Leaderboard

At a house party some years ago, I had one arm around Ms Dive and one arm around the hostess' maid. I informed said ladies that I needed to pee and asked if one of the would like to hold it for me. Ms Dive replied "Why not both of us?" So off to the bathroom we go. I still had to tell them to point it down further or I would be peeing on the wall. Fun times....

I'm horrified by stories of patients lining up in ER due to penises getting stuck inside due to IUD! 🤣 But kidding aside, afaik, even the non-hormonal type, also use copper or some agents to block off sperms from entering the uterus. I just like the holistic approach to wellness. I know it somehow takes away some of the fun in the play by being constantly on guard with partners.

Have you considered a sperm scarecrow, otherwise known as an IUD? They come in hormonal and non-hormonal varieties. Also the diaphragm, although I don't know of anyone using it currently.

Just have to say and I realize this may be a bit off topic. I find blame to be so unproductive. The need to blame or even to find out who did what is about ego, usually. Yes, it's great to discuss a situation, determine the missteps but then move on. Relationships are SO MUCH more complex than right or wrong, blame or forgiveness. A previous post talked about love and why you fell in love with her and her with you. So, much more productive, in my pee brain, to focus on the bigger picture, focus on love, on the relationship. Relationships are hard and no one should enter a marriage or long term commitment with any expectation that there will never be slip ups or mistakes. In fact, we should expect them. For us, what's important is how we communicate and listen after the fact. Openly, honestly, lovingly and with forgiveness, knowing we are committed to working it out, setting aside our egos because getting to the other side together is ALWAYS whats most important. This coming from a guy that's been happily married for 44 years to my high school sweetheart. And believe me, we've had our ups and downs, some right her in the LS. But, nothing has ever been so consuming to rip apart the foundation we've built. Again, my best to you both.

Communication and trust is the enemy of jealousy. I was an extremely jealous person and found that good communication 'cures' jealousy.

That was me, and to a large degree still is. I couldn't stand the thought of my husband David or boyfriend Red having sex with another woman, even though I had them both and both knew about the other. For two years that were both monogamous with me (I worked really hard to keep them both satisfied, giving them whatever they wanted and as much as they wanted. I actually liked the challenge of satisfying two men.) Until one day my female friend said straight out that my husband was hot and it must be great sleeping with him. It drove me over the edge. She was much more attractive than me, I had seen David looking at her. I snapped and said, "That can be arranged." I went home and told (didn't ask) David to have sex with her. They did. I wasn't there to watch (David went over her place) but it drove me crazy. I was insanely jealous, but I also loved it and couldn't wait for David to fuck her again, and other women too (of my choosing, I was a control freak). When I found a girl who was ok with me watching, it took it to another level. And I found "reclaiming" him to be exquisite. (The first time I immediately took his spent dick in my mouth and tasted her.) When I could not only watch, but also participate, it brought out my Lesbian side. I still get jealous whenever David or Red has sex with Clair or Lora, or Clair and Lora go at it, but I now love the multitudes of feelings that I get. Does she feel him the same way that I do? Does her pussy feel better to him than mine? Now I cannot shake my addiction. It may feel dangerous, but agree that if you go for it and it isn't something you want to continue, you just stop at least for a while, and talk about it. No recriminations, no blame, just move on.

Like many of the other people on here, we started off quite slowly. After being monogamous for twenty years, I started writing erotic stories as a hobby. I showed my wife my work, she enjoyed it. This led into discussions about the lovers we had before we were married, and our fantasies. The process went in fits and starts; sometimes we’d have a long weekend where we’d talk of little else, or the topic might be completely dropped for a couple of months. It took us three years before we decided to go to a swing club, and a week after that we both lost our Lifestyle cherry. The wait was worth it. By the time we jumped, we both knew what we wanted, what the other desired. There was no *extreme* surprises, neither of us became jealous or concerned. Use the obvious conclusion: If either of you is unsure of anything, don’t do it! When you’re comfortable, when you’re ready, you’ll both know it. Have fun in the journey.

So many memories, good and not great ones. I try to remember that first night as a great night that lead to more fun and memorable times. I also try to erase the uncomfortable times that is all part of mostly positive change in our life. It’s many years now from when I saw my husband with the woman he slept with, naked in what was my bed. Even if my night was great I still had that jealous feeling of seeing her. My husband assured me he was thrilled that I had a good night. He asked me more, I didn’t ask him much. Our next day play has bothered me for years, even if I try to play it off. I had been the brunt of some jokes the times we met them later on. My husband enjoyed watching at my expense me having sex or a man having sex with me, totally different from the man I was with the night before. He enjoyed watching me be uncomfortable having a woman rubbing on my mouth for my first time, enjoyed being in a woman who orally made me orgasm when I didn’t want to. I still wish that next day didn’t happen the way it did, a day we no longer talk about, and now a day that changed me for what I like to say for the better. Better because it prepared me for things we eventually did together and alone.

