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Showing content with the highest reputation on 01/31/2023 in all areas
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3 pointsJust thinking about an FMF threesome where the women don't even touch...basically you're basically going to get oral from two women and have sex with two women. Are you sure "we've" been fantasizing about this and not "you've" been fantasizing about this? From my high level view of what you wrote, I would guess that your wife is rather submissive and follows what you do/say. I can't imagine why a woman would want to be in a sexual situation where she does nothing to the third party and wants nothing from the third party. What is the point of bringing the third party in, from her perspective?
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2 pointsIUPDATE We didn't arrend the NYE party, choosing to play ar home as a 4some with our friends Steve and Vicky. We had a great time. Our favorite swinger playmates who hosted the NYE party told us all about it when we played with them last Saturday. Lesley told uscthat on NYE there were 4 couples, and it would have been great tohave us two along with Steve and Vicky The four girls took turns at visiting the room with 4 guys. Each girl was gently gangbanged. Lesley said that they almost ran out of condoms. They then finished with one-on-one swaps. They asked us if we would ike to join the next group meeting they had planned for February. Amy smiled and said not really thank you. I'll be following Amy's lead.
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2 pointsI only have experience with ffm with the women playing with each other as well so can’t help you with your scenario! I will say this though unless you already have the other woman lined up you are going to have a hell of time finding another woman that is going to be interested in having a threesome when your wife isn’t playing with her as well. It is hard enough for couples with bi women to find the unicorn everyone is looking for. Take away the woman in the couple being bi and you just made things even more difficult. If a woman just wants to have sex with a man there are plenty of them to choose from. There is nothing extra in it for them if your wife isn’t involved. in my experience straight threesomes work much better with two guys and one woman! Women are much better equipped for it and can keep going after they cum no problem.
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2 pointsYou said it yourself twice and PeterJ confirmed it for you - For now at least, you play and your husband doesn't, since you are both good with that. Just make sure that the circumstances are what your husband enjoys: he's there (or not), he watches (or not), he participates (or not), you don't do any acts he feels are off limits, and you give him everything he wants afterwards. And don't be surprised if you change your mindset at some later time.
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2 pointsYeah we've also reached the point that if we don't trust someone enough for bareback, we're not interested in hooking up with them at all. Which does make the hunt for playmates a much longer mission.
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2 pointsDavidia, I am certainly glad that my wife has a more forgiving nature.An attribute that I do my best to emulate. I agree that what she said was damaging, but if he is so fragile that this was a deal breaker then he should not be playing. Things get said. Sometimes they are stupid things that we wish we had not said. A solid marriage does not give us license to be careless with each other feelings , but it does provide the grace of the occasional do over.
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1 pointAn event described in a based-upon-true-life novel recently loaded into my Kindle brought this question to my mind. Do you ever find yourself teaching a person about sex? I did myself encounter a woman who was nearly clueless, surprising in consideration of the fact that she had experienced fifteen years of married life and has a child. .
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1 pointI am thinking blowjobs if you read her posts. Possibly she likes to be in control if I am playing therapist.
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1 pointOur therapist not only tries to find what is behind our wants and actions, she is concerned with safety. I knew when I opened up that she would lead back to problems in my past that has lead me to doing things I do now. She asked why I am more obsessed with one act now, searching out more partners to do it with.
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1 pointThank you for reinforcing my self-image among those here who matter.
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1 point"Other Sports Beckon" (Amber, you’ve said you "want this to work out for us". My opinion is that if you are unable to get comfortable with your husband having sex with other women, it doesn’t seem most varieties of swinging is not going to work out for you. Hotwifing is a possibility, assuming your husband is gratified by limiting your activities to only you having sex with others.)
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1 pointIf you are not attracted to other women don’t do anything with them! It is that simple. I am not attracted to other guys and wouldn’t do anything with them to appease anyone. As for you not wanting him to be with other women that is fine as long as he is okay with it. Is it fair? I don’t think it is, but I am not him so that doesn’t matter. As for why you don’t want him to be with another woman no one can answer that for you. I would think it is an insecurity on your part, but I am not a therapist so there is that. Am I to understand that you are okay with him being with other guys, but not women? That has never made any sense to me. If a person is going to cheat or leave you for someone else and they are bi there is just as much of a chance of that happening with another guy as woman.
