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Most guys who describe their first time sucking a cock say it was when they were teens. I was 21 and had never had any physical contact with a male, or even thought about it. Like most young men I'd been focused on women and sex with them. In the summer of 1975 I was starting my second year in the Marine Corps. I'd turned 21 in June and had immediately learned about picking up horny Navy wives in San Diego bars. Their husbands were off at sea and the ladies were getting their kicks cruising the bars for the Navy and Marines who were not. I had a car and suddenly me and my buds were off to Diego every weekend on pussy call. It was a lot of fun, but after a couple months a chance encounter made it unnecessary to make the 40 minute drive. One morning a work mate pointed out the driver of a semi trailer unloading at the mess hall. "She's got red hair just like you" was his remark. The female Marine driver did have red hair and was fairly lanky as well, and athletic as most Marines were. I took the chance and went over to talk to her and to my surprise she responded. She was even more of a Amazon than most female Marines and oozed confidence enough for three people. I asked for a phone number and ended up with a dinner date that same evening. Her barracks was in the Mainside area of Camp Pendelton and barely a ten minute drive from my barracks. I was a little disappointed when she declined going to town to eat, I was hoping we could get to a bar after dinner. Instead we ate fast food at the main PX and I wondered briefly if this was turning into a bummer evening. However she made it known when we started to eat the next stop would be her barracks room. The woman Marines had modern quarters with two or four person rooms and a connected bath. I'd heard all the stories about what went on in those and her remark in my mind came across as 'your getting laid tonight'. As it was this was correct, but the surprises were not over. When my new best friend opened her door the next surprise was her roomie sitting half naked on her rack (bed to most people). She still had her boots and OD work trousers on but was entirely bare chested with tits jiggling. They were jiggling because she was bobbing her head on the cock of a much more naked Marine. He still had his trousers and boots on, but they were piled around his ankles. Roomie did not miss a beat on the cock as she raised her arm and gave us a finger wave. Red said something to her which I can't remember now 31 years later, and shut the door and started getting her clothes off. I'd done same room sex before in college dorms or San Diego apartments, but those had been dark rooms and blankets over giggling couples. Here a naked male stranger was grunting away in arms reach while Red and I put our bare asses on her rack. I left that night well satisfied and the image of the pair on the next bed watching us as we fucked and later watching them after he got hard again. My next date with Red was a proper dinner date in town, with drinks at a bar after, and then we were off to an apartment party Red had helped organize. She made it known early in our date that night this was a 'hot party' and there would be a lot more than four people having sex in the apartment, and not just in pairs. Suffice to say the evening went well. I got used to the idea of my girl fucking another guy in full view of me and of a woman I'd met just minutes before putting her pussy on my lap to be fucked. After a week and a couple more 'parties' like this I felt like a old hand at it. I also saw a lot of other guy's hard cocks, their cum shot across faces, tits, hands, and asses, and got used to people taking a break and watching other give head and fuck. It took longer to get used to seeing several occasions where guys were sucking or stroking each other. Sometimes as a pair with a woman sucking off another guy and other times just m/m. The women always liked those shows the best and were fairly vocal about it. These 'parties' were nearly all Marines and the woman marines were not shy at all. Visualize a dozen men and women ages 18 through 25 in top condition and naked, all determined to cum several times through the evening. One evening five of us were getting comfortable in the barracks room. The other man and a woman and I were reclining on one bed. We were intending to watch Red and the third female Marine make out and swap head. However the woman lying between me and the other male got fascinated by his hard-on and we all ended up watching him get off and blow his load in her mouth. I was lying just inches away from her ass and could have easily held his hand or pinched his nipples as he got off. At that point came another surprise. The woman between us rolled over to me, pinned my shoulders with her hands, and gave me a hot sticky kiss of fresh cum. Instead of shoving her away I only stiffened up a bit and let her finish the cum swap. Everyone else saw this instantly and made a big joke about 'He loves it' and 'swallow it dude' etc... I did not think it was so bad. It tasted a little like snot but not unpleasant and not as sticky as I'd thought. Eventually the joke faded and we all got to other business, but the girls got the idea the guys should put on a show for them. The other male Marine accepted the idea and to my surprise I liked it. One of the girls helped get him started and stayed by my crotch adding in a few licks know and then. When I