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I got a call from the widower this morning asking if I would meet him again tonight. Saturday night I with Michael with me told him I didn’t want a long term relationship with him, that I would be with him just that one time and that the reason I was on AM was just for that reason, nothing long term. He understood my reasoning, his joining that site was for the same reason, no long term complicated troubles. I have nothing negative to report on my time with him, quite the opposite it was a lovely time, almost perfect. I told him the only way I would meet again is if Michael can watch, they already met Saturday with just a checking out time. I assured him Michael is straight and not weird, he just likes to watch or if everyone agrees he will join.

We posted that I listed a profile on Ashley Madison a few weeks with a few on here posting I should stay away from cheaters. My profile was approved by Michael where he has full access to all communication between me and any man who reaches out to me. A married man contacted with a profile that was shocking if it’s true, we think it is. The man is married 25 years and claims he never sees his wife naked, has never had any sex other than missionary, and has 4 children. The only naked women he saw was In pornography he watches alone. Sex is always in the dark with no reactions from his wife and happens every week but not the one week she has her period. He is a fit good looking man that given the chance could have been with many women in his life. I suggested he meet an escort, younger than me and better looking to which he said he wants a real woman, which made Mike and me laugh. I told him my real story, married and my husband likes to watch, almost scared him away. He was shocked that my husband knows about my profile and approves. We are looking for the best time for him to meet me alone and a place nobody will recognize him. I’m calling him my virgin cheater, it could be fun or a real dud.

It is in our nature to be nonmonogamous. We are expected by society to deny it and do so for so long that when we have sex with another partner it seems at first unusual. I am both satisfied with their mutual satisfaction and jealous. My addiction is to my jealousy and the crazy things it makes me want to do afterwards (eat her out, suck and fuck him).

You understand my feelings on this. I posted many times about my first time with a new lover when I can’t believe I gave him my whole body even though we just met and I never did anything like it before. I am positive that if my husband was with us that night the experience would not have been the same. All these years later I wonder why I was able to go alone with a man we just met. We aren’t big swingers, we don’t go looking for others, we have played with a very limited number of others. Group sex is even more limited, the number of times I watched or even been in the same room as my husband playing with another woman even more limited. Like you I do have jealous feelings watching him and a sense of pride when I see him satisfy a partner. I love the feeling of being with the right man, I’m not addicted to it.

Many swingers don’t understand that being alone with a sexual partner is one of most pleasurable activities for me. It is difficult for me to fully enjoy my partner if anyone including my husband is watching. Watching him with a woman has become a bit easier, not something I find myself needing to do.

I wasn't an evangelical Christian.

I met another sexual partner on AM who was a perfect gentleman and registered his profile for another not typical reason, he is a widower. His wife died a few years ago from medical complications after a 25 year happy, monogamous marriage. It took him some time to re-enter the dating scene, meeting primarily divorcees who were looking for relationships, something he wasn’t interested in. He was honest in telling me he slept with a few of the women he met but they all became too needy. He joined Ashley though it is not cheap for men because he wanted to be with women that had no relationship expectations and were open to be their sexual selves. I was explicit with him that I am married and a swinger that is not cheating and wanted him to meet Michael before doing what we both wanted. I am pretty sure he thought I was an escort and Michael was my pimp even when we assured him I wasn’t looking for anything more.

Fair questions. Meeting this man alone without Michael was a choice we made together. I don’t know what I expected or how his virility would be. I thought it would be interesting, and SAFE.

Was this “date” more about him or you? Not a therapist here I just wonder if the lights on were for him to see your beauty as a woman not as a sex craving person. I’m thinking if you were meeting a married man for sex you would want a virile experienced man who would please you, not a man you had to give a biology lesson to. And you had him see you fully naked without comparison to any other woman.

Addressing this post, no random meeting is absolutely safe, my feeling is it is safer, random pickups are dangerous. My AM meeting was completely different from any other man I met just for sex. I knew this when I set up the date, not expecting a highly charged sexual night. He did not lie on his profile or in our conversations prior to meeting him, he was a true novice to sexual anything. I assured him that it will be fun for him but he was nervous about being with me. He kept talking about his wife and kids, showing me so many pictures. My understanding it’s an upbringing of his wife that is the problem, sexually repressed. The big take away is that he had sex with the lights on and saw what a naked woman looks like.

