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IRL does anyone else look at others at wonder if they are swingers? We are now playing a game where I see a man and ask my husband what does he think, he looks at the woman and gives a thumbs up or down. My husband never has a problem talking to strangers, I’m usually quiet and tell him he’s never going to meet swingers with random conversation. Reading comments on here we understand that talking before doing anything is very important and all the talk we are having is fun fantasy talk. He asked me if we picked someone up what would be the first thing I would do with him, I ask him what he would do with her. The real question he asked me was how would I feel watching him do what he said to another woman. Made me think 🤔

It is nice to get the chance to suck another man's cock but why? I just did this for my man and wow he loved it! Two friends came over and I did what he wanted to be the very the best I could be.

When one reads this sort of article on CNN https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/best-nude-beaches-world/index.html It's pretty clear that nude recreation has become mainstream.

So one of my friends is engaged and I am going to be an usher at the wedding. His best man is his brother and he reached out to me through text to discuss the bachelor party. He covered everything from going to Vegas, staying local and going to dinner and a strip club, going paint balling, having the party at his place, etc etc. Obviously COVID can end up throwing a wrench into anything though so we wanted some backup ideas. I was discussing all of this with my GF and made a (somewhat joking) comment that she could save us money on a stripper if she was the entertainment and she was immediately into it. She is a party girl so I was kind of expecting her to say something like that. We talked about it for 2 minutes but not seriously. Fast forward and my buddy's brother comes over to my place with a friend of mine (another usher) to discuss the bachelor party. As we're discussing and my GF overhears she comes out and makes a comment "what time do you want me there?" They immediately laugh it off and say it's guys only and she says she can be the entertainment. At this point my friend looks over at me with a smile because he knows where this is going (he knows about my GF and has had sex with her) but the groom's best man was a little confused. My GF makes the comment that she has stripped at amateur nights at clubs and done dances and more. Right away my buddy is on the bandwagon saying he thinks it's a great idea (of course) but the groom's brother had a more awkward/ confused look on his face so I change the topic and move on and we eventually end the night with nothing officially planned. The next day my friend (the other usher) calls me up to discuss and he is completely on board with my GF attending. I told him I think it would be hot and my GF would probably do it but I think it might be too awkward for our friend's brother. He said he spoke to him after they left the other night and explained what exactly that meant and that my GF was being serious and said that he was onboard with it. So now I talk to my GF about it again and she is excited and wants to do it. She's not concerned whatsoever but I am the one who has some concerns. Like I said she is a party girl and has stripped at clubs on amateur night, has done gangbangs, has entertained at other parties, etc. so I'm not concerned that she can't handle it or anything but here are my concerns: 1) She has had sex with the groom many times but not since he has been engaged. Should I feel weird about putting them into that type of situation together? 2) I don't control the guest list. I am still not 100% sure who will be at this bachelor party and I'm not even sure the best man knows yet but there will be people we don't know there although from the discussions we had it won't be a large group of guys. 3) Sex will be involved and that can get awkward for some people. This situation will most definitely lead to sex but since I don't know who will be there I don't know how others will respond or if there will be people who will be left out. My GF told me she will figure out a way to make everyone satisfied but she is not a prostitute and therefore doesn't have any obligation to make sure everyone or anyone is sexually satisfied. My GF says I'm overthinking the whole thing and a bachelor party is just supposed to be a fun time. We had met a group of guys in the past at a strip club who were having a bachelor party and my GF entertained a few of them afterwards but we had no idea who they were so there wasn't a concern of creating any awkwardness or having any expectations because we could just walk away afterwards. I know my GF has been itching for another all night gangbang so this is almost the easiest and quickest way to arrange it. I think it's a hot idea but my only concern is creating some sort of a rift. On the other hand my GF is right that it's supposed to be a fun and wild night and everyone is an adult and can make their own decisions. Has anyone ever been the entertainment for a bachelor party for a scenario like this?

Talking before doing was a crazy exciting time for us as we focused on the friends we were invited to start with. Excitement and fear are the two dominant feelings we experienced and the reason we joined here to ask questions. There are plenty of opinions from experienced educated posters that can guide and answer questions even if none can know your deep feelings and insecurities. Keep talking and keep asking, you will know when it’s right, then still have the fear.

