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We have been together since we were 16 no break Ups both of us 40 at the time of this post …. As far as the fmf it was her idea to try something new …so does that mean I have to be ok with doing something I never suggested? And as far as being selfish I’m at least considering how a mfm would be even tho the whole thing isn’t my idea …. We have been to swingers clubs and enjoyed being watched and same room sex with other couples btw

My advice, from my experience, is to let your partner decide your path and the speed you travel. Be generous with her in letting her do things without requiring reciprocity for you. Swinging, or the lifestyle, does not require symmetry. She may start playing while you don't, then you may do MFMs and not FFMs. Let her feel secure and comfortable exploring and she will then bring you along shortly thereafter. All I can say is that it worked for me. I enjoyed my wife enjoying herself, then she wanted me to enjoy playing too.

Well, not all men are jealous. From the sound of your sentence 'you have agreed to do a fmf...' sounds like you are not only jealous but are selfish. You're happy to have another woman but your spouse isn't allowed to have the same dual pleasure because you "would snap". She probably says she is "cool with not doing mfm" because you stated you'd "snap" and/or have a history of jealousy so she won't say anything to rock the boat. She submissively says she'll do the fmf because you likely stated how hot it would be. Curious of your age, how long you've been married. Those who thrive in the lifestyle have very solid relationships and one of a good length. Most are mature enough to handle it. Those who aren't end up splitting up. There are many threads here about couples who regret opening Pandora's box.

The sharing yes. Many Tribe/Klan structured societies not only shared but had beliefs and festivals promoting this. Literally mating with passing travelers/wanderers just to add new blood lines to a limited tribe/klan.

Many thanks for the relevant, and detailed information Peterj. This will be most helpful. Best regards to you.

We just returned from a very interesting vacation with the first friends we met after moving to a new city. They asked us if we would be interested in joining them with three others in sharing an AirBnB in Florida. The house was near a beach, something we love, and had its own pool, a truly luxury house. They only knew one of the couples who knew the others we were sharing the home with. Big surprise, one of the couples at the house were two women who are married, a lesbian couple. At first I didn’t know why they were joining a group like ours or did they not know. I questioned one of the other men what their story was and I was assured they were married and knew exactly what the others were there for and it wasn’t only for the beach and sun. I always thought lesbians are turned off by men, possibly revolted by the thought of being with a man then I was enlightened. I didn’t realize most lesbians had sex with men at some time in their life and a percentage continue to enjoy men sexually. Of course women use phallic toys if not an actual man in sexual play. These two women fell in love and married just as heterosexuals do, and are not completely monogamous just like those of us posting.

From a open discussion with LS friends on Friday night. Everyone at the table have been in the LS for eight or more years and have been quite active and have explored and experienced various activities and fantasies that interested them. The common thread was the women present ( several wives, girlfriends and three single ladies) had all experienced and enjoyed having at the least two men (MFM) to several at a time (or throughout the evening at a party). It didn’t take long into this conversation for it to turn into a ladies only animated conversation of their experiences and accomplishments with only their husbands/boyfriends asked to chime in verification/confirmation of the event, act or result of the experience. Hands down all of us males had enjoyed whatever happened in the shared stories. It was awesome to sit and listen to these women sharing their adventures, thoughts and results of their experiences and there was quite a bit of excited chatter and teasing…..lots of loud shouts and laughter. I was glad due to our number and time of the evening we were seated at the back corner of the dining area well away from the few dinners still present. I am sure there were a few servers who got an ear full. One noticeable revelation from observing all this was the common result of these experiences for the women. All revealed in one way or another the personality…..confidence…..level of comfort the all experienced as a result of their sexual sharing and experiences in the LS. Echoed by their spouses (those present). 1. Ability now to discuss openly anything with their SO. 2. Discuss, ask for what ever they had an interest in, desire, openly on any topic as well as sexually. 3. All openly discussed that sexually in their private lives prior to the lifestyle they rarely if ever initiated any activity with their SO only were reactive to initiation by their SO. And NEVER asked for or discussed their personal desires, needs or fantasies. (the single ladies present agreed they felt the same with any partner they might have. Including the husbands and boyfriends of other women that they shared) 4. Their personal sexual/sensual lives in their relationship have become broadened and deeper, a much closer intimacy (not just sexual) then before. Far more satisfying. It was not just a fun evening out together as a group (sex was not part of this evening at all, just social gathering) but so enlightening. Sitting having coffee this morning it occurred to me that all this, generally, is probably true to some level to anyone who is involved at some level in the LS. Dependent of course on what level or type of involvement in an alternative Lifestyle they are in. I also thought that there are common takeaways: 1. Situational shyness, intimidation, lack of confidence, appearance concerns and feelings/concern of being judged negatively. 2. That last part “feelings/concern of being judged negatively” is they largest shared issue that women have. From the time they are self aware 6, 7, 8 years old and on…..they are told, threatened, educated etc that their sex is private, not to be displayed shared discussed experienced and in many cases told any negative experiences are their fault….not being a good girl. 3. The confidence, personal strength, emotional discovery over growth and feeling at peace with themselves. Acceptance of who they are. 4. Sexual preferences and desires. Even with in their group a funny but eye opening discussion…and truth concerning size, preferred size and what/how it all relates. It really isn’t what it seems. LOL everyone grows in this lifestyle to their own comfort level. But to watch these women and listen to them (including my Queen) was just hands down amazing. This group of women discussing to only their experiences but some of their not yet experienced fantasies/desires. Their emotions. Support…..no negative judgements at all. Even bragging rights and one up man ship between them. A chance to get a peak into a part of the LS not often discussed……at-least with males present.

