Leaderboard

This was, in fact, our approach. It started around the time she was born. There are three things that have to have a consistent approach as kids are growing up, because they will instantly detect any inconsistency: drugs, alcohol, and nudity/sex/body things. We decided early on with our (one and only) daughter that the rules would play out as follows. 1. Drugs. No. Owing to our professions and various drug testing things, street drugs (including marijuana) were simply an absolute no. House rules. 2. Alcohol. One of our grandparents was a wine importer, and thus wine on the table was the norm from an early age. The statute of limitations has passed, but out approach was to put an age-appropriate size container at her place at the table beginning at a very early age. Age-appropriate = literally a thimble to start. By the time she left for college, she has a small glass. This led to three behaviors. First, she never drank to excess. Second, she refused to drink the swill served at college parties. She much preferred the role of designated driver. Third, as a mature adult, she knows what she likes and insists on quality over quantity. 3. Nudity/sex etc. a. From the outset, we had a house acceptance of casual nudity. Doors were left open, with the exception of when mom and dad had "private time", and a closed door was always to be respected unless there was an authentic emergency (like the house was on fire). Kids being natural nudists, this worked fine through the first decade of life, at which point the usual teen modesty with body changes showed up. b. There was always age-appropriate information. She was a voracious reader, and sex ed books were always around the house, given as gifts etc. c. We gave her a gift certificate (this was the time before "gift cards") to goodvibes.com when she was 13 or 14 so she could pick out her first vibrator and lube and have it delivered to her with the usual discreet packaging. Every so often, we would add to her account with another certificate. She had a collection before she left for college. d. When it came time for sex, we told her that we *preferred* that it be under our roof where she would be in control. We had her space "downstairs", mom and dad spent their time upstairs, and she periodically brought home this or that boy or girl (she experimented with both), all in some level of disbelief that it was "okay with her parents". Our reasoning was that if things got out of hand, a scream would indeed bring us running. And, unsurprisingly, she was consistently treated with respect. Along the way, everyone learned the process of consent. So, in answer to your question, this was exactly our preferred approach and reflected a consistent position on safety and sex-positivity throughout her life. There is an interesting coda to all of this. When she found her husband-to-be and he started coming over for family dinner, he knew that she was raised in a sex-positive environment but was still taken aback when the dinner table conversation would shift from the new series on Amazon Prime to whether that new lube was worth the money to the price of gasoline and so on. They are recently married, and both of them continue to observe that among the collection of their parents and their friends parents, we are the only couple still married (to each other) , still in love, and still (her words) "fucking our brains out". She (and thus he) knows about our "special friends", that we go on LS cruises and so on. Neither has the slightest interest in the LS at this point. That said, it's pretty clear which parents they want to model themselves after.

When she was single, my now wife Daniela preferred and had (the best word is) "relationships" with many married men, often more than one at a time. She preferred married guys for a number of reasons: there were limits to the relationship (none of them wanted to leave their wife, regardless of what was said in the moment), they were particularly grateful, that they were fucking another woman - their wife - and Daniela would get them to talk about it and always arranged for him to "accidently" meet the wife (something of a kink of Daniela's), and there was no expectation that he would buy her anything, she hated that aspect of regular dating. When I first met Daniela we went out, then started having sex, we openly talked about our past. I got to the point quickly where I told her that I didn't need for her to be monogamous, but please no married men. She explained that she never broke up a marriage, she helped repair them and keep them together. She liked being the secret third in a marriage, the other woman, who tried to make him a better husband and provided him what was missing. Many gifts were bought, vacations taken, dinners enjoyed, but not with Daniela, with his wife. Daniela even bought and paid for gifts for the guy's wives for him to give her. Then Daniela wanted to hear all about it, how the relationship was going, including the sex. Meanwhile, Daniela gave him what he lacked, whether it was sex when there was little or none, to specific things that his wife just wouldn't do - ride him cowgirl, anal, blowjobs to completion, dirty talk. That's why my wife is so happy where we ended up in the lifestyle. After her hotwifing at first to get comfortable that marriage doesn't mean monogamy, then MFMs with me, we started to swing, but settled into swapping within a closed group of married couples. Now she can openly fuck a married guy in our group and talk directly with his wife, even play with her. (I've left out the bi aspect of my wife's past and current sex life, that's a whole other story.) Plus in her mind, Daniela gets to mind play with the fact that she is a married woman with other men in her life, and I am her husband with other women in my life. The whole purpose of this post is that I have come to understand, there are reasons that a woman wants to play, have a relationship with a married man, be his sidepiece. And it isn't necessarily wrong. Of all the married guys that Daniela had relationships with when she was single, only one wife suspected. She confronted Daniela at one of the arranged, "accidental" meetups. Daniela admitted to it, and wife told her that she must have a "golden pussy", then asked her to meet up for dinner. The wife never confronted the husband, the relationship continued for a while, then ended. But Daniela and the wife kept in pleasant contact for a while thereafter. The couple is still together. Strange. Daniela doesn't read much here on the Swingerboard, but she helped me with this post.

