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My favorite is when people totally ditch us, then contact us three years later to get together as if nothing happened. We generally politely say no thanks.

She is being judgmental saying that. So long as it's what you and your husband want and it doesn't interfere with the rest of your life, what is the problem? That is a great attitude. Lots of guys in the lifestyle are like that. They are showing off what they have, which is a very desirable partner. Some guys like what others may think of as hurtful or emasculating. Ask Michael about what he thinks the line is between what he wants and what he would find objectionable, you may be surprised. While no one in my group is disrespectful to another, there are men and women who like to be "challenged" on their sexual adequacy, it gets them going. Myself, I've made it clear to Daniela that I don't care what she says to another man (or woman) about how good they are or that she loves them as she orgasms. So, you never know what's going through a guy's mind.

If there is an intelligible message we respond, even if it is just "no thanks, good luck." The goofballs who post picture requests out of the blue or use some app feature to broadcast requests, just get blocked as a response.

Yes, there are a limited number of swingers and after people cycle through the people in their age, locale and demographic group, they realize they are working with a small group.

Our first time was with my wife's maid of honor and her boyfriend at his apartment. They wanted to watch me and the wife have sex, which we did and it got the other couple hot and they started having sex right next to us. The gals started on each other and then the swapping of partners. No condoms were available which we ended up having bareback sex which was a big pregnancy risk, since we were in our early 20's. The other couple didn't last long, but we had much more sex with the wife's maid of honor over the years. Many nights of me falling asleep between the two of them!

Yes, set boundries and rules and stick to them! Later on, talk to your partner to see if your boundries need adjusting as you get deeper into your swinging experiences. I also suggest to " don't take one for the team". If you don't feel comfortable with a situation, don't do it. Best of luck.

Happens all the time. Swingers are really lacking in courtesy.

I may be paraphrasing. What concerns her is who we are meeting and the way we find them. Mike doesn’t feel he is Hotwifing, a new phrase for us. He says he enjoys that men find me attractive though that is the primary reason he enjoys watching as his comments lean to the enjoyment I get when I am with these strangers. He doesn’t want to see me hurt physically. He has stopped guys who became sadistic. He knows the signals and my limits.

This is one reason why we always try to meet the other couple sooner rather than later. Why waste a bunch of time emailing/texting/communicating with someone only to find out that they are not real/fakes/flakes. Even if they do show, if there's no 'spark' we're not going to be playing anyways. It's best to find out quickly and either move forward from there or move on.

Your therapist expressed safety concerns on the who and how you are finding these random men. She is aware Mike is there with you yet expresses concern. I wonder if it’s not so much as him protecting you but beyond that? I wonder if the risk adds to the obsession/fantasy element? When you are fantasizing about this is there a particular reaction from the stranger that you lean in to? Would role playing it be fun for you?

If you are not interested in women don’t play with them! I am not interested in men and wouldn’t play with them just to make a partner happy. I think it is common for people to have rules and boundaries that they change along the way with good communication with each other. We never really had any rules for each other, because we don’t see the point of doing it if we can’t enjoy it fully. The only rule we do have which will never change is we only do anything with both of us there. It is about shared experiences for us. Not about marking notches on the bed post.

This is so true and has happened many times to us! It is usually people that are new to the lifestyle. We assume we don’t match the super hot porn stars they think are out there and would actually be interested in them. When they figure out that there are not so many of them out there they come back to settle I guess. We usually just say sorry we are the same people we were last time you ghosted us and that boat has sailed.

Physical and emotional/sexual characteristics of mine that I used to be ashamed of are attributes others find attractive and I am now proud of. Joining this forum, describing my desires, practices, and body (as well as sharing my opinions) was freeing and gave me confidence.

Go ahead and spill your thoughts all you want. You shouldn’t care what the fuck others think if it makes you free. We are here to share so go share. Us guys want to know what women want and think. I love eating pussy like you love sucking.

We don’t ordinarily get upset if a couple doesn’t respond. What we don’t like is when a profile says “it’s rude not to respond to an inquiry” but that couple doesn’t respond to an inquiry themselves.