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1 pointHave the two of you sit down and have a talk...let him know that you may have used the wrong word with 'prefer'. Remember, if it wasn't for him, you wouldn't be doing anything with other guys so he's pretty darn special to start with. Maybe 'exciting' or something more along those lines. It's called NRE or new relationship energy where since it is new it becomes more of a focal point. What you really need to clarify is that it is just different. Make SURE that he also understands that sex DOES NOT EQUAL love. Sex with someone else is different...exciting, but that you LOVE HIM, especially for being allowed to do with WITH him. He IS and always be your number one and if he doesn't want to pursue swinging any longer, that you are fine with that because him and his needs come first. Let him know that what you said doesn't mean that having sex with others is better or that they are better at it than he is, it's just different. It sounds like you two just need to better explain things so you both understand and feel comfortable with what is happening. Keep the communication lines open and just keep talking, but until he understands what you are saying, it is probably best to place swinging on pause until you are both ready to continue.
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1 pointCouplers: We will always think of you as a slut. Of course, we wouldn't mind being in a poly-amorous relationship either.
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1 pointMost people? Don’t think so. Most people have sex in the dark and don’t even want their partner to see. Swingers and exhibitionists are such a small sector of life. And we don’t poop in the middle of the lawn like animals, unless we are drunk
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1 pointOur swinging started after my childbearing years because it freed us from that fear of getting pregnant even with protection. For us if a miracle happened like getting pregnant at this point we would not go through with it. With pregnancy not in question other health fears are more on point for us as we don’t use protection which others might say is stupid.
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1 pointDon’t think you need to discuss fantasies with a medical doctor, fantasies should be discussed with therapists. The bigger question do you discuss actual sexual activities with your doctor?
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1 pointI understand why people use condoms but I really try to play only bareback these days, creampies give me the greatest o's. I'm only looking for friends that want that special connection bareback sex offers. Just my opinion, I know some will strongly disagree on here.
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1 pointYeah, I'd clarify the meaning of 'prefer' in this context with him. The other man is new to you, and it's invigorating to have and want to be had by another man. That sort of newness can't be had in someone you've been married to for years. But, your husband is special to you...if he wasn't you wouldn't be with him. You're actively choosing to be with him, not with anyone else. HE is the man you choose to be with, no matter how much you enjoy sex with another man. Make that clear to him.
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1 pointYou both have new toys that you are fascinated with. Nothing wrong with that. I suggest, however, that both of you stop using the word "prefer." It is antithetical to swinging. Swinging means that you have different partners to meet different needs, desires, wants. No one, not even a deeply devoted spouse can be everything to you. Just enjoy the adventure without comparing and live it day to day.
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1 pointTelling a doctor is not that easy for me. My original OB/GYN delivered my children years ago who has since retired just like many of our other doctors. I never found going to him a pleasant thing not for any real reason. His replacement was a female who has also retired. A few years ago a younger female doctor who is very sweet and thorough is also an Orthodox Jewish mother. I have no doubts of her capabilities or knowledge I just have an unreasonable shyness discussing my sex life with her.