Not every man on AM is a cheater, a few have the blessing of an understanding wife with a mutual understanding of an open marriage.

We posted that I listed a profile on Ashley Madison a few weeks with a few on here posting I should stay away from cheaters. My profile was approved by Michael where he has full access to all communication between me and any man who reaches out to me. A married man contacted with a profile that was shocking if it’s true, we think it is. The man is married 25 years and claims he never sees his wife naked, has never had any sex other than missionary, and has 4 children. The only naked women he saw was In pornography he watches alone. Sex is always in the dark with no reactions from his wife and happens every week but not the one week she has her period. He is a fit good looking man that given the chance could have been with many women in his life. I suggested he meet an escort, younger than me and better looking to which he said he wants a real woman, which made Mike and me laugh. I told him my real story, married and my husband likes to watch, almost scared him away. He was shocked that my husband knows about my profile and approves. We are looking for the best time for him to meet me alone and a place nobody will recognize him. I’m calling him my virgin cheater, it could be fun or a real dud.

Teens are wired to explore. The idea of "putting a lock" on any exploration is just than, an idea. We said "no" to drugs in our home. That didn't stop our daughter from trying marijuana. As for putting a lock on exploring sexuality, the best you might do is delay. The question is, how much of a delay makes sense? Giving time to reflect on the impacts and risks (STIs, pregnancy, breach of confidence) of intimacy makes all the sense in the world; "not while you live in this home!" is a strategy that is likely to fail and certain to harm things like trust.

I was raised in a home that what I now know was a not the way most of my childhood friends had. Not as open as Fundamental Law we had open doors in my early years. I can’t pinpoint the year when I realized what the closed door or sounds coming from my parents room meant, most likely 12. My parents weren’t druggies, but I have those early memories of pot with their friends, as well as me having an early sip of my dad’s beer. I have an older by two years sister that I remember as she started to get boobs starting closing doors. Funny that I remember a good friend asked me if I ever saw my sister nude and me just saying it’s my sister not some hot chick. Never discussed the time I came home from an early dismissal day at school to find my then 15 year old sister nude in bed with her boyfriend. She yelled at me like it was my fault but I never said anything to my parents. It was not much later that I found out my mom got her birth control. It wasn’t discussed at the family dinner, just my snooping confirmed. Also confirmed a toy I at the time had no idea what it was. My own sexual awakening happened at 15 in a classmates house when she invited me to help with homework. Now that we are adults we will have to deal how our children will deal with sex education and the time when they will become sexual, I think I will be open to discussion but will probably put a lock on our daughter. I most likely never have sex with a teenager again even if 18 is considered legal in most states, we will stick to no lower than 20s.

The screams may be orgasms. Don’t bust in then.

Why not look for more? What guy doesn’t want some new pussy? Most of my friends will not turn down a blowjob married or single. Tricia if you want a cock just go for it if he wants it. It’s not your business why he wants it. The morality question is a joke one you fuck others. You live in your head not others made up standards.

I will be meeting him later today in a hotel, about an hour away. Michael wants to meet him before we go to a room for safety reasons, not to join us. Michael thinks I’m going to be disappointed, I’m more optimistic and excited. I’m sure I will hear more about his wife and his life. I don’t judge others when it comes to sex or how others live their lives. I have read much on morality and how it plays a role in swinging, we don’t push our morals on others. The vast majority of the population would say Swinging is immoral. There are those on here who say swinging should only be done as a couple, something I would have agreed with years ago, we’ve changed our feelings. Most morality is based on religion, deep rooted or superficially. Monogamy has never been a must if you read the history of man. Most characters in history have had sex out of marriage. If you deep dive into the lives of men in “the Bible”, Abraham was told by his wife Sarah, who couldn’t have children to have a child with her slave. There are many other stories of other men having several wives. Back to my “cheater”, should he divorce his sexless wife? Marriage is much more than sex. I know nothing about him or his marriage or family or why he finds looking for sex from someone, me, a better option to divorce. Sex is physical pleasure, not love or a more meaningful reason to stay together. In our brief messaging he never said anything negative about his family life except his curiosity to what he knows other men and women do.

Per my wife, this is very common for the men on AM. I just figured that most men were common cheaters looking for some free strange from unsatisfied women or in our case women looking for revenge sex. The scenario the OP put out there is common, no sex at all for some men. She no longer hides her meetings from me, telling all about the men. She has been a first blowjob for many many men, men who have no idea what a clitoris is, and men who just complain how sex is boring.