My wife isn't into oral in general, she'd rather use her hand or feet. Would her not performing oral or no wanting oral on herself an issue for getting into the LS community?

Myself (27) and my partner (24) are looking to get into swinging. We work and live in Ireland but travel to England a fair bit. We are just testing the waters for now but would love to get chatting to people about it all. Thanks for reading.

I assume at least some groups of them did. Once when I was in my mid-20s my then wife and four of her female med-school classmates were hanging out at our house and drinking wine. After a few glasses the conversation started getting pretty sexually explicit — almost raunchy. It was like they stopped even noticing I was there. And part of me wished I wasn’t. My wife was pretty discreet, but over all I’d never heard women talk like that. 😳😂 (I’m way more jaded now…)

can easily do that at a club

Yeah, instead of thinking that it's a big deal for a woman to let a man put his dick in her bum, it's more amazing that he'd put his precious penis in there. What if she had Mexican for lunch?

I would categorize these women as bisexual, except that instead of having fallen in love with and marrying a man, they married each other - women. Unlike many bisexual women who marry a man and occasionally want pussy, they married pussy and occasionally want dick. And just like women who start out straight then have their first bi experience with a woman, it is possible for a woman to start out totally homosexual and have only Lesbian sex until her first bi experience with a man. Clair in our family was like that, totally Lezzie for the first eight years of her sexual life (she started early) , until she was attracted to a guy and found that she enjoyed men as well. She lost some Lesbian friends over it, but still most of her lovers were women. According to Clair, my husband was the first man she fell in love with, i.e., could see herself having a permanent relationship with. Clair was my first Lesbian encounter. So she moved in with us.

I think can agree that we agree. 🙂

We are ok with mostly everything except for pain or dirty stuff, and after almost 10 years in the lifestyle I have received many uncommon requests. For me, I would say feet-related things are the most popular requests I received. For my husband, the usual request he receives is to have rough sex with the other lady, like rough anal sex, cock slapping her face, choking, etc.

I won't let any mess stop my or my partner from having any kind of sex. I have had sex and oral sex during her period and yes I have came up from oral with a red ring around my mouth, how many men or women haven't. I love tongueing a women's asshole especially when I rub her clit at the same time. As far as anal intercourse, I have dealt with a bit of poop, but I don't make a big deal out of it. Piss, blood, poop, and cum I have cleaned up and it doesn't deter me. If she is into it, game on!

I and others in our group, including my wife, have done it last minute, and the guy has gotten poop on his dick. Yeah, it isn't a vagina. But we're realistic, it is the end of the digestive tract. Just as strange and kinky as putting your mouth on someone's dick or cunt. But anal is a guy's mandatory last act of his for that session, except on rare occasions when his dick has gone into another ass. After that it's a meticulous clean-up. More than a shower, the guy's dick is scrubbed with special medical grade antibacterial soap. Also a mess is what the woman expels afterwards. It's not pretty, especially if she's taken sloppy seconds, a second load, in there.

