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For me, there has to be a need and a strong attraction to go through the effort it takes to find a new play partner. This happened for Clair, Lora, and me when we decided that the three women/two men in our poly family no longer satisfied us women. (A result of us all getting into our thirties.) Clair, our stay-at-home mom, found Becky and Frank, parents of another student, who were in the opposite situation of her unable to provide sex. We all met and a deal was struck.

When we were young with kids at home and jobs too, middle of the night plugged in cuddles were real heart throbs🥰extending to the toes.

Hubby has a vasectomy. He got it when we started in the lifestyle. I was on the pill when we first started but my doctor raised the danger of stroke so I am not taking any birth control any longer. Hubby doesn't;'t need to wear a condom but he still does. I wish we could play bareback, the feeling of closeness is incomparable, but I can't so he chooses not to. The few times we played with a unicorn friend of ours bareback I encouraged him to cum in her so I could lick his cum out of her. It was one way we could all feel bonded and closer.

I just responded to a post about letting someone cum in your wife. What are the feelings about sloppy seconds? We have been playing with the same couple, our friends for a couple of years. We have not been using protection and it is a given that we are cumming in the wives. My wife and I had always cleaned up after sex and I figured most couple do. I hadn't gone down on her after I came. On occasion she would get me hard again before washing and we would have a second go at it. It was just my cum in her. Now with swapping new things happened. My wife would excuse herself after they finished but our friends would play as soon as he was hard again. No washing. My cum still in her or dripping out. I felt strange just watching that at first. I didn't know if I should be doing the same thing to my wife. I did one time and I felt strange but it felt the same as if I went for a second time without her washing. Maybe she was hotter or more lubed. What do others do?

We reignited our search for new swing partners and I’m wondering how others handle who they meet and why you meet. We both agree that there is magic in meeting a new partner, a feeling you have only once. We used to build relationships, make friends and have ongoing sexual play with those we met. Over the years we met those that we have remained friends with over years of play in spite of moving to different areas. With the new search in a new area we had a talk about building new circles of friends or expand to finding multiple play partners. Being honest my wife said she enjoys newness and the added excitement of new partners. I didn’t expect her to say that. The talk led to do we just meet anyone or set up standards, of course we have standards. I am excited to meet new partners too, the newness and variety many of us want but trying to keep safety a priority. Are we becoming sluts in our midlife or is it normal to want variety? Are others feeling as we do that variety is the spice we want.

Don't know if I would call it positivity, but it is rather funny. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4ZXEJytWVA&t=47s

Still thinking about to try it

Part of the fun of swinging is the novelty of new partners. Regular swing partners can get repetitive or stale. We met a couple with a three times (to play) and you’re out. Interesting.

sweet

Agreed! Too often these almost clinically detailed descriptions strike me as ludicrous. 😂 I’ve read porn descriptions of scenes exactly like ones I’ve experienced. The actuality was great, but the verbal description of an identical scene was laughable. As someone who made his living for a decade as a writer at a prestigious newspaper, I acknowledge that writing about something that’s only happened in one’s mind’s eye is way more difficult than writing non-fiction. My hat’s off to all fiction writers, erotic and otherwise, even if I find their work unreadable.

We’ve seen that commercial. Very funny. Cool that the woman was up for the swap.

Why is it that to qualify as a slut means to have continuing new partners, rather than a husband and two guys on the side? I have a variety of sex with my men (and women); more I think, than swingers who just venture out a couple of times a month. I feel left out. 😉

Meh. In General, I find graphic depictions of who's doing what to whom, putting what body part(s) into another's orifice and cries of surprise and invoking deities to be completely off-putting and distracting from what I would have hoped to have been an otherwise good story. It doesn't have to be about swingers or orgies or whatever -- even the highly-detailed descriptions (see above) in a standard one-man/one-woman romance are annoying. That said, it's the rare -- Very Rare -- smut novel that has good plot and character development that I enjoy more: I'd rather find a surprisingly good, thoughtful story in what I expected to be pure stroke/wank material, than to find needlessly graphic depictions of sex (of any kind) in a more 'mainstream' work. In the early days of the Darpanet, I discovered Metlay's "Bandit" series, and a few years ago, it was Nick Scipio's "Summer Camp" series. Both are/were surprisingly good reads.

