Leaderboard

In reverse chronological order, on Friday night we tried Le Mask and can not say enough good things about this place. The club did a check out of us at the door but it seemed less hardcore. Men wear a button down and probably a tie, women nice dress and don't forget your heels. The club has two levels and it was a 1920's theme night. We didn't see that listed anywhere we could find but the employees were dressed to period. Once we entered we were greeted by Lucielle or Lucy (sorry didn't quite catch the name). Lucy did a great job of making us instantly feel welcomed and at home, in fact all the employees were outstanding. They seemed genuinely like they were having an enjoyable time interacting with the guests. The club has two levels and we were given a run down of how it works and again you pay as you leave and get a few drinks included with your entry fee. The front door opens into a bar that is just amazing to look at, Le Mask has a great wooden bar, lighting on the bottles that is sharp, and the bartenders were dressed in black with red suspenders. I'm not sure if that was for the theme or every night, but they were excellent! Again, their English was better than our French and they quickly switched once they figured that out. We arrived at 1030pm-1100pm on a Friday night. Lucy told us that there were two shows that night but we didn't ask what they were because we were still gawking at the front bar. We got a few drinks and can't say enough about the bar staff. We did a walk around. On the ground floor with the bar and the door there is a lounge area with seating and couches. The club was populated but sparse at first. We liked this because we could check out the premises without interrupting anyone too much. The bathroom at Le Mask has a stand up shower in it, which is a pretty cool option. I didn't enter it, but the Mrs. did and said the glass blocks allowed a view from the lounge. I'm not sure if it was an obscured view or clear but hey, enjoy the show! There is a divided smoking room upstairs and a candy bar near the main bar. What are the colored candy things? Is it a marsh mellow, is it a skittle, who knows just put it in your mouth. Yup, we were digging this atmosphere. We went down a velvet lined stairway which has sparkly stones in it to the lower level. There's handrails, you do the mental calculus on your balance, blood alcohol level, and the low ceiling there and take your chances! Very chic, with led lighting. Downstairs leads to a dance floor with seating along the edges, a side room with bench seating, and bed like areas divided by a curtain or perhaps a wall. Of the dance floor there was a second lounge room and a back room with two good sized beds. Having seen the layout we went back up stairs for our second drink. After getting our drinks we decided to head back downstairs. It was perhaps 1200-1230am at this time and the club was getting busier. The age range at this was middle aged, but there were younger people there, they seemed to be showing up as it got later. The main lounge was a little to open to the front door and bar area for us. It's hard to explain as you have to walk through a curtain and doorway but the room itself was good sized. To be clear when the door to the establishment is open there is no way to see the lounge but it is one of the things you would probably check out first. We wanted something a little more private. Everyone was well dressed and the vibe was classy and friendly. People smiled and were considerate, we felt very at ease here. There was a little apprehension from the Mrs. as she has never been to a European club and didn't know what to expect. I explained to her that it's more of an implied consent culture. If someone likes your they may put their hand on against your leg or touch your arm. If you don't want them to then indicate you are not interested and you won't have any problems. We went downstairs again through the awesome crystal LED staircase. It's a little off balance and coming up it there's a blue LED light that gets you right in the face. Totally cool stairway. As we walked around the lower level there were people naked in the back room using the beds. We wouldn't have felt awkward using the beds next to them or asking to use the beds with them. We did opt however to go to one of the side rooms with beds that was unoccupied. If you metric is naked people with each other, you will find it at Le Mask. At this point we were both pretty turned on and the Mrs. used an ideally placed velvet bench for a chance to showcase her excellent oral skills on me. While we were both dressed. Game on! We might be American but I am all European when it comes to a more casual attitude about sex. As we were engaged a middle aged French couple entered the room. I'm not sure if the woman was in lingerie or stripped down but the man was in his dress clothes. I was pretty focused on what was going on to me and only got a few glances. The French lady was wearing black under wear with stockings and something slinky and revealing up top. She was talking to her husband for a few minutes. The next time I checked it seemed like she might have been giving him a lap dance or was straddling him, not too sure. Prior to the Mrs. I had never received good oral work by anyone. Maybe it was the luck of the draw but from unenthusiastic to teeth in a bad way receiving a blowjob wasn't an important thing to me. Well, let me tell that changed when I met my wife. And at Le Mask oral was done to completion for the first time, something I had never been able to achieve, that was because of me the Mrs. is outstanding in her skills and enthusiasm. Right off the back there's a series of fantasies and wins. Although we have been to several lifestyle club and resorts we had dipped our toes in the water but remained relatively tame. I also always had an issue that I was conflicted about: when at a club as a man, do you cum or not? It seems more sanitary to control yourself, also the more fresh towels provided