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Your selfishness is stunning. It's been all about more cocks for you but a woman gives a quick suck and you're distraught and end the activities... Same advice here as a few other threads about jealousy. Stop swinging. You want whatever you desire and flip when your husband gets the same thing? This goes nowhere good.

Davidia, I am certainly glad that my wife has a more forgiving nature.An attribute that I do my best to emulate. I agree that what she said was damaging, but if he is so fragile that this was a deal breaker then he should not be playing. Things get said. Sometimes they are stupid things that we wish we had not said. A solid marriage does not give us license to be careless with each other feelings , but it does provide the grace of the occasional do over.

Have the two of you sit down and have a talk...let him know that you may have used the wrong word with 'prefer'. Remember, if it wasn't for him, you wouldn't be doing anything with other guys so he's pretty darn special to start with. Maybe 'exciting' or something more along those lines. It's called NRE or new relationship energy where since it is new it becomes more of a focal point. What you really need to clarify is that it is just different. Make SURE that he also understands that sex DOES NOT EQUAL love. Sex with someone else is different...exciting, but that you LOVE HIM, especially for being allowed to do with WITH him. He IS and always be your number one and if he doesn't want to pursue swinging any longer, that you are fine with that because him and his needs come first. Let him know that what you said doesn't mean that having sex with others is better or that they are better at it than he is, it's just different. It sounds like you two just need to better explain things so you both understand and feel comfortable with what is happening. Keep the communication lines open and just keep talking, but until he understands what you are saying, it is probably best to place swinging on pause until you are both ready to continue.

Most people? Don’t think so. Most people have sex in the dark and don’t even want their partner to see. Swingers and exhibitionists are such a small sector of life. And we don’t poop in the middle of the lawn like animals, unless we are drunk

People raise stepchildren, have artificial insemination, adopt. I see nothing wrong with this approach. You love your daughter and that's all that matters.

We do swing same room for security reasons when the partner/s (playmates) are people we don't completely know or we met online (even after chatting for a long time). I don't mind being watched by S.O. during an mf-m, mfm, or an fmf-m. But I noticed that it was usually the guest M that feels awkward or uncomfortable knowing that my SO is around. There were some who had been regular playmates whom I developed some connection. We ocasionally do separate room or even on a separate venue alone. They had less inhibitions during those times when alone with me. But there are also the go-getters who are not bothered at all even in a same room situation with SO. They can be very aggressive and uninhibited. I respond based on their intensity and level of engagement but within the agreed boundaries.

Animals don't wear underwear to cover their private parts; humans do! We don't go to work naked. 🤣

That's surprising? Talk about shooting a man's horse, dang. Now you don't know what to do? I'd pull back on the swinging and reengage with each other. This is a bad road you're on. Seems you two have an interesting approach to swinging. For those we've encountered (and us) swinging is an addition to our incredible sex life. It isn't where we seek an individual that we prefer. For us, adding in a partner is to bring a MFM, FMF or MFMF dynamic that can't happen when it is the two of us. We don't partner up with others. If you feel he prefers someone else, and you say out loud <gasp!> that you prefer another man...your marriage is heading down (as others have said) and if you want to say it, get off the swinging road.

I understand why people use condoms but I really try to play only bareback these days, creampies give me the greatest o's. I'm only looking for friends that want that special connection bareback sex offers. Just my opinion, I know some will strongly disagree on here.

Such an accusation is just dumb. Please don't place any weight in it. It's a random person on the net who knows you not. I think I speak for many of us here that you are very, very welcome here. You provide a lot of positive advice, and have helped a great many people here. PLEASE don't stop!

You both have new toys that you are fascinated with. Nothing wrong with that. I suggest, however, that both of you stop using the word "prefer." It is antithetical to swinging. Swinging means that you have different partners to meet different needs, desires, wants. No one, not even a deeply devoted spouse can be everything to you. Just enjoy the adventure without comparing and live it day to day.

I used to share my ex-wife, (she's my ex because of other reasons not her riding other men). The guys would cum in her and one guy in particular would have sex with her quite a bit. No contraception at all. I would do her after. She got pregnant with our second daughter and the time frame could possibly have been his but I have no idea don't care and never checked. It's my daughter period.

Looks like you already got some great advice in the posts above! The part about making sure you acknowledge both of the couple in messages is a big thing for us. As soon as someone sends a message directly to her completely ignoring the fact we are a couple they are blocked and ignored. Yes you would only be fucking her, but you would only being doing it with me there and my consent. No respect for me means no sex for you. As for pictures she liked to be able to see what your whole body looks like. Doesn’t matter if it is with clothes or not, but she is going to want to see your body type to start out with. A face pic in your private pics or sent when contacting is going to be a must as well. Cock pics do nothing for her and if it is on your main profile or if it is sent unsolicited you will be a big no. How you sell yourself on your profile will also make a difference on who will and will not be interested. Sell yourself as a alpha bull or dom and she will pass. Others might be looking for that, but Missus E is used to being treated well and prefers guys that are more about the woman’s wants then their own. Respect is everything. Without that there is nothing.

