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From a open discussion with LS friends on Friday night. Everyone at the table have been in the LS for eight or more years and have been quite active and have explored and experienced various activities and fantasies that interested them. The common thread was the women present ( several wives, girlfriends and three single ladies) had all experienced and enjoyed having at the least two men (MFM) to several at a time (or throughout the evening at a party). It didn’t take long into this conversation for it to turn into a ladies only animated conversation of their experiences and accomplishments with only their husbands/boyfriends asked to chime in verification/confirmation of the event, act or result of the experience. Hands down all of us males had enjoyed whatever happened in the shared stories. It was awesome to sit and listen to these women sharing their adventures, thoughts and results of their experiences and there was quite a bit of excited chatter and teasing…..lots of loud shouts and laughter. I was glad due to our number and time of the evening we were seated at the back corner of the dining area well away from the few dinners still present. I am sure there were a few servers who got an ear full. One noticeable revelation from observing all this was the common result of these experiences for the women. All revealed in one way or another the personality…..confidence…..level of comfort the all experienced as a result of their sexual sharing and experiences in the LS. Echoed by their spouses (those present). 1. Ability now to discuss openly anything with their SO. 2. Discuss, ask for what ever they had an interest in, desire, openly on any topic as well as sexually. 3. All openly discussed that sexually in their private lives prior to the lifestyle they rarely if ever initiated any activity with their SO only were reactive to initiation by their SO. And NEVER asked for or discussed their personal desires, needs or fantasies. (the single ladies present agreed they felt the same with any partner they might have. Including the husbands and boyfriends of other women that they shared) 4. Their personal sexual/sensual lives in their relationship have become broadened and deeper, a much closer intimacy (not just sexual) then before. Far more satisfying. It was not just a fun evening out together as a group (sex was not part of this evening at all, just social gathering) but so enlightening. Sitting having coffee this morning it occurred to me that all this, generally, is probably true to some level to anyone who is involved at some level in the LS. Dependent of course on what level or type of involvement in an alternative Lifestyle they are in. I also thought that there are common takeaways: 1. Situational shyness, intimidation, lack of confidence, appearance concerns and feelings/concern of being judged negatively. 2. That last part “feelings/concern of being judged negatively” is they largest shared issue that women have. From the time they are self aware 6, 7, 8 years old and on…..they are told, threatened, educated etc that their sex is private, not to be displayed shared discussed experienced and in many cases told any negative experiences are their fault….not being a good girl. 3. The confidence, personal strength, emotional discovery over growth and feeling at peace with themselves. Acceptance of who they are. 4. Sexual preferences and desires. Even with in their group a funny but eye opening discussion…and truth concerning size, preferred size and what/how it all relates. It really isn’t what it seems. LOL everyone grows in this lifestyle to their own comfort level. But to watch these women and listen to them (including my Queen) was just hands down amazing. This group of women discussing to only their experiences but some of their not yet experienced fantasies/desires. Their emotions. Support…..no negative judgements at all. Even bragging rights and one up man ship between them. A chance to get a peak into a part of the LS not often discussed……at-least with males present.

Yes we did

I read about couples getting started in the lifestyle on this website and they should read this entire thread, because this is a perfect example of observing the rules and boundaries of all involved. It isn't always as easy as " do you want to, let's go!" Everyone involved has to be on board for it to happen and the sexual tension it creates when everyone isn't in agreement. I don't think this is nearly over, I think it's always on all 3 of your minds and this may not happen, but who is to say as Joe and Shannon get older that they won't dip into the lifestyle!

OK, I'll bite: How are you finding these men? Are they bringing STI test results? She's never done this before so she obviously doesn't have a network of vetted men. One strange man can quickly turn out to be erratic and dangerous, especially if they've used substances beforehand to get comfortable for something this intense. How are you planning to manage the behavior of 10-15 people of the sort of people who are likely to show up to have explicitly unprotected sex with a stranger? If she's a submissive to you as you're implying, her safety is your ethical responsibility here. How many are you overbooking to deal with flakes? My advice to you would be that if you're both serious, that you go to a club on a theme night oriented toward this type of play. You will find people who are at least somewhat familiar with each other and safe play in a staffed setting. Put aside the creampie thing for now.