Not every man on AM is a cheater, a few have the blessing of an understanding wife with a mutual understanding of an open marriage.

I will be meeting him later today in a hotel, about an hour away. Michael wants to meet him before we go to a room for safety reasons, not to join us. Michael thinks I’m going to be disappointed, I’m more optimistic and excited. I’m sure I will hear more about his wife and his life. I don’t judge others when it comes to sex or how others live their lives. I have read much on morality and how it plays a role in swinging, we don’t push our morals on others. The vast majority of the population would say Swinging is immoral. There are those on here who say swinging should only be done as a couple, something I would have agreed with years ago, we’ve changed our feelings. Most morality is based on religion, deep rooted or superficially. Monogamy has never been a must if you read the history of man. Most characters in history have had sex out of marriage. If you deep dive into the lives of men in “the Bible”, Abraham was told by his wife Sarah, who couldn’t have children to have a child with her slave. There are many other stories of other men having several wives. Back to my “cheater”, should he divorce his sexless wife? Marriage is much more than sex. I know nothing about him or his marriage or family or why he finds looking for sex from someone, me, a better option to divorce. Sex is physical pleasure, not love or a more meaningful reason to stay together. In our brief messaging he never said anything negative about his family life except his curiosity to what he knows other men and women do.

The best quickies I ever had were early on when it was only me and the two guys. Red, who liked my fresh, would bend me over onto a table, pull my pants down, and do it while his hands would explore under my shirt. Hubby, who liked to watch, would follow doing the same thing. Five minutes and four orgasms among us.

We met as couples then played as singles in separate cabins on a cruise ship. Other than my husband it was the most memorable sexual night for me.

Vacation is about the only time K and I swing since covid. K is a nurse and has little time off unless she is on vacation. We go to Cancun or Ocho Rios and have had little trouble finding a couple to swing with.

No need to defend small ass women, because no one is attacking them! Just answering the question on my own personal preference! There are plenty of men and women that prefer toned skinny women and have no interest in a woman with extra curves. Everyone has different things they find attractive and that is a good thing, because there are lots of body types out there to be appreciated. The missus prefers men with low body fat even though she herself does not have low body fat! Good thing for her there are men like that who prefer the curves. If others are not interested no harm done, because not everyone is compatible sexually. As for the deep penetration it is really dependent on the size of the woman’s cervix and the man’s length! In our case she has a small cervix and I have extra length. If I am not careful I hit a wall and it is not super comfortable for either of us. The extra cushion helps keep me from going balls deep. Different positions also come into play in this regard.

This poll and question resurface from time to time. We have moved into our "forever home", designed from the ground up to be clothing-optional with no direct sightlines into the home or the courtyard (except, in the dead of winter when the leaves are off the trees and no one is going to spend time naked outside anyway). Nude (or, in French, au naturel) is the way we are born. It is the most natural state. We bathe, make love, and sleep that way. Clothing for protection, for warmth, for fantasy--all of that makes sense. Clothing makes sense for most public, professional, and business gatherings. Clothing makes sense for many forms of recreation. It makes sense for some social gatherings. But for "everyday", for other recreation (typically warm environment or wet environment or both) , clothing ought to be optional, nude is normal, and people ought to choose what is comfortable for them. If you visit, we'll ask that you remove your shoes (or wear shoe covers) out of respect for our wood floors. If you want to keep everything else on, or you prefer to take everything else off, that's up to you. We'll welcome you either way.

I was raised in a strict Catholic situation, including Catholic school through twelfth grade, and wonder sometimes how that brought me to where I am. Three thoughts: I rebelled against it all; my fascination with testicles and having a man's living sperm in me started with sex ed (labeled "Family Health") taught strictly from the reproductive viewpoint; and when a girl classmate asked the nun what a "mistress" is. The answer, "A married man's girlfriend," made me think that's what I want to be.

Daniela never used Ashley Madison or any other app to find relationships, she found them in real life, having contact with many professional men who were not coworkers. My wife preferred married guys for a number of reasons: there were limits to the relationship (none of them wanted to leave their wife, regardless of what was said in the moment), they were particularly grateful, that they were fucking another woman - their wife - and Daniela would get them to talk about it and always arranged for him to "accidently" meet the wife (something of a kink of Daniela's), and there was no expectation that he would buy her anything, she hated that aspect of regular dating. She thought that they were safer in both ways. Since she worked with them, she could spot the crazies beforehand (there was really only one she considered then bailed), and since they were almost always monogamous, the chance of an STD was low. She never contracted anything.

