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Have you considered a sperm scarecrow, otherwise known as an IUD? They come in hormonal and non-hormonal varieties. Also the diaphragm, although I don't know of anyone using it currently.

Some women would see that as an advantage. I empathize with men in that regard, some women are always complaining that men are too quick or too slow to orgasm, when women can be as well. Plus men have the added job of ejaculating - opening valves, priming the pump and whatever else is involved. That's why I trained myself (successfully, I believe) to enjoy the ride however long it is, sense when he approaching climax and cum when/before he does. It's a coordinated effort. I hate condoms. Our guys are in great shape, but that's part of the problem. After doing in the morning, working all day, then hitting the gym and/or running, the guys are often too tired to perform adequately at night.

We have enjoyed African American swing partners, both couples and singles. We find the whole BBC characterization to be racially insensitive, even if it is a somewhat positive attribute, if the person has it. It is dehumanizing and it reduces a person to a prop. I find that people who do not want to play with black people are not the kind of people that we want to play with. Even though we are white.

It has happened to varying degrees among all of the couples in our group, but sex is only one of the drivers. The woman who I am most attached to, other than my wife, is not the one who I have sex with the most, although we do frequently get together; she is the one wth whom I share common interests that our spouses don't. It is the woman who I have most often gone on overnights, long weekends, even a vacation by ourselves. Even that, however, has made me appreciate my wife more. The relationship with the woman who I am attached to is like two dimensional - our shared common interests and sex. With my wife it has many more dimensions besides sex and common interests: family, house, our future dreams.

Whether or not bareback is possible depends on the couple. In my experience, condoms are a given in most circumstances. On your profile, you can indicate a preference for bareback. That might help you, and might dissuade couples that otherwise would play with you. My wife dislikes condoms more than any other woman I've ever known (and talked with on the subject). We've always used condoms except with two long term boyfriends she had and a couple whom we were exclusive with and tested. The two long term boyfriends started out with condoms, but over time, a willingness on their part to be exclusive and testing, the condoms were no longer necessary.

Another interesting scenario along these lines which we've encountered... couples reaching out to us with profiles that say "No BBC" or the likes when I (male half) am black! Typically don't even respond, but how tone deaf are people?!?