My Obsession is having oral sex with random men not controlling them. Most men think they are controlling me because I asked them to allow me to act out my wants. They don’t know my why or my thinking when I am acting out. Our therapist and Michael have heard me describe my feelings during our meetings with all types of men. Others have described similar feelings as being out of body or possibly out of mind feelings. I wish I were able to describe what I’m thinking to those reading this without afraid of some denigrating me and my wonderful husband.

The first time we swapped I was alone with a new man for the first time since I was married. I posted before the circumstances that led me to the most memorable night of our swinging life. I was so nervous that turned into a wonderfully romantic night. I described it as making love for the entire night. I can’t say I did anything new that night, nothing I had done with my wonderful husband, it was just the newness and caring with no holding back. We have repeated these nights over the years trying a few new things without the fear of others judging us. Similar to that first we have swapped with others where I spent a full night alone with a lover, sex with kissing and cuddling, things I call making love. Each partner is a new experience, the reason we continue to do this. I even spent nights with women which is not only new for me, it is a totally different feeling. Playing in front of others is strictly sexual, an act that is done with much less connection. The feeling I have are diminished and the acts are done and over. I am trying to be less inhibited in front of others, it is the mood that is different. The connection we make can’t be the same in a group for anyone. I’m thinking other swingers are happy just to have sex with others while no connection is necessary

Our therapist said my obsession has evolved into a dangerous obsession. She encourages me to explain my deep feelings of what I am thinking when we invite men to a room, what I am thinking when we are in the room and what I am thinking doing the act. She had suggested it’s control or being controlled in my past. Michael and I have had many swinging experiences that have changed over the last few years from one to one swaps to parties to now me enjoying pleasing men orally. When we are in joint therapy Michael brings up my reactions differently from what I remember. We also discuss what makes him want to watch me please others which makes me wonder what he says in his private sessions. I always make sure he is not being hurt or emasculated by my wants.

How about setting up a date and then when time to confirm radio silence? That is always annoying.

Great point! Both people in the couple should look at the message and profile together before deciding if it is someone they are both interested in. More than a little sure many guys specifically jump the gun before even consulting their wife to see if she is interested as well. Then a bunch of time is wasted chatting only for her to finally come along and say not interested at all. In most couples the woman is going to be the one who is more selective, because they can be with the hoards of men throwing themselves at them. As I like to say the pussy has the power in this lifestyle. God knows that pisses off all the alpha dom men out there.

I put Other. The first time we swapped with another couple, we (the wives, actually) decided that it would be better to do it separately, so after dinner we swapped partners and went back to the respective wives' homes and spent the night. Daniela explained that it is more intimate that way and there's no pressure to put on a show for your spouse. The next morning we met for a (late) breakfast and swapped back.

Living in NJ and hearing and reading that there was a nude beach close to where we were living we went to explore late one summer. We never told anyone we were going to go and prayed we wouldn’t see anyone we knew. We were very surprised how full the parking lot was and was about to go to one of the other beaches when a spot opened. Little did we know that the hesitation and finding that spot would lead to a new freedom for us. With finding that spot and a spot on the beach near two couples we learned about the history of the beach and the proper protocols of nude public bathing. Our new beach friends were friendly offering to share the wine and cheese they had, liquor has since been banned on the beach. I think it was us who brought up what we thought was illegal sex on the beach. In retrospect that innocent comment was all they needed to start the swinging talk.

The police report likely has a picture of her tits drawn by a sketch artist. ( . ) ( . ) They are now two of the ten most wanted.

Our first time started with a couple we met at our favorite nude beach. We invited them to stop by our place for wine after the beach which they accepted. After having the wine we said that we should go down to one of the hot tubs in the apartment complex. This hot tub was secluded and we found where to turn the lights off allowing us to go nude in there which the couple couple was quick to join us. After a little while in there the four of us came together in the middle and came away with a different partner. Some kissing and feeling one another led to lifting the ladies up on the deck with their legs over the edge with us going down on them. Becoming concerned about someone coming there, we got out, put clothes on and went back to our apartment. Once there the clothes came off again and we were back eating the girls which led to a full swap.

Well, the votes have been cast, the story "What A Surprise!" has been posted. Please, if you read and enjoy it, leave a comment for me. That will encourage me to post more of my stories to this and other sites. And if there's something I can improve, go ahead and tell me so.

