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It makes me laugh that this question keeps coming up, no pun intended. Either you are into it or you are not. If you say no upfront then it means no. I look at it this way. If a female says she is not into anal but a guy starts to go there, is she just going to go along? If you say you are not into BSDM and someone whips out a crop slaps it across your ass are you not going to react? If a female says no to cumming in her mouth, but the guys does anyway is it going to bother you? If you say you are not into rain games and someone starts pissing on you is that okay? If you have a no sex without condom rule and the guy just ignores it are you going to say what the hell let's do it? I would be irritated as hell about any and all of the above because they are stated boundaries and someone else took it upon themselves to go there against your stated desire. As much as some people want to turn it into a homophobic issue it just isn't. If someone strays from the agreed to boundaries it is going to irritate me and I will let them know, regardless of what boundary we are talking about. Bottom line, it is about respecting others. If you can't then it is time for you to move on, quickly.

Here's the way I see it. I'm a bisexual man. If I'm engaged in sex with a mf couple and he goes down on me, I'm going to be very pleased.

Daniela and I have done anal this way between ourselves and with others. The best thing for the woman is for another woman to be able to tongue her clit while she is getting ass fucked.

I am not a licensed psychotherapist, but before my professional career took a radically different turn I had four years of doctoral training in clinical psychology. My advice, Ray, is that if you believe this relationship is a passing one, end it now. I don’t think you should let what you acknowledge is your own issue make her life more complicated. But if you believe that this is the sole issue standing between you and a longterm durable relationship with this woman then I recommend you (or the two of you) get some relationship counseling, preferably with a therapist who is well-versed in sexual issues in relationships. If you are able to resolve your issue the two of you can pursue the relationship. If you cannot banish from your mind fantasized images you find troubling of your girlfriend engaged in casual sex with others — or learn to not find them disturbing— I believe you will be unable to establish a durable and mutually satisfying relationship with this woman who has been honest and open with you about her personal history.

I was like this in college. Now, at 55, not so much although nowadays I stay hard a lot longer before I come. She comes first as they say. And second, third and fourth! We also do bioidentical hormone replacement. I do thyroid, testosterone and some stuff called DHEA. Not only does it give my Johnson a new lease on life, but it has made me more excited about my career and life in general. Testosterone therapy does not increase heart disease risk, it reduces it. A metabolite of testosterone is estrogen, which is protective of the heart and actually lowers cholesterol. My cholesterol went from 220 to 158, along with red yeast rice ( a natural statin blend). The levels of hormones are titrated using blood tests. I had in the beginning a normal testosterone level for a 50's male. Who wants that?!! Now Ii have the levels of a 30 year old. One side effect: I wake up every morning with this massive boner and it's hard to pee. Oh, well, I just sit down on the head and push it down so I don't make a mess. the things we have to deal with! Sheesh!

Swingers are open minded about sex. It is about excitement, thrill, new experiences, and fun. A given. Among women, a lot of wives are bi and enjoy dick and pussy too. Here comes that question, a spin-off of Tia Vampire's thread. You, your bi wife, and her bi female friend go to a nude beach. The girls began to play around and soon are masturbating each other, disregarding the dozen who pass by, some stopping to watch before walking on. You're half hard watching. A guy stops to watch the show the girls are putting on. He starts to get hard and after a few minutes you recognize you are getting a little too turned on and you decide to go for a walk up the beach to cool off. The guy stays to watch but a minute later walks on too. He soon catches up to you and you walk and talk till out of sight of anyone. You eventually stop and sit down on the sand to rest and the conversation has been about the girl/girl play your wife and friend were having and both of you, as guys do thinking about such things, start to get hard. Your conversation has made both of you really horny and both of you begin to occasionally stroke yourselves. The conversation evolves to the fact women can enjoy the fun of a dick AND pussy while the guy only gets pussy. You say that by simple math, guys are missing half the sex compared to girls. There is no fear your wife enjoying another woman's hot wet pussy, as you do, would make her or you think of her as a lesbian. Yet guys come with the mentality that any m/m contact is gay, without merit. You are both horny, slowly jacking yourselves off while talking. (I am writing this thread so it is mandatory that you magically know he is of no threat, and he is clean and STD free.) You are enjoying his company and conversation. He suddenly stands up and before you can react, steps forward and his dick is in your face. He puts his hand softly on your head and when you open your mouth to ask him....he slips his dick in your mouth. Your instinct is to pull away, but his hand is gently encouraging you not to, not forcing you. There is no one to see, you will never see him again, no one will ever know. His dick is already in your mouth. It is what a dick is, firm, fleshy soft and warm. Not an unpleasant sensation, and a first new something you have experienced since the first time you ate pussy. Would you, as an open-minded swinger who likes that his wife is bi ... 1. Be angry 2. Pull away and say I'm not into that. 3. Let it continue. 4. If you enjoyed the experience, think you would do it again sometime. 5. Think 'Done That' and not do bi again.