Some profile tips offered by a couple with over 20 years experience: Usually swinger sites offer a public gallery and a private gallery. Your public gallery should have the sorts of pics you would put on any dating site - but it's a swinger site so it's fine to not show your full face there. As a matter of fact not posting your face on your public profile suggests that you understand discretion. But my wife is initially drawn in by a nice smile and a decent physique so crop your face just above your smile. Your private gallery can have nudes but keep them tasteful. Dick pics are a topic of debate but all I can say is my wife likes to see at least one. Not super close up but in the context of your overall body and she also wants to see the guy's ass. Make it one of the last photos in your private gallery. It is generally expected to post face pics in your private gallery but they can be separate photos from your nudes so that if they leak onto the internet you have plausible deniability. Nudes can have faces copped out, clothed should include your face in your private gallery. There are some keywords to know. "Open minded" means your open to kinky suggestions in general, "curious" means you're open to bisexuality, "easy going" suggests you're not the type to take charge, "Bull" or "Dom" suggest you're the take-charge type. "Limits respected" is always a good thing to put on your profile bc nobody wants a pushy guy. Different couples are looking for different things. Offering to provide an std panel is a plus bc some couples do actually prefer to play bare and those couples should both expect and provide a recent std panel. Check out stdtest.com. Beware of couples who like to play bare yet make no mention of std panels. Finally, discretion. You might find high-profile people in the lifestyle. Business people, public officials, cops, teachers etc. They want to play with discrete people. We always avoided ppl who don't value discretion so mention that you value your own privacy as well as those you play with. A simple mention like that was essential to make it onto our "short list". Good luck and have fun!! We personally think it's a great time to be a single male bc it seems to us more couples enjoy playing with them than ever before!

So true. By that gauge there may even be a shortage of single males in the LS. @bbarnsworth offers solid advice. As the husband in a couple who partakes of single males (more then half of lifestyle couples do) I'll add this: Most single men in the lifestyle have almost zero success yet some do very, very well. Why? Looks are important so is charm and attitude of course. If those things check out you might get an interview. Also, and this is where a lot of guys go wrong, couples looking for single males will likely find you. You don't even need to contact them directly. Couples get sick of being bombarded by single males so let your online profile do the talking bc couples will be looking at it. Good work gets rewarded by more work and the lifestyle community is a very social community so word gets around. And please remember that a lot of lifestyle couples work around kid's schedules so be respectful of their time and don't flake out. Be there when and where agreed upon because when you have kids you work hard to get free nights.

This past Saturday, we had our first *tiny* foray into the LS ... we visited an on-premise club (You Know Where in Fayetteville, NC). We just wanted to let everyone know how it went ... hope it won't bore you! Things started out badly ... nothing major, just that when we called for them to send their hotel shuttle, they said it wouldn't start. No big deal ... we just called Uber. We were greeted immediately upon entering and directed to a PC to register and then to a window where a nice woman took our membership and entrance fees; issued us our membership card; and gave us glow bracelets indicating it was our first time there. We waited less than five minutes for our tour, which we took with another couple and a single female. The guide showed us every corner of the place; told us where we could and could NOT have sex; demonstrated how the machines work; explained the rules for the playroom doors and chains; and answered all of our questions. Once he let us go and wished us a good time, we checked our wine with the bartender (another nice young woman), got a locker key which required a $5 refundable deposit, put our stuff away, and walked through the back play area again just to take in everything at a slower pace. We returned to the main floor, poured ourselves two glasses of wine at the bar, and hit the buffet table. Within five minutes after we sat down to eat, the owners -- Chris and Annette -- came over and introduced themselves. They were really cordial and said to please ask for them if we had any problems that the staff couldn't handle. So we had been there less than an hour and things were off to a good start. For the rest of the night, we alternated amongst snacking; wandering around the main floor to see if we could catch anybody's eye and make introductions; and checking out the back to see if we could get a room and/or watch any action. Very few people spoke to us, but we didn't really feel like they were being deliberately unfriendly. We just think that a lot of them know each other and truth be told, we didn't go out of our way to strike up a conversation either. So now we know that next time, we need to take some of the initiative. One man *did* ask me to shake my butt for two women he was with, and another young woman across the room asked me why I stopped doing it so quickly. And the same man caught us later on and thanked me for doing it, telling us he hoped we'd had a good time and would come back. But the fact that we didn't meet anybody didn't put a damper on the night ... we STILL had a blast! We drank a whole bottle of wine; danced with our hands on each others butts; made out in a sort of semi-private room in the corner of the main floor and groped each other (breasts and below the waist) right in front of three other people who were in there. During our makeout session, I even got a hard-on with those other people watching us ... giving me the hope that maybe I won't have performance anxiety the first time we get naked for sex in front of other people. The only disappointing thing was that we never managed to snag a playroom for ourselves -- they were occupied solid from 11:00pm on -- because we REALLY wanted the experience of having sex knowing that people were walking by right outside the door. But we were sufficiently turned on by the whole atmosphere and being so openly "touchy/feely" with each other that when we got back to our hotel at 1:30am, we were rarin' to go and had a great session together. In conclusion, since we didn't hook up with anybody, I guess we'd have to call this a "swinging" experience ... but we consider the night a success and we're already looking forward to going back. Maybe something will happen on a future visit and we can take the quotes off of "swinging". ;-) PS We've posted a report about the club itself in the Swinging at Clubs, Socials, and Hotels forum.

I find it interesting how some people think because they’re married anything is forgivable, the simple fact is it’s not. The fact is she clearly crossed a line from which there is nothing you do to make it right, she told her husband to his face she preferred sex with another man over him…..Game Over!! Even if he says he forgives her he will never forget those words. Marriage is sacred and you never put anyone above your spouse,,,,Ever!! Let’s put this in perspective …..can anyone please tell me any time when it’s appropriate to tell anyone that you have had sex with (spouse or not) that you prefer someone else to them for sex???

If I were you I’d be looking for a good attorney and a new place to live. Telling your husband that to his face is unforgivable and easily a marriage ending decision. Personally I would have thrown you out after that statement and never looked back. You are a cruel human being!