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Yes, that was and is me exactly, except I am the wife. Despite my boyfriend/fiancé/husband David letting me continue a full-on relationship with my ex-fiancée, I could not stand the thought of him doing anything with another woman. One day after about two years, a girlfriend of mine mentioned that David was good-looking and it must be nice with him in bed. I snapped, but in a good way, and said, "If you'd like that it can be arranged. Hubby thinks you're attractive too." (He never said that, but I thought it good to throw it in.) Well, she said she would like, so I did, and David was more than willing. It hurt, it burned, it drove me crazy with jealousy, but it was also good, like the burn of a hard run. Like coming off a scary roller coaster and asking, "Can we do it again?" It was an achievement, like I was stretching myself beyond old limits. As things progressed with her and a few other willing women, I not only got over my jealousy, but when I had sex with hubby it was more fantastic than ever. I am definitely not over it, but jealousy has gone from being my demon to my addiction. Knowing another woman desires David but he is my husband? Fantastic. Sex with him afterwards, knowing that he still wants, prefers, me? Wonderfully flattering. Like with most things my approach was to go full-on, all at once after I decided it was the thing to do. May I suggest, however, that you could take an incremental approach. The first step would be to go someplace where nudity is acceptable, a swing club or a nudist resort or merely with like-minded friends, and have her (and you) be naked in front of other men. Next step for you two to have sex between yourselves in front of others, a swing club or friends. After you process that together afterwards, move on to a soft swap where you watch another man put his hands on her, starting with clothes on, later naked. Then other soft swap activities: breast touching, hand jobs, fingering, blowjobs, her getting licked, etc. Along the way you will get into it, want more, and eventually full swap. And then you will be telling us here it is the best thing that ever happened to your life.

While not everyone will have the same experience, I think fucking my wife after she has been banged by another guy is HOT! Don't look at it with jealousy. She is just enjoying being pleasured. She is not in love with the guy, she loves you. She's getting fucked. It's sex. She's still going home with you.

Not a problem I have ever had! Love seeing my lady with other men. It is a huge turn on. She is just as incredible to watch as she is to be with. At the end of the day I know she loves me and loves sex with me. I am also not insecure at all about how I perform in bed. I have always been more of a giver then a taker. Honestly if you know you are going to be jealous and the thought of watching her eats you up inside then don’t do it. This lifestyle is not for everyone and that is alright.

You sound pretty normal for this point in your journey. Someone on this list once described Jealousy as fear of loss. Is that lingering in you for some reason? If it is I suggest dealing with it. It can be something a simple as dealing with a girl in your early years dumping you for another, when your age had not properly equipped you to cope, and you just buried it. Make sure that you involve your lady in your internal search. She will need to know what you have inside if anything seems to be going sideways. You may just be feeling fear that he will somehow be better. He may be. He for sure will be new and different. In my experience this was followed by a "Thank You for giving me that" directed at me . Your experience may be different, but I think it is pretty common. Ultimately though this is one of those,you will not know until you do it, things. At any rate DO NOT PROCEED until you are pretty certain that your head is screwed on straight.

It used to be that when I had a fight in our poly family (they are pretty mild BTW, little more than a disagreement) with either my husband or Red, I felt that sex was off the agenda until the issue was resolved (my way). Pretty much the same with me and Lora and Clair. But starting around Labor Day this year, late August, I started doing the opposite – I would give sex (sometimes putting it as a demand is even better) to my antagonist. It was in no way an apology or making up, it was/is angry sex. The thing is that with no apologies, no “communicating/talking it out/resolving the issues,” whatever the problem, it went/goes away. It’s not romantic or intended to be fun either. I get him into a room, any room, lock the door and quickly take my clothes off. Neither David or Red has ever been so pissed to turn me down. It’s not make-up sex like before when we would go through the process of resolving things first. It is angry sex, after which the post-coital feelings for both of us makes whatever the dispute was seem trivial. It works the same with Lora once I can get her pants down and go between her legs. Clair won’t go for it directly, but after she’s had sex with one of the men, she lets me lick her with good conclusions. So anyone else like this? It’s not the old “never go to bed mad,” it’s “go to bed mad and have angry sex,” everything will be alright. I haven’t read about this elsewhere. Anyone else use this approach to conflict resolution?

That would work when a woman does it, but would come off as a brutish power play if a man took the same approach. What Daniela and I do is pretty much the opposite. She goes to her favorite couple, and I to my favorite woman play partner, and we both get sex and some marriage counseling from other sex partners. But you're right, It makes us want one another and to get back together.

I used to be a very jealous person until I found the solution. The enemy of jealousy is trust and communication. If you have great communication, it creates great trust. With great trust comes great love. With these things, jealousy has nothing to hold onto.

Thanks for the feedback. We are going to try a Club in December to see how we feel.

As others have said, your thoughts are normal. enhancer said it correctly 'this lifestyle is not for everyone'. Visiting a club wouldn't be too bad. Most people at clubs are pretty respectful of 'no'. Many people believe that you walk into a swinger's club and you're instantly in an orgy. I know more people who were disappointed at a swinger's clubs because they couldn't get any action than those who went and found it easy to find couples to play with. And if you do go to a club, just know that your wife will get 10 times the attention you'll get. If you have any hesitation surrounding jealousy, a swinger's club could cause more because women get the attention. Unless you have an aura, a presence, look like George Clooney, etc, expect to be more anonymous while your wife gets attention.

Before my first prostate exam the Physician warned me that I might feel like I'll want to pee, that and more! He had one of the longer more educated digits that I have encountered.

I love milking my prostrate during sex. I cum really hard. I highly recommend it to all men. A finger in the ass, rubbing your prostrate and your dick busy in whatever way makes you happy.

Agreed, not sexy. However, I had a decades-long FWB, a woman who always came very easily from penetration, who told me that she often had sort of physiological orgasms during pelvic exams, sufficiently often that when she had a new Ob-Gyn she had to warn them this would likely happen. She experienced no psychological aspects of arousal during the exam and no sense of post-orgasmic satisfaction. But below the waist she came, including spasms of the muscles in her pelvis. (Given how quickly she reached orgasm when fucking doggie, with no direct stimulation of her clitoris, I found her report credible.)

Women are like that, sometimes they need to prove (to themselves? their husband? others?) that they can be a whore who gives pleasure. Daniela is like that sometimes, screw several guys in our group, then when she/we are home, be a perfect loving wife. We all have sides that come out differently at different times.

Thank you for reading and reacting to my post; I appreciate it. After reading it again myself, it's like I was drinking or on something; I do neither, it was only a really strange mood yesterday. My moods affect my sexual thoughts and behavior, which fortunately my poly family understands and accommodates (along with our boyfriend Frank and his wife Becky). And you folks here allow me to express. Thanks again.

The police report likely has a picture of her tits drawn by a sketch artist. ( . ) ( . ) They are now two of the ten most wanted.

Well, the votes have been cast, the story "What A Surprise!" has been posted. Please, if you read and enjoy it, leave a comment for me. That will encourage me to post more of my stories to this and other sites. And if there's something I can improve, go ahead and tell me so.

Yeah... saying "I love you" to a playmate would be... bad.

Using the "L" word.