Ashley Madison sounds interesting. I’m thinking it’s the safest place to find partners without the fear of attachment. I understand that it’s not swinging, it’s sex as others point out, is it just sex or is it something else that makes a man join and women search for married men. Is it really safer for both partners, or are random pickups safer?

When she was single, my now wife Daniela preferred and had (the best word is) "relationships" with many married men, often more than one at a time. She preferred married guys for a number of reasons: there were limits to the relationship (none of them wanted to leave their wife, regardless of what was said in the moment), they were particularly grateful, that they were fucking another woman - their wife - and Daniela would get them to talk about it and always arranged for him to "accidently" meet the wife (something of a kink of Daniela's), and there was no expectation that he would buy her anything, she hated that aspect of regular dating. When I first met Daniela we went out, then started having sex, we openly talked about our past. I got to the point quickly where I told her that I didn't need for her to be monogamous, but please no married men. She explained that she never broke up a marriage, she helped repair them and keep them together. She liked being the secret third in a marriage, the other woman, who tried to make him a better husband and provided him what was missing. Many gifts were bought, vacations taken, dinners enjoyed, but not with Daniela, with his wife. Daniela even bought and paid for gifts for the guy's wives for him to give her. Then Daniela wanted to hear all about it, how the relationship was going, including the sex. Meanwhile, Daniela gave him what he lacked, whether it was sex when there was little or none, to specific things that his wife just wouldn't do - ride him cowgirl, anal, blowjobs to completion, dirty talk. That's why my wife is so happy where we ended up in the lifestyle. After her hotwifing at first to get comfortable that marriage doesn't mean monogamy, then MFMs with me, we started to swing, but settled into swapping within a closed group of married couples. Now she can openly fuck a married guy in our group and talk directly with his wife, even play with her. (I've left out the bi aspect of my wife's past and current sex life, that's a whole other story.) Plus in her mind, Daniela gets to mind play with the fact that she is a married woman with other men in her life, and I am her husband with other women in my life. The whole purpose of this post is that I have come to understand, there are reasons that a woman wants to play, have a relationship with a married man, be his sidepiece. And it isn't necessarily wrong. Of all the married guys that Daniela had relationships with when she was single, only one wife suspected. She confronted Daniela at one of the arranged, "accidental" meetups. Daniela admitted to it, and wife told her that she must have a "golden pussy", then asked her to meet up for dinner. The wife never confronted the husband, the relationship continued for a while, then ended. But Daniela and the wife kept in pleasant contact for a while thereafter. The couple is still together. Strange. Daniela doesn't read much here on the Swingerboard, but she helped me with this post.

If a cheater is otherwise a good spouse, supporting a wife and children, but is getting no sex, I could see cheating as better for all than divorce.

Yes there are other important parts of a relationship other than sex! Communication, trust, mutual respect, loyalty, compassion, integrity, openness and honesty. You have none of them with a cheater. I don’t expect everyone in the world to be a good human being to others, because I am well aware many are not. I just choose to distance myself from them as much as possible. If that makes me judgemental to them good. They will know to stay away.

We could care less why a person cheats! If you are in an unhappy marriage you can choose to leave it. If you are not on the same page sexually you are not a good match. Regardless of what anyone says a compatible sex life is a super important part of a relationship. Without it there will always be resentment. You made the wrong choice in a partner and you learned a lesson. Change is not a bad thing. Move on and start over. I did after a 16 year marriage with two children and everyone was better off for it. Is it hard? Yes, but it is worth it to be happy again. Cheating is right up there with lying, stealing and domestic abuse for us! It is a characteristic that makes a person undesirable to be around let alone consider having intimate time with. We are not religious at all, but we do have morales, believe in karma, respect and choose to live our life treating people how we would want to be treated in return. Just, because we are not the ones cheating it does not take away the fact that we would be taking part in the act of human betrayal towards another person that could possibly destroy their life and faith in people. That would make us no better than the cheater in our mind. We prefer to be decent human beings even when so many others are not. I consider myself extremely lucky to have landed one of the good people when I met Missus Enhancer. Knowing what kind of shitty selfish people are out there helps me never take her for granted.