Well, that’s pretty hot! 😊 But the one problematic aspect was that he unwisely took his cock out of her ass and then put it straight into her pussy. Not healthy for her! (I had to watch it twice to be sure that’s what a saw. Really, I would never have watched it twice otherwise. Wait, maybe I better watch it again. You know, to be truly certain.)

A woman taught me that missionary anal was the easiest way for the woman. She said the man should stand on the floor next to the edge of the bed with the woman laying on her back, with her butt on the edge of the bed. The woman should put the bottom of her feet on his shoulders and the man put his erect cock just touching her butthole, not in. The man should concentrate on her clitoris rubbing it and as the woman starts getting off, she will squirm and work the cock into her butt. The man should still rub her clitoris and she should control the depth and pace of the anal sex. The women that I have used this method of anal sex perform it over doggy anal.

Welcome Lifeisnow! You're definitely in the right place. This is a wonderfully supportive forum. Let's get the FMF covered first. I don't mean to dissuade you, but finding another woman who is interested in bi (or, really, not) is very difficult. Around here, we call such women "unicorns"; fabled to exist, but no one has ever actually seen one. Ok, that's not entirely true. Some couples do find single women that want to play with another couple. But, it is rare. I'm not suggesting you shouldn't try for it, but don't get frustrated if it doesn't happen. Single men on the other hand are very, very easy to find. The trick is to find nice single men. That's not as rare as the unicorn, but you have to do some searching. Ok so your wife doesn't want to do it again. Forgive me, but I want to be clear; she doesn't want to do something with another man involved? Going with the flimsiest of knowledge about your relationship and her in particular (going of course off of only what you've posted), it sounds to me like your wife very much enjoys the idea of having another man, and is maybe so interested that it scares her a bit. It can be a bit terrifying; what if she likes it "too much"? What does "too much" mean? Does it supplant the sex you two have? Does it erode it? Does it make it seem less hot, less satisfying? These are unknowns that are hard to understand. They are emotional reactions, and not logical ones. My wife has a sexual tiger inside herself that was awakened by swinging. Your wife may be a bit fearful of just what, exactly, is inside her that she has yet to explore. Your wife could also have objections based on societal/moral/religious standards, and feel like she's breaking something while doing this. The pathway through this is communication. Having deeply open communication can be hard. Many couples never get there. Being open means being able to talk about your innermost thoughts and feelings. Being receptive to each other in listening is critical; no judgment, no sarcasm, no teasing; just frank, open honesty. Listening can be a difficult skill to learn. Getting to this level of communication will bring the two of you ever more intimate to each other. Ask about fantasies, whether either of you feels they are wrong to fulfill or not. Ask about unusual ideas in each other's heads. Ask what you think about when masturbating. There's lots of ways to help encourage such discussion. Doing it in the bedroom is fine, but also doing it outside the bedroom is good too. My wife and I spent many months talking about such things and also about swinging before we took our first dip in the pool. It made a big difference. Another idea; this sub-forum on first swinging experiences has a vast history of things couples did when they were first starting out. There's also a sub-forum called "Swinging Situational HELP!" It can be interesting to read some of the first posts in the threads of these forum and then discuss between you and your wife. What was interesting about it? What about it would be challenging? How would you handle it? Did you enjoy the idea of it and could you imagine yourself doing it? These threads can be excellent conversation starters. Once you have a better understanding of what each of you want, dream, and desire, you will feel more confident and secure in moving ahead. You noted about having a one off with a stranger, and that would limit risks. This is very true. There are couples who have a rule of playing with someone only once, and never again. That works for them, and might work well for you. If that becomes a rule, it might change for you. My wife and I realized over time that finding good play partners was in many ways no different than 'vanilla' dating. You're going to find some duds, some people whom you don't have a lot of fun with, etc. We felt that since it was so hit and miss, that it would be better to maintain relationships with the ones that were fun. But, I wouldn't advise trying that until you're more comfortable. How to start is really up to you, and what you want to do. There's plenty of ways to start. Ok, finding the FFM might be hard. But, you can help