I believe you. I'm not being mean here. It's just that there are outlets for fantasy fiction and niche kink discussion on this board. Most "curious" people aren't going to have much to say about getting rawdogged by 10-15 strangers in one sitting. In fact, most experienced swingers won't. This is an extreme scenario with health and safety risks involved, and may scare off serious newbies.

Anal sex is ok, but two negatives relative to vaginal sex: the woman doesn't usually cum that way which is a big negative for me; as someone said, up her ass is really tight at the entrance, sometimes too tight, then way too open. I have to work my shaft on the entrance instead of the entire length. I much prefer the even, smooth feel of a pussy.

Many thanks for the relevant, and detailed information Peterj. This will be most helpful. Best regards to you.

When in college I was picked up more than once by women with husbands wanting to watch me fuck their wife. In college 21 year old men don't worry about getting robbed, drink spiked, or fatal attraction, all they are thinking about is that pussy! During college, we frequently went to a bar/ dance club where married women would pickup college men, it was well known for this. Most college towns have a place like this. Were I reckless, sure when you are young and dumb, you do dumb shit. These women were not meth heads looking to rob you. I would dance with these ladies and the topic would go to sex back at their place so her husband could watch. Does it happen? You bet it does and just think of everything you done in your teenage and college days.

After following this thread for a few months, and reading that something happened (no details provided as to what went on), I decided to chime in. The idea of picking up a stranger at a bar or club and doing him bareback is pretty hot, I would be concerned about any guy who would go along with this so easily. Yes, the lady says she's on birth control but what man would trust that? My SO wouldn't. Not a chance. A single guy at a bar/club jumping on a one night stand with a strange woman who says her husband is on board with it? This is the script of a lousy porn movie. ...Mr. Discreet here...Ignoring the risk of ending up with a child with a strange woman (anyone remember Fatal Attraction from 1987?) If an unknown woman approached me with the suggestion of having sex with her without protection (with her husband watching, participating, etc), I'd leave immediately. I would figure I'd been targeted based on the suit I was wearing, the watch I had on, etc. This is a robbery report I've seen dozens of times (most victims don't report it due to marriage risks and/or embarrassment). The mark gets as far as the woman undressing before the spiked drink knocks him out. He wakes up without clothes, without all his belongings and whatever logged in accounts on his phone cleaned out. I'm really curious to hear about how all this went down. How did you convince a man to do this? Mrs. Curiouscouple2001 must be something to be able to convince a man to gamble like this (especially the first time out trying to find a participant).

I find it extremely unsafe to go bareback with a complete stranger. I understand it might be as hot as hell but with a complete stranger?! The risk of getting AIDS or other nasty STDs is no joke here.

I think he means, "A gangbang with ten guys for a initial foray into the lifestyle? Hmmm. Good luck!"

Awesome advice here. My husband was like your GF, interested, hot, loved the idea, but totally concerned with the real deal. I was extremely patient and over much time we learned to play wonderfully together. After many years, once mu husband joined in the first many times, he was like your wife. After the face he was like, "Whhaaaaaaa did I just do?" Amen Amen Amen to this! So much wisdom in these posts from everyone. Now for the good and the bad - be prepared - duh duh duh duuuunnnnn. One of my best friends in college (yes a guy) married an awesome tiny sexy hot little thing. According to them both they had an incredible sex life. No children after 8 years and the sex was crazy good they say. Then my friend got the bug of wanting to see her taking multiple cocks. He didn't tell me until years later. He talked 5 of his friends into being fuck buddies. The deal was to use condoms with her if they are having sex with anyone else. If they were clean and not having sex with anyone else, condomless was preferred. He introduced it into role play and she enjoyed it, he spoke to her about it a little bit off and on, they used multiple sex toys eventually adding sex machines, they both say her orgasms were bigger and better. He figured, time to ask. His friends were still on board and he popped the question. She said yes to his request asking him how many at one time catching him by surprise. She was delighted with the number. He was again surprised. She began to push him to set the date. A month later they had a 3 day weekend planned. 6 guys, his wife, 3 days. I know you are talking adding one guy but what happened is still plausible. She told me years later that it was the most eye opening and body awakening experience of her life. He told me it was the hardest weekend of his life. So as many have said, take it slow, let her lead, and be very careful of what you wish for, you may get it and a whole lot more. According to them both, over the past several years they have had a consistent trains, gangbangs, and groups of men. His interest exploded into events. He says it got out of hand day one and is still out of control but he can’t slow down the express. From her side of it the stories are downright orgasmic, from him its more of - he is along for the ride barely able to keep up.