There are a few other non-hormonal, non-condom BC methods I've used, but it's mostly been 'VCF' - vaginal contraceptive film. Comes in a box of 4-8 foil packets. It's a small square of semi-gel she inserts. You're supposed to wait 10-15 minutes before sex, and add a new one each time. I thought they worked great. Portable and discreet and little imposition. Maybe an idea. I think the sponge is available again, but I've never used it. Only info I have about it is my ex's friend got pregnant using it. Apparently doesn't work so well if you've had kids, which she didn't know. I really wish there was BC for men. I know there's a sperm-blocking injection that's being explored, and is in use in India. I'd go for that.

Indeed there can be lots of duds. As you've noted, with 'vanilla' dating you get the same problem. We use a lot of filtering mechanisms to help weed out the duds. One thing we do is have a passage in our profiles that they need to say something like their favorite color in their contact email with us. That way we know they actually read our entire profile, rather than skimming trying to hookups. If they don't do it, we delete and block. AdamGunn is right; don't bother with those who have not paid. Ok, any idiot can have a few bucks to sign up, but it adds at least some certainty that they aren't drive-bys looking for a hookup who have no clue what the lifestyle is about. In person, if it's a single male we look hard for signs they are cheaters; missing ring on their finger (often easy to tell) for example. We also ask why are they single and in the lifestyle. Some guys have legitimate reasons. Others... it can get obvious rather quick that they are cheating. Also, anyone who is pushy is turned away. We started swinging in 2008. We've only had one true dud that we played with, and that was a couple. There were some who were not so good, but no other duds. There were a fair number...maybe half?...who were duds that we or my wife never played with. Along the way, we adapted based on our experiences and others relating their experiences here. We felt that if you find a couple or single who is a good match, and fun/good in bed, then keep them around for a while. Ok, you loose some sense of excitement over time as it's less "new". But, you gain not playing with our trying to sort out as many duds. This is how my wife had two long term boyfriends (not overlapping) lasting for years, along with a couple for over a year (and counting). You also gain intimate knowledge of what makes them feel good and vice versa, which is something that's hard to achieve on one meeting. It's not that you want a partner to add on to the partner you already have. It's picking up a play partner who is fun to play with from time to time, without the aspects of a full relationship wrapped around it. If you decided to try that route, you and your husband will need to figure out how your own emotions and that of your play partner(s) would work into that. The more you play, the more chances of more involved emotions developing. Some couples avoid that like the plague, some don't. We don't, and it's worked well for us. That might not work well for you, or it might. That all depends on what the picture in your mind is showing you :) Swing clubs are not all alike. There's commonalities, but there are also differences. In terms of the place, there's usually some common area where people socialize, and another area with separate rooms where people can play. Rooms have doors of course. Some clubs have a rope like you would see at a movie theatre that can be attached across the opening of the room, which means "It's ok to watch, just don't come in". I saw one club that had a window for each room. If you left your curtains open, people in the hallway could watch you. Clubs often have a general area where people can play in full view of others as well, if they so choose. In terms of people, you already know what swingers are like. You might be asking, "How do I know THAT?" It's easy. You're already doing it in you and your husband checking out other people and sharing they're a yes or a no. The average person in a store you run into is what you see among swingers. Swingers are not all Adonis or Aphrodite. They don't spend 7 hours a day 7 days a week in the gym. We're all just typical average people. Some better looking, some not so. Some more conversational, some less so. Some great lovers, some less so. The spectrum of society you see in your day to day world is the spectrum of society you see among swingers. That's who shows up at swinger clubs. If you're in a room with 50 other people, chances are rather high that at least one of them is a swinger. Can you pick out which one? Nope, because we all look like your average person :) Tangential; some people where swinger jewelry to let people know they're swingers. Some people like to do this on holiday, which lets others who are swingers know. There's lots of different options. Some are subtle, some less so. The most dramatic one my wife has is a necklace with a pendant in the middle, and two chains leading either side to nipple rings, which of course are under her blouse or dress. This tends to have a moth-to-flame effect :) You can look up swinger jewelry if this is of interest to you. It's a good thought experiment to consider. Everyone has their likes and dislikes. How someone else is might not be to your taste. It's also possible your husband will respond very positively to that, and that might not be what you want. But, another way to think of it; if he's having fun, is that a bad thing? He's not replacing you. My wife frequently will make sounds with a lover that I don't hear her make with me. She's not a "screamer" but she definitely makes delicious sounds when she's having sex. The first time I realized her sounds were different, it registered with me, and not entirely positively. But, that subsided quickly as I realized she was having a great time, and that's why we were there after all, right? She makes sounds with me she doesn't make with other lovers. It's not conscious on her part, it's just how she reacts. Don't expect perfect. It won't happen. You and your husband aren't perfect either; you're just perfect enough for each other that you married. There's an often quoted idea here; don't go into a swinging evening with any other expectation than having a pleasant evening out. There's no way that another man/woman or couple could ever meet all your expectations and hopes. Plus, having many expectations and hopes will lead to disappointment when they aren't met. If you go to dinner with a friends of yours (just friends, not swinging) you don't have any expectations of anything other than a pleasant meal and conversation. Think of swinging in the same way. You and your husband will have rules on what the limits are for the evening. Stay within those rules. Anything within those rules that is fun is gravy. Also, the diversity of the sexual experience you have with someone else is not something you can specifically expect; just generally. So, just imagine having fun, without expectations other than you and your husband staying within your agreed rules. There isn't a biological science book out there that will tell you that as a species, humans are monogamous. We're not. We've developed societies where the vast majority support and encourage monogamy, but there are many societies that have developed and still exist where monogamy is not the norm. Cheating us common; as many as 20% of marriages have one or the other spouse cheating. Among college age singles in a committed relationship, those rates skyrocket to 2/3rds. If monogamy were the norm among humans, those figures would likely be a lot lower. Our society has many pressures to be monogamous. We're effectively trained to be monogamous from early in our childhood. We have many structures in place to support and encourage monogamy. Thus, there's an expectation of monogamy. But, it's not how humans are really wired. You did the right thing by not playing with that couple. You weren't ready. You didn't by any chance get contact information for that couple, did you?

