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All awesome recommendations. Don’t look at her interest as a stepping stone to swinging. Treat it as a gift and journey that she is open to exploring. She is open to exploring, discussing, trying new things or adding more spice to the bedroom. Share, be supportive, and an active participant. Many people enjoy spicing things up in the bedroom. Even a little dirty talk and sharing fantasies but would never consider adding another person in their bed. Enjoy new experiences together and all communication should be shared freely without judgement, agenda, or hidden expectations.

Perhaps it's age, we have observed the same thing--no one is either surprised or distressed hearing that we do not wear anything in the hot tub. Nearly all who choose to join us are perfectly comfortable nude. There is an occasional younger adult guest who is (mentally) uncomfortable with social nudity, and we of course permit them to wear a suit--we ask that they choose an old one and make sure it is free of detergent and other things that stick on textiles. They quickly see our comfort and their (now physical) discomfort. Unsurprisingly, the next time they come in to the hot tub sans textiles.

Last night we visited with Lesley and Ken. We were sitting around chatting when Lesley came and sat besides me. "Why did you just take off your glasses" I asked her. "Like you can't guess" was her reply. I put my hand inside her sweater and began to fondle her boobs. Amy asked Ken if he was in the mood and he replied "like you can't guess". Lesley said she wanted a same room awap and we began in the living room. We swapped back and forth a few times before Amy asked Ken to finish inside her. I came inside Lexley. We had another drink, and then went for seconds. Somehow, seconds has become one of the most exciting parts of swinging. A perfect reason not to have separate rooms.

None of us here knows, and perhaps at this time even your wife doesn't know. My advice is for you to enjoy the adventure that you and your wife are starting together, beginning with looking at different types of dildos, talking about them, and letting her decide which ones to purchase. She may be interested in more than one, including a vibrator. Then let her show you how she wants to use it. Be very sensitive to what she likes, doesn't like, and new ideas that she has. A small step would be asking for her to switch it around - suck the dildo while your cock is in her pussy. Encourage her to tell you her fantasies, like whose cock she wishes the dildo is. Let her be the leader, don't criticize her, and enjoy the journey.

Hot tubs and swingers go together. That said, swingers who are fortunate enough to have hot tubs use them for more than playtime. If you own a hot tub, how do you find yourself using the hot tub when not playing with others? Is it simply hydrotherapy? Do you entertain vanilla friends as well? Is it a safe space where you feel comfortable talking about things with your partner (or friends) that might feel awkward discussing somewhere else? More generally, what draws you to your spa other than entertaining other LS folks?

Some stats on the swinging world. Interesting that a slim majority (50.2%) of men now identify as bi. 65.8% in the 18-39 age group. I think the days of that being a closeted thing in the swinger world are coming to an end. Also surprised me that 80.5% were soft swap only. https://swingershelp.com/swinger-survey-results-2022/ And they also provide a list of most popular swinging sites in various cities. https://swingershelp.com/popular-swinging-dating-sites/

I originally said to give it a few weeks and it would move on...I was wrong. I guess the issue is that the next great fad hasn't appeared so we are left with the last thing going.

I suppose that we are the exception to the rule you are discussing. Although not traditional swingers, we are a monogamish poly family that formed in our early- to mid- twenties and is firmly established in that we have a house and kids. But it does seem true that although young people have many and varied relationships, the goal seems to be to settle into a single relationship with swinging coming later, if it does come.

Definitely some odd requests in there.

When we first got into the lifestyle, it was so Daniela could get the sexual variety that she was used to as a single woman, so we hotwifed. It didn't really affect me either way, neither turn on nor turn off, particularly since the first guys were men she had fucked before anyway. Later as I did MFMs with her and her lovers it did turn me on. Now in our married couples group, it really turns me on to watch her fucking other men.

"Tell me lies, Tell me sweet little lies!"

favorite sexual position missionary (womens legs over her head on her back) I can and do go through them all, but like to end up on my back with the man doing the work. Some may think of this as me being submissive, but it makes me feel dominant, him working hard to give me what I want - my orgasm and his cum. My legs can be anywhere: flat on the bed, even inside his, or locked around his back, or over his shoulders. That's good for keeping the cum inside when he ejaculates.

Sorry for the lengthily response above….but we have seen to many couples rush into the lifestyle due to something said or done in the moment that had bad results……and caused relationship issues that were not present before.