It would be our suspicion that you will have no issues with attracting men (or women for that matter). Pregnant women are the embodiment of creation and exude sexuality. Welcome to the swingersboard and best wishes to the three of you!

What's your lower limit?

To be honest, our first MFM wasn't great. It wasn't bad mind you, but it wasn't great. It was good to break the ice of swinging, and start to figure things out for us. But, it wasn't great. My wife and I had agreed before we dipped our toes in the pool that we would keep at it for a bit, and not base our opinion of swinging on one or a handful of times. We understood that just like vanilla dating, there was going to be a few duds along the way. We might get lucky the first couple of times, and we might not. We connected through SLS, and met up at a swinger club in the region. The second time was with the same guy. I honestly can't remember the details. Again, it was ok but not great. If we'd based our opinions on those two MFMs, there's a fair chance we would be monogamous today. I think we would have concluded, "Fun, but not really our cup of tea" and moved on. Now the third time.... We met this guy for dinner, and we all really clicked. I'm a veteran, and this guy was still on active duty. My wife has a bit of a thing with guys in uniform. My wife and I have a non-verbal means of communicating when we're deciding on whether to play with someone. Along the way, one of us will squeeze the thigh of the other. The other will squeeze back; one squeeze is yes, two is no. After a while, I squeeze my wife's thigh. I immediately got a very enthusiastic squeeze back, and knew she was really into him as I suspected. We went back to his hotel room, and things got busy pretty quick. I think my wife was naked in about 5.3 seconds, and us two guys rapidly followed. We spent quite a long time having sex. Primarily, it was the other guy having sex with my wife. I was very happy with that, as my thoughts were that I could have sex with her any other time, but she couldn't have sex with him any time. My wife had an absolute blast. She could not get enough sex from this guy. She loved it all, made absolutely delicious noises while he was fucking her, and probably came a half dozen times. It was toe curling sex for her. One of my favorite memories from that was her on her hands and knees, he was fucking her from behind, and she was giving me head. The combined motion of her being moved by him vigorously fucking her and her moans of ecstasy while I was in her mouth were absolutely delightful. After we left, and got in the car, my wife said with a huge grin on her face "Ok, now I'm a swinger!" A few days later, she got to have a solo date with him, and once again had an absolute blast. During that solo date, he told my wife that he hadn't been able to cum from oral sex alone in many, many years. My wife took that as a challenge. She is quite talented at giving oral sex, and ...challenge completed It's 14 years on now, and we continue to play. It's not as often as it used to be, but we still very much enjoy it. The journey continues.

Absolutely right, Petra. Nothing promotes clarity of mind better than a good fuck!

Let me say first off that *I* first started letting guys fuck me when i was 14...but they were other 14 and 15 yr olds. At that age I never 'dated' [meaning either fucking or just hanging out with] anybody who was anywhere close to 'legal age'.....we were just geeky dweeb kids getting naked with my friends after school. And I can tell you for a fact that i went from 'letting boys fuck me' to ME fucking THEM pretty quickly...I actively sought out sex and I knew exactly what i was doing, so I don't see how that was rape on the guy's part. Now let me ask....did those 8 and 9 grade boys 'rape' me any less than a 30 year old just because they were also underage? I can't see how the age of the guy would have changed my level of consent. All that being said...sexual predators are definitely scary and much more common than I ever knew about growing up. I will definitely whip out mom's 'hell no' card if my teenage daughter ever tries to leave the house alone with a 30 yr old man, no matter if she felt romantically towards him or not. I understand that an adult can influence and manipulate a youngster in ways some kid she knows from study hall probably wouldn't be able to. [tho I am not sure there's always that much difference when it comes to physically overpowering a girl...but I guess that's not what were talking about here.] I've had some long talks to my daughter about being in control of her sexual experiences and I hope our family has taught her by word and example what sort of places not to go and what behaviors she shouldn't find acceptable from a man [pushing her to do something she doesn't want to do may or may not make a guy a rapist, but it certainly makes him an asshole]. She is 16 now and so far has not had intercourse yet which I must say i prefer as a mom, but I can see shes already eager for expressing her sexuality in other ways [both masturbating in private and how she likes to dress, walk, make jokes in public], so I expect she will move on to having sex before too long....and if it is before she's 18 that won't bother me, it is not a magic number. We also have a college-age son and I know he had sex with a girl [woman] who was 5 or 6 years older when he was underage....17, possibly even 16, I'm not sure. Should that woman go to jail, or was there something horrible about that? Let's just say that I knew her pretty well, I knew him even better, and I didn't lose a lot of sleep worrying about what that 'adult' was doing to my 'child'. [rereading this, maybe I sound too cavalier about it. I don't mean to, it is a serious thing. I just know what I was like as a teen and I think 'nobody have sex until your a legal adult' is really unrealistic advice.]