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As a woman, I totally understand. I would never have sex with a condom, and have always chosen my partners (and my birth control) so I don't need to.

Thanks, I honestly didn’t realize there was a difference but it makes more sense now. I guess what we’ve been doing is FFM since everyone played with everyone. btw I made my position clear and that’s the end of that hopefully. I even said no to the FFM threesomes and are basically just chilling on ls for now. there was some pushback but this was one position I wasn’t willing to compromise on. It’s weird because I’ll see MFM in couples porn occasionally or on sites like these and it’s very hot, but I can’t bring myself to it just yet. I’m sure I’d be down with couple swap but for now we’re gonna cool it i appreciate all advice given on this topic and wish I’d been on this forum sooner, very mature discourse on a very delicate subject. people in general already tapdance around vanilla sex and so it’s nice to see direct discussion on LS sex

I agree with everyone here. What was stated in the heat of the moment and when everything is crumbling are two completely different universes. A sleeping location is not the place to solve problems. It is for having sex, so have fun with it. After you've both cooled down, bring it up and debate if this is something you like as a game or if you're truly interested in digging into it. Using toys and saying inappropriate things is far different from really witnessing someone you care about with someone else.

Well my true first MFM was in college. Drunk and at a party with a guy I was kind of dating and his best friend. Drunk as well the three of us ended back at my apartment and in my room enjoying ourselves. Fast forward to after being married and being open to swinging and it happened with one of my coworkers at the time. I was working at a store as loss prevention and we hired a new guy that I was to be training. Basically our job was to watch people shopping on security cameras or go out and walk around the store as shoppers and see if we saw anything. This meant a lot of time together and talking so him and I got close and he began referring to me as his best friend quite frequently with some flirting as well. Not to hide anything from my husband I did introduce the two of them and they got along well so it was not uncommon for the three of us to hangout or spend time together. My husband would often say that he felt my coworker had a crush on me and wanted to be more than best friends. The three of us ended up going on vacation together and one night while on vacation we were enjoying a hot tub and a fair amount of drinks. Apparently my coworker was being quite flirty but I had not really noticed but it caught my husband's attention. At one point my coworker went to get a few more drinks and my husband and I had a quick conversation about this and should we see what would happen if we played into it. My coworker returned and we enjoyed our drinks and I was a bit more flirty myself before my husband decided to be the bold one and suggest we go up to our room and see what happens. I do not think either man even hesitated and soon we were back at the room enjoying ourselves.

For us it was always about the wife back home. We did not want to be involved with the deceit. We have got dressed and walked out. As for the male/male, it is about many things regarding sexuality. Often times, the fantasy is better than the reality.

Hello I’m after other peoples thoughts on a topic I have, me and my wife are happily married for 7 years both in our 30s and have great sex together. Now while we have sex we have a bit of fantasy type dirty talk and it’s great now it gets saucy and she says she would fuck someone else and she would even go bareback with them, now some my think I’m crazy but that thought drives my dick wild! Now the other bit of this is when we don’t get in that sexy moment it never gets mentioned, and I honestly think she wouldn’t do it. A little part of me thinks what if she did and how hot it would be seen her do it, now from others experience do you think that it’s just the heat of the moment talk or is it something she does secretly have on her mind?

There is no such thing if you care about your spouse more than yourself. If I were unable to stay within my boundaries I simply wouldn’t swing. My spouses feeling are way more important than a simple sex act. Cheating is probably also against your rules, how would you feel if he did that?

That's good. Small steps to see what works for both of you.

As others posters in this thread have recommended, talk it out coolly and calmly with your wife about what she really wants, then give it to her and make her happy. (Although the conversation will start dispassionate, you'll probably end up making love afterwards.)

Most married men who are looking to cheat think they’re slick and inventive, but it’s so easy to flush them out. We always ask for multiple video chats during the evening, and we’ve lost count of how many “single” guys then either disappear, or come up with some cockamamie excuse as to why they can only chat during the day, in their office or their car. Pathetic.

Yep, and you're a lucky guy. The only thing that I would discuss is the stranger part.

I have had sex with 12 different people. My wife on the other hand though the last time we tried to figure out how many guys she has had vaginal or anal sex with is well over 200. We aren’t aware of a exact number because in college and the first couple years after and before we were married she was known for getting drunk and fucking whatever guy was at the bar that night and obviously she can’t remember them all. We worked together before we were married, and I would always hear stories about her fucking some guy in the bathroom of the bar from other females she was out with. So if I had to guess I would say it’s prolly over 300.

Mine was back in college way before I was married. I was a bit of a wallflower and this girl named Jenny did not accept that and pulled me away from that wall and made me come out of my shell way more than I had ever before. We quickly became best friends and were always spending time together. This included going out and hunting down men together as well. One night we were at my apartment and in my room just hanging out and chatting like we had done many times before about many subjects and we started talking about what it would be like to be with another woman. Both of us by this point had kissed other women out of teasing guys or being at a party or something but what would it be like to go further. After some discussion it turned into why not see so we started playing around and seeing what it felt like.

In my experience, reality is different than fantasy. If it's worse, be mature, talk about what to do, and if you decide to move on, do so without any recriminations.

In my fantasy, I'm not particular.

I'm always amazed at the extremely positive response when female interaction is mentioned and the extremely harsh reaction when male interaction is mentioned. I've been to gay bars before, went with a couple guys and a few ladies. The club was well known for its lively dance scene on Friday nights back in the day. I was standing near the bar, taking a break from showing off my horrendous dance moves, when a guy approached. He walked up and asked "do you come here often?" I laughed and said "is that the best line you have?" We both had a laugh, I said I wasn't gay and we talked for awhile about his lousy game. I offered some better approaches, and said "you'll need to polish your lines if you're going to pick up a guy of my caliber" (he thought it was hysterical). Anyway, we all had a good time, I made a fool of myself on the dance floor a few more times and went home for the night. Why are guys so outraged when this topic comes up? If it isn't your thing, ok. If it is, ok. When you meet up with others, you should chat about what you're into. The bold, capitalized letters in some of the responses just shows an attitude that is completely unnecessary.