We have seen and heard the same. Yes. Wow. There is a word for that woman: Asexual. And while being asexual may be fine and dandy, it is less so when an asexual person commits to marriage with a sexual person. Yet indeed that happens.

Per my wife, this is very common for the men on AM. I just figured that most men were common cheaters looking for some free strange from unsatisfied women or in our case women looking for revenge sex. The scenario the OP put out there is common, no sex at all for some men. She no longer hides her meetings from me, telling all about the men. She has been a first blowjob for many many men, men who have no idea what a clitoris is, and men who just complain how sex is boring.

We have married lesbian friends one of which I dated before they married. Her wife also dated guys before they became a couple. I was not totally surprised that they became a couple, more surprised when they married, it made me wonder what I did that pushed her that way. Good news they both enjoy men for sex and happy that the friend I dated still enjoys me to please her the way only a real penis can do. Who is luckier, I have a wife and our two friends. Marriage is about love, sex is about sex. My thought they have a love connection yet are bi.

This young Lioness has gone through some tough times in the last few years, marriage being a major effect on her personal life. Without saying too much she has moved a few times, fell on some difficult times and is doing much better now. She has the toughness of young lady with street smarts she learned early on in her life. Those who don’t know her, she is still younger than most on here and was only in her twenties when she became active. Alan and I met her and her ex and found her an extremely smart astute person who knows what she wants and can defend herself against bullies in real life and on any social postings. It’s ironic that the poster that PeterJ thinks pushed her to stop posting is no longer posting either. I just went back to that topic and saw your posts defending our friend.

I enjoyed PSU Lioness' viewpoints as well. Such a shame how lady posters (single or married) attract toxic personalities 😑

Sad to hear about Al. He was a great admirer of his late wife. His love shined through. Padoc did pass away. I found him entertaining and blunt. I enjoyed PSU Lioness’s posts. Nice to get a younger person’s perspectives. Hate to hear a jerk or jerks gave her a hard time. Most jerky posters flush out. Blocking them works, too. On a totally unrelated note, a site I enjoyed has ended. Digital Photography Review, aka dp review or, as my wife taunted, double penetration review. It was a legit photography site. Now gone.

PSULioness contributed frequently, thoughtfully and candidly until April, 2021, and then stopped abruptly. (You can check out her profile.) She came back in October, 2022, commenting on a post that posed the question: "Would you sell your sex?" She received aggressive & dismissive pushback from one board member. PSULioness and I exchanged several PMs at the time, discussing the status of her marriage and the bad treatment she’d received. She hadn’t posted since. I don’t have any contact info for her other than what’s here on the board. Perhaps she still monitors the board and you could reach her through a PM.

We describe ourselves in our SLS Profile as "Retired professionals". We mean it simply to convey two facts about us: 1) We used to work for a paycheck, but we don't anymore. 2) We did white collar rather than blue collar work. We throw it out there in the same way we throw out that we're in the gym 5-6 times a week, and that we don't do drugs, and that we enjoy visiting wineries ... all of which are ALSO in our Profile. Knowing that we're retired professionals might give someone a reason to be interested in us, or it might give them a reason to pass us by, or it *might* not matter to them one iota either way ... exactly the same way all of those other facts might help inform their opinion of us. But it doesn't mean that we consider ourselves better -- for some definition of the word -- than anybody else.

My wife and I have been nudists since 1973. We are usually at least partially nude at all time around the house. I have shot a great number of fine-art nudes of my wife over the years and have started posting them on Flickr. My wife and I have also both posed nude for figure drawing and figure photography sessions. For a few years my wife was a nude model at a university where I taught. We have also been interviewed as nudists for local newspapers in Maryland.

The dynamic is interesting. Our first-time experience was the same as everyone else's--trepidation that lasts a few minutes to a few hours, followed by the realization that no one cares, followed by the realization that wearing textiles calls attention to you as the exception, followed by "why didn't we do this sooner in our lives?" We have adopted the somewhat-California-esque tradition of having a hot tub out back, and an unambiguous message that swimsuits are disallowed. Guests love it. What happens in the hot tub depends on what we and the guests want. With vanilla friends, it's simple nude relaxation. With LS friends, it depends on everyone's mood. It's not exhibitionism. It's comfort.