the more I feel like it's appropriate. I mean this place was so well decorated, and such a cool spot that I kinda felt bad making a mess. At Caliente, when there play rooms at Club Rouge were open the staff was in every fifteen minutes changing sheets and towels were everywhere. At Desire RM, there were towels provided but they weren't especially big and there were no sheets on the bed, which leads me to a no jizz conclusion. But hey, call me old fashioned. The Mrs. took care of the problem. Now at this point we were dressed mostly and we were turned on and got rid of some of my suit to get me more naked. If I had to do it again I would wear an undershirt that wasn't plain white, it kinda made me feel goofy looking, even though other guys had the same thing. I worse boxer briefs and boxers. They both come off quick and if something happens you have a backup for the uber ride home! I took the Mrs. on to the bed and lifted her skirt up and we started having very hot sex in front of a very nice couple. The Mrs. turned the tables and got on top of me. At this point I know the other couple has looked and heard what we were doing with a front row seat. I like to think we turned them on enough that they started getting busy because of us, The couple slid onto the bed but were next to us. Not in our personal space but next to it. I made sure to pull the Mrs. skirt up so her absolutely beautiful porcelain skin and ass were on full display while riding me. Normally I need 10-20 minutes maybe a few more before being ready to go but I was so turned on, after orgasm one I was still rock hard. The Mrs. really liked this and was on top facing me. My suit was in a pile on the floor and the Mrs. didn't even have time to take her dress off. I made sure the skirt was pulled up so the couple and the few other people checking out that room of the club got a good view because she is super hot! I pulled the Mrs.'s dress down so her tits were out and this is fantasy level stuff for me. It probably a slow Tuesday for most lifestyle people but hey, we're new. While my wife was riding me the French lady placed some hands on my wife. This was well received with them feeling each other's breasts and they were all spectacular. After the initial touching the Mrs. turned back to me. Well, I'm one to improve international relations and fit in with the culture. So I took my wife's hand and placed them on the breasts of this welcoming Parisian. The woman went to touch my wife but didn't want to be to forward. Well, decorum out the window I told the woman "oui, oui!" Touch away! I know if my wife didn't want to be touched she would certainly express it. After some fondling, kissing, and making out the woman went back to her husband as to not leave him out in the cold. After I had orgasm number two I was pretty tapped out. I didn't want to push my wife into anything she wasn't comfortable with and decided to take the win. This was the first time we had another person touch us during sex and I would rather move too slow than too fast. I totally loved that the interaction was natural. A touch, you don't have to speak, you can just go with it! Now keep in mind, it was the woman approaching another woman. The male did not attempt to touch my wife and I found that very respectful and courteous. Not that it would have been a problem if he had. But I liked how people are a little more forward in Europe. After we finished we re-dressed and went upstairs. I needed some water and the Mrs. was up for one last drink. We were told by Lucy the show was starting in the upstairs lounge. I'm not sure if it was someone dancing on a pole or a burlesque type thing. We didn't get a chance to see the show but the lounge was full. Looking for somewhere to sit we went to the smoking room. We don't smoke but it just seemed like a good spot drink some water and regain my senses. The couple from downstairs was dressed and enjoying a cigarette. The Mrs. had one with them out of courtesy but the language barrier stopped the conversation from going further. I have to give a special shout out to the DJ at Le Mask. He was an Asian gentlemen that played awesome music! He had a small set up, as in he didn't have a lot of space to work with. As with all the employees at Le Mask, he looked genuinely happy to be there, and was very outgoing and friendly. The employees set the mood so well. Walking in you feel like you've meet long lost friends. The put effort into making you feel welcome and it pays off! We settled up our bill and caught an uber back to the hotel. The bill was cheaper than Taken but I think we had an extra drink or two at Le Mask. I want to say $120 U.S.D.'s and about $130 U.S.D. at Taken. We felt the value for our money was high. A few things of note: We appreciated the dress code. A lot of negative online reviews are likely from people that were turned away from not following it. Having gone to Secrets and Caliente, sometimes you want something that's more high end than a guy wearing no pants and a T-shirt that says "I shaved my balls for this." The age range was typical for the lifestyle mostly middle aged with some older and some younger. I emailed Les Chandelles, Le Mask, and Taken asking a few questions. Les Chandelles took about 5-6 days to respond, Le Mask responded the same night, and Taken responded at about the 4 day mark. I used SDC as my main research and the clubs own websites. The SDC photos didn't do justice to either club, both clubs looked way better. We made sure to go on nights where there were no single men. I would highly recommend Le Mask, and also recommend Taken. If I had to choose one objectively and independent of any sex acts, Le' Mask easily wins. But remember we did not get to see the play rooms at Taken. If I was going to Le Mask I would ask about theme nights, and what shows they may have as we didn't see that on their website. Totally different vibe from the U.S. clubs we've attended, and we liked it a lot. Any questions feel free to post or private message!

