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Us as well, that seems to eliminate well over half the guys out there. Then once the “dom bulls” get flushed, you’re left with about 10% of the male pool. 😆

There is no such thing if you care about your spouse more than yourself. If I were unable to stay within my boundaries I simply wouldn’t swing. My spouses feeling are way more important than a simple sex act. Cheating is probably also against your rules, how would you feel if he did that?

We have very few rules in the lifestyle, but two of them are no married guys playing alone under any circumstance and no male on male play! Those two things will never change.

That's good. Small steps to see what works for both of you.

Thanks, I honestly didn’t realize there was a difference but it makes more sense now. I guess what we’ve been doing is FFM since everyone played with everyone. btw I made my position clear and that’s the end of that hopefully. I even said no to the FFM threesomes and are basically just chilling on ls for now. there was some pushback but this was one position I wasn’t willing to compromise on. It’s weird because I’ll see MFM in couples porn occasionally or on sites like these and it’s very hot, but I can’t bring myself to it just yet. I’m sure I’d be down with couple swap but for now we’re gonna cool it i appreciate all advice given on this topic and wish I’d been on this forum sooner, very mature discourse on a very delicate subject. people in general already tapdance around vanilla sex and so it’s nice to see direct discussion on LS sex

Most married men who are looking to cheat think they’re slick and inventive, but it’s so easy to flush them out. We always ask for multiple video chats during the evening, and we’ve lost count of how many “single” guys then either disappear, or come up with some cockamamie excuse as to why they can only chat during the day, in their office or their car. Pathetic.

We have no issues with males that are into same sex play, but have zero interest in partaking or watching it. It is not a turn on for either of us in any way. If it was happening in front of me it would make me as limp as I could possibly be. She is bi herself and still has no interest in seeing two men playing. It is okay for other people to have other interests. Doesn’t mean we want to be there for them.

A quick follow up to my above The Queen had a point. Her tubes were tied many years ago after our daughter was born. I after a few accidents while in the lifestyle I choose to get a vasectomy making me very save to play with. we were never bed hoppers so most of those we played with were regulars…many we have known for years. once I had the vasectomy done I actually experience a delightful increase in play partners.

Nice. It's the opposite for me. I have a large clit and a protruding inner labia, which is totally disproportionate to my scrawny body. The psychological torture began with my older sister telling me that I am a freak, and I was extremely self-conscious for a while. Turns out, however, that my husband and lovers like my peculiarities.

For us it was always about the wife back home. We did not want to be involved with the deceit. We have got dressed and walked out. As for the male/male, it is about many things regarding sexuality. Often times, the fantasy is better than the reality.

We won’t get involved with married men, under any circumstances. If he can’t be honest with his wife, he’s certainly not going to be honest with us.

You know Ny! Ours is a small burg but close enough to a small city so it is nice and balanced on the whole We have talked and talked about the oral play and I think I am willing to try it again. He enjoyed the action that much. Maybe I can leave the room like you say. Finding a fit healthy partner who likes couples and one on one is no small task. The late great jim Henson said There is not a word yet for old friends who have just met. — our sexy right playmate is waiting to be found!

You may think it strange, but I immediately looked at a man's testicles. A nice pair of large balls hanging separately and distinctly in his scrotum attracts me and turns me on. That's what Red has. Hubby's scrotum looks like half a wrinkled tennis ball attached down there and I have to search for his testicles. Not such a good look.

Hi Popcorn! I'm originally from New York so I know "hamlet" is an actual designation and not a character from a Shakespearean play Anyway... Congrats on your first play date with a stranger! I'm sorry it wasn't quite perfect though Some people are ok playing with "swingles", and you might get some opinions to that effect here. We are not. If the guy is willing to be dishonest to his wife, what else is he being dishonest with? Maybe he has an STD and isn't saying? Who knows? He's also willing to risk destabilizing his child's home life and world. To us, that's despicable. My wife and I have never knowingly had a threesome with a single male who was married. We do look for telltale signs, and we ask straight up if they are and why they're single. We have turned away a couple of guys who we figured out were married and cheating. If you feel horrible about participating in a guy cheating, then don't. On your feelings about having seen Mr. Popcorn having oral; that's hard to unpack. The emotions around it may take some time to figure out. It might be a thing where you're ok with the thought of him doing it, but don't want to see it. Or, it could be that you're not ok with it at all. That can be a rule for the two of you; no guy-guy play, or guy-guy is ok but not if you're in the same room. That's ok. Really, it is! Just so long as you're both on the same page and go in to future encounters with the same understanding.

For every example you gave, I could give 10+ of clueless jackasses who sent unsolicited dick pics (when we clearly state not to), and sent replies like “sup?” “still looking?” “available now”, “alpha bull here, I’ll dom both of you”, or my personal favorite “does she want my cock in her ass?” Then there are the ones who pass the initial screening, start communicating with my wife, then start asking for naked photos, and say shit like “dump that loser and let’s hook up”. So, you’re “deeply offended”? Too bad, because most single guys in this lifestyle ARE clueless idiots. They regularly fuck up a free lunch, they literally can’t read and/or control themselves.

All of the above. A piece of advice when a boundary is transgressed, a feeling hurt, a trust violated: Forgive and Remember.

I want to ditto Mr. Funk's somewhat forceful ditto. Make mine a double, please.

A hearty and somewhat forceful ditto from me. Don't tell me what I think. My in-laws do that. I severely dislike that. I severely dislike my in-laws. Can we sense a pattern here? If you enjoy M/M activity, then by all means enjoy yourself. If you don't, then by all means go do what you enjoy. Just enjoy yourself and be happy - that's the most important thing. Mr. Funk Plugging in to a more peaceful groove now.

Without making comment of a positive OR negative nature on the topic, I do offer this point of view. Of all the categorizations we humans fall into or place others in, those of us with lifestyle interests should , seemingly, be more aware than most that it is erroneous to ever speak for any save ourselves. As individuals that do not appreciate being judged by others who vary from ourselves, we should be reluctant to ever judge another based upon their variance from ourselves. If we find a goodly number of our group of friends seem to be in agreement with our point of view, we should keep in mind it is natural for those who are like-minded to gravitate to one another. It does not mean there is not an equal number of folks whose choices vary considerably from our own. We may not know them simply because we do vary so markedly from one another. That variance does not make one of us right or one of us wrong; simply different from one another. Of course, that's just my opinion ..... I could be wrong.

I would love to see a poll (thought there may already be one out there so if so, sorry) anyway- The same poll, but with f/f activity. I think we would find that f/f is far more socially acceptable. Just my 2 cents

My wife doesn't love facials, but does them for me, but she does love anal. BUT, she only does both with me. She's never done either with anybody else, and she doesn't want to go there with anybody else. Which I don't mind at all! It leaves a special sexual activity that we only do with each other, for each other.

Let's be honest M/M activity is NOT ACCEPTABLE! in the swinging lifestyle.....men who are interested in that type of activity are gay and have plenty of places to play and a large community for support. Of course F/F activity is not only acceptable but it is welcome and encouraged.If this sounds like a double standard well then maybe your knocking on the wrong door. We have been active in the lifestyle for 4 years and I feel I can speak for many in the lifestyle who share my point of view when I say NO TO M/M ACTIVITY!