There is a poll on another thread about M/M activity and the resounding opinion is that it IS Acceptable. Maybe not in your bedroom... But don't pretend to speak for all of us when there is a decent chance that you don't know what you are talking about.

We won’t get involved with married men, under any circumstances. If he can’t be honest with his wife, he’s certainly not going to be honest with us.

I find this post deeply offensive. Nobody ever wants to talk about the married men that are assholes. The married guys that lack the social skills to communicate with another human being. The lame married guys that feel entitled to do or say what they want because they are married. The married guys that are always looking for someone to fuck without their wife even knowing. The married guys that post pictures of their wives and other women in their family without their consent. The married guys who do not respect other men but expect you to treat them and their wives as some sorta queen. The confused married guys who claim to be cuckold's but secretly want to be dominant and control the whole scenario. The confused married guys that act tough but be all in your DMs asking if they can suck your cock or if you will fuck them. The married guys that are lame as fuck and ride on the coattails of their wife just to give them some status. The married guys that want you to spoil their wife because they cannot. The married guys that pimp their wives out for money because they are not successful themselves. See what Im saying.....I been at this for 20+ years and each one of those descriptions is an example of married guys that I have encountered in the lifestyle. The fact that you would lump all men into the same category when you have not met all men speaks volumes for the type of human that you are. If you are really interested in improving the lifestyle then there are other ways that you can provide feedback to single guys that you feel are problematic. Lets not forget, single men are relevant in the swinging lifestyle because some married men are unable to keep up with their wives sex drive. Plus, when event planners have cash flow problems its normally the single men that make up the difference.

Don't you just love it when that happens?

Our first MFM "scene", technically, involved the two couples we played with at first. The same night she explored soft swap for the first time, we decided to try another session with the other couple. The wife from the couple we did *not* know well had gone down on me and Mrs. E was a little high on the excitement and wanted to reciprocate. Once I got hard again, it was her first spitroast, bent down over the couch in the living room of the couple we did know. We'd gone into it with a mindset that we were on a mission to explore oral and see where it went, and we were both very happy with the experience, and, in retrospect, lucky it all worked out so smoothly. Maybe more conventionally, the first time we tried pure MFM with a third alone, we were on vacation abroad. It had been a bit since we'd explored and on the ferry ride over, we talked about loosening up and trying something crazy if it came up. A couple days later, I walked away from our beach chairs for a while to get us drinks and snacks, and by the time I got back, she'd managed to attract a conversation partner while sunbathing topless. When I got back, it took her a little coaxing to discourage him from bolting but he eventually figured out what was going on and agreed to come hang out with us in our hotel room. She ended up between us on the couch, so-called "ski poling", stroking us on either side while making out with him while we fingered her. After a while, she moved her head down. After we both came, we said our goodbyes and he very quietly gave me his number in the corridor as he'd be around for a while. I figured we'd be done there, but she brought it up later that night (the next night? it's been a few years now) that she regretted going that far and not going further. I had good news in that I could invite him back, and sure enough, we met for cocktails that drifted back to the hotel and to Mrs. E getting pounded from behind, bent over my lap sucking me. I remember that he had his orgasm, it made her orgasm, and that made me orgasm. It was already *very* late when we started, and much later when I let him out of the room on the patio to the beach. I deleted the number after that. We had a blast and it really opened her up to trying to pick up thirds when we were out of town.

I use the ELMAM diet. Anybody heard of it? ... Eat Less, Move Around More

An ex-GF and I had a MFM with a friend of ours who was bi (I knew, she did not). She had expressed a curiosity of seeing two guys together so I decided to make it happen. When we got started, I whispered in her ear that I had a surprise for her. I guided her down on him and joined her there. the look on her face was great, as was his since he knew nothing of my plan beforehand. We quite enjoyed the rest of the night. He offered to blow me, but that wasn't my desire, it was strictly for her. My current wife knows the story and expressed a curiosity also and we've seen a couple of movies with this in it. She doesn't find anal between two men a turn on, but likes the oral aspect. If the opportunity is ever there, I'm not opposed, but it's not a priority to me. Whatever turns her on. While I'm not necessarily into another guy doing anal, we did just purchase a strap-on for her to try on me. You never know!!!

Well, I voted that I'm male and tolerate M/M action, just because I've tried it and it didn't float my boat so much. I mean don't get me wrong; it got me off and all. It was just... lacking something maybe? Maybe a bad partner, or the wrong time in life to try it. I don't know. Either way, I spent several years on the Seattle rave club circuit, and bore witness to some freaky goings-on. Very little would phase me I think, and although I don't really feel the urge to indulge in it again myself, I would probably sit and watch some attractive guys go at it with each other if such a spectacle were to occur during a group event or something. Well, I've admitted to some past M/M experience... According to some people in this thread, I'm now permanently shunned from the community..? Hope not, I just got here. 0.o

Let's be honest M/M activity is NOT ACCEPTABLE! in the swinging lifestyle.....men who are interested in that type of activity are gay and have plenty of places to play and a large community for support. Of course F/F activity is not only acceptable but it is welcome and encouraged.If this sounds like a double standard well then maybe your knocking on the wrong door. We have been active in the lifestyle for 4 years and I feel I can speak for many in the lifestyle who share my point of view when I say NO TO M/M ACTIVITY!