When I first started swinging, I got read the riot act about condoms. At the same time, the hosts/organizers always averred "we aren't the condom police." Condoms were always available and encouraged. My experience agrees with the always/depends/never percentages given in the polls above. People will *say* they always use condoms, but off alone almost everyone would prefer bareback. At parties I always used condoms with couples/women I didn't know. After we knew each other better, it graduated to bareback. A few occasions I'd be invited to bareback by someone new. I just went with my gut whether I did or not. Maybe foolhardy, but never any bad outcomes. After a few months of good behavior (and recommendations from hostesses), I was invited to closed pods. Two different groups of 3-6 couples, but they'd change up which pod they frequented from time to time. First time with them, I started to put on a condom and she laughed and made a face. No problems, always a good time. Did spread my seed a little. 🙂 Ironically, condoms rarely came up in straight dating. Only a couple women requested them, and only one consistently.

Unsure or afraid. How can we find a true connection by looking at profiles when it seems so unnatural and then I remember the duds I met on dating sites when I was single. Most guys overstate or brag, I know I picked a picture to post that showed me much more glamorous, my mother’s words at the time. I was uncomfortable the times I had dates from the app, you try to meet with an open mind then instinct takes over. I don’t think either of us are ready for a club, the picture in my mind is most likely not reality or is it? We read the post about meeting a couple on vacation that at first read was perfect, with deeper reading I notice the imperfections that occurred. I don’t know how I will react the first time and what would I do if the other woman took more control. I wonder who wrote monogamy is the normal way to live or is it just hypocrites lying to the world. We won’t be condemned to a place of fire for eternity, if we are there will be many religious pious preachers joining us. We are trying to find that comfortable spot, both of us realize we had a chance that came naturally, a way life is supposed to work, then we slammed the door of opportunity. I was taught opportunity will knock again and to be aware of that opportunity when it comes.

Not sure if we are up to that point of making contact on a dating site, looking at profiles is interesting. It’s interesting that we are even having discussions about this, discussing and having fun. We look as unpaid lookers, not seeing total stories attached to profiles we wonder how many are fakes, the majority we saw we have to attraction to due to age, location or admittedly appearance. I read your story and think that it could have been us if we just said yes to the invitation of joining them. It made me think if I could do what you did, alone with a stranger for sex, probably not because we said no. I hope the when or if we do take the next step that we have the same feelings you have now from a positive meeting. That is where we are now, talking fantasies, I know some of his past, he knows mine, both of us have nothing exciting or earth shattering to hide. He has met my old boyfriends, I met some of his former girlfriends. That scares me, how will I react? I’m a jealous person.

