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What Peterj said. and When you couple that with what a powerful bonding agent sex is this is not unusual. I am guessing that being besties with an ex spouse is about even with LS friends whose relationships is not altered somewhat. This is understandable. The LS isn't marriage, but there are some comparable factors. How many marriages falter if sex suddenly ceases? It still sucks though.

Perhaps not surprising, njbm, but I’m sure still a bit disappointing. You and your wife would like to think there were aspects of your relationships with swinger friends that would be sufficient for those friendships to endure even absent the sexual component. Alas…🙁 My personal observation is that this phenomenon is not restricted to swinging friendships. I have friendships that go back more than 50 years to grad school, undergraduate and even high school. These friendships are broad-based and we have a long mutual history. I expect these folks will be friends until we die (which frankly is happening all too often to both vanilla and lifestyle friends.) However, in the case of friendships that developed in a specific context — business, participant sports or cultural activities — when that focal point is lost because that specific connection is broken for them or for me, with only a few exceptions the friendship fades. It’s not that there’s anything negative; the valence of the other positive adpects of the relationship aren’t sufficient to keep it going.

Always helpful having your unique insight couplers, especially on matters such as this. Thank you for being part of our larger "family" here on the board.

Daniela and I have our bed at just the right height so I can eat her out for a prolong time (if necessary) without any discomfort for me. It usually doesn't take long except when she's fired up from a play session, my balls and dick are spent, but we get home feeling romantic and she wants to cum one more time. I don't have a mustache, Daniela does down there. Nicely trimmed, but it reminds me she is a post-pubescent woman.

Since COVID 19 hit in early 2020, we also took a break. Our break actually started when a couple of couples in our fairly small and pretty much closed group of swing friends started having problems with HPV. This definitely has caused some serious problems for all. We started doing checkups every 6 months, went to watch and be watched only and not even a hint of soft swing either. After nearly 3 years we both went back to yearly checkups. I got the original HPV Vaccine when they came out (I am a youngun I guess) . Robb and I both got the newest HPV vaccines on our dermatologist's recommendation regarding some skin cancer spots we both had removed. Insurance wouldn't pay for the vaccines (three shot series) for us older folks. Unless some cure comes up for HPV, we will just continue to watch and be watched, which has definitely shown us which of our swing friends were actually friends and which were not. Julie and Robb

njbm, very sorry to hear of this. What we (my wife and I, as a couple) frequently forget is that the LS encompasses such a broad swath of territory. We also make the (mistaken) assumption that every couple we meet feels the same we do and shares our likes, dislikes, direction, goals, etc. Time has repeatedly proven us wrong in that thinking. Couple this is the dynamicism (sp) of the relationships involved (within couples and between couples) and it's amazing actually that anyone actually ever meets and ever gains a modicum of satisfaction. It is to be expected, as you say.

Ready? From my experiences, it isn't that he isn't "ready." Guys sometimes get close to making it over the top but then slow it down to extend their pleasure. Believe me, I often like a long ride. And I've become really good at controlling my orgasms, either holding back with him or engaging my mind and body (thinking about his ejaculation arriving) and quickly getting there. But if I've already orgasmed twice, thrice, or we're doing a morning quickie, it's time for him to get it done and move on. Rare, but sometimes necessary. Most times after a guy has cum and ejaculated even once, if the woman hasn't had her orgasm he becomes flaccid and can't keep going, while if the woman has had enough she's expected to lie there and keep taking it. I'm not all complaints. As I said, I'm good at my own timing, speeding up or slowing down my orgasms, and I can have one big O and still have a well-timed another. Plus I do two things that can make a guy cum - talk dirty (especially "Cum in me, cum inside me," and "Give me a baby.") I also have decent muscles and can squeeze/pulse my muscles down there to set him off. Get off me. Fortunately for them there's usually another willing pussy around the house. I'll watch the kids.

I had anal sex for the first time because my new girlfriend wanted and initiated it because in her mind it was especially intimate. Who was I to object? I quickly had to educate myself on the act, and it became a regular and really fun part of our sex lives. There was no domination etc.

The other way around for us. I had a boyfriend, my ex-fiancé, but hubby didn't play; I was too jealous. But when a female friend of mine said my husband was attractive and it must be nice to sleep with him, I said that it could be arranged. And so I did. In retrospect, going home and telling David that he was going to have sex with my friend wasn’t right. In my defense, I was in a weird, wild emotional mood (that wouldn't be an acceptable excuse if a guy did this to his wife), and David didn't mind at all. I subsequently arranged other sexual encounters for David with other of my female friends and acquaintances. It all went well. We are still on good terms with all of them, including the married ones (whose husbands know). So friends and acquaintances can work.