came I made sure he knew it was coming, but he did not pull away but took my juice. Seeing my cum oozing across his lips and down my cock was as erotic as seeing it on any woman who'd sucked me off. His suck buddy licked my cock and his lips getting a fair taste herself. After another half hour or so the other guy got hard again from the women stroking it ; ) At that point there was nothing for it but to suck him. Once the trio of Amazons got started on it they wouldn't have anything else. Fact is I consciously wanted to at that point. Since I'd cum in his mouth earlier I subconsciously known I'd not leave the room without having his cock in my mouth. Once I saw his dick grow hard again I'd been comfortable and anticipating sucking him. Again the women helped, one guiding his cock into my mouth and then working to get him off rubbing his ass, sucking his nipples, stroking his balls. When he came I'd forgotten how a guy stiffens up and swells a bit more After he remarked that he'd held back and not shoved into my mouth. The women claimed this was a outrageous double standard. They always got their faces "smashed" they claimed. I ran my tongue around inside my mouth tasting his cum again and thinking how I'd do it the next time.

PRELUDE: If you have read 'A Gift From My Husband', you know that my first swinging experience was WAY beyond what I ever dreamed. Following that incredible beginning, Rick and I found ourselves back to where swingers conventionally begin. For the next couple years, starting slowly, with friends and neighbors, we simply put a toe in the water, followed by a foot, etc. Unaware of it at the beginning of these social relationships, one and then another moved inexorably in the direction of uninhibited group sex. At the same time, Rick and I continued to share and enjoy a number of fantasies in the privacy of our personal playground. One scenario was becoming more and more appealing to me - very simply, watching up close as Rick sucked another man´s cock. Well, so much for what 'I' wanted! Rick would react quite favorably as I described a fantasy scene from beginning to delicious end. Trouble was, in the cold light of day, his macho nature would completely reject my fantasy. Yet I knew from my wifely intuition, given those precious three words time, place and circumstance, that he could not only be coaxed into opening his mouth to that man, but would drain his cock with pleasure and satisfaction. THE PLOT We met Fred and Martha in a very traditional way. Not long after the 'Tomm' experience, Rick took a new position in Northern California. We joined a club so that he could exercise his second passion - golf. Rick and Fred met there, and of course, neither of them had a clue how much they really had in common. After the 3rd or 4th time the four of us were together, we realized that each couple had been fantasizing about the other - the rest is history. Anyway, Martha and I became close, and besides sharing our husbands and each other, we enjoyed sharing our innermost thoughts. So, naturally, Martha was aware of my favorite fantasy regarding Rick. We both clearly understood, however, that it would not happen with Fred. Both of these guys were so machismo that their cocks would have shrunk like a turtle's head in its shell. One thing was obvious - Rick would have to be set-up in some way that he would 'go for it'. In this situation, time and place would be far less significant than 'circumstance'. Now, I would dearly love to claim authorship of the devious plan, but the credit goes to Martha. One day she called me at the office for an 'emergency lunch'. Once together, she laid the skeleton of an idea on me, and by the time we finished massaging it, we both had soggy underpants. What gave birth to her idea was a porn flick Martha and Fred saw a couple nights earlier. Perhaps some of you will recognize it - husband and wife toying with each other in bed. The door bursts open to reveal two men wearing ski masks. One puts a knife to the woman´s throat, insisting she's history unless they both cooperate. Husband is tied to a chair close to the bed. Wife is stretched and tied wrists and ankles to the bed posts. One of the men, with great fan-fair announces to the husband that his beautiful wife is about to be ravished by both of them while hubby is forced to watch. As the first man enters the wife, both she and hubby are seen to be frantically struggling, but, as time goes on, having taken both of these men, she clearly wants more. She is untied, and really gets into it with both of them. The husband is now seen to be turned on by what he is watching, and is wearing his manhood at full mast. This does not go unnoticed by the sex-crazed intruders, and while the wife is anxiously giving head to one of them, the other suggests that his mate dump his load into the husband´s mouth. Up he gets, and as he approaches the husband, his wife is heard to say "Yes, make him suck your big dick - make him drink your cream". At first reluctant, his mouth soon became a willing receptacle, and before long he was draining and swallowing this faceless bull´s gobs of semen. Then the men leave without a word, and the wife impatiently unties the husband whose staff finds its way home almost before they hit the bed. THE END Not the end for Martha's plan! Friends of theirs from a couple years earlier when they lived in So. Calif. announced they would be taking a vacation at a nearby resort in Napa Valley. When Martha watched