Well lots of talking, discussion, communication is key. However do not start now. Now is the time for mutual exploration. she has opened a window…not a door. She has shared a desire with you. To expand your mutual sexual pleasure…….this very well over time will expand as you both discuss and explore together and very well may never include another live person joining with you. Couples will in time find their sex lives become common, reactive, the same activity just repeated. The first step is open discussion….over time. Learning and knowing the difference and recognizing the need for intimacy, love making and sex for fun and pleasure between and for the two of you. Just between the two of you. And the separation of these activities. And more importantly when and how to make the time for each other for these activities. Also add in the fun of search and discovery not just of each other…..but of things, situations and locations to also explore with each other and expand…..again new discoveries with each other. Toys of every imagination, role play, different locations ie B&B, hotels, outdoors……keeping things fresh and erotic…..not just love making. this will and should be over a great length of time…..years. We know of many couples we’ve met at fetish fairs and LS parties and themes that absolutely do not play with others at all but love the atmosphere, the toys and activities. Some graduate to same room or open room play but only between each other….just same room sex….enjoying the eye candy….the sexual energy….the vibe. But never with others just between themselves. Also know of couples who have learned and enjoy double penetration for the wife….yet have never had a live playmate. The husband uses a strap on with a sized real feel attachment to mount and simultaneously penetrate and fuck the wife vaginally and anally. One of our vanilla friends enjoy talking to us about their personal adventures with just each other and they love our stories in our adventures…..but have not and do not have a desire to have others join. Just between themselves. They even act out some of our adventures….but just between each other. Various dildos, vibes etc. they even use two different cumming dildos that they research and found a recipe foe a safe Semen or artificial cum….for her. Side note they also discovered the great importance on how to keep this toy clean/sterile…..for her health and comfort. Point is she opened up to you a small window of her desire. Not an invitation to kick open the door and barge through. Could lead to something….but more than likely just expanding sexual adventure for just the two of you. Baby Steps.

It is the word "there," but it doesn't mean possession, it should be "their." And neither "they're." Actually, I am flattered when David calls me "my wife" or Red calls me "my girlfriend." Or even if either would call me "his" woman, girl, partner, SO, mate, slave, or cunt. What does make me jealous is when hubby David or boyfriend Red refers to either Clair or Lora as "his" whatever, or she refer to one of them as "hers." And BTW, once when I was at the service desk of a major retailer, the store was playing the song "Me and Mrs. Jones." The manager was there and I told her that the song was inappropriate, that children were in the store, that it is setting a bad example. It should be "Mrs. Jones and I."

That's great. Me as well, I can time my orgasms pretty well to match his.

I use mine in the evening. I will strip down turn my radio on and soak while looking at the stars. Yes, my vanilla friends come over to soak and drink a few beers. They know ahead of time that I will be nude, they can be nude or wear swimsuits, most had seen me nude before because we went to high school together. We bring up all sorts of topics but try to avoid politics and religion. I really don't use my hot tub as far as sex and swinging. Neither me or K like pools or hot tubs for sex, maybe foreplay. Really it surprises me how many of our vanilla friends go nude. We have a 72 year old female neighbor that will jump in nude!

So, as I like to do, let's turn this question around - several times. What do wives think of their husbands eating pussy? Does it matter and do you prefer if she's on her back while he's doing the licking, or if he's the one on his back as she's grinding his face? (When Snowwhite was doing this to Pinocchio, she kept yelling, "Lie to me! Lie to me!") Do women like their husbands watching them give head? Making comments, jumping in, discussing their performance afterwards? Likewise, does your husband like you watching, participating, commenting on his oral activities with other women?

By trying to keep my previous post short and to the point, I may have mischaracterized what happened. First, Cindy had gone through a breakup of a long-term relationship and our previous conversations often had touched on sex generally and our sex lives specifically. So her commenting about my husband wasn't from out of nowhere. Second, her relationship with my husband wasn't a one-off thing, it was consensual all around and went on for almost a year. Third, my only disappointment was that I never got to see them having sex. The closest was when David and Cindy fucked at our place or hers while I was there. Several times at our place Red and did the same in another bedroom.

That was me. Except we agreed on only one rule - that neither my husband nor my boyfriend could have another sex partner, and they didn't. Until one day a woman friend of mine said how attractive my husband was and how nice it must be to sleep with him. My jealousy exploded and I calmly said, "That can be arranged, he thinks you're very attractive too." When I got home, I told my husband that Cindy thought that he was sexy and I wanted him to fuck her. He did and from then on I have "enjoyed" my feelings of extreme jealousy. While I know or am watching my men with another woman, I am still hit with painful jealousy. But when it's over, I can't wait for it to happen again.

Yes, it's all about trust.

That's the time and situation where your pussy is available for him to do so.

It was decades ago, when I was in my mid-was, but in my first joint non-monogamous with my first wife (a soft-swing) I found watching her masturbate the other guy to orgasm was extremely hot, even though I was in the middle of fingering his wife. I knew right then that I there was an aspect to my sexuality that not everyone else shared…😉 (More than a decade later, after both couples had divorced, the other wife and I got involved and now have been married for more than 30 years.)

I so very much love to watch the Mrs. suck and swallow another man. she has been told that she has a very special touch, at first she was not into it but now loves it, and goes after it like a hungry kitten after cream. It is so very hot and I love her so much more for sharing this with me. We have a rule that the man always has to kiss her deeply after.