In our poly family, Lora and I do this occasionally as a conclusion to our "insults and fight" sessions. (The others want no part of it, not so much the golden shower, but the fighting.) Whoever the "winner" is pisses on the other; it's about 50/50. We both like both sides of it. The golden shower takes place in the shower so we can clean each other up, start kissing, and transition to making love.

K and I never have anal sex because K isn't into it and I can take it or leave it. I have had swing partners ask for it especially if they want DP, or just anal from me. Most partners that ask me for anal has told me that they don't get it at home. I would rather get great oral instead of anal.

This is called a parallel and is a starting point for some couples and a kink for others. You should not have any trouble finding another couple to engage in this with you; just be very clear about exactly what you are looking for and that there will be no intersecting/trading of partners, hence the name.

Not all of us can succeed in the endeavor, but the "in sickness and health" thing does set that standard. I have witnessed some cases of that kind of devotion , at least two involving several years of 24/7 complete personal care. The spouses were scary impressive in their devotion under duress. I am grateful that, thus far, neither myself or my spouse have been thus challenged. I like to think that I would be up for it. You never know until you know. None of the impressive spouses mentioned above thought of themselves as special. Their Loves were in trouble and they reacted. This case is a different sickness, but it still is a couples problem. The question on him is how to best be of positive support. This is more like an addiction problem than having a spouse with a stroke or MS.

Not into the cuckold kink specifically, but a screened stranger is what I originally wanted, too. I thought it would be drama-free and easy to back out of any social fallout from the experience if we didn't like it. Still lean that way and suggest that to others. However, what ended up happening in practice was that she needed a high level of trust to get over the hurdle and do it, and got a "referral" to an old friend's ex-husband. The two of them play together and he'd often fantasized about her when she was babysitting their child. (No age difference, just something she did for them back then.) It worked perfectly. Once she got over the initial nerves and got her top off, she had no qualms sucking his cock, and he was visibly thrilled with the experience. It was just the way I imagined it, and we met them again for hard swap in our hotel room the very next night. A lot of teasing from his ex-wife about finally getting to screw the babysitter. The first time we did work with a stranger, she grabbed him off a beach in Naxos. He struck up a conversation while she was sunbathing topless and I was getting us drinks. I doubt he could believe his luck when we invited him to hang out.

One must give the guy credit for his devotion. She has a mental disease as well. It's not the promiscuous sex itself, but the self-destructive ignoring of the danger.

An excellent, succinct post. You covered it all in four points.

We decided to have a first with friends my wife’s choice. Most will say to stay away from friends because it leads to hard feelings and loss of friendship and to find a stranger. We went the friend way and it has worked out fine for all of us. As a benefit I get to be with my wife’s best friend.

Yeah, instead of thinking that it's a big deal for a woman to let a man put his dick in her bum, it's more amazing that he'd put his precious penis in there. What if she had Mexican for lunch?

OK, I'll bite: How are you finding these men? Are they bringing STI test results? She's never done this before so she obviously doesn't have a network of vetted men. One strange man can quickly turn out to be erratic and dangerous, especially if they've used substances beforehand to get comfortable for something this intense. How are you planning to manage the behavior of 10-15 people of the sort of people who are likely to show up to have explicitly unprotected sex with a stranger? If she's a submissive to you as you're implying, her safety is your ethical responsibility here. How many are you overbooking to deal with flakes? My advice to you would be that if you're both serious, that you go to a club on a theme night oriented toward this type of play. You will find people who are at least somewhat familiar with each other and safe play in a staffed setting. Put aside the creampie thing for now.

Good to know. There are so many stories here about men who enjoy (or want to) watch their partner with another man. Few women are similarly driven to have their partner do likewise, enough to push to set it up. Just me and this crazy bitch. Yeah, I'll admit that in this regard I was crazy as well, but no co-workers.

we are a bi couple and it is a real turn on for her to watch the boys go at it and being a dominate top i have done the guy while she watched and even got involved in our play we have done couples also and love it

No surprise. We have been taking a break from swinging for awhile. We have swinging partners who we regarded as friends, but as time goes on, if we are not going to play, these couples are not interested in us as friends. They say they are, but we get radio silence. I guess it’s to be expected.

My GF has been requested to do pee stuff so often I wouldn't even consider it odd any more. She's fine with doing it. She has also been asked to do food play with piss and cum. Scat has also come up before but she shot that idea down extremely quick. Puke play is another one that comes up a lot in one way or another which she has done. Pretty much any and every bodily fluid you can think of has been requested in one way or another lol