that part of the movie that showed how the husband became an enthusiastic cock sucker, and she put it together with her friends' love of kinky roll playing, the light bulb went on! If Martha and I could come up with a torrid adaptation of the movie - something that would excite Rick and not scare the shit out of him - not only would Rick and I enjoy a cosmic experience, but the other couple could add an erotic chapter to their life. Martha insisted on arranging every detail. She would call her friends, acquaint them with the plot, and while they were together at the resort, assure that each move would come off exactly as planned. I would not even meet them, not until Rick did, as they came bursting into our bedroom. LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION When I heard from Martha that the big event would be some three weeks hence, I could hardly concentrate on anything else. Think of it - I was to be fucked in front of my husband by a man we didn't even know. And, if all went as planned, I would also watch Rick take this man's manhood in his mouth. It doesn't get any better than that!! I couldn't set Rick up in the same way he did with Tomm. If he didn't have a clue what was happening, it could be disaster. So, at appropriate times, I'd simply let a little something drop, so that by the night before the event, Rick knew that a surprise 'happening' would take place in our bedroom. His part was simply to play along with the rest of us. So far, this was working so well that by Saturday afternoon Rick was like a kid on Christmas Eve. I had no problem coaxing Rick to bed at 7P.M. I removed my clothes and instructed Rick to do the same. I had brought drinks to the bedroom, and we laid in bed giggling and teasing as we waited. At precisely half past 7 the bedroom door swung open, and in less time than it took to say 'who are you - what do you want?', a man and woman wearing ski masks and sweat suits were standing over us. The man said to Rick "Do as you're told and your beautiful wife won't get hurt". As Rick looked over at me, he could see that the woman was holding a knife to my wrist {a butter knife - wanted to be certain Rick was sure this was a game}. The man then moved a chair close to the bed and ordered Rick to sit there. By now, it was clear to Rick that these were strangers. He was definitely a willing participant, especially because the scenario was totally bizarre. Rick allowed his wrists to be duct taped behind his back, as well as his ankles loosely to the chair legs. All during this I was pretending fright, and begging them to leave and not to hurt us. I looked over at Rick and noticed that his cock was hanging limp between his legs; was this to be expected or a bad sign? The man then slowly removed his clothes - sweat shirt followed by tennis shoes - never taking his eyes of my body. His wife moved her masked face close to Rick and said "You're soon going to watch my husband make love to your wife. We have seen her many times, and he's been crazy to fuck her. And he's very, very good. Before he finishes with her she'll be so excited she'll beg for more. She won't even care that you're watching and listening. You'll see! He's going to satisfy her more than you ever could." Then her husband removed his sweat pants, and there was the bulge. I noticed much to my satisfaction that he had a hell of a good looking body - maybe 5'10' 180 pounds, and had considerable body hair. All this time I was laying in a fetal position, moaning an occasional "No, don't, please don't". He slowly pulled his jockey shorts down his thighs and his rigid staff sprung out like a Jack-in-the-box. It was surrounded by an extraordinary mat of black hair that formed an inverted V up to his navel. As he came around the side of the bed, I got my first view of the profile of his cock - about 7" long, a little fatter than average, and accented by a perfectly proportioned head. No question it was as hard as it could get - it pointed upward at a 45 degree angle. Normal size balls hung low and loose, one in front of the other. I was getting so hot I could feel droplets escaping from my tightly clenched thighs. I let him muscle my legs apart, and begged him one last time not to put his dick in me. His wife, who was staring down at my now open cunt said "Honey, how come if you don't want it, your lips are wide open and spilling more juice than your husband has probably ever seen?" I looked again at Rick, and this time I saw that his lovely, familiar cock was sticking straight out. What a relief! He was DEFINITELY into this game. The man had no problem sliding his 7" into my well-lubricated cunt. As he began to rhythmically pump back and forth, I did my best to show that this was a nightmare experience, but soon I couldn't stop myself from joining his melodious rhythm. Damn, this guy was good, and he knew it. He was staring into my face and recognized when I was preparing to explode. He gave me four or five more rapid, deep thrusts, and then moved back to a position where only his head was inside me. He held that position for what seemed to me to be an eternity, just teasing with my impending orgasm. Professional that he was, holding back my explosion as long as he could, he then yelled out, "You're waiting for my cum, baby? TAKE THIS!!". In an instant, he drove his meat up to the hilt, as far as he could. At the same moment that I felt his first hot explosion, my volcano erupted, and for the next 20 seconds the two of