There are two reasons that I like to have an MFM with my wife. The first is that I am happy, as you should be, that she is having a good time, perhaps enjoying experiences and pleasures that she hasn't had before, even with me. It doesn't mean she thinks less of you or wants you less. When my wife has mind blowing sex with another man, I am the one who gets the credit for it. Second, when another guy is enjoying sex with my wife, he is jealous of me, no different than if he borrows a car or boat of mine he covets, or he's a guest at a club I belong that he envies. He gets to sample it, but it's mine. Same with my wife, she is still mine but happier and with a glow of desirability from other men. (Not "mine" as in possession, but "mine" in that she wants to be with me.) Primary for all of this though is that the sex she has with other men is what she wants to do. Maybe she doesn't want an MFM with me. Maybe she wants to play with some other guy alone. Or another couple alone. Or even have an MFM with two other men. All either with me there or not their. Her call, her pleasure. She always comes home grateful, which is all that I want. (Her gratitude, or just personality, is to give me all the sex I need and still let me play with other women.)

Ok my two cents. Not for or not at all. But ( yeah it is what it is) fuck people this is not a clean area. Mic drop! First ignore porn, totally. Really. Not even at fetish. The prep for anyone is days….for a clean canal. Yes days. People we are dealing with an output not an input that is messy unless your kink is poop. Or do you need Moore?! BUT YES it can be great but not…ever…ever…ever as a last minute decision…want…need….com on poop Shute….even if evacuated still has residue and bacteria. Seen, filmed…total deal killer….and participated. Clean as sterile as you can be….totally orchestrated. Be real. can’t believe some people believe this is hot…..crap every where.

It's great that they found each other and opened up the communications. And goes to show that women, at least some women, are capable of and desire much more sex than their partner. Another important lesson is that this openness and common interest enhances a loving couple's marriage.

Great observations; may I add one more? All of this is true and simple if viewed from the perspective that being nonmonogamous is the natural state of being human, even as we form close emotional attachments.

TeamCalgary, Feeld is good for finding others seeking ongoing friendships, as Nerds and I have noted. Your concerns about the geographic factor is a reasonable one. You have observed that Canada appears to generally get short-shrift from all lifestyle platforms. Here’s my perhaps relevant experience with Feeld in that regard. We spend most of our time in our home in a quite rural part of the Hudson Valley (an hour’s drive to the closest big box store). But we also own an apartment in Manhattan and spend some time there. Feeld follows me around. (I think I gave it permission to do that.) When we are up in the Hudson Valley I get relatively few prospects served up, and many of them turn out to be farther distant than those far-away big box stores. (Keep in mind that I’m an older man who plays without my wife, and I’m looking for couples who want to play together. That’s a small universe…😉😂) But Feeld knows when we are in NYC and I get quite a few hits. And if we travel to Boston, D.C. or another area Feeld will automatically serve up prospects in that area. It’s a mixed blessing. It’s always nice to make a connection, but because I’m looking for ongoing relationships someone a three- or four-hour drive (a plane-ride) away is of limited value for me or for them. Overall to me one of the good aspects of Feeld is its geographic specificity. For members who are planning a trip to an area far away there is a feature called "Teleport" which allows you to see and be seen in different major metro areas in North America and Europe without actually being there yet. My suggestion is to give Feeld a try For a month or 90 days. Three months of the premium (called "Majestic") membership is about $25 USD. Purchase a dozen "Pings" (which allow you to notify folks you are served up of your interest.) The Calgary metro area is about 1.5 million, so there should be a decent number of folks who fit your criteria assuming the two of you play together and are not looking for something too exotic. Depending on how satisfactory you find the results during those three months, you can cancel your membership or proceed. (For me, making a couple of connections that lead to a coffee or meal meet up is well worth the quarterly price.)

Hello from Canada, It is a pleasure to meet you Irishcouple123, welcome to the swingersboard. As you navigate the waters of the swinging life, consider that we all started somewhere and that there are many people here that have experienced the same sort of issues that may arise on your journey. Reach out to us here, this is how my wife and I came to join this board, with it becoming a combination therapist and sex coach for us. The experience here is broad and deep and can help you stay out of trouble in many cases. Best regards to you both and good luck in your swinging journey.

Welcome! and thank you for joining us here. From my perspective, it I great to have younger people, like myself, join in. Please keep us updated on your adventures.

