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This is really an issue of boundaries. In an earlier time, there was an aphorism about not "Dipping one's pen in company ink", meaning that workplace liaisons were fraught and should be avoided. This from a time that pens actually required inkwells for writing... As earlier commenters have noted, putting adults in close proximity has a non-zero probability of sexual attraction. It doesn't happen everywhere all of the time, but it will inevitably happen somewhere some of the time. At least these liaisons did not involve students. Consenting adults can do what they want...but...not wherever they want. It ought to be clear to everyone that workplace behaviors are visible and scrutinized. The particulars here--exposure of the liaison followed an accusation of workplace 'spying'--should be sufficient to reinforce the wisdom of the aphorism mentioned above.

I don't know if there is a question or comment here, but I am not surprised, I think most school districts at one time or another has had to deal with a situation like this. In the late 70's while I attended high school our teachers were part of a swinging group and met at a teacher's house , it was common knowledge and if cell phones and texting was available then, I am sure their texts or pics would have surfaced. Just a few years ago teachers, coaches , and students were involved in a sex scandal at school and a few of the teachers and coaches resigned before being fired ! This all happened in a rural midwest town of 3,000 people and like I said earlier, I think most school districts face this problem. Whenever you put men and women together, sex is going to happen. 😜

So following on from my post where I said I was really unsure about involvement of another woman with my husband Our swinging situation began when he desired seeing me with another man, I made it clear I was unsure how I would cope should another woman approach him. He also desires to see me with a woman which I'm also very unsure of too however at the club this week I kissed, touched and was licked by another woman which he loved I didn't hate it but didn't love it As relatively new to swinging do people advise rules or boundaries and adapt as they grow on the journey Advice very welcome rather than judgement

Absolutely not. Then again we had been together almost 40 years and this was the next adventure. Starting too early or outside of a well grounded relationship could be a problem.

A therapeutic relationship is a two-way street (or should if you are not in old-style psychoanalysis.) If you have not already done so, you might wish to ask your therapist to expand on how they see your obsession as dangerous. Is there concern that you are literally putting yourself in physical danger, al a "Looking For Mr. Goodbar"? Or that you may be putting your relationship with your husband at risk? Perhaps that you will become so entirely focused on this one sexual modality that you will be unable to be satisfied in other ones? if you have already followed up with your therapist, what did they say? Based on how you have described some of your interactions with your therapist, I assume they are not horrified that you and your husband have an ENM relationship. Still, as a group psychotherapists tend to overall reflect societal norms and may be less open to non-traditional sexual matters than they think they are. Have you specifically discussed this with your therapist?

While I respect your style of play and relationship dynamics; the way our relationship works is that we as a couple always are the main priority and concern. We come into a situation together and we should finish together. I am not saying your dynamic is wrong but personally I don’t think it could ever work for us. As of right now we have been discussing things and it’s been rough. I will write more later I just got out of an 18 hour shift and having a hard time putting letters to words.

We don’t go looking for random non-swingers to meet even if we see a great looking couple at a bar or restaurant, I have wondered what a specific couple that we find attractive would be like if we approached. Being attracted to new partners is exciting and the guessing of what is going to happen or what is under those pretty clothes can be considered an obsession. The first time we get naked with others is something that is very exciting for me as it is for others who were honest when we met. I am guessing that the dangerous part that was mentioned is picking up several younger men who can easily overcome the husband.

If there is an intelligible message we respond, even if it is just "no thanks, good luck." The goofballs who post picture requests out of the blue or use some app feature to broadcast requests, just get blocked as a response.

Your therapist expressed safety concerns on the who and how you are finding these random men. She is aware Mike is there with you yet expresses concern. I wonder if it’s not so much as him protecting you but beyond that? I wonder if the risk adds to the obsession/fantasy element? When you are fantasizing about this is there a particular reaction from the stranger that you lean in to? Would role playing it be fun for you?

If you are not interested in women don’t play with them! I am not interested in men and wouldn’t play with them just to make a partner happy. I think it is common for people to have rules and boundaries that they change along the way with good communication with each other. We never really had any rules for each other, because we don’t see the point of doing it if we can’t enjoy it fully. The only rule we do have which will never change is we only do anything with both of us there. It is about shared experiences for us. Not about marking notches on the bed post.

Our first time was with my wife's maid of honor and her boyfriend at his apartment. They wanted to watch me and the wife have sex, which we did and it got the other couple hot and they started having sex right next to us. The gals started on each other and then the swapping of partners. No condoms were available which we ended up having bareback sex which was a big pregnancy risk, since we were in our early 20's. The other couple didn't last long, but we had much more sex with the wife's maid of honor over the years. Many nights of me falling asleep between the two of them!

Physical and emotional/sexual characteristics of mine that I used to be ashamed of are attributes others find attractive and I am now proud of. Joining this forum, describing my desires, practices, and body (as well as sharing my opinions) was freeing and gave me confidence.

Taking a serious break is the right thing for you to be doing. Without trust and communication, you shouldn't be swinging and it sounds like you need to work on increasing both at this time. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

She needs to sharpen up and take responsibility for her actions. This heat of the moment excuse only goes so far. I agree with the swinging break suggestions.

This doesn't get better with only time. It might be a good idea to step back from playing temporarily until you can sort this out with her. There's a misunderstanding here, and swinging right now is only going to make it worse.

While on Vacation at our Florida Condo, we met another couple at a Restuarant while waiting for a table. We had drinks together, then decided to eat together. After dinner we had more drinks and invited them back to our condo for a night cap. We had another drink and I explained that the building had a rooftop sundeck, my wife suggested that I show it to the other wife so we took the elevator to the sundeck. It wa 2 am and nobody was there, there wer no lights on, just the moon. As we were looking out at the Gulf, I felt her hand press against my cock, which was already ahrd. We then started to kiss and feel each other up. She unzipped my fly, sat down on a lawnchair and started to suck my cock. She gave me an outstanding blow job, so I returned the favor by removing her soaked panties, laying her back in the lawn chair and eating her ... she came several times. We then went back down to the Condo, when we walked in the lights were all off, but there was heavy breathing coming from the guest bedroom. We slowly nudged the door open to see her hubby fucking my wife doggy style. They didn't notice us so we watche for a few minutes and then went to the Master Bedroom, got undressed and went to bed. We fucked for a long time before we feel asleep. We all got up the next morning, had coffee, lent them bathing suits and walked the beach. We fucked every time we had the chnce for the next week. We found that they lived 90 miles from us back in Ohio. That started 15 years of swapping that has never been better. We have proggresed to others, but they are still our favorites.