It is wonderful every time that you tell us the story, each with a little more context or detail. It immerses me in the situation and makes me think about the experience and how you felt. You jumped in with both feet, taking a lover. The next morning you saw your husband in bed with his wife... In my mind, it seems as though there is still so much to share; for instance, what was going through your mind as your husband looked at you for the first time afterwards? As I have often said before, I find these situations romantic, compelling,thought provoking.

ExploringOptions, welcome! You're in the right place! This is a helpful bunch of people, and we'll be happy to answer your questions. I'm glad you didn't act on the possibility of playing with that other couple before you and your husband had really talked this out. That would have been a big, big mistake! One thing you sort of naturally are already doing that is important in the swinger world; don't change rules mid-stream. I.e., know where the limits are before going into a potential play situation and stick to those limits until you've had chance to talk more. So, without even thinking of it you're already doing well To your questions; For my wife and I, we began exploring the concept of swinging some six years into our marriage. I'd been briefly involved in a triad (husband, wife, me) before meeting my wife. She'd previously noted that she couldn't accept the idea this wife had gone against her marital vows. I never thought we would get into swinging, nor did I even think about it. I was fine with that. Fast forward to being married six years and my wife mentions it would be cool to have two men massaging her (she looooves massage) at the same time. That tiny little spark started a months long discussion, with lots of time spent digging around on the net trying to find answers, and getting a lot of them here. We talked thinks over, thought of potential scenarios, re-talked over points we'd previously talked over, etc. etc. etc. We too developed the same thing you two have; looking at other people and saying "She's/He's a yes!" It's fun to do As we talked more, the "She's/He's a yes!" started becoming more real in our minds. After months of this, we finally figured we'd talked as much as we could about it, and felt nervously comfortable with the idea of trying it. We figured we'd try a few times and see how it was. If it kept on being "blah" then we'd give it up. Our first forays were set up by going to a swinger club and also signing up at swinglifestyle.com (SLS). Through the club, we soft-swapped with a couple, which was a good ice breaker for us. We had an enjoyable evening. From there we moved onto meeting up with single guys for MFMs via SLS. The first couple of times we did this, my wife had an ok time, but not great. Just kinda..."eh". But, the third time...wow! I mean WOW! My wife absolutely LOOOVED having sex with the guy and could not get enough. After we left, she said with a big grin on her face, "Ok, NOW I'm a swinger!" Having these MFMs felt a bit awkward at first. You don't grow up thinking about having sex as a threesome! But it all worked out well. We all know what to do, it's just having a third involved too The very first time, I helped undress my wife for the gentleman while he was kissing her and moving his hands over her body. Things progressed from there. Feel free to ask us anything!

Years ago on a vacation cruise we ran into a situation like yours, meeting a good looking fit couple that we went to an island beach with. The difference was the beach was clothing optional, a thing my husband and I discussed beforehand knowing we would never see these people again. It’s funny how something that we wouldn’t do at a beach close to home we now did with a few couples we just met. If you are like me you spent days shopping before your vacation looking for that perfect bathing suit that hid what you wanted to hide and made you feel sexy. So here I was exposing my self with nothing covering up flaws to strangers. Sure none of us are perfect but in our small group no one was too bad. That night with a little too much alcohol, I’ll always blame the alcohol, we and one of our new friends decided to swap spouses. I still joke they got me drunk to convince me, I know it’s my excuse if it went wrong. I went to his cabin, she went with my husband to our cabin. Being naked to a man on a beach is not the same as him undressing you to have sex, for me it came easier. Alcohol ease? Alone with him it went easy without much thought. As many times as I have repeated this first time I’m amazed how I enjoyed the night and how I enjoy reliving it each time I tell the story. What I thought was a one time with a stranger has become a years long more than friendship. People say the first time is the hardest, I say the first time was the best of many great times.

Her first ones were actually my friends and her coworkers. No regrets at all but maybe we are just lucky. I think a friend makes it easier because it makes the situation more comfortable and they are already screened. I am not saying everyone should choose a friend or that everyone would be comfortable with a friend but it works for us. I am also not going to say there have been no downsides to engaging with friends either as there are and have been but overall it has been well worth it. Having said that we've also had great experiences with strangers as well.