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1 pointMy wife and I went to a Lifestyle get-together last weekend. When we got there, we mingled and as it turned out, my wife meet a couple. She was sitting next to them having drinks, laughing, and having a good time. I walked over she introduced me. I sat next to his wife, and we were all enjoying the evening. The other wife and I got up to get some drinks and we chatted at the bar. "It looks like my wife has taking a liking to your husband," I said. "Yes, they both are," she replied. I asked, "Do you think you guys would like to come over to our house and we could continue the party there?" She politely made it very clear she was not interested in having sex tonight. I said, "OK, thanks for the heads up." As we sat there at the bar a friend come over to say hello. She got up excused herself and returned to the table with her husband and my wife. As the evening progressed my wife came over to me at the bar and told me she invited them to come home with us. I was a bit confused but said sure. We all left together, my wife in his car, and his wife in my car. Our conversation during the drive was very nice and easy, and I thought she had changed her mind. In the club, I could see my wife was very excited to be with her new friend. We got to our house and sat around and had some drinks. All seemed to be good. However, when we decide to go upstairs, his wife restated she was not interested in playing tonight. My wife and I left them in the room to talk, and when we came back, he apologized and said sharing tonight is not going to happen. I felt bad for my wife who was starry eyed at this guy. He was telling her she looked like a women who was beautiful and fun, and he was very much looking forward to being with her tonight but maybe some other time. My wife and I went in the kitchen to get some drinks for everyone, and I explained to her that the other wife had told me she was not interested in the bar. "I thought she changed her mind, but I guess not," I explained. "I see you want this guy. I don’t want you to be disappointed, I see and feel the attraction you two have. When we go back into the room why don’t you ask him if he wants to see the view from our bedroom? That is our usual break the ice move to get things started. I think this was his game plan all along to be with you even though she was not participating. But I’m OK with it for your pleasure." I saw how hot she was for him. So I thought to myself don’t screw this up for her, she should get to enjoy the moment. He jumped at the request, and they were off. I sat with his wife and said, "Are you ok with them going upstairs because I don’t think they care about the view?". She did not say anything but also did not object to what was going to happen. As it goes, my wife had a great experience, so they were up there for an hour. I am sure they enjoyed each other. When they came down my wife gave me a sweet kiss. We sat for a while then all politely said goodbye. The next weekend we went to a party at our friends' house. It was a vanilla evening but a number of friends were there. We had played with the host couple once before, but tonight was not that type of party. The next morning my wife realized she left her purse at Tim and Jean's house. She asked me to go and pick it up. I said I would on the way back from my bike ride. On the way back I detoured and stopped at the house. Jean answered the door and asked me in. She asked if I would like a cup of coffee, I said sure. I asked where Tim was, and she said he had left early this morning for an overnight ski trip with some of his buddies. We were in the kitchen and Jean was filling the coffee cups. I was looking at her in her robe as she delivered the hot coffee. We sipped the coffee and chatted but my thoughts while looking at this beautiful woman, came out of my mouth, “Are you wearing anything under that robe?” She smiled and got up and brought her cup to the sink. She walked back to the table where I was sitting and said, "You will have to find out for yourself." I was stunned thinking she was kidding. She said again, "All it takes to find out is to pull the robe's belt and open the robe." She stood in front of me as I sat in the chair. I pulled the robe belt and opened slowly opened the robe. She was naked and moved her chair in front of me and opened the robe and leaned forward and kissed me deep. She moved my head down into her crotch and I got on my knees and went at it not believing what was happening. She was enjoying the moment, she moaned she was coming and squeezed her legs around my head. When she released my head from the grasp of her legs she took my hand and brought me into her bedroom. She sat on the bed as I undressed. I rubbed her legs gently and picked them up high and spread them apart, she fell back, and I penetrated that wet beautiful tasting pussy. I pounded her over and over and when I stopped I got on the bed. I laid on my back and she put my hard cock in her mouth and started sucking me and would not stop until I came, and she told me how good I taste. We laid there for a few minutes not speaking and I was ready again and I turned her on her side and lifted one leg over my shoulder and began pounding her again. We went on for awhile and she had another orgasm and told me to cum inside her. She got on top and pounded me and made me explode inside her. We laid there together for a while, eyes closed resting, when her phone rang. It was Tim, he made it to the mountains and just checking in. I was feeling bad for what just happened, but it was a great experience. She repeated out loud what Tim asked - "What are you doing?" Jean replied - "Well, Allan stopped over to pick up Susan’s purse she left over here last night. I invited him in and we had a cup of coffee. I was in my robe and one thing led to another and I had Allan’s face in my crotch. Then we took it to the bedroom, and we had a giant orgasmic experience. I will tell you all about it when you get home. Are you OK with this? Good, I will tell Allan. Have fun skiing.” So, in discussing this with Jane I said I was shocked at what she just told Tim. She said, “We are always honest with each other. It will be so hot when he returns home, I will be in for another great time. So, I am also going to be honest with you. You wife left the purse here on purpose. She asked me if I would give you some great sex because you were a sweetheart last weekend. You worked it out so she could be with the gentleman she picked up at the club and she felt that you missed out, so she came up with this idea. But please understand, I was looking forward to it and it was a fantastic morning fuck with a good friend. Tim was not aware of this, but I will work it out with him when I explain the story. Susan said she the four of us can get together, or she will get with Tim alone if he prefers and you are OK with it. You have a great caring wife Allan. Please tell her thanks for including me in this scheme.”
