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Yep, when we started in the lifestyle it was by hotwifing. I knew my wife enjoyed having multiple partners and sexual variety when she was single, so although she expected to be monogamous with me, I figured she would enjoy having outside sex partners after we got married. I was right. She enjoyed it immensely and it took our sex life and our relationship in general from really good to great. She is still noticeably happy and grateful after a session with another man/woman/couple. We now swap within a closed group, but after one or both of us play we are both, as you say, "incredibly horny" for each other. Reclaiming sex is a real, loving, and wonderful thing.

I agree with all that you have said with one minor exception. Many times in the beginning and even now sometimes, it doesn't turn me on to watch Daniela fucking another man (it has never turned me off), it just makes me happy to see how much she is enjoying herself. Part of concentrating on my spouse instead of myself. When they are both really enjoying themselves it also makes me proud that she's my wife, that the other guy know what I have. There is so much to think about. Things pop into my head even days later.

I have to say I like porn, but anyway wouldn't mix it with swinging, at least not right in THAT moment nor right before that. Unless being a product well devised for this sort of scenarios (which could exist but I didn't saw anything like this, except perhaps with true amateur home made movies, and perhaps European movies made in the 70's that are pretty much amateur like), today porn is grounded on models, both for the physical aspect the actors/actresses have, and for the activities they engage into, at last, they follow the lead of what society (most males) likes to watch and avoid what they dislike to watch (e.g. wearing condoms) and end up imposing a view of the sexuality that doesn't have to do with the real sexuality. This may trigger anxiety on the attendants to the meeting, beyond the proposed turn on: from competitive feelings to a reminder of insecurities (for example, about your body, not being the TV model, performance issues, and so). Even when not enough to ruin the night, this anxiety may make the experience less enjoyable to someone, and precisely because of the fear to admit insecurities (moreover if they doesn't know the other people involved), they may prefer not to tell and let the movie roll. So, unless all the attendant knows well enough each other as to ensure they can deal with this eventual issues, I believe it's a bad idea. Or at least, something to think about when choosing to watch porn.

Music. Definitely. I sometimes find even silence distracting, but music is really nice to have in the background. No heavy metal or rock; just ambient sounds. Enigma is good humpin' music.

Well I don't know about in other relationships, but I know in mine race does not matter. As a matter of fact, my wife would like to get a black man in bed just to say she did. And I personally think it would be interesting to screw a woman from every ethnicity

I'm a widower who started in the lifestyle w/late wife almost 14 years ago and thought I'd add my two cents... I think racism is still alive and well within the lifestyle, although I think most of it has a male/male focus.....don't think your wife will run into any problems, as those who feel that way are usually up front about it. I've gotten into some insightful conversations around the fact that I've 'conditioned' myself to introduce myself as a Black man in order to put it on the table early...worst experience was when I called an 'adult' motel in TN (we were on the road, saw an ad and feeling risque), told them we were Black...when I walked into the lobby, the three naked folks in the hot tub (2f, 1m)started bitching about "no N*****s allowed and shooting any that tried"...the irony... considering their obesity, they did me/us a favor.

We are an interracial couple--wife is Asian, husband is white. We have never encountered any prejudice, if that's what you mean. In five years in the lifestyle we have never seen race be an issue except in a positive way (i.e. some people tend to be attracted to races different from their own). It's certainly true that the population of swingers tends to be overwhelmingly white, more so than the national population. Nevertheless, we have never known race to be an issue. Swingers seem to have other things on their minds... Good luck to you and your wife.