We jumped in one toe at a time. It started by us talking about our past sexual experiences (interesting and sexy as well) and moved on to talking about our fantasies. as trust built, we just kept talking and asked if we wanted to try and make some of the fantasies come true. We kept talking and developed our own rules, limits and boundaries, even though we were both 'nervous' (for lack of a better word) as to what it could cause to our relationship. More talk and we set up a profile on SLS and started meeting people for dinners, just to see if there was any interest. There were LOTS of dinners that went nowhere other than a fun night out with another couple and some sexy talks as we exchanged experiences and the like. Eventually, we met another couple that we 'clicked' with and we started 'dating' them. We all talked and set common rules and modified them as we found them unnecessary (or just silly...we started with the 'no kissing' rule that didn't last very long) Next came same room sex, then soft swaps, then vacations, concerts, weekends, etc together. It has been an amazing experience! Nothing like having another couple that you are best friends with...AND you can get naked with. You don't need to jump into the deep end. You can just wade into the water and get used to the temperature. If it gets too cold, you can just as easily get back out. One rule that we have always had was if wither of us wanted to stop, we both would stop...never looking back, never asking questions. Since this is more than either of us thought we would experience, we are SO FAR ahead of the game and so much closer than we ever could imagine that it would be okay to just stop (but that hasn't happened...it might some day, but not yet). The only 'sad' thing is that the other couple that we had been dating for so many years finally had to move further away. Now instead of being able to get together as much as we liked, it's become a once every several months thing, but sometimes life intervenes. Just remember to always keep talking and don't rush things...you have your entire lives ahead so enjoy the trip as much as the destination. Good luck with whatever you decide and let us know how you are doing no matter what it is.

ExploringOptions, welcome! You're in the right place! This is a helpful bunch of people, and we'll be happy to answer your questions. I'm glad you didn't act on the possibility of playing with that other couple before you and your husband had really talked this out. That would have been a big, big mistake! One thing you sort of naturally are already doing that is important in the swinger world; don't change rules mid-stream. I.e., know where the limits are before going into a potential play situation and stick to those limits until you've had chance to talk more. So, without even thinking of it you're already doing well To your questions; For my wife and I, we began exploring the concept of swinging some six years into our marriage. I'd been briefly involved in a triad (husband, wife, me) before meeting my wife. She'd previously noted that she couldn't accept the idea this wife had gone against her marital vows. I never thought we would get into swinging, nor did I even think about it. I was fine with that. Fast forward to being married six years and my wife mentions it would be cool to have two men massaging her (she looooves massage) at the same time. That tiny little spark started a months long discussion, with lots of time spent digging around on the net trying to find answers, and getting a lot of them here. We talked thinks over, thought of potential scenarios, re-talked over points we'd previously talked over, etc. etc. etc. We too developed the same thing you two have; looking at other people and saying "She's/He's a yes!" It's fun to do As we talked more, the "She's/He's a yes!" started becoming more real in our minds. After months of this, we finally figured we'd talked as much as we could about it, and felt nervously comfortable with the idea of trying it. We figured we'd try a few times and see how it was. If it kept on being "blah" then we'd give it up. Our first forays were set up by going to a swinger club and also signing up at swinglifestyle.com (SLS). Through the club, we soft-swapped with a couple, which was a good ice breaker for us. We had an enjoyable evening. From there we moved onto meeting up with single guys for MFMs via SLS. The first couple of times we did this, my wife had an ok time, but not great. Just kinda..."eh". But, the third time...wow! I mean WOW! My wife absolutely LOOOVED having sex with the guy and could not get enough. After we left, she said with a big grin on her face, "Ok, NOW I'm a swinger!" Having these MFMs felt a bit awkward at first. You don't grow up thinking about having sex as a threesome! But it all worked out well. We all know what to do, it's just having a third involved too The very first time, I helped undress my wife for the gentleman while he was kissing her and moving his hands over her body. Things progressed from there. Feel free to ask us anything!

As a bi woman, I prefer FFM so I can satisfy both sides of my sexuality. In our little poly family there's no need for condoms, so the guys can go from woman to woman without "disruption." And yes, sometimes an MFM is great, getting and depleting both men while I keep going.

I was at a sports bar with my sister over the holiday picking up some wings and overheard two couples talking about this every subject – couple swapping and how comfortable they all were around one another. When I heard one of the wives say how homophobic her husband was at first and how amazing it is that he now helps the other man put it in got me randied up. I sat down near them and when my sister came back from the restroom I turned red as a beet. They were talking about sucking penises together and how it was no big deal kissing back and forth after all the swapping and such. I wanted to ask them sooooooo many questions. My sister knew it and was vehemently shaking her head, pleading with her eyes for me not to speak up. Anyway it appeared they had been swapping among themselves for years and it possible took a few years for everyone to totally get comfortable with one another, especially the men. But it sounded as though they were all very comfortable now. And I mean VERY comfortable. Too bad I was an out of towner.