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First, welcome to the board. You'll get all sorts of feedback here. You have already done one important thing, and that is to keep the lines of communication wide open. There are several prompts that might be worth both of you taking the time to reflect and discuss. 1. What foundational values do we share? What is the basis for our relationship? 2. Do we think our relationship is strong and getting stronger because we can talk about these issues? Or so we think our relationship is getting weaker, and these discussions are a symptom of uncertainty or fear? 3. Where, precisely, does intimacy fit into our relationship? 4. How do we conceive of monogamy? Is it a fence that keeps others out? A fence that holds us together? How would we conceive of a gap in that fence? A breach, a gate, a portal to an unknown?

Most of the time when we play we are just off with a different partner having sex, making love, having fun. But there are times when Daniela or I or both of us are having sexual intercourse with someone else, but stare at each other lovingly. Yeah, sometimes watching her suck a dick is exciting, or watching his dick going in and out of her pussy and ejaculating in her is hot. But looking at her face, into her eyes with her looking back at me with a spaced-out look is beyond special. She's working towards an orgasm with him, I'm good with it, and she loves me.

I am looking for some advice and conservation from a third party. I have recently found myself interested in swinging when my boyfriend stated that he would like to hook up with someone else. Devastated after hearing the statement, I put my feelings aside and really tried to open up. We have been together for 5 years and he’s been honest about how open he was in the past about sex but it’s been harder to talk about our own sex life. Since I am not as experienced there is some insecurity on both ends. Sex has always been great but has become redundant and fuzzy hand cuffs don’t arousal thanks to the desensitization of porn. He is more open than I am and loves to talk about how he feels, no matter the subject. We talked about how he views having sex as just for fun and having a sexual attraction to another person different than wanting to make a life with someone. With him being so open and honest he has helped me open up but I am still more reserved. I want to venture out but I am still insecure, I still like to have an emotional connection, so I ask myself if I’ll be able to handle it. We are having the conversation and he is being so patient, understanding and not pushy at all. A part of me wants to give him this lifestyle, a part of me wants to venture out as well and a part of me is very doubtful and insecure. Thanks for any advice.

It is wonderful that he is being so patient. A common saying you'll see around here; when a couple is getting into swinging they should move at the pace of the slower of the two. Your boyfriend is doing exactly this. Another good sign; he is being patient and not pushy. Nobody, man or woman, should feel pressured into doing this. You should want to do it because you want to do it. It's great that he enjoys talking about how he feels. It is rather too common for men to not do this. He is right; sex can be just for fun, and not be something you're doing as part of a relationship intended to be for life. My own observations are that this is something women have a harder time separating. That's not a bad thing. I think for women it's a different experience; when you have sex you are physically bringing someone into your body. It's not that way for men. I understand your desire to have an emotional connection with the person you are having sex with. Consider though; every time you have sex with your boyfriend, is it always making love? Is it sometimes just that you, he, or both are horny and feel the need to release? If it is sometimes not exactly making love, that's what swinging sex tends to be like. Like, "wow this feels really good and it's fun!" rather than "wow I love this man so much and I sooo happy he's inside me!" It's a different sort of experience. Swinging sex doesn't have to be empty, devoid of feeling or meaning. It is fun. It's getting to enjoy another man, without having the ramifications of wondering "Am I having sex with the right man? Is he going to respect me? Is he going to really love me?". Swinging sex can be a bit freeing of the normal trappings of relationships, and can really drive you to a high level of sexual encounter precisely because it's not encumbered with all the trappings of a relationship. When my wife and I first got into swinging, she had butterflies the first several times. She too was nervous, and maybe a bit insecure. It took a bit for her to feel more at ease, more like it was a natural and normal thing to be doing. The third time was the charm for her. The guy in question was wonderful for her, and she had toe curling sex with him. She. Just. Couldn't. Get. Enough. After that, she said "Ok, now I'm a swinger!". Feeling insecure is normal. People aren't raised to think in terms of non-monogamy. You're not "programmed", so to speak, to understand how to be in a non-monogamous relationship. This is something very new, and very much different than what you likely always thought of a relationship. That doesn't make it wrong. Your boyfriend very likely isn't going to think less of you for having sex with another man. In fact, it's very likely that it will heavily invigorate your sexual relationship. Though, that should NOT be a reason to do it! Your boyfriend will very likely think of you in an even higher way than before. Like "Wow! She had sex with that man and loved it! What an incredibly sex woman! And she wants to be with me!" I know for my part, I very much enjoy my wife having sex with other man. I've never figured out why, and gave up trying a long time ago :) I just love it and her, all the more. Keep talking with your boyfriend. Fundamental Law raised some very interesting and provocative talking points. Opening up to each other so deeply can be a bit scary. But, trust each other. Don't make judgments of each other. Don't be sarcastic or anything like that. Just listen, ask, tell, repeat. Communication is very, very important in any relationship, and all the moreso in couples who are non-monogamous. When you feel you are ready to take the next step, you might consider going to a swingers meet-and-greet. Depending on your area, there may be one or more of them. It's a good way to kind of break the ice, to meet other like minded people, without having to actually play with anyone. After that, you might consider soft swap, where the two of you play with another couple, doing lots of fun things, but not actually having sex. This can be a safer way to see how you feel. Always discuss with each other how you feel, how it is going, whether it's feeling right or wrong or what have you. Discuss discuss discuss. I could write a lot more. I like to type :) I think you're headed in the right direction, whether you swing or not. It's the opening of a door. Please feel free to ask us anything! We're a helpful bunch! And let us know how it goes!

