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We used to frequent Sandy Hook in New Jersey. There was a young man who had recurrent erections. His nickname was “ Woody.”

Deb and I are adjusting to meeting strangers on swing sites. From finding people from our past, seeing people we know from other places to not feeling it when meeting the first time. I get excited just knowing Deb is looking at profiles, what catches her eye and wonder why she passes over some. I wonder why she gives a thumbs down on some of my suggestions, some are just a feeling she gets. The day after Thanksgiving she was looking and asked me to take a look. I will emphasize that if you post make sure your picture is a great one, clothed and together, especially if you want to catch the eye of a woman. I feel creepy saying looks count, it does for us. It’s what makes Deb stop and look. My eyes go to the female while Debbie looks at the couple. Post was an attractive male, fit and I would label Mediterranean, female all American and my guess younger. One of the pictures was a wedding photo, another a beach picture, another taken very casual. No red flags on the profile I gave Deb a thumbs up to contact them. I think it is better for the women to have first contact as it shakes out fakes. An hour later a response from him but Debbie was emphatic that she needed to hear from the wife before any more is said. I figured that would end it. My surprise she was contacted with a phone number to call. Debbie called and got the details. There is a 20+ year difference in age. He’s an attorney, second marriage, she is a school teacher that met him on a vacation three years ago. They are married almost two years.

The right to privacy is important. Americans are entitled to vote in private, but most make their political positions known. Nearly everyone chooses to urinate and defecate in private, but we suspend that right in certain contexts (many countries have more or less open urinals in restaurants and various public buildings, and of course military latrines typically offer little privacy). Our point is that while the right to privacy is important, the actual choice of privacy is peculiarly situational. This is true even of sexual behaviors and health. Your doctor has a reason to know of your sexual behaviors, your dentist typically does not. And so on. Different from political positions, there's rarely a reason to reveal sexual preferences and various risks that accompany such revelation. The tabloids are full of such breathless revelations. Our counsel: choose wisely. Like others, we do not broadcast. On the other hand, when confronted with a direct question, we tend to give direct answers. That said, we are often in vanilla situations with LS couples of our ken, and follow their requests if asked "so how did you four meet?" Recently, we have been asked to indicate that we (a) met during high school when team A played team B and reconnected so many years later; (b) met at an art gallery (where the other lady had a show) ; (c) met at a professional conference. These little fictions are somehow reassuring to many.

Ray1010... First, you did well to reach out to others. Here are some thoughts. It's an aphorism that each of us spends the first half of our lives living for others, the second half of our lives living for ourselves. Where the dividing point comes is different for each of us, but "middle age", or that time when you realize that there is less life ahead than there is behind, is a common separator. At that point, one realizes that looking backwards no longer makes sense unless you intend to go that way. At that point one realizes that the social norms of vanilla life are not the only option. For some, they are not the best option. Many if not most who are drawn to alternative lifestyles--nudism, the LS, whatever--are drawn to them and to the people who choose them because of the transparency and candor. It is not just what people "do" as forms of expression, it is who those people are--and in most cases, they are people who have found the courage to be themselves, to express themselves, to give of themselves on their own terms. You..and she...might want (her to) leave the lifestyle. But we would strongly wager that neither you, nor she, wants to compromise your shared core values of honesty, affection, trust, communication, and the honor you have shown for each other. Those values (there's an acronym there: HATCH) are strongly held by many couples that we have encountered in alternative lifestyles. One can reasonably assert that participation in this or that alternative lifestyle is simply an expression of those core values, and one that maintains integrity with them. The fact that you found this site and reached out the way you did shows genuine curiosity. You didn't post out of fear, or disgust, etc. You posted because you were curious, and because you care for and about your lady. You respect this lady who has freely admitted that she has enjoyed sex for physical pleasure with multiple partners, you are in love with this lady, and you embrace her for all of who she is. You want to go forward in your lives together, and you recognize all sorts of uncertainties and unknowns. This leads to three fairly solid conclusions: 1. You have crossed into life's second half. You are doing what feels right to you and for you. Congratulations. 2. You have found courage. Recall Thucydides words: "The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it." You understand that there are uncertainties for you and for her, but want to move forward. This is life in purest form. 3. In trying to understand her life, and the lifestyle, and reaching out here, you have dipped a toe into the lifestyle yourself. You have discovered that it is populated by real people, with real lives, who see the world differently. The LS is not defined by its consensual non-monogamy any more than the vanilla world is defined by marital monogamy. It is defined by the people who chose to live differently, relate differently, love differently. You have gravitated to your lady's authenticity, her honesty about who she is. You might share this entire thread with her if you haven't already. Good luck and have fun. FL

My ex wife was with me on a nude beach in Jamaica, I was sitting in a lounge chair at the beach and she was laying by the shoreline. A young man was walking the shoreline looking for shells. He and my ex started talking so he sat down by her. My ex said they started talking about all the nude people and he stated that it was the first time on a nude beach for he and his wife. The conversation turned to sex and my ex could see he was getting an erection and the conversation got even more graphic. My ex said that she was flattered has he was now at full erection. He apologized for which my ex said no problem, and continued talking dirty to him. She seen that he started squirming and told him to let it happen and he ejaculated 3 long squirts of cum. He waited till his erection went down and left to sit by his wife. Has anything like this happened to you at a nude beach ?

Home with a bad cold, no Covid, I’m thinking about the summer and sitting on the beach. Sandy Hook is a nude beach as you know, not a swinger or sex beach. When we go we sit with lifestyle friends who are there to enjoy the beach. Sex does not happen on the beach but you can’t stop lookers who are there to stare and get their jollies. I have noticed erections mostly from men who look because it is the only place they can see a nude woman or by closeted men who feel free to look at what they want to look at. I have never witnessed a man ejaculating and if one did there would be a problem. Any couple having sex in the open would find themselves with a much bigger problem in Federal court. Now let me go back to my thoughts of being on a beach.