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1 pointSome on this board are aware that I trained at the doctoral level as a clinical psychologist prior to pursuing a very different career. I agree with the comments made in this thread thread that singles and/or couples who are in therapy (other than, in my opinion, for strictly behavioral matters like quitting smoking) should be candid with their therapists about all aspects of their lives, even if they don’t necessarily seem relevant to the presenting issue when beginning therapy. That said, not every person who hangs out a shingle as a therapist is as open-minded as you might wish. Even if they don’t see their own blind spots they may, outside their awareness, have blind spots. And while they should be getting supervision on all their cases to help them see those blind spots, that isn’t always the case. There are more therapists out there — particularly but not only in the case of pastoral counseling — who might say (and think) they are accepting of a client’s unconventional sexual/affectional life, but see it as a problematic aspect in the relationship. All else being equal (and of course that’s not always the case) I think it’s wise to choose a therapist who specifically states in their public-facing communications that they work with clients whose sexuality is outside the mainstream. Failing that, as others here have suggested, bring the subject up in your initial meeting with the therapist. And ask about their values around consensual non-monogamy. You can find lifestyle-friendly therapist through Google searches. It took me about 30 seconds to find an example: https://www.bethfirestein.com/alternative-lifestyles/
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1 pointMany times we meet those that have never had sex with others watching and don’t know how to behave. I do find myself guiding some on how to please.
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1 pointI had sex with a twenty-four-year-old divorced woman with one 14-year-old daughter. After a long continuous thrusting, she suddenly tensed, jerked, and her eyes widened dramatically. She sucked in a deep breath of air and formed a panic face with a deep throaty screech as if in pain. She instantly kicked me off and shoved away from me about 2 feet. I was confused and worried I had hurt her somehow. I ask if she was ok. She was staring up at the ceiling feeling her pussy with one hand and her stomach with the other while her chest was heaving for air as if she had run a 5-mile race. I asked her if I had hurt her. She said no. She said that was the most wonderful feeling. I have never felt it before. I thought for a moment. I asked her was it on the outside or inside. She said inside all the way to my breasts. God, it felt so good. It sounded like an orgasm. I asked her if she had ever had an orgasm. She wasn't sure. She got all excited and with big giggle she said let's do it again, I loved it. So, I remounted her and off I went gently thrusting her. Soon, she started to stiffen, and a huge grin stretched her face. Oh, shit she swore. It's coming again. She didn't kick me away that time. Instead, she acted like most women do having a terrific orgasm. She had been married 14 years and no orgasm. She said that when sex with her ex-husband started to feel good, he was finished. Sounded like he just used her for a cum dump, and no oral sex either. So, I began giving her all kinds of sexual advice and instructions on sex, even kinky sex. Damn, she became one hell of a lover. She developed some tricks of her own. I still get hard and tingly all over from remembering them. FANTASTIC!!!!
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1 pointThe simple answer is that what happens is *entirely* up to you. Even in the swinging world, “No” still means no.
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1 pointI worked in a factory of 3,000 people and I understand how the younger employees wasn't very knowledgeable about sex. I retired when I turned 62, but the younger employees would come to me with questions about sex, because they heard that I carried a bag of pussy hair in my lunchbox. Remember, many of these young people never seen a 70's bush, most of the women had never heard of women taking viagra, or what it is like to visit a nude resort or beach. I have heard a lot of questions that I thought should be known in a heath or anatomy class. I couldn't believe how many guys have never licked a women's asshole. But I can say from listening to them, that a lot of young people are not having sex and that is a shame!