us were dancing to music from another world. When I was conscious again of where I was and what was happening, I had to gather my wits, because I had temporarily lost focus on the REAL reason we were here. Time to check out Rick again. It was a beautiful sight. His mouth and eyes were wide open, his hips were grinding, and the tip of his cock had already released droplets. He was muttering deliciously naughty things like, "He just came in your cunt, Nancy, and you loved it". I must digress for a moment to make an important point. Rick and I not only enjoy a variety of carnal pleasures together, but because we are very much in love, there is no room in the equation for jealousy. What pleases me pleases Rick and vice versa. Oh, one more thing - you may wonder what this man´s wife was up to throughout this drama. Well, absolutely NOTHING. She stayed in the background - as invisible as possible. If she had drawn attention to herself, Rick´s mind could have wandered in her direction, and we wanted to make sure he was totally focused on that man and me. As we laid there, I encouraged the man's hands and mouth to wander my breasts. At the same time my fingers were teasing his sinking cock back to life. We moved slowly to the edge of the bed, with my face about even with where Rick was seated. I moved onto my back, and as scripted, the man moved up to straddle me in a sitting position just below my shoulders. In this position, Rick´s eyes were only about two feet from this man´s growing staff. I pulled it down while I raised my head, so I could gently tease him with the tip of my tongue. His entire cock was slippery and shiny - covered by a mixture of my cunt juice and his semen. Rick was going ballistic - GREAT! It was now time to begin Rick´s seduction. I began to talk to Rick: "Isn't this a magnificent cock, Rick? An artist couldn't paint one with a more beautiful shape. Look at the length and thickness. His head is so perfectly formed. Oh, to suck this cock is to be in heaven. Isn't it the most beautiful cock you've ever seen? Rick? RICK??” He sort of whispered "Yes?", and the whole time his eyes were trained on the object in my hand. "Isn't it beautiful, Rick?" Still in a whisper came his response, "Yes". That was what we were waiting to hear!!! My heart was pounding and I somehow got the words out of my mouth, very slowly, very deliberately - "I want you to put this beautiful hard cock in your mouth, Rick". At the same time, the woman removed the tape from Rick´s wrists and ankles. There was a long moment of silence and no one moved. Finally, the man said "Suck this cock that's just fucked your wife". Discovered later,two things went rapidly through Rick´s mind - this is what the set-up is all about, and, I don´t know this man and will probably never meet him. I´m safe. Rick rose from the chair and sat on the edge of the bed without removing his eyes from the man´s pulsating dick. It was quiet, so very quiet. I was so damned turned on my body began flinching like I was having an spastic seizure. The man stood up, moved in front of Rick to within inches of his mouth. Everything now seemed to be moving in slow motion. Rick lifted his hand and held the cock gently in the palm of his hand. Damn, I wish I had a movie of this! Rick opened his mouth, closed his eyes, and moved forward until the cock head was now inside his lips. WHY didn't we think to get this on video? His tongue then began to move slowly in semicircles all around the tender underside of that vibrating cock head. Then, he added a couple inches of shaft into his mouth. At that point, there was no more machismo left in Rick. He couldn't help himself from feeling sexual delight. He began sucking and licking while stroking back and forth on the man´s shaft with his thumb and forefinger wrapped around it. No one said a word - just three pairs of eyes totally mesmerized by the sight in front of them. I felt saliva beginning to run down the sides of my lips, and wondered if the other woman was feeling the same overwhelming pleasure I was. Suddenly, the silence was broken. The man began to gasp and groan, his masked face pointed up toward the ceiling, and his hips began an uncontrollable back and forth movement. Rick now grasped the man's rod with his full hand, and with his mouth now cupped over the cock head, began rapidly jerking the shaft skin back and forth. The man put both hands on the back of Rick's head and blurted out "TAKE IT". An instant later I heard guttural sounds coming from Rick´s mouth as he took the first blast. That was followed by a series of "ahhs" from the man, each of which coincided with another liquid discharge. Rick's mouth began moving all around the cock head, and the man's cum was now clearly visible around Rick's lips and running down his chin. The outside of me was like a statue, but my insides were doing flips. If I had just barely touched my clit, I'm sure I would have cum, but cumming would have been a distraction. What I was watching was unbelievable - my handsome, very macho, straight husband with a stranger's thick white and opaque discharge slopped all over his lower face, still sucking in an effort to take more, even after his benefactor had no more to give. When Rick released that passion weapon, he looked at me with a slight smile, slowly swallowed the warm semen that was still in his mouth, then ran his tongue around his lips and french kissed me, allowing me to share with him the remainder of that man's salty