her explore her interest in other men. One idea; in your day to day lives as you're out doing errands or whatever, have her pick out men she finds attractive, and you do likewise. It can be a bit of a fun exercise and helps internally open the door that it's ok to imagine being with someone else. You could go to swinger meet-and-greets where there's no play, just meeting up with other swingers. That can help make swinging seem less intimidating, as you begin understanding that swingers are really just like everyone else. There's no swinger 'type'. There's also hotel takeovers that can be fun, even if you don't play. You could also go to a swinger club and be spectators, or maybe play with each other only (whether other people can see you or not). Another idea; go to a dance club of some kind and dance with other people. Get physically close with them, and see how each of you feel. Doing an online chat is very different than in person. There are many ways to get closer to swinging without actually swinging, and help test the waters and begin to wrap your brains around the idea of being non-monogamous. What rules you set are also very much up to you, and highly dependent on where your comfort levels are. What are you not comfortable with each other doing to something else? What feels like too far, or too much? I wouldn't try to come up with too many rules; try to focus on only those things that you think will upset either of you. Having too many rules can make having sex with others feel almost rigid. My wife and I had a number of rules when we began; no kissing, no solo play, no anal, always use condoms, etc. Over time all the rules but one fell away. The last one to fall away was always using condoms. Not using condoms now is allowed if it's a regular, long term play partner who has been tested for STDs. So, in a sense, I guess you can say that's still a rule but has conditions. The one big one that has never fallen away and never will is the one we call the "golden parachute". If for any reason either of us does not feel comfortable and wants to exit the situation, they voice it and we both get dressed and leave. No discussion, no checking to make sure, etc. Just leave. We will talk about it after we leave. We've never invoked that rule, but it's nice to know it's there. Planning it in advance; seems odd to plan sex, doesn't it? I wouldn't plan to have sex per se. Plan and expect to have fun, and have no other expectations. It would be good to establish what the limits are for a particular evening; touching and kissing ok, but no further? Anything ok but actual sex? Sex with another person is ok? One thing to be cautious of; changing limits or rules while in the heat of the moment (or approaching it). There will always be another day. Going too far, too fast can be a recipe for disaster. It sounds like both you and your wife enjoy the idea of the other having sex with another person. It can be intensely erotic. When we got into swinging, I had no idea how much I'd enjoy watching my wife have sex with another man. It's absolutely incredible. I love watching, hearing, and helping her have a great time. It sounds like the two of you might be very much the same. This is a good sign for the two of you getting into swinging. A few other bits of advice. However you proceed with this, move at the speed of the person going the slowest, whether it's you or your wife. That applies in general to all of it, but also to specific things. For example, my wife wasn't comfortable with the idea of me having sex with other women at first. We had lots of MFMs before she started feeling more comfortable with the idea. So in one aspect, we moved ahead quite a bit. In another, we moved more slowly. That's ok. Always make sure that you (as in both of you) are in charge of birth control. Those whom you play with may be in charge too, but don't leave birth control solely up to the people you're playing with. Focus on each other. It may seem paradoxical, but swinging isn't about other people, but more about the two of you helping each other achieve more self actualization. Another crucial bit of advice; keep posting here and asking questions :) We're happy to answer, and will tell you if we think you're making a mistake. That's one of the things I really love about this forum. Oof, looking back over this it appears I've written a book. Setting my proverbial pen down for the moment ... :)

It gets harder as time goes on and I'm not talking about the member. With ED medication, there is an improvement. And good physical condition and alcohol avoidance help. But Father Time waits for no one. Play a lot when you are young!

What is wrong with two guys sucking each other off if the wives are into watching it? I think most women want to watch their man suck another man's cock but because of the stigma of being called gay they will not enjoy watching their man suck another man. Women, drop your preconceptions and watch your man suck another man's cock. You will see it really turns you on. (yeah a lot of the porn women buy is man on man). And yes, I have sucked another man's cock and I enjoyed it very much.