On occasion, I am submissive and like to be dominated but never want to be or have been facefucked, gagging, or choked. It's more just letting her or him or them lead the way. And on other occasions I am the dominating one but never tried to choke anyone.

I'm in a similar boat. My gf was much younger than me and had an incredible sex drive. I became disinterested in her romantically and I knew something had to be done. So I began encouraging her to find someone else to hang out with in hopes that I would get a little jealous and want her again. So she found someone that agreed to have a sex only relationship with him. The first time she fucked him she really liked it and shared the details with me on her way home home. So there was a little jealousy on my part but I was overwhelmed by the idea of her getting so much pleasure from it. We had the best sex ever when she got home. I never imagined that I'd get so aroused when girlfriend fucked another guy. It was her sexuality that excited me. She's a gorgeous 23 year old blonde that does not fit the mold of sex machine. We talked about swinging but she was not secure with the thought of me being with another female. She was concerned that I might leave her because she was fucking someone else. Anyway she agreed to go to Hedo in Jamaica but made it clear she was not interested in swinging. She loved being naked though. I was afraid to strip down and needed her encouragement. Anyway she enjoyed meeting nice couples. The females tried to help her understand and I think she enjoyed the conversations as she became comfortable that they weren't trying to take me away from her. Eventually she let a girl we met play with my dick. Then one night at the pool where things get wild we did some ecstasy with a couple we befriended. She really opened up then. I was so high that I was all over the girl. In retrospect I would have kept my cool and not have been so aggressive but I was high and horny and sucking her big tits. I did glance over and watch my gf playing with the guys dick and kissing. Kinda wish I had played it cool and let her mess around first. She was kinda mad at me but I blamed the ecstasy. The next night I played it better. I told her to have fun and enjoy herself. So I spoke to the couple about letting her be the focus that night. Told the girl to focus on her more instead of me. So it worked great as he became a little more aggressive after his gf encouraged my gf to play with him. So instead of giving his gf attention I stood behind her and rubbed her ass as he rubbed her pussy. After I kept kissing the back of her neck and and rubbing her ass which made her more comfortable with his advances. So she began playing with his dick and making out with him. The cool thing was that the guy was very cool about me attacking his gf the previous night, smiling the whole time. So were in the pool at the time when his gf whispered in his ear. He then sat up on the edge of the pool with a giant erection about even with my gf's neck. So now were all anxious to see if she's gonna take him in her mouth. So I've got a throbbing erection at the mere thought of it. So I want watch her suck his dick so bad that I start licking her (which makes her super horny) I whispered in her ear and asked her if she liked his dick. She kinda turned red and turned around to face me. She asked if I was mad at her. I reminded her much we both enjoyed the excitement every time she came home from being with the other guy. So I repeated the question and she said yes. So she turned back around and began stroking him again. He then put his hand behind her head and rubbed her head while applying a little forward pressure. So now that she had my blessing she leaned forward and opened her mouth wide as he moved her mouth over his dick. I moved over next to his gf as to not crowd them. So this was the first time I watched her perform oral sex on someone else and it was more exciting than I could have imagined. The fact of the matter is that she loves dick and I had a choice to break up with her or give her the freedom to enjoy it. I made the right choice in my opinion. I still have hope that she will come around to swinging because I would appreciate her accepting it as I have with her. But shes 20 plus years younger than me and shes crazy about me. So as of now we love each other like crazy and I can't keep my hands off of her. She never stops giving me affection, its constant. She is less concerned with me leaving her or seeing someone else behind her back now. The key is giving her consistent positive feedback when she asks me if she can go fuck. I always kiss her when she asks that and show her my hard dick. And when she leaves she loves that I call to give her encouragement to enjoy the experience to the fullest. Ill tell her how horny I get knowing she cant wait to have another dick in her mouth. So I've enjoyed this more than I imagined I would. It is almost the same attraction guys have to porn stars I guess. Just wondering if there's something wrong with me? Lol

The answers I got from those in our poly family: Me, Petra - I've had fewer partners than the others, but early on when our poly family was just beginning to form with just David, Red and me, I started seeing a third guy who had never had anal before, so I regularly let him in my bum. Red - He had a girlfriend who had a rape fantasy. He played along because it wasn't very forceful, just him holding her arms down, pushing her legs apart, and her saying, "Violate me!" Clair - She was 100% Lesbian before she became bi. A friend of hers said her husband wanted to see her with another girl. Clair liked her, so they put on shows for the woman's husband. The husband did some soft play with Clair, but never fucked her. My husband, David - A girl he dated became super horny during her period, but prior boyfriends wouldn't put his dick in there when she was menstruating. David has no problem with it. Lora - An abortion. She became pregnant by a married man. These were all before our poly family formed.