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We had decided early on that we should keep track for many reasons who we met. We started by keeping our own real names and any identifying facts very secretive. We set up a special email, never gave out phone numbers or addresses and either met at neutral meeting places. We had a fear of people knowing I was bi and we were having sex with strangers. After meeting anonymously, we knew more about others, we thought what happens if they need to contact us for any number of reasons or we needed to contact them. It became my job to keep track, keep a journal. It started with just names and contact info and if we had a picture to attach. We then extended the entries to and special notes which then led to more of a narrative of what happened each time we met. The real fun was my notes didn’t always sound like the way he saw it. We kept expanding details, what could we remember. We even went as far as journaling physical attributes. We do have a type we look to but even that has gotten wider. We didn’t want facial hair at first, now we have expanded. At one point we searched out redheads, don’t be fooled by pictures. Breast size is hard to hide. We kept adding to journal categories, orgasms, easy or hard to make a woman orgasm or no orgasm. Men’s orgasms too, to soon and then we adding notes of copious, men who had major amounts. We know who was shy, exhibitionist, who was dominated in a relationship. We even added notes on sounds made. We are now even grading meetings, not every meeting is worth repeating. Are we being over obsessive in our journaling, I think it has added another fun thing we do and going back over those we met is like going through family vacation pictures. Things we would like to do again and things we did period. Do others keep track or just remember the few they met?

We reignited our search for new swing partners and I’m wondering how others handle who they meet and why you meet. We both agree that there is magic in meeting a new partner, a feeling you have only once. We used to build relationships, make friends and have ongoing sexual play with those we met. Over the years we met those that we have remained friends with over years of play in spite of moving to different areas. With the new search in a new area we had a talk about building new circles of friends or expand to finding multiple play partners. Being honest my wife said she enjoys newness and the added excitement of new partners. I didn’t expect her to say that. The talk led to do we just meet anyone or set up standards, of course we have standards. I am excited to meet new partners too, the newness and variety many of us want but trying to keep safety a priority. Are we becoming sluts in our midlife or is it normal to want variety? Are others feeling as we do that variety is the spice we want.

It used to be that when I had a fight in our poly family (they are pretty mild BTW, little more than a disagreement) with either my husband or Red, I felt that sex was off the agenda until the issue was resolved (my way). Pretty much the same with me and Lora and Clair. But starting around Labor Day this year, late August, I started doing the opposite – I would give sex (sometimes putting it as a demand is even better) to my antagonist. It was in no way an apology or making up, it was/is angry sex. The thing is that with no apologies, no “communicating/talking it out/resolving the issues,” whatever the problem, it went/goes away. It’s not romantic or intended to be fun either. I get him into a room, any room, lock the door and quickly take my clothes off. Neither David or Red has ever been so pissed to turn me down. It’s not make-up sex like before when we would go through the process of resolving things first. It is angry sex, after which the post-coital feelings for both of us makes whatever the dispute was seem trivial. It works the same with Lora once I can get her pants down and go between her legs. Clair won’t go for it directly, but after she’s had sex with one of the men, she lets me lick her with good conclusions. So anyone else like this? It’s not the old “never go to bed mad,” it’s “go to bed mad and have angry sex,” everything will be alright. I haven’t read about this elsewhere. Anyone else use this approach to conflict resolution?

Your answer is quite logical, within the limits of what is called common sense. But, as the experienced person that you are, you know that some human beings like the danger of the unknown, the challenges. Well, each couple should know what they are doing and the risks they may have in such an adventure.

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Who knows. *shrug* I've seen some weird stuff in my life.

If you asked for a male to join you on here there would be a line at your door. I don’t think there are many if any single female swingers looking to join you by herself. If you do a listing on SLS you will find that most women answering are fakes, even finding a real couple can be challenging with more pic collectors and unfortunately many no shows. Take this from a couple who like you were looking for that mythology unicorn. We finally relented and went the couple way to fulfill our fantasy. For the last couple of years we were very open to meeting couples looking for a unicorn letting them know they will not find one.

Most of the “unicorns” there are actually guys looking to collect pictures. Ask for a video chat with your wife, and they vanish like a fart in a hurricane.

Post at SLS. Your odds of finding a unicorn are low. Everyone starts with this idea, learns the harsh reality.

My understanding is that men with a big penis were considered brutish dullards in ancient times. Probably rationalization among the Greeks and Romans about the large dick barbarians.

Michael has no problem with me enjoying a random man we can talk into joining us in a hotel room. I feel the excitement of the whole meeting starts with our conversation with a stranger, how they will react and what will happen. Most men we engage are happy to get a blow job, many will have full sex. Some will get hard immediately, some can’t. Some will go 10 seconds, some go very long. I normally say size doesn’t matter yet it does in the first viewing if he is outside a normal average. Pickups are not the only meetings we have, it is a fun side of our swinging. Convincing a couple is much harder to accomplish, very rare, and then there was a one couple who we have stayed in touch with who doesn’t live near us.

Part of the fun of swinging is the novelty of new partners. Regular swing partners can get repetitive or stale. We met a couple with a three times (to play) and you’re out. Interesting.