Avoid couples who are narcissists and don't care about you, as a person. They will just use you and dump you when your usefulness is over to them. It's not all about us -couples; our guest male's pleasure is as important as ourselves.

For me Random sex Some bi-sex, fun but not a top priority I had the black man fantasy because of stories and porn. I had an Asian woman fantasy for the same reason. For Michael watching me with man or woman sex with me and another woman. He enjoys watching another man with me more than being involved even though he has been involved many times.

Same. @njbm would you feel a bit different if he was a single male? I think we would be most uncomfortable with the way his wife felt about his affection for your wife. Like @kittyswinger pointed out, it's better for some ppl (my wife included) if there are genuine feelings of affection. I am actually ok with my wife having a deep connection with her lovers that includes affection and emotions. It's just better for her that way. My wife's lover takes her on dates, has taken her to Vegas a few times... I'm not worried that she would want to leave me or anything bc she knows she can have it all and I don't make her choose. But yes it makes things very awkward for that to happen in the context of couples swap.

And then there's the joke told to me by Lora (who's black BTW), "How do you tell which black men have small dicks, without looking?" "They're the ones dating white women."

Replying to this for other people's information. We went out Friday & Saturday night to Le Mask and Taken. We will start with our Saturday night review. For both nights my wife did a last minute dress change to a blue dress that is long sleeved, does very nice on the cleavage, and has a long skirt. It has flowers. It stood out a little bit, and was a little different but it makes the Mrs. look great. We had been informed about the strict dress codes and heel requirements at some of the Parisian clubs. The Mr. was wearing a well fitted blue suit and also looked sharp. The Mr. is also writing this, but objectively, I did look good. The Mrs. wore heels that weren't stiletto's but wider. She also brought a pair of flats in her purse in case the heels became a problem. Figuring since clothes are coming off that a shoe change wasn't going to be that much of a problem once you are in. Our French consists of none and fluent as a kid with almost zero use. I could get by very well at times and often use a poor vocabulary but get the point across in just fine in french. With Google translate as the back up there were no problems. We didn't meet a single rude Parisian on our trip, and usually there English was better than our French. We went to Taken on Saturday night. We can't give this place a proper review nor a serious one. Not because it's bad, but because of our mistake. We arrived at about 1100-1130 pm. It's a great location and if you are going there we strongly recommend hitting the St. Regis restaurant. The food is great and the French Onion soup is out of this world. Good light fare and a block away from Taken. Taken is on a small street and we didn't drive there so can't comment on parking. Outside the door there was a security guard that directed us to ring the door bell. The door looked like a metal 17th century castle door. Like an old speakeasy a slider the size of a 3x5 opened up. This was our initial assessment apparently. The slider slid shut and the door opened and an employee in her 50s or 60s opened the door enough to take a look at us. It was an up and down look. The woman 100% looked at my wife's shoes to make sure she had heels on. It was funny. We got the "ok" and were let in. Although the woman wasn't rude there was no doubt she was a harsh judge and ran that place like clockwork. We both looked good and young for our ages (mid 40s) but aren't in great shape but aren't ugly either. So we looked good and dressed good. The french seem to stay up late, in fact most clubs we saw were open till 4 or 5am. Maybe the bar becomes higher later in the night but in we go. There is a coat check upstairs for purses, coats, and phones. The upstairs area is very chic. You walk downstairs and you are in the main portion of the club. There are stone walls, red carpet, a nice bar with led lighting that is just right. You can tell they put a lot of effort into the atmosphere. A drink or two was included with admission and you pay as you exit. We ordered a few drinks. The club consists of a glass smoking room, which we liked as we didn't have to smell the smoke. A small dance floor, chairs and tables, and a side area that had some more chairs and tables. The bathroom was a once person affair. We returned to the bar and sipped our drinks. There was a candy bar in the bar area. The bar tenders were friendly but between the music and language barrier it was a little tough to communicate. But the bar tenders were prompt and friendly for sure. The crowd was light but it is a fairly small club. As the night progressed we made a couple of notes: - The club became crowded to the point where you couldn't always find a seat. It's not the end of the world but it did feel like there were too many people for the space. It was actually tough to even walk around to see if there was a place to sit. It got to the point there wasn't even standing room. It's not the end of the world but if I could potentially have a hard on I don't want to have to brush up against guys just to move around the space. Your mileage may vary. The age seemed like a good distribution between mid 20's on up to 60's. The women trended a little lower than the male age it seemed on average. Most women were wearing black dresses, one of two were in lingerie with stockings, and the men were all well dressed. The vibe wasn't very friendly but there was nothing rude or wrong about it. It just felt like there was a lot of people standing around trying to look too cool for the room. Not a big deal but for example trying to move past people and giving them an "excusez moi s'il vous plat," didn't always work. Once I ask nicely, you hear me and ignore more, I'm going through and if you brush up against me, buddy that's your problem. I felt like we were missing part of the club, like there had to be some sort of area with beds or a dungeon or something. SO, there was a hallway off the dance floor that we missed. Well, we saw it but it looked like an employee area with a staff member in the suit guarding the entrance. We didn't see anyone go in or out of it and didn't try to check it out. So we missed any play areas and can not in good faith make this a serious or accurate review. By the same token if you've never been there and not obvious that an area is open to you as a patron, it's a little bit of the club's fault too. There were no signage and the area looked closed off. I should mention the staff here has a very no nonsense attitude. We felt like asking what was in the hallway wouldn't have been appreciated. The vibe just wasn't working for us. We ended up conversing with each other and then calling it a night. The space is very well done and I'm sure the vibe changes with the attendee's. We walked upstairs with our drinks, which apparently is forbidden and got yelled at in French by the door lady. We didn't understand but eventually figured it out. No harm, no foul. As we were leaving the club was getting quite crowded and there was a line at the coat check. We saw the door lady eye balling people up and down. You did not get in unless you were following the dress code. We saw the door lady life a portion of a young lady's dress to look at the belt she was wearing. I suspect as the place gets crowded the dress code becomes even more unforgiving. Still feeling like we had to be missing something I checked out the upstairs and did walk into an employees only area. Hey when in Paris, do as the Romans! The cost was about 130 Euro's with a drink or two included. The drinks were good, the DJ music was good, the space was top notch. We would go back but I want to at least see the entire layout.

