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Hi everyone, I'm kind of new here so I hope this is the right place to post this question. I am curious how everyone found out that swinging even exists. I mean, it's not like there are billboards on the street or ads on TV for swinger clubs, right? I will tell you my story. When I was just 22, the guy I was dating at the time (now my husband) dared me to go to an orgy with him (he knows I can never resist a dare). I thought to myself, "Oh yeah, like people just have orgies all the time! He's totally pulling my leg!" So I called his bluff--or so I thought. I told him that if he could find an orgy, I'd go to one. Well, it turns out he already knew about swing clubs (saw them in the back of magazines at sex shops) so he knew where to take me. I had no clue. And I wasn't exactly a shy little virgin, but this was totally new territory for me. Anyway, this was in the early 90's before the Web was available. I assume these things are easier to find now, but I don't know. So I thought I'd ask you all how you even learned about the existence of swinging?

I don't think it's important, but I love sloppy seconds and can't wait to reclaim my SO. We both really are into reclaiming and then shower together. I think we reclaim for different reasons, she wants more cock and I love the feel of sloppy seconds, great sex!

I didn't learn about the lifestyle (actually poly) until after I was in it. After getting married while still keeping my old boyfriend, young and naive, I started looking on the web to see whether anyone else had such an arrangement. I had heard about orgies and swingers, but it was on this Board that I actually found out it could be something that married couples share in a loving way. It also pushed me to challenge my jealous thinking about hubby ever having other sex partners to the point where I set up his first playdate within our marriage with my friend. Now hubby has a steady gf too and I am a strong believer that marriage and nonmonogamy actually go together to increase happiness all around. About being envious - my sister is the only one that knows about our poly arrangement and she is envious over what we are getting out of it and how smoothly it works. She and her husband have fallen into the trap of trying to live up to society's expectations of what a marriage should be. They both had many sex partners before marriage, and my sister has had sex with three different guys since getting married (although she doesn't think two of them count since she sleep with them before marriage). Each time after it ended she confessed and her husband gave the socially expected minor performance about her "adultery" then they went back to being a normal, functioning couple. My take is that she likes the extracurricular sex and he thinks it's hot, but they're afraid to acknowledge it and work out an arrangement.

I had an aunt and uncle who delved into it and my parents and other aunts and uncles whispered about them loudly. You know, I really liked that aunt and uncle and realized that they were the happiest couple in my family. They're both deceased now but they shared a long, happy, marriage. I think my folks and other aunts and uncles were simply envious.

When it was just hubby David, my boyfriend Red, and me having an MFM, hubby would always let Red go first. I thought he was being polite. As David explained it, however, it was because he would rather be in his pre-orgasm excited state watching me fucking Red and take sloppy seconds rather than watching after he had cum. Now, with Lora and Clair in our family, there's no order or preferences.

That's how we started years ago, 2 couples with our same partners having sex. I think that everyone will take a peek at the other couple, but that is a starter, or it was for us. Then the next step is letting the other couple watch and then a full on swap. Take baby steps till you get comfortable, and it will. You will get one hell of a rush knowing couples are watching you have sex! Go for it, you only live once!

Having sex in the same bed with another couple isn’t at all unusual for beginners. However, I have no insight whatsoever on how you can do that without being watched. 😳

In swinging, it's best to be last on the agenda.

Developing friendships as adults is probably one of the most difficult things that anyone encounters. We all want to do it but at the same time we all have a difficult time doing. As was said earlier in the thread, I do think that within a very short amount of time we know whether or not the person we are talking to is someone that we COULD be friends with. And every once in a while you meet that person who is just your BFF from minute one. But once we grew up and got married it got a lot harder. Now short of the instant BFF thing happening, it takes alot more to develop a friendship, for starters there are more people involved. Not only do I have to get along with this person, but my husband does too, and not only does she have to get along with me but her husband does too. We often talk about the 4 way connection required just for two couples to feel comfortable swinging together, but if you want to actually develop a friendship then it requires an even deeper connection. Then take that a step further and include the fact that we're grownups and married and often have kids that take our time and that severely limits our time to really establish a friendship. And for many swinging couples they get so little time where they can go out and do things without the kids that they would prefer to take that limited time and go to a club/ house party/ social or hookup one on one, because that's the only chance they get to do those things. We are like you, we'd love to meet some couples we could do all the other stuff with, but the reality is, we have a hard time getting our vanilla friends to find enough time to do those things. So I guess all in all it boils down to, it's hard to make true friends as adults.