We decided to have a first with friends my wife’s choice. Most will say to stay away from friends because it leads to hard feelings and loss of friendship and to find a stranger. We went the friend way and it has worked out fine for all of us. As a benefit I get to be with my wife’s best friend.

I'm sure this has been asked a 100 or more times We are not a full swap couple. Softswing would be more like it. But a few years ago I asked my wife to give oral sex to my best friend. We have moved away, yet it still turns me on so much. I obsess about it all the time. Watching a lot of porn about what I discribed. Why do I feel that way? My wife thinks I am a sicko. Yet I read all over the place a lot of married men like. Concerned

I think this is surprisingly common. I used to tell Mrs. E she gives amazing head and she'd dismiss it, on the theory that men enjoy getting head from anyone and nobody would ever say it was bad. She was actually pretty shy about it, and also considered it very intimate. She knew I liked watching her, but it took quite a bit for it to really click that she's skilled and looks good doing it, and that it's something she can do confidently as a way to perform, both for me and for play partners. Once she got into it she had a little game going for a while, which she'd jokingly call "eye doctor", comparing different licks and strokes and asking which one felt and looked better from my perspective. That realization that it's not just a sex act that happens to use her mouth, but a way for her to express something fun and playful and enjoy very positive, joyful attention.

It has become natural for me to watch her now and natural for me to give and get oral sex, not so much the first time. Our friends were swingers before we took our first play with them. My wife and her friend planned to get me to agree to swinging a thing I was sure was wrong. My wife was very eager and looking back I wondered if she and our friends had already done something without me, they all deny deny deny. My wife never seemed bothered or afraid to go between his legs and take him in her mouth, it went too easy no stopping. I watched her enjoying as I got to enjoy her friend who steered me to my own first time. I now enjoy watching her enjoy whatever she does and I enjoy most of our play.

For us it was friends and it worked out great. I had my doubts when my wife talked me into having sex with good friends thinking it was her having the hits for our friend then I thought heck yeah I get to fuck her girlfriend. We have played with strangers that is exciting also but it was friends that got us started.

I definitely prefer my wife performs her oral's skill on other guy's cocks for sure as long as she enjoyed it. Luckily,She has no objection to that saying since it's already there why not enjoy it beside she loves sucking cock.It's a routine to suck my cock to start then the fucking came along.

I want to see my wife get gangbanged. It is a fantasy of mine. Have any other husbands wanted to also see this? Are there any women out there who also fantasize about it? How many men should there be? Any suggestions? Did you enjoy it if you did engaged in one and what did your partner think afterward?

Experienced this last weekend. Met a bi m/f cpl for motel play. We all agreed to bareback sex, since all three produced written records of our latest test results beforehand. She was very nice, and an expert @ what she was doing. He was toned, and pretty hot, with a PHAT cock, very thick. He expressed that he wanted me to fuck him while she watched. So we all got naked & he and I started sucking each other. He then rolled over to the doggie position. I lubed his ass really good. This was only his 2nd time bottoming. She came over to the bed as I slid my stiff cock into him. She maneuvered herself underneath him, 69, with her nose rubbing my balls with each stroke. It was an erotic moment. He started grinding his ass into me as I was balls deep. She stated she wanted me to cum inside him, and he concurred. As I neared the point of no return, she started licking my balls, and that's all it took. I sprayed my load deep in his ass, while he was moaning & grinding against me. When I exited his hole she sucked his cock. He unloaded, and she said it was the biggest load she'd ever had from him. It was an experience not soon to be forgotten. They expressed the desire to meet again, so he could fuck me. I agreed wholeheartedly

Mrs. fit enjoyed MM Play, being in the middle, sliding cocks in asses, etc. She enjoys CD's who enjoy getting fucked and filled and cleaning up. One of our favorite scenarios is ANON sex, where I'm licking Mrs. Hot wet pussy ass up, and a stranger comes and starts to fuck me. Eventually, we switch it up, where he's fucking her from behind, I'm under licking her and his balls and offering a place to empty into or clean up.

Many of my friends in Pennsylvania are having a Super Ball party lol, sadly we won’t be there. I miss seeing my friends and the parties we would have a football weekends, this year some of them did get together and I know a number who got sick after. I’m just too scared to tempt fate, my luck I would get sick and even though we are younger and it might just be nothing serious, we don’t want to find out. We will have our very good friends with us, people we have been with often and possibly another couple. What are you all doing?