We hate labels, slut is not in our vocabulary. We decided that one night or one hour meetings are fun, exciting, and different every time. The big problem is finding couples that only want a one time meet meaning Michael usually has sex with our regular friends. Finding single men for anonymous sex is easier, we find men at hotels or sporting events. We don’t use slut yet I can act like one if I want.

When I was young I came across a hidden treasure that led me to rushing home from school on many days. I found my father’s or should I say parent’s VCR tapes in a box in a closet. It was the first time I saw what I saw. No plot that I remember, mostly moaning and music. Did adults do that? Stupid back stories just to get to sex. Debbie and I had our first threesome with the wife of our new friends. Throughout our play I kept thinking of that old video except now I was the lucky guy being with two women. I’m laughing now that I remember the soiled socks I buried in the laundry hamper hoping my mother would notice.

They kept me busy then kept busy together and I watched. Looking back it was about me which is strange because I’m always worried how Debbie is enjoying. I am sure they enjoyed too by the sounds I heard and the playing the ladies did when I was refracting. Is that the word for getting hard again? What amazed me is how Debbie has become so relaxed in having sex with a woman. She went from never doing it to enthusiastically enjoying it.

The first time we invited a woman to join us Michael said he was the luckiest man in the world. It wasn’t the first time we had a woman join us, we had been swinging before, it was the first time he was the only man in the bed. He thought he was king for a day having been the center of attention something I have been many times. He claimed a thing he never forgot was watching me and the other woman.

A member of our office staff told us that her young children stumbled upon their sex videos, which they watched. Her daughter advised her that she saw a guy’s peanut.

I’m laughing, NO! It was difficult enough knowing my mother watched those tapes. There were plenty of tapes that kept me busy after school, if there were any of them on it I would have real traumatic stories to tell a shrink. The one video that came into my head was a babysitter and a couple. A school girl uniform on the babysitter to make her look younger even if I could tell she had to be much older. How many others learned about sex and anatomy from sex tapes? Did girls watch them alone too?

I have read notes my wife keeps on our shared computer with her knowledge. Some notes are very brief, others can be very graphic bordering on pornography. At first I didn’t know who, what or where she was meeting, we both were open that we did meet others, keeping secretive the details. Then we had an honest talk and expanded to playing together as well as alone. I don’t keep a diary that I could share , I did give her my password to emails. I also made a picture file that she has the password to. Reading and sharing is extremely sexy even if I question the why she meets some of the men she does. She has questioned my choices, that’s when I answer for both of us. Sex.

Hmmm I wonder how others would rate us. We only started in swinging LS and can tell you everything about everyone we met. I can’t imagine losing track with too many meet-ups, Possibly you can share on here parts of your journal. Don’t you have homework after sex with others? . For us part of the fun is reliving what we just did, I think journaling or blogging would extend the fun.

Isn't it racist to say any race is better than the others, at anything?...talk about stereotyping.

I met a black, German guy in Corfu. My husband and I got very friendly with him. I eventually slept with him all night. I was amazed with his size (10") and stamina. My husband couldn't wait for the details in the morning, so yes, black guys are better...

Fistfucking? -One of our favorites Shame that she seems allergic to Eros products, cause it is the best we've ever used... About the thumb; I guess the best technique varies; as we think it's easier to start with the fingers, and casually fit the thumb in between.. It takes us about a few minutes, but we only do it when I'm REALLY horny (that means; in a kinky mood to me, when thoughts of worry and shame run far away ) So I think the key words here are; relax, and lube. But all women are built differently; fisting is pretty easy for me, but we still haven't managed anal sex, no matter how my mood is... Oh yes, two more things; My bf hands are very slim, and that makes a big difference; maybe your wife should try to do it herself (weird but wonderful feeling ) first.. and the easiest position for me is 'doggy-style'... And a very last thing; maybe try rubber gloves; sometimes it makes things easier, if not safer. Be sure to cut your nails real good, as the vagina hardly has any nerves on the inside; wounds will not easily be felt => so be cautious! Have Fun!

We've been able to do this a few times, vaginally. I've never found a lube that is as good as spit, so I just try and ensure a plentiful quantity of that, plus plenty of warm-up activities of the type that make her wet. Beyond that, the biggest single thing that made a difference for me is to have her positioned just right. The other important thing is to ease the thumb in *first*, and then the fingers, rather than trying to do four fingers and then the thumb. If you do the latter, the thumb knuckle always became an insurmountable problem for us. Plus sometimes it helps to come at things "upside down", if you will. Go slow but experiment. It so happens the most intense orgasm of my life was while I was fisting her. I was lying on my back, and she was on her knees next to me, sucking my cock. Somehow we were able to get lined up right so she was able to fuck hard up and down on my fist. That was so hot, having that going on while she sucked me. That one I'll never forget.

Nice. It's the opposite for me. I have a large clit and a protruding inner labia, which is totally disproportionate to my scrawny body. The psychological torture began with my older sister telling me that I am a freak, and I was extremely self-conscious for a while. Turns out, however, that my husband and lovers like my peculiarities.