It may arise from my earlier insecurities with my body - small tits, large lips that have to be moved aside, big clit. But I am cute. Yes! Oh, yes. After wondering if she feels as good to him as I do, can I be as eager, I want him, I want her, I'm dripping wet. My desire is to suck his dick and taste them both, get him hard again and in me, lick her as he fucks me, stealing his cum out of her. Painful bliss. I can understand David or Red just fucking a woman for the sex, they've done it and so have I with other men. But understand that Red and David love Clair and Lora, as do I, since we women have had a child with both men and only them. Especially my husband David - he's never said so, but he loves Lora more than me (but me no less than he ever has). Poly life isn't always easy, sex within the family is never "just sex."

I realize it’s not real incest, but I find that topic a turn off, not a turn on.

Yeah see people declaring that they are ENM as part of their dating profile right from the get go with younger folks. As opposed to the more stereotypical husband of years trying to talk his wife into swinging of the past.

All three of us women have had vaginal births. And we in our poly family are totally honest with each other. The guys have been asked repeatedly about the tightness of our pussies and they had said they are as good as ever. Exercise maybe? I don't have a dick, but I've put fingers in many pussies and a finger in even more bum holes, and Mr. WesternSwing is right. I think for guys it's something to like and a drawback, but mostly just different. As a woman, I like my anal only when having DP for physical and psychological reasons, otherwise it does nothing for me.

Good point. Being nonmonogamous now starts before marriage, or even necessarily being paired.

What's actually going on there is women are just demanding less sexism than they put up with in the past. Not the physical/financial status. " But there’s a deeper problem with dating culture at play. Men are feeling lonely, because expectations for men have been famously low and they tend to half-arse both dating and their own personal development, and women are, put simply, giving up on them, weeding out the week and raising their dating standards. Psychology Today puts it this way: “[Women] prefer men who are emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values.” And because men are… not always the best at all of those things, women are ditching them. " https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/women-dating-standards-higher-than-ever

Feeld caters pretty specifically to the non-monogamous folks. The majority of people we see there are ethically non-monogamous in a couple. Where each member of the couple has their own profile but they are linked together. Also generally very nice and genuine. Having a much better experience than SLS/AFF/SDC. Much lower pressure, just friendly interactions. Profile pictures are PG and no one has hounded us for anything more. None of the immediate dick pic nonsense. More how's your day going, what's your favorite drink, what would you want to do on a date sort of more normal small talk. We're liking that environment. But yeah I've heard that talking point before from some talking heads of a certain political persuasion.

My GF hates condoms compared to bareback but I don't think she ever had an urge to have sex with a complete stranger with an emphasis on it being bareback. Things can happen in the heat of the moment and no one is perfect. So I don't find the obsession with bareback sex odd but the obsession with having bareback sex with a stranger as a first time just seems a little odd to me. Maybe it's not though.

I get the appeal of sex with a stranger but the obsession with wanting bareback sex with a stranger so badly seems a little bit odd to me especially for a first time. What are yours and her expectations? Swinging, cuckolding, MFM...?

