Leaderboard

I respectfully disagree. The background you don’t have, and frankly I wished you’d have asked is: This has been a discussion for us for 5 years or so. I have always prioritized my marriage. There have been times I wanted to swing, and she didn’t. Immediately, I would drop the subject, only to have her bring it up on her own. This isn’t me pushing. This is our joint desire. We feel like we’ve tried nearly everything to break the cycle of on again, off again. Have we cycled up and down? Sure. Have we learned from it? Absolutely. Are we perfect? No. But who is? Is my situation ideal? No. Hell no. I would change it if I can. I’m trying to change it. But whether we swing or not has never, and will never affect my effort in my marriage. I love my wife more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I would do, and will do anything, to make this marriage work, because it has been the greatest relationship of my life. Perhaps your comment wasn’t meant as an attack. But it certainly came off as presumptuous at best, ignorant and aggressive at worst. I choose to believe the former. That you didn’t mean to be so negative. I was simply seeking some sage advice as to whether OUR idea (joint idea see?) COULD work. Thanks to all who offered constructive support. It never mattered whether the advice was “pro” swing, or “anti” swing. I was simply seeking to partake in experienced people’s wisdom, whatever the advice, BECAUSE I don’t want to damage the relationship or marriage in any way. Thank you all.

We went back to our online account to see who is on and who we would want to meet. I am not a prude or normally wouldn’t be offended by reading or hearing and words or phrases that are sexual. I never thought of myself as foul mouthed even if I could curse with the best of the truckers on the road. I most likely have heard every word that is used in a sexual context, maybe even used them. Now I stop and feel some words are used to demean. Pussy and Cunt are the same, pussy is fine for me, cunt bothers me. A man saying he wants to fuck my pussy, an immature statement, I say of course that’s why we are on the site. A man saying he wants to fuck my cunt stops me making me think you are an asshole. Are you a Cocksucker stops me and thinks you are jerk, asking about sucking cock I can play along and tell you how I enjoy it and how I would make your toes curl. Rocky laughs at me when I’m writing to real people and the posers. He said I get too excited and upset and I should chill.

Do you ever have the problem with your husbands that sometimes playtime is supposed to be only a girl thing, but he wants to jump in? Although FFM is our go-to arrangement, sometimes we need an FF or even FFF. Just watch the damn kids.

Again couplers has sound advice.

I am the one always giving advice that is outside the box, and I will do it again. Since you're already living apart, take a break from each other and stop trying to be glued together. Date other people, have sex with them, and check in with each other at coffee and lunch to discuss your lives and how it's going. Not all marriages are meant to last, and sometimes are better if they morph into some other type of relationship. You're already partially apart, so take a break, explore, reevaluate, talk about it as friends (or even FWB), then decide what to do.

There's a saying about swinging that applies here: Swinging is a magnifying glass. What it finds, it magnifies. If there's deep love and closeness, it amplifies that. If it finds problems, it will make them worse. Your marriage seems like a volcano that occasionally goes off. I wouldn't throw swinging into it, as it will, in my opinion, make it worse.

The words we use say more about the person, less about what the words say. Alan and I can tell the gender of the person contacting us by the words and phrases they use. If we were offended by words I would insist that we quit the site we are on. Some men get it and some men don’t when it comes to meeting others for what they hope is sex. We are all on a swinger site and if you are offended by sexual terms I am wondering how you expect to overcome what will follow. I agree about disrespect, I don’t want to be disrespected while some thrive on it. A true cuckold enjoys be disrespected by others having sex with a wife. When we are contacted or contact others we can easily cut the conversation if we don’t care for what is said. We also know some men talk in a way they thinking is impressing by being worldly or macho. Women are less bragging more sincere. We are very open that we are looking for a wife who has none of little experience being with another women. Many times it’s a husband pushing, we look for a true curious woman. We always meet before committing to anything. I have plenty of stories where women can’t say face to face what they want. More than one woman couldn’t say vagina or any of the euphemisms for a vagina. Down there is a big word for women, pussy and less so cunt is used by husbands. A husband once told us his wife want her cunt eaten and the blushing wife just nodded. Another husband asked me if I’m a carpet muncher, I answered no, playing stupid I said we threw out all the carpeting. I think the OP was playing with the man who contacted them. Alan laughed at the post because it is so true that there are men on sites just looking to get aroused as the message. We all will get fakers if we answer all the messages. Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Can we offer this please Seanandem. You are seeing this from the other side. Your attempt is to make the LS fit your relationship/situation. This may be problematic as the LifeStyle has its own rules/norms etc that are largely inviolate. Until you are ready and able to ride that horse, as it is, don't ride.

You're over thinking this. I prefer that a man finishes in my vagina, but if he ejaculates in my mouth I'll make a show of proudly rolling it around with my tongue for a few seconds (guys like that) then swallow. Taste is pretty much the same. Delay swallowing if another girl wants for us to pass and play with it. The End.

One word I am never called is prude. I am called every name you can think of when we meet strange men for a one time meet. The men think they are macho and taking advantage of us even if I hold all that is important in my hand. They don’t realize with one squeeze or a use of my powerful jaw I can have them crying. It’s funny if the call me a cocksucker because that is exactly what I want to do. No man calls it a vagina when we meet for sex, mostly pussy. Some will call me a cunt not call my vagina a cunt. Things are different if we are with swingers. We expect a different dialog and different actions in different scenarios. Swingers should never begin with calling names if they expect us to meet and play.

I think it could work. Agree to two things: keep any drama that either of you starts to feel between yourselves—don’t inflict it on your playmates, and don’t blame either of you if one of you breaks one of your agreed- upon rules in the heat of the moment. Agree to do better next time or possibly get rid of the rule you thought you needed. If it doesn’t work after a couple tries, stop.

The fundamental key to a relationship is vulnerable, open and honest communication. Both parties need to be able to share, warts and all, and be received. Too many couples cannot do this without introducing sex with others. If you are unable to live together, I question being able to have sex with others. Before you engage in that, you need to settle your marriage one way or the other. That is more important than what a client of mine trmed "sport fucking". Just don't think you are there yet.

People that say stupid shit or over sexualize the conversation, before we have even meet them in person stop us from having interest immediately! If you can’t talk to her like she is a human being first you are not going to be talking to her at all. So many guys seem to think women are just stupid fuck toys there to serve all their perverted dreams. Good luck with that.

I could see swinging as a gasoline can for a couple that has relationship problems. Ditto on the therapist.

I would try to find a poly positive couples therapist and make sure your relationship is strong. Swinging make things more complex not less.

From all the research my wife and I have done I'd strongly suggest working on solidifying your relationship first. There's so much involved and invested in a sound and secure relationship before introducing another dimension into your already rocky situation. It's interesting that you've watched her give another guy a BJ. Was that while you were married? You may have found it "hot," but what were the circumstances surrounding it?