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We were all newbies so thank you to the couple we met and the couples who made the experience easy for those who like us didn’t know where to start. I say we hit the lottery of swingers looking to expand into a sexual unknown. No pressure, plenty of talking and very concerned with our questions the people we met had experience with other newbies. We couldn’t be the first for a newbie when we first started, we were asked. We didn’t want to ruin a first time for a friend who learned we started swinging. I thought if something went wrong we would lose a friend. We have no regrets introducing our friends to the wonderful couple who we met for our first. The new dynamic is we are all friends now.

Regrettably, there is a reality that you won't know until you try. Set a boundary you can both respect. Start there. Don't be afraid to stop. You can't un-creampie your wife, but you might figure out pretty out pretty quickly if you like watching her get her tits sucked. For the record, having the sounds and images burned into your brain isn't always a bad thing.

Our first experience was with a couple who’d been at it for 20 years. They let us set our own pace and it turned out to be full swap. Remembering the way they handled us, why wouldn’t we “pay it forward” to newbies?

We prevent these slip-ups by... not having any rules. What do we do when something surprising happens in the heat of the moment? Celebrate afterwards. The first time my wife said "I love you" to another husband in our group? I said that I hope he feels the same, it's good to care. When another wife in our group made an unplanned stop at our house on her way home, and Daniela wasn't there? My wife later asked me if it was good and sucked my dick to confirm what happened. Heat of the moment, it's rare and good.

Unless she is the rare exception, didn't your wife fuck guys before she met you? Maybe even a little overlap between the time you guys first started fucking and when she gave up her previous sex partner? How did you live with that image in your mind? Maybe as a first step to condition yourself to the reality of the world that people, including women, including your wife, want multiple sex partners even after they get married, you two need to talk about her sexual past. Start with just asking her who (other than you) she fucked the most. Digest that thought. Days, weeks or months later ask her who she enjoyed the most (other than you), have her describe the experiences, what she really liked about her favorite sex partners. Eventually, you will not only get used to it, but also come to like the thoughts of her with another guy and take joy in the thought of her being pleased by someone else. Then slowly move on from there.

We met our first partners on a vanilla cruise and continue vacationing with them in mainstream resorts.

Living in NJ and hearing and reading that there was a nude beach close to where we were living we went to explore late one summer. We never told anyone we were going to go and prayed we wouldn’t see anyone we knew. We were very surprised how full the parking lot was and was about to go to one of the other beaches when a spot opened. Little did we know that the hesitation and finding that spot would lead to a new freedom for us. With finding that spot and a spot on the beach near two couples we learned about the history of the beach and the proper protocols of nude public bathing. Our new beach friends were friendly offering to share the wine and cheese they had, liquor has since been banned on the beach. I think it was us who brought up what we thought was illegal sex on the beach. In retrospect that innocent comment was all they needed to start the swinging talk.

I check whenever I awaken. 🙂

I have come to believe that nonmonogamy is natural. Despite the lifestyle still being considered unusual, most people have multiple partners before marriage, and many don't marry, they just "partner." And most are not for a lifetime.

More better still the time I spread my legs and knocked off three with them (hubby got sloppy thirds, but I was second for him that night). An erection and ejaculation are terrible things to waste.