Leaderboard

We think it’s better. The disadvantage is when you’d like to play with others outside the group – you can’t. This is a frustration when you’re out of town, especially on vacation. The big advantages are safety and convenience. We know all of these people well, both by reputation within the group and our own experiences with them. Every member of our group has played alone with at least several other members. Arranging a quick one during the week happens frequently because of trust. My wife can go to another couple’s house when the wife isn’t there and we don’t worry about safety. The other aspect of the set-up of the group and of trust is the ability to go bareback. We started with six couples (including us) who all knew each other, some better than others, from previous swinging encounters. It so happened that we were all together just to swing one weekend and the talk started about making a closed group. A lot of emails went around for two weeks then the same couples got together again to specifically agree on the rules and process. Another, young couple who weren’t previous swingers wanted to join. They spent a fair amount of time socially with people within the group, did some very soft play with various members, fucked just between themselves in front of group members, and we unanimously decided to let them join. They went through the testing process, accepted the rules, and joined us. Their first full-on playing with people in the group was a real party. After they joined us, we now have seven couples, 14 people, in our closed group. Most of the play within the group is less than the full group. During the week it is alone play, threesomes, an occasional full couples swap. Kids and jobs take priority, so we switch off babysitting duties. Daniela will visit her favorite nearby couple for her preferred FFM threesome while I watch the kids, then the other wife and I will get together to play while my wife and her husband take the kids. Other people in the group do likewise. There is another couple nearby with whom we also have impromptu play. Most weekends are multiple couples, but not necessarily the full group. Sometimes two groups will coalesce in separate gatherings at different homes in different areas, but those subgroups aren’t fixed, people decide by their preferred partners, who has the same kinks, and geography. It’s not unknown for spouses to split between two different subgroups. We all get together (maybe minus one couple) about every six weeks. To me it seems that all the homes can accommodate everyone with a little effort. The most distant couples live less than 40 miles apart, most of us are 10 miles or so apart, some less. We are about in the middle and join whichever attracts us at the time. We too have separated on rare occasions. (The emails fly during the week of who will host and who is going where. Choices are made.) Some degree of consolidated babysitting arrangements are the greatest complications, but the kids enjoy getting together and having the parents spend money for them to be treated.

We are not much for chatting! Found most of the people in the past that wanted to chat lots never amounted to anything, but chatting. When it comes to chatting in the lifestyle we keep it to a minimum until pics are exchanged and if interest is there the first meeting. Absolutely zero interest in sexting or flirting on line. Does nothing for us. We are live action people. I spend most of my time online in hobby related sites.

As I scanned this old thread, this made me realize how we in our poly family are fundamentally different from swingers. We became a family unit through accretion of young adults a decade ago, then through having children. During that time, I have come to realize that my husband loves Lora more than me. But that's ok, because he still loves me as much as ever, and I love her too. We are willing to not only remold the concept of sexuality within a committed marriage, but marriage itself.

Doesn’t matter. Mrs. Shy had tubes tied. Pregnancy is not a concern. STIs are. No bareback here. if you harp on it, as if strongly hinting that you are v-safe and don’t think you should wear a condom, we probably won’t meet. we met a couple online. Right out of the gate the guy was like “I’m v-safe and she hates condoms.” We bowed out of the chat quickly and never met. Just our personal experience.

We are the same. It's interesting that the final frontier in swinging isn't French kissing or bareback or anal, it is caring. I have an intense, two-dimensional attachment with one of the women in our group - our fondness for the arts (which has taken us out of town for events) and sex. The way I love her (and my wife and her husband know that I love her) is strictly a two dimensional thing, and that our respective spouses mean much more than that. Our plays and concerts are something our spouses have no interest in, while the sex is something shared. My wife's primary outside love is another couple. Their petite vie is centered on no specific interest other than FFM sex.

When we did this for the first time about 10 years ago it was hit or miss. I remember the first time we went to a hotel in Princeton where we knew plenty of business stayed. It was fun to tease this one middle aged man, but it turned into just that, a tease. I couldn’t convince the one guy I set my sights on. Our second attempt went about the same way. I was asked what I was charging but when I said nothing, only thing my husband wanted to watch. That’s when that went the opposite way we were hoping. That same evening we tried another bar where I met a 20 something young man and struck up a sexual conversation, did he like older women. By his look it didn’t seem he was very experienced even when he said he was with an older “milf”. That’s when his friend showed up, a good looking young man who was at the same business meeting. My conversation with them was much more explicit from what I said to the other men, I told them my husband wanted to watch me f&s. They laughed but I got them to take me to a room. Over the years we have replayed many different scenarios, we found older men, married men less likely to agree but have had some success. Of course there is much less business meeting or trade shows in the last three years so we took to finding mostly younger men at sports bars and sports events. As expected the men are not the same as the men at business meetings. Michael mostly watches at many of these pick-ups but has joined many times.