I want to watch my wife suck other men’s cock that would be awesome!!

In joining the LS she found out that she likes putting on a show. And she really likes giving blow jobs. The first time in a club we had sex so many times in so many rooms I couldn't walk straight for a week. It really turns her on and I get turned on seeing how hot it gets her. As mentioned above the look on guys faces as they get a back breaking, eyes rolling back in your head blow job...... priceless.?

I don't know about other guys, but I like the way it looks. I think a woman sucking a man looks very sexy... and I can't really appreciate it the same way when the man is me, because the sensations of being blown distract from the visual impact. I love watching the show... which works perfectly for me because my wife loves putting on a show.

So to make a long story short... I let my wife do her own thing sexually so she decides to sleep with all my friends which makes it a little weird for me and I feel like I need new friends because of the awkwardness. Lol anyone been through this before?

If another guy does your wife on a regular basis let's say he's longer and thicker than you & we stay active for 3 months inviting him twice a week where he gets to have 1 on 1 with wife anywhere from 45-60 min's in a Threesome twice a week for 3 months straight. And I have her 3 times a week once me and her and the other would be threesome 2x's a week. My wife knew I was 6⅛" when we started to be intimate but knows I lost some length but she thinks I'm around 5¼-5½" but I'm actually around 4½-4¾" in length. My girth is right at 5". For the New guy he's Right around 7" and girth slightly over 6". After awhile would my wife after 3 months would she not be as tight as before? & will she desire to have him like maybe just once a week just him and her without me and other times a Threesome If this happens this is where I definitely share equal time wit him. Share your thoughts and advice

Hi! If your wife didnt change her mind on your friend, then the next thing to look out for is if she would ask for another get together or he might ask for it. In our situation with common friend, it wasnt a one time swing but it continued beyond that. It all depends if it will work for both of you or if bothers you. For us, there's no problem at all. After our first mfm, he asked my partner if the 3 of us can play again sometime. His standard reply is if I agree to it, then why not. To make the story short, we played many times as mfm and and feelings developed quickly and found ourselves dating and playing separately. Im lucky he was nice and followed my rules to preserve the relationship with my primary partner. All ended well. Just be prepared if it escalates. No worries, if your wife loves you, she will stay.

So everything went well! My friend stayed with us, and on the second night, I proposed that they go into the bedroom for a couple of hours of "alone time", shut the door, and do whatever they wanted. They took me up on it. My wife sucked his cock, he ate her out, they made out, he fingered her....however, he was nervous and not sure about the situation I think so he never got fully hard, so unfortunately they didn't fuck and my wife didn't cum. He ended up jerking himself off next to her while she was touching and making out with him. Also my wife said from what she could tell he had a really small cock, like as small as the smallest guys she has ever been with. However, she did feel very comfortable with him. Honestly, afterwards, I was kinda surprised at how nothing changed between all of us....we literally all got along as if it never happened, no bad or weird feelings whatsoever!

Agreed 100%. True for my wife and even for me as a guy, I don't want to just fuck random women. I want to know her and like her, and that leads to feelings. As I've mentioned before, the wife of one couple and I go to cultural events that my wife and her husband have no interest in, while they screw. The other wife and I will only have quick sex or none at all. Same with us. We have no rules so there's no reason to lie. And we know how much we love one another because we know exactly where we stand. She gives me most of her time, energy and affection freely, not out of pretense or obligation.

First, a big welcome to the board Imnewhere8484! You are definitely in the right place for couples who are curious about swinging, and as you say, not tripping at the starting line. My wife and I would never play with a married person who is playing without permission. We're into swinging to enjoy ourselves, to enjoy each other, and to enjoy the people we have sex with. We would never...ever...want to contribute to the unhappiness of another couple. Just the thought that we are effectively backstabbing the unknowing spouse, is completely repulsive to us. Even if she never found out, it's still 100000000000% wrong. Neither my wife nor I would do it. Think of it this way; she wants this guy because she could vet him for STDs. So, do you trust a guy to tell you he has no STDs when he's willing to stab his own wife in the back? I would never trust such a person, not in a thousand years. You can find decent single guys who are in the swinging world. My wife has found several, and has been fortunate enough to have had long term relationships with two of them. I would recommend finding singles guys on swinglifestyle.com, and filter them well. As in the vanilla dating world, there are going to be some of them that aren't worth the time of day. But, there are some great guys out there to be had, guys whom you can trust. To other points; you're going to have some uneasiness whether it's this guy or another. The first time your wife has sex with another man, even if you're very much looking forward to it, it still going to be a bit of a nervous moment. Kinda like they say...the first is never the best. Same goes for swinging :-) I've watched my wife have sex with a lot of men now, and it was definitely better with subsequent men. It was better for her too, as her own nerves were on edge the first time. And there's a piece of advice for you; don't judge swinging by the first encounter. A lot of what you are saying sounds great. The communication sounds wonderful, and the desire to help her achieve her greatest sexual satisfaction is a wonderful basis on which to take your first steps into this lifestyle. Chances are, she will love having sex with other men as much as you enjoy watching her do so. If you have any other questions or thoughts you want to bounce off of us, feel free. We're a helpful bunch here.