cream. Rick and I collapsed on the bed in our own world, and it was apparent that we both desperately needed relief. We joined our bodies and each had a pair of orgasms within three minutes. We were completely oblivious to anything but each other, and have no idea when that couple left. EPILOGUE Rick had no regrets from that experience, but one. Naturally, Fred and Martha would learn all about it. How would Fred react to Rick now. After their next meeting at the club, Rick came home wearing a big grin. He told me that Fred took him aside, and said "Don´t be embarrassed, Rick. I've done the same thing. It's like the girls often say -- time, place and circumstance". Well, I've enjoyed sharing this beautiful experience with you wives and husbands. Any similar experiences? Are you still in the fantasy stage and can't get him over that hurdle? Questions?

I was in my mid-twenties, I was living with my girlfriend in Singapore at the time. We are both Caucasians and had been living in Singapore for a couple years then. We had a great sex life and were very open with our fantasies and kinky side. She loved sex a lot, and she was equally bi, but she would try to hold back from exploring her sexuality because the social circle of friends and family wouldn't understand or approve of it. But since we were far away from home in a foreign country, I encouraged her to go out and meet other girls. I could see she loved me for that because she was shy and all she needed was the support and approval and perhaps the push from me to make her explore that side of her which she loved but was trying to suppress. A few months after she was going out and putting herself out there, she had a couple experiences with a couple of females and then she met a very attractive younger woman who was a university student. I could feel she fell head over heels for her. They started spending a lot of time together, and my girlfriend was almost like a sugar mummy in this relationship taking her girlfriend to dinners and drinks and even buying her gifts. I was very happy for her. She would tell me all about the hot sex they had but only when I pushed her to tell me about it. It felt to me like she wanted to have that experience for herself only and didn't want to include me in it, she had a very possessive personality. I started to feel a bit left out. They would have very hot and steamy sex in bed while I was sleeping next to them, but never did she offer to include me, I felt she was a bit selfish. She would only want to have sex with each one of us separately so she could enjoy the experience for herself only. Anyhow this was a major turn on for me especially that she broke off that taboo and was acting naturally and openly not being judged, she was very happy, and everything felt great. This was when the idea started coming to me that perhaps I should also explore my bisexual side. It was more the kinky and taboo side of it that turned me on rather than the emotional or romantic side. I don't think I am emotionally attracted to men, it's more the feeling that I am doing something wrong or naughty. We were very open about our sexual fantasies, and we had discussed a lot of kinky scenarios, but I could quickly feel that the idea of me getting involved with another guy was repulsive to her. So I didn't discuss any further with her because I didn't find the support. Although in hindsight if I were more open about it or even more persistent, she would have probably come around the idea. However, I didn't want her ever to hold something against me that she could, later on, use against me which would undermine my macho status in the relationship. The more I tried to not think about this, the more the urge became to explore it until one night I decided to go to a massage parlor with male masseurs. I didn't know what to expect but knowing that I would be completely naked in the presence of another male was already a breakthrough for me as it crossed a taboo. I was laying naked on my stomach on the massage table, and the young masseur was topless wearing tight sports shorts. He was very fit. Quickly I could feel the sexual tension building up, the guy's cock kept brushing against my arm as he was moving around the massage table. Perhaps it was intentional from his side or just happened by accident, but I was getting very much turned on by the whole situation. Things kept heating up as he touched my lower back and slowly made his way to my buttocks, gently massaging my legs and into my inner thighs, and again his pinky would accidentally yet very subtly touch my balls or my cock or close to my anus, and it was hot as fuck. He asked me to turn around on my back, as I was turning around he could see that my erection was in full size, it didn't take very long, but his head dove to my cock and he started sucking me hard. I was in delirium, something I never experienced before. Although I wouldn't consider myself bi at all, I always thought it was the mental fuck about exploring with another guy that turned me on, the taboo, the cheating aspect, etc. But I have to say, the physical aspect was soooo good also. While I was laying on my back, I moved my head forward, took off his shorts, and started sucking him. It all happened very naturally without any exchange of words. His cock tasted so good. I always wondered how my girlfriend felt when sucking my cock and sometimes watching her enjoy it so much made me wonder if it was just acting or whether it was really