Same. @njbm would you feel a bit different if he was a single male? I think we would be most uncomfortable with the way his wife felt about his affection for your wife. Like @kittyswinger pointed out, it's better for some ppl (my wife included) if there are genuine feelings of affection. I am actually ok with my wife having a deep connection with her lovers that includes affection and emotions. It's just better for her that way. My wife's lover takes her on dates, has taken her to Vegas a few times... I'm not worried that she would want to leave me or anything bc she knows she can have it all and I don't make her choose. But yes it makes things very awkward for that to happen in the context of couples swap.

Iam in the ministry and this is how I approach the subject. All sin originates within the individual. Hate, murder, envy, lust, adultry, etc. sin is any action or idea that causes intentional malicious harm to self or others. When you practice intentional harm you fall outside the doctrine of Christ which is to loveGod and love others. We do cause harm sometimes intentionally sometimes not hence the reason we need Jesus Christ. He saves us. We do not save ourselves. my wife suffers from chronic pain due to some medical conditions. I witness this daily for years and it is very upsetting to me to watch her suffer. Helpless? Not quite. Sex seems to give the longest lasting pain relief. More so than morphine and other prescription opiates. We been noticing and paying attention for many years. I suggested we try to add a third person to our sex life. Male or female mattered not to me but what she needed to feel better and get some pain relief. We were both apprehensive but battled on through this knowing the end result would be a better quality of life. we had our first meetup and it went most excellent. She was blindfolded lying on the bed prone. Of course I was right there with her. I had the other man come in and strip down and start performing oral on her from behind while she performed oral on me. We then switched positions while I licked her and fingered her from behind while she sucked him. No other man has touched her or has she touched but me for 35+ years. We stood up and she was sandwiched between us I was in front kissing her and caressing while he entered her from behind while she stroked me quite frantically. Only her and I kissed and only I talked. I had this scripted out and we discussed before hand what would take place. This really helped her envision what was to happen and she felt safer knowing. We got back on the bed and he entered her from behind while sher gave me oral again. I her her climb on top of me and asked if she wanted to be double penetrated. This guy had a longer penis but was thinner than mine so we both thought the dp would be more comfortable if he entered her anally. During this the other guy and I had some proximity contact and I lost my erection. She did not care and went back to sucking me off while he penetrated her ass from behind. He was wearing a condom. I had pull out and ejaculate on her ass and pussy. He girt up and watched for awhile while I made her squirt with clitoral stimulation while she sucked me off. He left quietly. We hooped in the shower and sher sucked me off again. the pain relief lasted several hours well into the next day. This super charged our sex life like we in our teens again for several weeks. We in our 50s. I thought it was super sexy but my only goal was to improve her life and it worked. It also has seemed to draw us closer and to more openly. We are discussing are next adult adventure. God is good.

Not much of a chatter, more of a meeter. SLS and SDC.

Maybe.

Time to turn fantasies into reality. Ask your wife which other two men she wants to have sex with, and it shouldn't be difficult. Enjoy the adventure.

This is one reason why we always try to meet the other couple sooner rather than later. Why waste a bunch of time emailing/texting/communicating with someone only to find out that they are not real/fakes/flakes. Even if they do show, if there's no 'spark' we're not going to be playing anyways. It's best to find out quickly and either move forward from there or move on.

I think meant to be a more polite code for "not trashy", since some people are looking for that scene. I think it's not so much about money or importance as it's supposed to imply proper grooming, a clean living environment, not dropping foul language at dinner, etc., traits that you'd expect from someone able to hold down a professional job. Sure, mildly snobby/classist, but intended to signal to some people not to waste their time. I can see where that leaves a lot of groomed, clean "non-professional" people in the middle going "WTF", though.

It may just be a matter of taste, more than being rude or disrespectful. Different people enjoy different things which is fair enough. If your wife is still attracted to him I'd ask him to tone it down, but if it's so bad that your wife doesn't even like him anymore - then what's the point of discussing it? Just maintain the distance, say you're not interested etc.

Nope... Oxymoron - A rhetorical figure in which incongruous or contradictory terms are combined, as in a deafening silence and a mournful optimist. I figured an understanding of the word "oxymoron" would help you better identify them... Since the New Testament raises women above the law's treatment of women being possessions and gives them the same status/freedoms as men... and men through out the Old Testament (and in the New) were pretty much running around doing whatever they wanted with whoever they wanted... And those same men were never really chastised by God for the act of sex, whether within the bonds of marriage or not... In fact, some of these guys were God's examples of living a deeply spiritual life... It is really hard to see how swinging is ever spoken against. Jealousy, deception, hurting others... Those things are talked about at length... Swinging? Not mentioned once... Swinging and Christianity are not contradictory - but don't expect to be asked to teach Sunday school...

Here's a few active topics on the subject: Swinging and Christianity Sex and religion Getting over past morality issues Liberated Christians website