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Context matters. In marriage, foreplay is 24 x 7. Period. It might be a hug, or unloading the dishwasher. It might be giving the other person time and space to reflect or recharge. But it's always about communicating to the other person how special they are, how desirable they are...and especially when they don't feel as special or as desirable as they surely are. In the LS, it's also about communicating to the other person that you find them special and desirable ... and ... exploring our/their individual boundaries and sensual frontiers. We would add that it's also about *your* comfort zone. We put a premium on flirting and seduction, all of which falls into the general category of "foreplay".

We just returned from a very interesting vacation with the first friends we met after moving to a new city. They asked us if we would be interested in joining them with three others in sharing an AirBnB in Florida. The house was near a beach, something we love, and had its own pool, a truly luxury house. They only knew one of the couples who knew the others we were sharing the home with. Big surprise, one of the couples at the house were two women who are married, a lesbian couple. At first I didn’t know why they were joining a group like ours or did they not know. I questioned one of the other men what their story was and I was assured they were married and knew exactly what the others were there for and it wasn’t only for the beach and sun. I always thought lesbians are turned off by men, possibly revolted by the thought of being with a man then I was enlightened. I didn’t realize most lesbians had sex with men at some time in their life and a percentage continue to enjoy men sexually. Of course women use phallic toys if not an actual man in sexual play. These two women fell in love and married just as heterosexuals do, and are not completely monogamous just like those of us posting.

We have both "Why *they* said no", as well as "Why *we* said no" stories: After seeing our face photos, the other woman quickly 'noped' on us because Mr Bluebird -- apparently -- looked exactly like the other woman's brother. Mr Bluebird wasn't actually her brother, but she said the resemblance was too great to overlook. The situation where We said 'no': We met up with -- unbeknownst to us, as we hadn't met them before -- the parents of our Daughter's Significant Other: We were going to meet them the following weekend for the first time when we helped our kids move-in together. This wouldn't have been a problem, but we had never met them before, and while we were having an introductory chat over drinks, they let us know that they were quite "Open" about their involvement in the LS: Their friends, family, and even kids knew they were swingers. And if their kids knew, that meant our daughter's SO knew. And -- by virtue of their relationship -- our own daughter would know about their activities. And that was just *too close* for us to consider playing with them -- We're not 'out', and wanted to remain that way.

We have married lesbian friends one of which I dated before they married. Her wife also dated guys before they became a couple. I was not totally surprised that they became a couple, more surprised when they married, it made me wonder what I did that pushed her that way. Good news they both enjoy men for sex and happy that the friend I dated still enjoys me to please her the way only a real penis can do. Who is luckier, I have a wife and our two friends. Marriage is about love, sex is about sex. My thought they have a love connection yet are bi.

I was neither curious or bi when the wife of the man I just spent a night with, my first time with another man, kissed me, touched me and went further. All these years later I wonder how I let things continue the way they did. I had no desire to have sex with a woman then let her do things to me the way I wouldn’t do to her. It is still not my thing yet am more open to it.

A tip we were given years ago, there is nothing wrong if you meet those you know in a swinging situation, they are no different than you. You are both open and they want their privacy as you want yours. Life is short, meet them if you are interested.

When I was in college I had bi friends and knew lesbians. The lesbians had male friends but as far as I know they had no interest in sex with the guys. I went “straight” when I met Alan and remained monogamous for years and then one day I agreed to allow him to watch me and another woman. We found many woman suppressed a curious side, some their desires and some for their husbands. Most of those we met were hesitant to explore on their own which why we tried to make it fun.

Trying to give thought to this, two people in love marry whether in the traditional heterosexual sense or in the very now excepted same sex way. A homosexual, male or female, finds an attraction to one sex for a loving relationship and does not preclude getting pleasure from the other sex. The difference between be bisexual and being homosexual and being able to have sex with the other sex is interesting. Unlike Ms. McCray it doesn’t sound that these women have “gone straight”, they are just enjoying a freedom to be sexual.

We are both hooked on foreplay. Our current male playmate luckily also feels the same way. Over the years it seems that if you go staight from Hello to lets F-ck the evening usually ends too soon and no where near as much fun. good42

To us, foreplay is sex as much as intercourse. We can't imagine just "f-ing" without also kissing, touching, oral, and everything that makes sex great. We do it all. We don't even think of it as "foreplay", because all of these things occur throughout a sexual experience with somebody else, are interchangable with intercourse, and we could even finish with "fore"play. Our preference is for longer, more sensual experiences. We also like group sex with another couple, all kinds of interactions going on (not just M/F M/F). People who just want to get in a room and bang for an orgasm, as little foreplay as possible, aren't our type. The only thing I can think of that differs with swing partners, is that we use condoms with them for intercourse. Also, we don't want other men to cum in my mouth. This is for safety concerns.

My strangest reason would also be a lesson learned. I had met with a single guy after meeting on an online site and corresponding through chat/email. He seemed nice enough and we eventually met for coffee to see if we had a physical interest. During the course of our conversation he mentioned the lack of security on most ad sites, how easy it was to hack and download pics. I got the impression that he was looking to tell me something so I let him continue despite the fact that I know very little about computers. He continued on with "I hope you won't be mad...", he had downloaded my pics from our profile onto his hard drive. I was quite furious even after he attempted to reasure me that he had no intention of doing anything with them, was just testing that site's security. Needless to say that was as good of a reason as any and I modified all our uploaded pics in the event of future theft. Annette