The first time I swapped, I was just out of my first marriage. I was dating this girl, Laura, she also was recently divorced and wanted all the sex from me she could get. We often hung out with another couple at their house playing backgammon. (In the late 70's, backgammon was the hip thing.) One night somebody suggested we play strip backgammon. Okay! So I saw my friend Barb naked for the first time, and had sex with my girlfriend in the same room. Talk about a rush. A couple weeks later, we do it again. As Laura and I start going at it, I feel a hand on my back, it's Barb. She joins the two of us, a little later I see Laura's over with the other husband. I wrote this up as a story, should I post it in the story section? Just 'like' this post or 'hot' it, and I'll take that as a yes.

We (at our 30s) had a full swap (albeit not the first time) with our friends in a car. Mid-sized car btw. We had been out for dinner with a baby-sitter in both houses. So, we stopped on our way back and changed seats. Me and his wife in frontseats, my wife with our friend in the back of the car. The usual sequence of events: kissing, touching, fingering, oral for me. But the most complex was oral for her and finally, the big question: how to fuck with 4 in a mid-size car. This did not fit. So, we all had our orgasms but through mutual masturbation. Finally we all watched my wife finishing herself while I turned over and fingered her deeply. After we had come home, we had sent the baby-sitters away, we again swapped houses and we stayed for some more hours before going to our respective "legal beds". Good memories; now 30 years ago.

I am a stag and am posting about my first MFM experience in 2011...I had posted an ad in CL and got a reply..I thought it would be fake but after a couple of mails we exchanged numbers and I was actually surprised to see the number was real...The idea was to watch the couple fuck..However one thing led to another and both the guys were fucking the lady...She was in her 40s but looked like early 30s...It was a very enjoyable first exeprience...And yes this did happen in India.

You _are_ a wild woman. I recognize this. I married one. Two thumbs up.

The first thing I thought of was being in high school "parking" after a football game. I was with my high school boyfriend at the time and my best girlfriend and her guy were there too. They were in the front seat making out and we were in the back seat and her guy yells out "Hey, every time the song changes on the radio we should change partners and then change back at the next song." So, on comes a new song and he climbs over the seat to me and my guy climbs over the seat to my girlfriend. We kiss and lightly touch, although the petting got heavier as songs went on. It was a big turn on and felt SO naughty at the time!

On a camping trip. They had their camper and we had ours. We all had been drinking quite a bit. The women were getting pretty bold and sexual teasing was very high. A dare by the other wife, led to her showing some skin and the next thing I knew, we were on the picnic table feeling each other up. Beings it was very dark out and way off by ourselves, things progressed fast. I look over and see my wife's legs spread and her husband's head between her legs. Game was on then. We all ended up in our camper (Larger than theirs) and off came all the clothes.

At their house.. We had been talking about swapping/swinging with friends of ours for some time.. flirting, teasing and such. We never thought it would happen. Well one night they invited us over for a few drinks. After a few drinks and conversation the other wife asked my wife to go downstairs (family room in basement) to show her some pics of their kids on their computer while I stayed up and chatted with the husband. After quite some time I said to him "what do you think they could be up to?" to which he replied "maybe you'd better go have a look".. well when I walked downstairs I saw my wife leaning back on the sofa and his wife on her knees going to town. The look on my wife's face was priceless, she was in heaven.. The site of that and the other wife's naked body pointing my way was all I could take. Seconds later my clothes were off and we were having a threesome. Turns out this was all planned by our friends! He joined us after a bit and we all had fun. Odd thing about that night though, I performed like a champ for quite some time but never did cum with them. Later that night my wife and I had intercourse 4 separate times with climaxes each time. To date nothing has topped that first time.

Our first time started out at a local strip club with a couple we met online. The wife and his girlfriend were damn near going at it in the club. When this started to attract attention of the other patrons the other guy asked me if i would like to go back to their place to further continue. I said hell ya! Then here to find out the only lived right down the road a little ways from us. So our first time was at their house, but our house has made some others some very fond first time memories.

For me: a couple's house. They picked me up at a Denny's one Saturday night on their way home from a swingers' party. The wife was attractive, hot, and horny. The husband was turned on watching us. This was in the '70s, and I've been swinging ever since. For L: video booth at an adult bookstore. I took her on our third date. She did 4 guys that night. We've been swinging ever since.