We have one couple that we play with regularly that will take it this far with the guys. My husband is the top and I absolutely love watching him fuck. The other guy is gorgeous, shaved and has a perfect small cock. He prefers to lay on his back so we can watch his cock leaking while my husband takes him. His wife and I play while we watch them and usually climax when we see the cum start to flow from him or if my husband pulls out and ejaculates on him. Super hot and super fun!

My husband has talked about wanting to suck a dick, and my fantasy always goes farther with wanting to watch him get his ass fucked by another guy. He loves ass play though and I enjoy using a strap-on on him. I really just want to let him experience how good it feels to have a real dick in his ass. I love it and I think he would too. Of course it would be so hot to watch him with another guy. Huge turn on, but I can understand if that’s just my fantasy. It’s his decision in the end.

We started with playing with my college friends and their friends. We added my husband’s best friend who has become the person we play the most with. I agree that playing with someone you know and like is much better than finding strangers. We now also play with my best friend.

Thanks for the advice! So I have been thinking about it a lot, and I think like you said we have thought it through for awhile and we are respect each other, and my wife and I love and respect each other very much. There really isn't a way to know for sure how it will all play out, but I think going into it with that is a good thing. Like you said as long as before we get into it, I want to make sure my wife knows I love and respect her very much, and I want to know she feels the same way about me (which she does, just want to hear her say it again)! Lol So far the plan is my buddy will come to town for a weekend, stay at our apartment, "sleep on the couch", and we will all hang out and have fun going out and coming back having some drinks. I have already let them both know I a 100% fine with anything happening, as long as my wife is wanting it to happen. I think that's all I need to do. Now, I just need to shut up about it, and sit back, without pressuring anything to happen, and watch. But if it goes down, I definitely want to be there to see it!

We only have condomless sex with our closest friends, people that we trust for years,in more that 7 years since we started swinging I have only had 3 men penetrated me without a condom that is including my husband. We feel pretty safe compared to many single people living "regular sexual lives"

I really got turned on reading these posts. I have played with three couples seeking straight mfm initially. In all three cases on subsequent play dates they asked if I would mind if the husband orally shared my hard cock with his wife. I really enjoy having my cock sucked and readily agreed. In all three cases after several play dates with extended mm oral foreplay the wife shared her ultimate fantasy was to watch her husband lose his cherry. I have always enjoyed anal & dp's, and agreed to fulfill their fantasy. In all three cases I had the husband get on all fours and orally pleasure his wife while I slowly took his cherry. All three were very submissive and really got turned on. Needless to say I pleasured both husband and wife on all subsequent play dates. Male4ypleasure

If you count myself as one of the men, then the most the wife has had within one night has been three guys (though not at the same time) and that is likely the limit. In asking her this question, she is not into the whole "numbers" and "quick fuck" thing and much rather have a personal session with one man or two that she has gotten to know ahead of time rather then then a multiple "just a dick with no name" slam-fest and it's really not something I'm interested in seeing her in either.

Hey if you are near Cambridge, Maryland...just tossin' it out there! The first time I watched one of my girlfriends give another guy a blowjob was in high school (MANY MANY years ago! LOL) while we were playing truth or dare at a graduation party. At first I was sick to my stomach watching her but after a few minutes he looked at me with a great big grin and said "DAMN! She's good at this!" and that was probably the true beginning of my deviant swinging life and I haven't regretted one minute of it!