Single guy. Picked us up on a nude beach on vacation. Later that evening he was fucking my wife in our hotel room.

Some of the work out tights these days leave little to the imagination front or back, hard not to look when they are a nude color too!

The interesting thing about this thread was that I had to double check with Daniela about her past on this. We love talking about our sexual past, hers being much more interesting and varied than mine, which was fucking the same woman for twenty years, so I can usually write without checking with her. But her girl-on-girl play isn't as interesting to me as the guys she seduced and fucked, and I have gotten into as much details about her girl play. She had two long term Lesbian lovers, and a number of short term girls she fucked for fun. So when I asked Daniela if she had an FFM before we met, she told me that she had not, but did have several FFF encounters with one of her long term Lesbian friends and a hot date. Anyway, a long way around to say that both Daniela's and my first FFM was together with the wife of a couple whose husband, like in the quote above, couldn't make it to a pre-arranged couples swap. He was late flying back home from another city for our swap session so we didn't check to ask permission or anything, we just went at it. It was good, but there wasn't anything that we hadn't done before, so it was hard swap play. I went back and forth between the women, they played with each other, I came in the other wife. It was good all around.

Exactly. For me, however, it's not the cum generally, although I definitely enjoy the feel and thought of that mess inside me. It is the living sperm, swimming around looking to continue the act, going ever deeper into me looking for the egg that I find alternately exciting and comforting. That's why I am a woman having sex. The most I've had is the sperm of four different men from one play session on several occasions. It was, however, my loving boyfriend Red who went last.

Most of the time (when we have time) I (as well as Clair and Lora) will go through a variety of positions. I like to finish on my back, legs up and open wide. Clair likes to finish missionary too, but lying flat, legs down and more together; Lora is ride 'em cowgirl. But for each of us, we pass through doggy along the way. I encourage David and Red to tell me about any woman they fantasize about, whether during sex or normal conversation. I tell them that they can close their eyes if they want during missionary and say her name aloud. It makes me jealous, which I like, and makes me fuck harder. And being bi, I consider the possibilities... (The guys almost always keep their eyes open and stare at my face or little tits, sometimes down to what they're doing in my pussy.) Guys tell me they actually like doggy because it feels different. I agree. Interesting. I like a gentle finger around and in my bum hole.

That's what I like about 69, eating her pussy so well that she can't concentrate on sucking my cock

My first fmf was with my ex wife and her maid of honor. We had a house full of people because that night we were attending an Eagles concert. The maid of honor had a sexual past with me in high school and we couple swapped with her husband as our first swing experience. After the concert we arrived at our house which was full of people spending the night. I had drove to the concert and worked the night before, so I was tired, went into the master bath naked to take a piss where I found my ex and the maid of honor trying to decide where she was going to sleep and I said " just hop in bed with us". So they eventually came to bed with my ex in the middle, my ex gave us both good night kisses. It wasn't long and my ex was stroking my cock, which I don't know about you other guys, but I perform best whenever I am worn out. I started fingering her wet pussy and told her to get on all 4's so I could doggie her. Whenever she got on all 4, I told the maid of honor to let my ex eat her pussy while we doggy. After I cum, the 2 gals continue with each other until the maid of honor crawled on top of me to 69. She got me hard and moved to fuck me cowgirl. My ex set on my face and played with her tits. I came again and I was done, but the girls played for a while longer. The next morning the girls got up early to get our houseguest up to leave and that included the maid of honor. That was the first time that the gals got it on, but it became an ongoing thing. There was always a sexual attraction since both knew that I had fucked the other.

From a recent post: Too many people buy into the BBC myth, or the black man dom/cuckold thing. My though on those stats is that the black guy/white woman marriages are shallow and done to impress people: the black guy showing off that he can get a white woman, and the white woman showing that she's edgy. With a white guy/black woman it's a true relationship and love. The only thing I see in that is that neither one is out to impress and don't give a shit what other people think.

Rubbing noses is the most intimate act.

Yes. My first time I was the one doing the pounding and made the other guy cum because he enjoyed our tips rubbing. When I felt his cock shaft pulsate and then warm cum on my shaft, my load immediately came so I pulled out, aimed and blew my entire load on his ball sack. TBH If the pussy is tight it will feel like your just rubbing dicks with lube. Its kinds like a double barrel hand job but instead of shooting your jizz in the air it gets all over both cocks (if one or both cum inside pussy together). IMO feels great but can be really messy if either of you cum a lot.