We hate labels, slut is not in our vocabulary. We decided that one night or one hour meetings are fun, exciting, and different every time. The big problem is finding couples that only want a one time meet meaning Michael usually has sex with our regular friends. Finding single men for anonymous sex is easier, we find men at hotels or sporting events. We don’t use slut yet I can act like one if I want.

Unfortunately, we're not still together as a couple. We parted amicably, and the sex was never an issue. We've left the door open for each other if either wants to reach out. As to opening up an existing relationship, vs starting out that way... I think it's easier to start out open. But to those already in a relationship, that's not always an option. Certainly, it's better to get it out in the open as early as possible. But the reality is that many partners won't accept an open relationship, so you may have to face the hard decision.

My first threesome I got the sloppy second. I was in high school and lucky to fuck any girl. My buddy just fucked her, cum still dripping out, I went right in and added my cum.

A while ago, I met a new 18-years old co-worker (let me called him Frank here, not his real name). He got very close to me because we lived close and he always gave me a drive. For Thanksgiving this year, my GF and I decided to have a party with our friends in my apartment. After getting late, all the other friends go home, but Frank stayed longer because his place is very close by. We all got a little bit drunk. My GF is chubby (160lbs) and gets sweaty easily. So she put on her tank top. I found Frank secretly stare at my GF's boobs, I thought it was so funny and I teased him. At first, my GF was so annoyed about my teasing. But I like annoying my GF, so I suggested we play truth or dare. We all choose 'truth' to tell stories, then the questions became wilder and wilder. I asked how many girls he slept with. He told us he was still a virgin. Then my GF and I started to tease him. My GF thought virgin male would not last long. I said if he could masturbate in front of my GF without cumming in a minute, my GF can give him an HJ. And then.... as I promised, my GF gave him an HJ. At the same time, he was also touching my GF and my GF got very horny and wet. We were all in a sexual mood, and we knew he was a virgin, so I encouraged my horny GF to take his virginity. We do not have any condoms since my GF has been in birth control. So my GF was okay for him to pull out. He got close when my GF was cumming, so my GF did not let him pull out. It was so much, Frank's sperm get on the couch. After seeing my GF with another guy's sperm in her, I was so in the mood. I started to put my dick in my GF. It felt like I put warm butter on my dick. It felt amazing. After a while, I finished inside my GF too. It was the best orgasm I have had with my GF. At the same time. A lot of sperm got on our pubes like bubbles. It was gross, but we were drunk and too tired to clean up. Before Frank left, he wanted to fuck my GF again, I was okay with it. I told him it would be the last time, we would never be this wild anymore. His last fuck took about half an hour, with "a white cover" after he pulled it out. My GF used her tank top to wipe it out, and let him go. In the morning, my GF and I waked up. Our pubes smelled so bad, like dead fish. My GF felt so guilty, cuddled me all morning, told me she only loved me. I told her it was okay, I enjoyed it so much. That was a wild night. Now I'm so into sloppy seconds, but perhaps my GF will not do it in a long while.

My current GF has been curious about swinging and nonmonogamy in general, and not found anyone she could be open about it with. When we started talking, and she found that instead of the idea bothering me, I was an enthusiastic supporter, she was able to talk about some fantasies that she's never been able to say out loud before. I don't think she really believed that it was okay with me. The first time she came to me after a hot date, she was so excited to shot me her creampie, and she came almost instantly when I pushed into her. I think that afternoon, she was finally able to relax and trust that I like her, even when she's leaking another guy's cum. She's still at the early stages of the lifestyle, and I"m encouraging her to take small steps so that she's comfortable at each new experience. But so far, it's been a helluva ride. To think that several guys let this one get away... well, it certainly works out to my benefit. As to sloppy seconds (or thirds, or fifths, or whatever), the hotter and slippery-er (yes, that's a word now) she is, the better. Also, the more turned on she is the better. She gets SO turned on showing off for me, that the sex can't be anything but amazing.