I loved 'sharing' my ex-wife and now my current wife, who is just getting into the LS, with other men and for me watching her with another man is just plain out hot as all hell. Watching her suck another mans cock, which is probably more intimate to me than kissing, is very intense. Knowing she is manipulating the sensitive head with her tongue and turning him on and making him probably harder than he's been his entire life makes me proud, hot, horny, and very very turned on!

Put me in the "I like it" column. Did your wife ever give oral sex to your friend. Your post was kind of ambiguous on that part. I love watching my wife sucking on another man's cock. He'll look over at me with the most "goddamn that feels good" look on his face maybe not believing I'm letting my wife do that. At first she was shy about it but the more we did it the more she sucked cock as if she was on a mission to make the guy cum. I was loving her enthusiasm.

I am obsessed wIth the fantasy of my wife doing another guy and or several guys at the same time. I have fantasized about this on occasion over the years while masturbating; now it is the only fantasy that gets me off!! I try to think about other women while masturbating but my fantasy always shifts back to my wife with other men. I think I am obsessed by this because I know my wife wants to be with other men; either a full swap or a MFM with another guy and me. If we ever go through with any of this it might make our sex hotter it I liked it or turn me off if I hate it. Thoughts and reality are never the same.

For a long time my fantasy was a gang bang (involving oral and vaginal sex), I've NEVER used a dental dam for oral sex, and I can't even begin to estimate the number of dicks I've had in my mouth. That said, my first attempt at doing a gangbang I did something similar to what you described. I went online and tried to set up a group of guys. My plan was to meet them in a public place (with my husband at the time) and then go to a hotel room. Of the 6 or so guys I'd lined up 1 showed up. We had a great 3some. From that experience, I learned one thing. It's best to stick with guys you know. I did eventually get my gangbang but all the guys were guys I'd met and was already comfortable with. I'd suggest you follow the same practice in fulfilling your fantasy. Even if it's just a matter of meeting guys one on one for a while until you've met enough to fulfill your fantasy. You said you are active swingers already, perhaps just lining up something at your local swinger club, or even just with guys you already know to make it happen rather than involving a bunch of strangers. It's not any more safe because they are married, but it is more safe if you know them and feel you can trust them rather than just having random guys show up that you know nothing about and have never met. Trust your gut ALWAYS.

Here is my experience with Gangbangs. I frequently have them and really enjoy them. My husband and I travel all over the country and try every swing club we can. We only attend ones that allow single men. My experience is these are usually the only true swing clubs. Couples only clubs are very cliquish, and the people rarely swing. My first experience with a gangbang was in Miami, Florida. My husband was by my side (he is always with me when I swing). I laid down on a doctor’s exam table they had in one of the rooms, put my feet up in the stirrups, and began to play with 2 couples and a few single guys. I began to enjoy the attention the women were giving me and the stroking of the penus inside me so much that I wound up having 14 different men (I had no idea how many men there were: my husband kept track). I had planned to use condoms, but it felt so good that I let them all cum inside me. This experience made me realize how much I enjoy feeling different men inside me. I now enjoy as many men as I can. I encourage any women who have a fantasy of a gangbang to try it. Don’t worry about the number, because it just doesn’t matter – anyone who says different is just being a stuck-up. You’re having fun – that’s what it’s about. Life is too short not to live it.

We have done a MMMF gangbang and were considering expanding the number to 6-10 until we actually saw one. A desperate husband rushing around the club trying to recruit other guys for a birthday gangbang just didn't do it for us. They were in the group room and had a couple of women acting as fluffers. It was like watching badly made porn. She was doing two at a time and it just seemed to be more work than fun. We politely declined the offer to join and decided to limit our number to 3 guys (me and two others).

I get totally aroused when I see my man with another woman. I like to just sit back and watch because he is such a gentleman with the women. I like to see the woman squirming and screaming from him pleasing her. When we first started swinging with couples I thought he was going to be jealous of another man being with me but he wasn't and it made the situation even better.

The idea of my girl with another dude is very exciting, and let me explain why. Part of it is voyerism, and part of it is that I'm very turned on by her enjoying sex. And part is viewing her as a purely sexual object. When you spend the day saying "I love you darling" and such, it can be a little hard to go straight into animal lust.

I always swallow, but then again, I have no problems with it/because of it. I think it's one of the hottest things I can do for my husband. Sometimes, if there's a particularly heavy load, or if really am in exhibitionist mode, I'll let him erupt and lick him up ice cream cone style. I just love watching what that does to him.