Hello all. I think I know the point the poster is really trying to make. At a party group I attend one of the guys said he would get violent if someone even asked him if he wanted to engage on M/M play. He asked if the rest of the guys were in agreement with him. This same fellow is enthusiastic about it when his wife does some F/F play. I had to tell him I most certainly WAS NOT in agreement about that. After all, it's a sex party. I don't care who asks who to do what. Just so long as they ask and respect the answer they get. If a person can't handle being asked they shouldn't go to those sort of parties. In the scenario the poster laid out my only real objection (other than leaving the ladies alone, naked among strangers) is that the guy didn't ask permission before jamming his dick down someone's throat. There's no need to have the violent reaction to the very idea that some guys have. If a simple "no thanks" solves the trouble why not leave it at that?

I dunno. Two naked hotties fingering each other and all sorts of fun stuff? I don't think ANYTHING could persuade me to leave that!!

Ok we are new here, as well as new to swinging. That being said. Openmindedcpl, I read your post and like many men that responded by voting be angry. Not that I am a homophobe, in the proper situation I might play with him or more. I have to somewhat agree with sereneiders but understand you felt you were leading up to the question properly. But it seemed a little dominating/forceful to me. I don't think very many men would feel comfortable being dominated, or forced into man on man sex, and would respond accordingly. I feel it would have been better received by the group had it evolved from a 4some (2 couples) and proceeded gently from that point. P.S. I really tried to take your post in the everything/everyone is safe notion that I believe it was meant, but still agree on not leaving the ladies alone.

That will teach me to assume. I did not read the story, just based my response on an assumption that it was a fondle during a swing situation. Since that is NOT what the poll was about: I would very calmly beat the hell out of anyone who tried to violate me. As other posters said, it would never go that far. If I am with two women who are pleasuring each other I am not going to walk away with another man to a secluded area.

That was an interesting story, but the original poster must have been a woman because something happened in that story that no self respecting man would ever do...he left the woman he brought to a nude beach alone. Sorry lady, that might have been a good fantasy, but no man leaves his wife or girlfriend (or even the woman he just met for sex) alone in a sexually charged situation UNLESS SHE TELLS HIM TO LEAVE!!!! We just aren't wired that way. Therefore, the rest of the scenario would never have happened.

Not to be gross or anything but another upside to the lady on her back is less chance of any nasties getting into the vagina. BTW my lady loves it anyway she can get it. RU

I have done anal from the missionary position w/o any problems. I have been told I am reasonable "big" and I was able to go deep and hard w/o my GF experiencing any discomfort. Magnum

Personally hubby and I have struggled a bit w/ anal, but we are working on that LOL He's just really thick, and the only other anal sex I had was w/ a smaller, less thick individual. So its quite a virgin-ish experience Is it possible that your wife was more relaxed that night because she had a few in her? I don't need the alcohol to want to get rowdy, but when it comes to anal it really helps my body to relax a bit. Darn butt muscles anyways

Well, me and my hubby have talked about this and we don't think that there is any way that you can duplicate what happened that night. I love anal. My go-to position is on all fours but I have had lots of orgasms while I was on my back, legs it the air and a cock in my ass. It will all work out for you and when it does. OMG what a ride

So you don't rate "Dog-style" in the top two? What's wrong with a tight anus? He He! Personally, I like "face-to-face" anal. Gets the clit involved and we can kiss at the "other" end. facelick Male D

This is our favorite position for anal. I can play with my clit and if I choose also us my dildo for a nice dp. I am able to control the dept of his thrust by rocking my hips up for deeper or down for more shallow thrusts.

I have to say that this is one of our favorites positions. She loves to watch my face and eyes while she plays with her clit. That way she can time her climax to mine. She claims that having her climax with me climaxing in her butt is the best ever! No argument from me!!

at vespartine! i didnt quite understand, are u having trouble with anal full stop or just in this posi? we do it in this position: mrs purrv lays missionary, mr purrv lays on his side at about 45 degree angle, mrs purrv puts calves over his waist/hips, and proceed from there, first time was slow progress, 2nd was much better with lots of thrusting and enjoyment from both. Having mr purrvs finger/ or toy in her vagina at the same time makes the experience much more sexual. Tried doggy position, mrs purrv didnt like it much.

Just discovered this one and it has become my current favorite sexual delight! Can you say multiple o's? Oooo yes! I don't have advice for you cause it works the way you described for us. Good luck finding a comfortable way to begin, its worth it! Keep trying. ---NaughtyKitten

Are you implying that I have a large anus, Julie?