After nearly 25 years together I recently learned that my wife doesn't really like dirty talk, so I've since learned to shut the $#@! up in bed. I want her to have max pleasure. She knows, however, that I love it, and recently indulged me in some great sex talking about watching her ride another man. I had to respond, of course, so I whispered in her ear that no matter who fucks you...I own your pussy. She exploded as did I. It was intense! Just to be clear, I don't own her at all but she loves when I take charge. It's all in great fun but dirty talk is now only initiated by her since I want her to be respected and experience the best that I can give her. M&M

That was a turning point in my life, and not just sexually. It took me two years to let my husband have sex with another woman (and I had to be the one to choose her from among my friends and acquaintances) after him being good with me have a boyfriend. The women I chose at first were eager to have sex with hubby but didn't want me there to watch. I was unbelievably jealous, but also became addicted to the feeling and the thrill of getting my husband back - of him still wanting me after having her. What changed my life sexually was when I found women who would let me watch and participate. It amped up my jealousy, but it also made this 100% straight girl (and I was just a girl at the time) want to taste her on his dick; eat his cum out of her pussy. Clair opened me to my Lesbian side. It changed my/our life when Clair joined hubby, Red, and me living together to form a family. We had children; Lora joined our family; we had more children. So yeah, what I thought was going to be a one-time jealousy challenge for myself turned out totally differently than the "fantasy."

I agree with everyone here. What was stated in the heat of the moment and when everything is crumbling are two completely different universes. A sleeping location is not the place to solve problems. It is for having sex, so have fun with it. After you've both cooled down, bring it up and debate if this is something you like as a game or if you're truly interested in digging into it. Using toys and saying inappropriate things is far different from really witnessing someone you care about with someone else.

Like many others have said in the heat of the moment and when everything is coming down are two different worlds. Have sex, enjoy yourselves and after both of you have calmed down then bring it up and discuss if this is something you enjoy as a game or are you actually curious about looking into it. Using toys and talking naughty or very different then actually seeing someone you love with someone else.

And in my long life, I have found that many times, fantasy is better than reality.

I wish more men would come out to their wives. When I told my wife that I enjoyed penises, she was shocked and wanted to know if I had a man on the side. I told her no but I wanted to share one with her. She is also bi. We had several 3soms with women and we started having them with men. We both prefer the third to be a male. We now have a bicouple who we are exclusive with. We rather new with them and the sex is great in every combination. I am so glad that I came out and so is she.

They have to sell. So much free porn. They have to up the game

Swinging never damaged my relationships, but there was well deserved damage to my self esteem. After having married David while still having Red as my lover, I was full of myself. I thought I was a master of sex with men (not yet having discovered my Lesbian side) and believing that I could easily manage an expanded sex life. So I thought when I met Sam, found him attractive, and announced to hubby and Red that I was going to have sex with him as well. Well I did, and it wasn't fulfilling or even fun. The first couple of times were exciting, but Sam was a poor lover. He thought he was God's gift to women, just wanted me to blow him and fuck me in my bum, which was OK but anal alone doesn't make me cum, and he didn't care about my orgasms or satisfaction at all. On top of that Sam disparaged my husband (he didn't know about Red), saying that David must be sexually inadequate for me to let him fuck me, and a wimp when I told Sam that hubby knew about us and was OK with it. I would complain to David how my fling with Sam wasn't working as I had expected, and what I was thinking that I needed to do to improve it. (I'm compulsive and goal oriented.) David gave me the best advice - that it wasn't my solely responsibility to make whatever I was doing with Sam feel right. It then became clear to me that I was taking credit for the two relationships that I had with Red and David being so great, when in reality it was their attitude and efforts that made everything work so well on every level. My husband is a saint and the wise man in all of this. I would come home, we'd have sex (because despite what Sam did I still needed to fuck my husband and Red) and I would complain about how badly it was going. He told me it wasn't my responsibility to make this work, it wasn't a failure on my part, that I could end it. He was right. I ended it, humbled, and all was good.

So an update on the subject, I had a conversation with my wife about this to gauge how she felt, she did admit it’s something she would like to do I asked about the how’s and when’s etc.. she says that what she says in her fantasies is how she would a actually do it so a stranger and if I also would allow it she would like it with no condom so she can enjoy the experience raw, again I’m open to this no problem even bareback. we will just now have to look at setting up properly when we can.