Not much of a chatter, more of a meeter. SLS and SDC.

Welcome! We're glad you're here So, let's get the blunt part out of the way. Single males in the lifestyle are a dime a dozen. There's scads of them. GOOD single males are a lot less common. So, how do you make yourself a good single male that a couple would want to play with? Here's a few tips: Set up PAID profiles on various swinger sites. Find one or two that are popular in your area (sdc.com and swinglifestyle.com are two of the more often used ones). You can start free and see how many couples are in your area looking for single males, but once you settle on one or two, then pay. If you don't pay, nobody will take you seriously. Don't be short in what you write on your profile. If all you have to say is "I like hot, sexy fun! Let's hook up!" you'll get nothing. You can write well about what you're looking for, what you're hoping for, what you can offer, and why they would want to choose you. Don't be the prototypical stupid male and include dick pics in your profile. Women know you have a dick. Honest! There's manual somewhere that says something about men having a dick. You don't need to prove it by providing a picture of it. If you have professional pictures of you, use them. You can blur out your face for your public images, but being able to see your face is something many couples will want to see. Put those in your private gallery that you share with interested couples. If a couple is communicating with you, don't treat them like a hook up. Treat them like it's a first date, and you're trying to show what a great guy you are. Do not treat either of the people in the couple with disrespect. They are both part of this. If you're straight, you don't have to play with the husband. But, treat the husband with a lack of respect, and you'll get nowhere. The couple may want to know why you want to be in the lifestyle. Some couples, like us, will be looking for telltale signs you are married and cheating. We don't play with cheaters. If you aren't really single, don't bother trying this lifestyle without your spouse. It won't go well for you. There are plenty of good reasons why a man may be single and not actively looking for a long term partner. My wife had two such men as boyfriends for years. Be honest. If you get to the point of possible playing with the couple, make sure you understand their rules well. You don't want to inadvertently cross a line, and end the evening early. Respect their rules. Don't try to gently push the boundaries or anything like that. Stay within the boundaries they set up (if they have them). Understand the husband of the couple isn't being an idiot allowing his wife to get some with another guy. It's not like that at all. Many husbands, myself included, enjoy their wives having all the sex filled fun they can have, and actively enjoy watching their wives have sex with other men. We're not stupid. Treat us like we're idiots and you won't get anywhere. Understand your role; in some ways you are little more than a live sex toy. That's not to demean you. Just understand where you fit in with this. A couple may only want to play with you once, even if you're great. My wife and I choose to keep single guys around if they're great. Some couples don't, because it can lead to emotional complications. Just be clear about your role. That's some good ground to start with. Feel free to ask us more questions! Others will probably chime in with advice here too.

