy at her hometown before moving to Houston. the first year of college Tomy was dating some and had my fun and sex with them but I was not dating any one by that time I broke up with the guy at hometown and then in the second year we started dating and as soon as we started dating, we kissed and had sex and after a month or so we had our holidays and I was back home and met my ex and we were having sex and when i returned back told tomy what happened he accepted and from then till now 15 years after we grew in the relationship and had opened to become swingers and then open relationship.

I admire her as a freedom fighter so to speak. It is my hope that we can all get to that point, seeing it as no big deal, and there are no consequences.

She is an exhibitionist and likes to be filmed and have pictures taken. Like I've said before, she is an adult and can make her own decisions. Personally I would not allow anyone to use a camera if I'm involved as I do not want to be filmed or have pictures taken of me for those reasons. She is different. She enjoys the excitement of it.

I often fantasize that when my wife is riding me, that a "friend" is licking her butt. I've told her of this fantasy and it's quite arousing.