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1 pointWhen had been swinging about five years we started meeting with people on another site. We always had a meet and greet at a neutral bar or restaurant. We had been chatting online and decided to meet them at bar in a nearby city. We had seen pics and they were an attractive couple, him over 6 feet and she was an attractive blond. We met at the time and place, only it was just Jim no Stella. He walked in and we got up. He gave Tits a hug and shook my hand with his bear paw. We sat down and he explained his wife had to work late but would drive over in a bit. We were sitting at a circle booth and I was on one side of Tits, with him on the other. The conversation was fun and naughty. After the second drink came, we were laughing and having a nice time when I noticed Tits took a deep breath and jumped a little, but then smiled and giggled at his jokes. He kept saying how hot she is and took a quick squeeze of her D cup boob. He kept reaching over and shaking my hand telling him how lucky I am. After the third round his phone rang and he answered it saying: "Hi honey, what? How long? Ok, I will explain to them." He set his phone on his lap. He said Stella was going to be very late and maybe we could get together soon. He sat for a few more minutes, reaching around Tits shoulder gave her a one arm hug, and after a minute he put his phone in pocket and shook my hand again. I sat there after he left and said, "What the hell was that all about?" Tits replied, "We got played!" "What do you mean?" I asked. She said, "When he first hugged me he felt my tit away from you. Then after the first round of drinks he put his big hand on my leg and started rubbing my thigh. As you know I was not wearing a bra or panties but I was surprised when we did a toast and he put his hand on my pussy. Pretty soon he had a big finger in my pussy but I figured it was a warm up for when his wife got here. After third round he had two fingers in me every time he leaned over to shake your hand and tell you how lucky you are. He would rub his arms on my nipples and drive his fingers deeper. Then I noticed a guy across the bar from us that had his phone sitting sideways like he is watching tv. I think he was filming Jim finger bang in me. Then when his phone rang when his wife called the other guy was on phone. His wife had a very low voice also. Then I think he took his phone under the table and took pics of my pussy and before he got up to leave he put my hand on his very large cock so I rubbed it then he squeezed my tit again and left right after the other guy left. We got played by these guys and I am sure that was not the first time for them. Too bad, I would have fucked the hell out of that big cock… Live and learn." The profile was removed soon after.
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1 pointA long time ago, way before we even had thought about swinging, Mrs. cplnuswing had this yeast infection from hell thing going on. It just wouldn't go away. It would flare up, then get a little better, then flare up worse than before. This went on for literally months, and she had been to the OB/GYN many different times while they tried to figure it out and kept upping the treatment. So obviously, this put a kink in our sex life, not to mention making her miserable in general. Her doctor at this practice, who she had liked up to this point, was going on to her about how this was the time they were finally going to get to the bottom of it, and this drug was the one that was finally going to work, etc. and that "I'm know it's been so painful and uncomfortable for you, not to mention not being able to be intimate with your husband for so long now". Back then she was self-conscious and easily embarrassed, but every now and then she would totally surprise you and throw one off. She said she looked at him and nonchalantly said "when you want it bad enough, there's more than one place down there you can have fun with." She said his mouth literally dropped open and he stared wide-eyed at her until he finally gathered his composure enough to mumble "uh, yeah" and then just hurried through the rest of the visit while avoiding making eye contact. Evidently, he had led a very sheltered life, and must have been out sick the day they talked about anal sex in med school. She switched to a different doctor not long after that.
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1 pointWas that our book, SW_PA_Couple? Mrs. Alura was never averse to telling a playmate exactly how to do something the way she liked to have it done. He (and his wife) was often grateful for what he had learned. Alura
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1 pointI don't know about teaching but I'm sure I've learned something new from every woman I've been with. What would be the point otherwise?
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1 pointWe had to stop swinging many years ago because Mr. intuition sustained a...um...injury. I, uh...accidentally broke his penis during an especially vigorous round of lovemaking. He ended up with cracked penile cartilage which resulted in pain (obviously) and blood in his semen. He needed several months off (or at least low-impact sex) to allow it to heal. Anyway, I went in with him to his appointment with the urologist and he was explaining his symptoms to the young East Indian intern (don't know if culture has anything to do with sexual knowledge base, but I include it here in case culture might be relevant) and he furrowed his brows. "Well, how do you know there's blood in the semen?" he asked. Mr. intuition and I looked at one another, not sure what he was getting at. "What do you mean?" Mr. intuition asked in reply. "Well," he said, "how do you see your semen if you ejaculate during sex? (meaning inside the woman's body)" Oh my God. For real? Mr. intuition had to explain to the poor young fellow that sometimes a man ejaculates outside of the woman's body...like when he likes to plaster her with it. He blushed from head to toe. Welcome to the exciting field of urology, son.
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1 pointWe all have our personal likes (and dislikes). I don't have a problem asking my playmate to do (or not do) certain things. I don't consider it "training"
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1 pointI found it surprising myself when I joined a couple with a bi hubby for an mmf. They had entertained many guys before me but apparently had never gotten creative. Seemed like every time we had sex they would gush over how exciting it is to be able to experience new things. They were my first mmf and I assumed they would be teaching me. It worked out well, I was able to form them into what I felt was a great couple of lovers.
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