I posted last year about our issue with our first couple but we've recently experienced this again. We met this really nice couple (unmarried but together for a few years) last year at our favorite resort. We became friends and went on a few trips with them, stayed in their home, etc. We had fun! After a couple trips with them we noticed that this couple seemed to have some relationship issues, made clear after our trip to their home. She confided in us that she thought he wasn't satisfied, and he basically said the same about her. After our last trip with them they had some serious communication issues and she ended up feeling upset that he played with me alone (although she played with my hubby alone first and had no problem with that). She never verbalized her displeasure but the tension was very uncomfortable with my hubby and I. We had discussed separate room play before and I was always ok with my guy playing with her alone but apparently they had not had the same discussion. He liked to text me a lot (we were ok with MF texting as we shared our messages with each other) but it started to get romantic. He wanted me to be his "girlfriend", to be his for the weekend and vise versa. We were not on board with this, getting a feeling that he was forming some kind of emotional attachement to me beyond what chemistry we had for playing. We had to stop seeing them because we were not about to get mixed up in that mess again. I think from now on we will stick to happily married couples who share our relationship priorities.

We actually loved this response. My husband and I have had this as a long standing rule. It’s not a trust issue with each other as some may assume because we both have a tremendous amount of trust between us. It’s simply a good way to never have any misunderstandings with anyone. I always communicated with any and all females (Single or wife) we have played with or have an interest in playing with and my husband communicates with any and all men that I have played with or have an interest in playing with. This has worked very well for us for a number of years now.

To take a dissenting opinion, I feel many people go into swinging because they want a warm or intimate gf-like/bf-like experience, compared to paying a sex worker or an escort for sex. As a woman, I appreciate it if my play partner treats me romantically as "gf", instead of a mere a glory hole. If the couple don't show up or won't commit to your next play, that's an indicator the wife felt disrespected by his hubby in your last play. That simple. But I feel she's just jealous that she was not treated the same way by you. Only my opinion, it's just me. :-)

Early on in our journey, we ran into a guy like that. We met, played - had a good time. Second play date, same. Then he dropped the hubby from the group text and began texting exclusively with the wife. Started cute, but in no time it ramped-up to "I want to be with you w/o hubby", etc. We cut off contact. That experience resulted in us creating our first rule - "4-way text only". Later, heard from a friend that is his thing - he has done it over and over. He wants more than the sex - he gets off on taking her from the man. Too bad - he was a good fuck.

We had a husband ask my wife, "Are you my girlfriend?" Since we were all four present at the time, I thought it was a joke. Laura didn't. She told him (leaving no doubt) that she was a wife, which left her no room to be a "girlfriend." I think some men (and women) enter the lifestyle not quite understanding the difference between "making love" and "fucking for fun," so they try to do the only thing that falls within their experience, make love. This was an aspect of swinging that Laura and I discussed in depth with a potential couple before we ever crawled between the sheets. "Sex for fun" was probably the most compelling reason we swung. (Swang?) (Swinged?) We could do it with other people, but our sex acts together always ended up with great emotion involved. With other people we could laugh, joke, and giggle when we came. Your friends seem like decent people. I'd arrange a discussion (not accusative) over dinner.

Be careful when dealing with this. We lost a favorite lover because he saw us as to 'porny' when I requested he slow down on the romance (at my wife's request). Had I been more tactful, I may have avoided chasing him off.

If he acts that way with other women too then I'm not sure it is as much of a concern "romantically". The question really seems to be whether he is just acting like too much of a dick. We've seen couples in the clubs like this. He is hitting on every woman there and she's somewhere hiding in a corner. You never really know the dynamic going on between the two. It's almost like he's using her as a ticket and for whatever reason she goes along. Whatever the dynamic is I doubt it will change. I've had to run guys like this off before. They just move on to the next opportunity.