sexually pleasing for the person giving a BJ. After I sucked the guy's cock, I was so surprised to discover a new form of sexual pleasure that I never knew existed, it was one of those eureka moments. At this stage I was in nirvana, the ecstasy I was in was indescribable. I wanted more. I asked the guy to fuck me, I now wanted to feel his cock inside me. I felt so naughty, and I felt like a slut. I wanted to be abused. He went to get a condom, but it felt like an absolute eternity before he came back. I was so horny and hot, and I was touching myself fantasizing about what just happened, by the time he came back and put the condom on, I was almost ready to explode. He tried to slide his cock inside me but I have not done anything like this before, and my asshole wasn't relaxed enough for him to enter me. So it took a while, and before he could shove his cock inside me, the touch of his dick on my anus made me quiver, and I came so hard, I was exploding of pleasure. The sight of me cumming so hard must have turned him on so much cause he came and started licking the cum off my body. He started to masturbate super hard, and in a short period of time, he came over my body. It was one of the most sexually fulfilling experiences I have ever had. After that I went to quickly have a shower, dressed, paid him, and left. I never told my girlfriend about it because I didn't think she would understand and I was scared it would undermine me in our relationship. I was very macho and dominating, partly because I felt my girlfriend wanted me to play that role. Had she been the strong, assertive woman in our relationship, then I would have probably been more open to her about the whole thing. Overall the experience was one of the best I have had. Although later on I have had one more experience with another guy while my wife was traveling, but I didn't really enjoy it. I think what would really turn me on is a MMF threesome experience. The following years we have had a few more sexual encounters in the swinging scene, we had moved back to Europe then, and we started frequenting one of the nearby swingers clubs. But it felt it was me pushing my partner who had become my wife by then. I knew she loved sex a lot and was open-minded but we also had our own trust issues in the relationship, and we were fighting a lot about it. She confessed to me that while we were doing the long-distance relationship that she slept with several guys and she had couple regular fuck buddies. Part of me was very turned on by the cheating aspect of it, of how forthcoming she was with other men, how hungry for sex she was. The other part of me felt betrayed. I tried to reconcile those two by talking about how kinky it would be for her to be with other guys, almost reconciling my two feelings which I guess would make me a cuckold. But my macho part would never allow it to happen. The fact that she went behind my back to cheat was the bit I could never get over with. I loved her so much, but I couldn't forgive her. Had she come clean herself or had she discussed her desires with me, then I would have been ok about the whole thing perhaps even getting sexual pleasure from it myself. I think she wasn't forthcoming about her feelings or her fantasies and wasn't assertive. I wish she could talk to me in a more dom tone. So the few times we went to a swingers club, my wife was probably feeling a mixture of guilt of her cheating on me, so she wanted to please me by going with me. I assured her that I am over it, that she could turn this cheating aspect of her into something kinky and enjoyable for both of us if only she would be more open and communicated what's on her mind. That she shouldn't suppress her feelings, that I would be supportive etc. But she never really opened up. And that kind of bothered me because I felt I was pushing her to do something, although I knew she would actually very much enjoy it if she just let go, just when she was enjoying discovering her bi side. I was also partly to blame, the one time she was letting go of her inhibitions while we were at a swingers club, one guy was eating her pussy while I was with another girl. Although we never discussed clearly what the rules were or the boundaries, we were just happy to explore and to take it slow and always include each other in whatever swinging activity we got involved in. She whispered in my ear that she wanted to be fucked by the guy who was eating her. That kind of took me by surprise, and I was a bit unprepared. I wasn't at a stage where I was willing to have my wife shared by another guy yet. So I kind of blocked the situation from happening, and the guy shortly left afterward. I could see that my wife was very sexually frustrated but also angry because she felt that I was pushing her out of her comfort zone and when she finally was there, I betrayed her trust by making her feel guilty about the whole thing. After that incident, it felt that she didn't want to explore the Lifestyle anymore and that was very devastating for me because it was by far the most exciting thing that we were doing in our routine daily lives. Things started to fall apart from there, we were fighting more regularly, and my wife was constantly depressed. The situation kept getting worse and worse until we got a divorce in the end. It was devastating for both of us. Our sex life was fantastic, we were very fond of each other, but I think in the end what killed the relationship is the lack of communication.