Boyfriend loves it sloppy and I do too

You will like it. We husbands in our group agree - there is nothing like reclaiming your wife after she has enjoyed an afternoon or evening of sex with other men who have ejaculated inside her vagina. One recommendation to try is not to go first (or even fuck another woman or jerk off), but let the unbearable excitement build as she fucks another guy or two or three (up to her, for Daniela it depends how fast they are). I like couples swaps, but the MMFs where he goes first are also special.

I read an article in Slate magazine several years ago about why men's dicks have heads - it to scoop out the previous guys cum. Experiments were done with artificial semen, real vaginas, and dildos with and without heads. "The study of sperm competition in humans, though, is fairly new. In a study published in 2003, researchers at the State University of New York-Albany used a variety of dildos, artificial vaginas, and a homemade semen recipe to test whether the penis might be elegantly designed not only to deposit semen in the vagina, but also to remove it. The researchers speculated that when a man has sex with a woman who has recently slept with another man, the first man's semen is pulled out with the second man's penis (because it gets caught behind the second man's coronal ridge, which separates the head of the penis from the shaft). This lends meaning to the term "sloppy seconds": Sex the second time around is sloppy, because the semen that is removed ends up, well, making a mess. "The researchers found evidence to support their hypothesis: Dildos featuring a coronal ridge, like a real penis, displaced 91 percent of semen that got there first. Dildos without ridges displaced only 35 percent.... That the human penis might have evolved as a semen displacement device is "not an outrageously ridiculous idea," says Todd Shackelford, an evolutionary psychologist at Florida Atlantic University. Size, too, may matter here—the longer a man's penis is, the more likely it is to deposit semen out of reach of other men. Of course, if a man has sex with a woman twice in quick succession, then there is the risk that he will displace his own semen. But researchers believe that men have evolved ways of preventing this from happening—for instance, men usually need to "recover" for a few hours between orgasms [Petra note - the "Coolidge Effect," however, shows that a man recovers much more quickly when presented with a different woman], and they rarely continue to thrust after they ejaculate. Both of these behaviors help keep men from accidentally removing their own goods." The full article can be found at Men, women, passion, and sperm. - By Melinda Wenner - Slate Magazine So the desire and behavior is evolutionary - if some guy is fucking your partner, you want to get in there quickly afterwards, remove his semen and deposit yours, so you perceive it as "Hot."

I don't jerk off unless I'm alone, but this is me with a pussy, I like to keep it going a long time because I enjoy it so much. Problem is my ex-wife and one long-term girlfriend before her were always getting off before me and asking what's taking me so long. My wife now enjoys a long ride (even after she's just fucked and orgasmed with another guy), so were good. But I'm careful now not to overstay my welcome if I'm in another woman's pussy or ass. Other problem is that if it's late and I'm really tired, if I go too long I can't get cum. But I'll go down on the girl for a while and give it a rest, then can blow my load. You're right though, keeping it going too long can be a problem.

WTF? Who would jerk off when there was a woman available? I only do it when I'm away from family and friends.

Are we the only ones who don't play bareback? Doesn't matter how "friendly" we are, not going to happen.

While I don't seek it out not do I have a fetish, Im fine with sloppy seconds when it occurs, usually as a reconnection boink. If Mrs Doc isn't quite done after her partner is, I'm quite willing to jump in if that's her desire.

With one couple we really trusted, after a few months we decided to go bareback. After we had a session and they left, my wife and I often had reclaiming sex, as we did after couples and men where they used condoms. My wife was a freak about using tissue on herself after sex, but still when her insides were coated with our friend's sperm, it was always much silkier, lube wasn't necessary at all. Yeah, it was hot and wonderful. But still, don't let this fantasy get away from you; worry about STDs and pregnancy; play safe.