It may just be a matter of taste, more than being rude or disrespectful. Different people enjoy different things which is fair enough. If your wife is still attracted to him I'd ask him to tone it down, but if it's so bad that your wife doesn't even like him anymore - then what's the point of discussing it? Just maintain the distance, say you're not interested etc.

Okay - I am in the mood to go ahead and post at length... It might be the fact that my other chore tonight is painting... And I am taking a break... It might be because I had some rather deep conversations with fellow Christians today and it was refreshing to be able to talk about something other than my sexual choices... Here's a broad view - simplified - but helpful for those of you who ask "does the Bible have an issue with swinging?" Just so you know, I tend to simplify things. It comes from years of working with youth. You can't get too deep and too "verse-y" or you lose them. And, honestly, that's fine with me. There is no reason to try to impress anyone by getting chapter and verse here. I will if need be... Well - let's look at marriage. It all begins in Genesis... And I do mean ALL: Light, dirt, animals, marriage... It all begins there... God says about Adam and Eve that the two shall become one flesh. Historically, Christianity (and by that I mean most Catholic and Protestant sects - but certainly the largest part of Christian orthodoxy) has interpreted that to mean: SEX! You will marry and you will have sex - and that with one person. So that is it. Let me ask you a question - do you really believe that the picture that God is painting when He says "one flesh" is really sex??? I mean - really? If you are married, you know that marriage is far more than that - it is bills, children, work, play, buying homes, planting bushes, deciding what to watch on TV... For me - sex being the definition of "one flesh" seems to make marriage sort of trivial. I mean - if marriage is a 24 hour day - sex is 1/24th of that... Right? One flesh = sex = a very limited view of marriage... And I don't buy it... After all - the rest of the Old Testament is filled with Godly men - men who God Himself says are after his "own heart" - marrying many wives, having a ton of concubines, sleeping around on a whim and even buying a prostitute from time to time... Could some of this have been sin in God's eyes? Sure... But certainly if it was really an issue, God would have pitched a serious bitch over it, but He was largely silent. Why? Simple... Women were property - men the owners of that property. Did David sin with Bathsheba? Only in the sense that he stole property... Look it up... The idea of not committing adultery was the same idea as not planting different seeds in the same field. You have no idea what sort of crop is going to grow. The woman was the field - the man the farmer - and his seed was the only crop that was allowed to be planted... Keeping the bloodlines pure... Of course, the man was pretty much free to plant that seed where ever he wished. Now - fast forward to the New Testament. Jump right into the book of Galatians. Paul makes a pretty remarkable statement: "There is no more Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female..." In other words - there was a new radical equality now that Jesus had come - the plan of God accomplished - grace delivered - reconciliation given... And why not? The reason God wanted purity in the blood lines was to prove the heritage of Christ. That done - it lost its importance... But more significantly Women were no longer the "field" - men no longer the "farmer". Women had freedom to do with their bodies the same thing that men could do - which was to express themselves sexually. Christianity then - is actually a champion religion of sexual freedom... Now Christianity does frown on sexual immorality - and thank God it does! Sex can destroy lives if not handled correctly. It is a precious gift that we have been given. The marriage bed is not to be defiled - after all the marriage is the very "object lesson" of a healthy spiritual relationship. But the Bible also teaches that the law can be summed up in this: love does no harm. Let's contrast cheating with swinging - always a "hot topic". Swinging is a choice that a couple makes - in agreement. And the best swinging relationships are one that are actually deepened by the experience because of the trust and communication it takes to share your fantasies. Cheating - on the other hand is to lie and hurt those who trust you. So - which is the immorality that God warns against? The one that does no harm - or the one that does? Or is God simply a cosmic buzz kill who simply wants to make our lives dull? I, for one, take Jesus seriously when He says, "I come that you may have life - and have it to the full!" Since I have begun living under that faith, my life has been more rich, more abundant, and honestly that spiritual "grasp" has been stronger. I know that lots of folks will poke holes in what I just wrote... But, like I said, this is a very simple version of what I believe. Not intended to be a complete "theology of swinging" - simply intended to give people a little insight on how someone with an extensive background and a deep love for his faith can come to a place where he sincerely believes that swinging - a shared joy between a deeply in love husband and wife, can be okay. I typically avoid these conversations - or make small observations - because I know that this is something that can cause a lot of needless debate. My only hope is that those who struggle with their faith - and their desire to swing - will not abandon one for the other - but sincerely, prayerfully, faithfully pursue the only things that - in my opinion - really matter: a deep relationship with God and a similarly deep relationship with the one who God made for them. That - in a nutshell - is my belief.