Our first time was in our camping trailer. 2 other couples joined us and they started with each other and then moved to us. Also my wife's first bisexual expirence as well as mine.

First time was in a hotel. Our friends (who had recently begun swinging) invited us to a Meet & Greet and we agreed to share a hotel room. We had no intention of swapping with each other, and it almost didn't happen, as we all crawled into bed with our own spouses at the end of the night. My honey woke me up at the crack of dawn to play with me, and Mr. Friend joined in, and there was my first MFM. Then the boys took care of Mrs. Friend, which soon turned into a full on swap. =)

First time was at my brother's house. My wife and I had discussed it with he and his wife on the phone and in emails for awhile. (we now live 600 miles apart). We traveled back to our previous home where they live and spent a very tense, exciting day teasing, sneaking kisses and touches. That evening we had a steak barbeque and the guys decided to sit next to our in laws to keep up the closeness. Things progressed through the evening until we were all naked and got to know each other much better. Many years later, I still have vivid memories of that night.

At a club.

In a hotel, with another couple. Black lights and fingerpaints. White thongs look really cool under black lights, btw.

We went to several clubs and never really met anybody since we had no idea how to really make contact. We went to a Toga style house party and there all the planets aligned and we had a interecession by some diety because there was some serious running amuck...

indian goddess and I manged an adult video store and where the only workers with a private lounge for the employees its located out in the country on an indian rez where this kind of thing is considered taboo to the trdational elders which caused alot of dead spells and eventually the close of our store so when this guy came in who was working in the area for an out of town company my SO asked what I tought Itold her if she was interested ask so we took him in the lounge and had our frist 3-some then after we closed for the evening we went to his hotel for are 2nd 3-some we would like to play more with a couple but we would be happy if we could find a single person in are small town. makes it kind of hard cause of location

Our first was on our boat sailing, both couples were naked, getting sun and having a few rum drinks and the next thing I knew wife is all over him. They were friends and remain friends.

It was at our house. We met the couple on-line - went on a "date" to make sure we were all on the same page. The next "date" we invited them to our house. It was the first time for both couples - we weren't sure how to get things started. We had a few drinks and ended up playing the computer game "Fourplay". It turned into a very exciting night! Some of the activities were girl with girl, some were two women with one guy, two guys with one woman or three of us with one woman. It moved slowly at first, but once it picked up - it got pretty wild. The other woman was a squirter - the first time I had experienced it - luckily I knew about it or I might have freaked out. Our kids were very young (1 and 3). We put bells on their bedroom doors just in case they happened to get up and come looking for us (rare, but you never know). Nowadays we just go to the swing club - life is so much easier!

somewhere else.. For us it was at the house of a girls parents who was having a sleep over that all the boyfriends crashed

Mine was at a Club on premise house party for ladies only...then men were just there to watch and participate only after the ladies had finished. Wow talk about rocking your world...

Other, in our RV....that one was rocking all night long...one couple would end, the other would start up....and of course you could hear everything, inside the RV or setting outside...now that is another story in itself...explaining what was going on in your RV at 3AM while your naked outside with another woman...

Wow, it is so great reading all these. I am not as perverse as I thought I was... Last year my husband and I met an attractive group of friends at a dance club. We have become close and some of the friends have selective 'sharing'. A few weeks ago we were f'd up at a club, and we went to an after hours at a friends house. The other wife approached me (she is very bi) and I was feeling very good so to the suprise of both of our husband we started in on eachother. It was a really good night. I love her husband, but not attracted to him at all. She screwed my hubby which was hot, but I really didn't do much other than 'fluffing' to hers... and I really dont think I would want to do any thing with him again. I'm a visual pig, no attraction Anyways... looking very forward to another couple where both parties are smokin'.

Well my first time was in a tent actually, so I picked other. It was the summer after I turned 18 and I had been forced into spending a week camping at the lake with my grandparents and these two really cute guys were camping up the path and well one thing lead to another and I ended up happily in the middle of my 1st MFM. I had a really good time and we hung out a few times, since it ended up we all were at the same college in the fall.