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There is a question why you only swing in the same room as your partner that had me thinking how many of us enjoy playing in separate rooms. I have posted many times, too many times, that our first swap was in separate cabins on a cruise that took away any possibility of jealousy and gave the ability of enjoying the night. The next day the play continued to same room play which almost killed any chance that I would do that again. Some take exception to me saying we make love when alone and have sex when in a group. Alone I make an emotional connection with a partner that continues well after the sex act is completed. Spending a night or just hours without anyone watching us enjoy lets me feel rewarded while others watching keeps me from relaxing and soak up the moment. That connection has expanded into being with others alone not just that first one. Men act differently when they are alone with me and taking their time pleasing and being pleased. My observation is men in a group have something to prove even if it’s just me thinking that. In the years since our first we have had a number of other partners, thinking less than most who post on here. I have been in threesomes with my husband, both MFM and FFM, and the same with other men. The most surprising night was spent alone with another woman, something that took a lot of convincing for me to do. Being alone with her was so different from being watched by others. I surprised myself how uninhibited I was and how I allowed myself to truly explore my feelings. I am grateful to that partner that showed me that two women can be both emotionally and physically attached without having a penis involved. These are just a few of my feelings of my preference of separate rooms. I need to add that doing things with Mr. S2P is terrific as well, he is still my #1 lover and soulmate and would forsake any others to continue my undying love for him. He understands my thinking on this topic and enjoys his time with the partners we decide to play with. Are we the exceptions to the swinging rule that we should be doing things together and watching your partner is important to swinging?

I don't want to be disagreeable 😉, but You have not posted too many times about that experience. Every time you do, is in a new way with different context. I am not one of those people. My take is slightly different, but I understand totally what you mean. Being a poly family, that's us too, especially me. We've played a little outside our family, but not much. For me as well. I've made no secret here or to those in my family that the strongest emotional ties that I have, besides our children, is with Lora and Clair. Because of the children. In conclusion, your are correct, alone play allows for a more emotional experience. But watching someone else in the family pleasing and getting pleased makes me jealous and gets me hyper aroused.

We stick to Green and Purple women. Now ask me how I feel about people who ask questions like this. The primary color we stay from are Orange people. Now I realize Orange is not a primary anything.

When I first got over my fear of hubby playing with other women, I began setting him up with female friends and acquaintances. It was easier than I thought. David is attractive and women feel comfortable carrying on with a married man with his wife's permission. It was super exciting for me, but the difficulty was having them let me be there to watch and possibly participate. Clair was the first that not only let me watch and participate, but got sexually aggressive with me. That's how I found out that I had a Lesbian side as well. The point of the story is that I quickly went on to spread the lesson to other women who had never had a homosexual experience before. The joy of licking pussy.

Darn it. I mean I was 24 when I was with her and she was 29 at that time when we had sex. Her husband was 23 when she was 14. I hope I cleared that up. So sorry.

Usually Daniela and I have sex after one or both of us has had sex with someone else because the thought of what we or the other or both have done (fuck someone else) is just such a turn on. Perhaps it is reclaiming...

That is wonderful, as having multiple sex partners should be. I am always hoping that my wife achieves this (her passionate kissing makes me believe she does), and am happy for her. Among our group I have one special woman as well, and know what you mean.

My wife's past, including her sexual past, is an expression of her wonderful nature. I treasure her for it, and with regard to her sex life, I find it thrilling. That's what my wife did when we got married, thinking it was the right thing to do. Then we realized that she is happier with multiple sexual partners, men and women, and we mutually agreed that she should have other partners. Then she decided that we both should.

For years my husband did stay hard or hard enough to not withdraw. My first swap lover stayed hard after a very long sensual first sex act. I have thought many times of that first time, my first time having sex with a new friend we met on a cruise, the first time having sex outside of marriage. I don’t refer to that first time as having sex, we made love. I gave my body to him and he was great. We did everything lovers would do. I was very receptive to enjoying and I was brought to heights many times before he ejaculated in me. I was about to roll over to catch my breath when he stopped me, still in me, holding me close and then slowly started again. I will never forget.

We find it useful, particularly in FFM situations. David or Red can get one of us off then finish in the other. But generally, I'd feel cheated if a guy had an orgasm, but didn't ejaculate in me. It's the party favor a woman gets.

Agreed. I'm all for a little experimentation, but this is extreme. Those "normal" things work perfectly well.

I've known plenty of women who have gone through a stage in life when they want and have a lot of sex with multiple partners, including Lesbian sex. They then decide to move on to another stage in life. The difference between women and men, however, is that they can more easily, or some want to, have less sex. She is moving on.

It is difficult to try to get into another person’s thinking of why they do anything. While my situation is different, I was younger and not previously married, I was what some might call wild. I slept with many partners including other women and a number of group sex play. When I met my husband I became monogamous without hesitation and continued our monogamy for years without any regrets. Life changes and priorities change, my past was my past. I would have been very happy to never have sex with anyone other than my husband. The main reason we started in the lifestyle was Alan was curious to a part of my life he felt he missed out on. Your new partner has found happiness in you as you have with her. I am guessing at your age you had sex with others on vanilla terms. When you become a couple you make choices including changes in life, you are not dating others and neither is she. If your jealousy overwhelms your thoughts it is your problem not hers. If you think her past will bother you, you need to move on as her past will always be there.

You should just make a list of these. They crack me up. I agree that it is a package deal. A couple is going to naturally find a "happy middle" when it comes to most everything - and I usually start from a "base" of "my wife likes this." Paying attention as the play unfolds helps you match the rhythm of your partner, but since we tend to go in blind with a new playmate, we start from what we know. I've had compliments on my kissing, but are those women who just happen to like my style? Am I really not as good as they say? Could be. And it is obvious you are not putting down variety at all (it is a fun thread, for sure!) and I need to mirror that thought: the fun is in the variety for me. I don't really want a playmate who looks, kisses, fucks like Mrs Spoo. She is amazing, but let's explore something new, right? Then again - there are some variations of certain things that I have simply not enjoyed at all - and some that have been "okay" without being anything special. Maybe a kissing study is in order. What is the most common kissing style? How does it change as the passion ramps up, if it does at all? Are we more "mixing bowl" as a species or more "cover of a romance novel"? I usually start off slow, but there have been those times where the first kiss has almost been a collision. The chemistry and the moment kind of dictate. But I do wonder if you'd have a funny line for my version of kissing. Spoomonkey