It wasn't a sexual request, but the wife of another man asked me to go on a vacation with her (twice) to do non-sexual things that both of our spouses aren't interested in at all. Yeah, we had sex during that time, lots of it and it was fun, but sex was not the primary motivator for us to go off together. We can fuck pretty much anytime we want without going out of town. Actually, my wife was disappointed when reading the texts and emails between the other wife and me that there was no sex talk, just reservations, tickets for the theater, opera, concerts, museums.

When me and my ex were swinging, we swapped with a Baptist preacher and his wife. The preacher's wife had always wanted to strap on a cock and give it to the preacher, which he would not allow. So she asked me if she could me, and I said "you can have my ass, if I can have yours". She surprised me how good she was, because as she fucked my ass she also reached around and jerked me off. I really don't find this too odd, I think alot of women have this fantasy of strapping it on and giving it hard to her man or another woman,.

The answers I got from those in our poly family: Me, Petra - I've had fewer partners than the others, but early on when our poly family was just beginning to form with just David, Red and me, I started seeing a third guy who had never had anal before, so I regularly let him in my bum. Red - He had a girlfriend who had a rape fantasy. He played along because it wasn't very forceful, just him holding her arms down, pushing her legs apart, and her saying, "Violate me!" Clair - She was 100% Lesbian before she became bi. A friend of hers said her husband wanted to see her with another girl. Clair liked her, so they put on shows for the woman's husband. The husband did some soft play with Clair, but never fucked her. My husband, David - A girl he dated became super horny during her period, but prior boyfriends wouldn't put his dick in there when she was menstruating. David has no problem with it. Lora - An abortion. She became pregnant by a married man. These were all before our poly family formed.

Everything but my eyebrows! I shave my head anyway, so what the heck. I think that it was a big trust thing on her part, how many men allow a woman with a razor near their junk. Anyway I look at it as a good start to foreplay and if she gets off by shaving me, then so be it. She was very passionate and accommodating to my needs.

Sorry ……..I read this wrong and thought I meant you. As in they were going to go first again…..my misunderstanding

I love the taste of sex !!! I love the taste and smell of my wife's pussy ... We both love to kiss and share each other's taste after we have even each other oral !!! I love the the taste of her mouth and tongue after she has given me a BJ !!! And the taste of her pussy after we have had sex !!! Sometimes after oral sex we kiss for long periods enjoying the smells and tastes of our bodies !!! This is one of the reasons I desire swinging with her ... I can only imagine the taste of her after she has experienced sex with others ... I love this post !!!!

I once ate out my friend's wife. It was at the end of a long double date with lots of flirting and knee caressing under the table. All individuals involved were highly excited and turned on. Then we came home and flirted more and finally got down to some neck kissing and above the waist petting. When it escalated to cunnilingus she reclined back on the sofa and slid her body down and spread her legs. I pushed her skirt open and kissed my way up her inner thighs. She was a big girl and it had been a long day of flirting. Her thong was so wet. It felt as if a water balloon had popped between her legs. It was amazing. I dove in with my mouth. Half sweaty half slimy from her juices it tasted amazing. It's an amazing scent and it drives me crazy. And the taste was even better. She apologized for the musky scent and taste as she was well aware at her size her pussy didn't get a lot of fresh air, but she was a really clean girl and I loved the scent and taste of her hyper excited dripping wet sweaty pussy. Sorry, didn't intend to tell a story here, but the topic immediately made me remember this amazing encounter. Her pussy had been thinking about me all day and the smell of it was amazing. I do love the smell of sex.

I am just not a big fan of anal, but when I want it, I only want my hubby to do it for me. There's a level of trust and comfort with him that just isn't gonna be there with someone else. We put the anal limitation line it in our profile because it's off the table with playmates and we want to state that up front. There seems to be an assumption that women who enjoy two or more men want DP. It almost always comes up in an opening conversation with potential playmates. All that being said, we've not been asked to do it during playtime.

Aaah, the smells and tastes of sex. Nothing ruins it for us more more than heavy cover ups. The smell of female musk is intoxicating, and the taste of pussy on my wife's mouth is wonderful. We came home from a night at an on-premise club and I was sucking my wife's nipples. It was then I remembered a guy cumming on them while she sucked his balls. The taste brought that whole moment back to me... and it was pretty hot.

We've been to a club multiple times. Nothing as of yet