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OH! When I saw that the title of this thread is “Fist Time”, I thought it was going in a comPLETEly different direction! 😂

Just like in all walks of life there are many types of people, personalities, opinions and beliefs. They are all reflections of who and what a person is. And the biggest is their own expectations. True, some only use the LS to provide the easy, simple sex with those they are attracted to, quick, no strings attached. They attend the party…the only real participation is to scan the room to select who they want. If there they provide as much interaction and social graces to garnish consent, a room, sexual gratification/conquest for themselves…..and they leave. This is in stark contrast to those who must all but fall in love before accepting an offer of pleasure. then there are all those thousands of variations and mix of personalities that blend and entangle that create the best in the Lifestyle up to and including decades and lifelong friendships that endure even if the sexual participation comes to an end. There is no one key, one path to follow. What path you choose has to work for you. I can advise you to be a people watcher, observe those a the party that are thoroughly having a great time at the party without much alcohol and before any sex play. Those are the ones having the most fun, open conversation spiced with a little flirting and provocative conversation that in the end may or may not lead to some level of sexual play/pleasure. But regardless they are having a great time, the sex at any level if it happens is a wonderful extra, not a necessity to make the night a success. A real win is having a group of close knit friends that you can share everything with and each other and have your number one, your life partner always beside you through it all.

This, all too often, is kind of a standard problem that goes back to the start of time. Guys just want to have sex and how their partner looks, acts, thinks, feel is usually beside the point. Women all too often need to have a connection with someone they have sex with. Probably because of the long taught thought that they might get pregnant, so they should only have sex with someone they 'like'. True or not, this doesn't really matter. What does matter is you feel one way and he the other. What HE needs to understand is that if you don't feel comfortable with what you are doing, you won't want to do is for very long. One of our long surviving rules has always been 'if one of us says no then we both say no...no questions asked, no repercussions'. It doesn't matter why one of us isn't interested in another couple, one of us is not interested so we move on to another couple. The only thing we would add is that you shouldn't spend too much time texting/emailing/communicating before you actually meet another couple (or single). You will always learn more about them in 5 minutes together IRL than you would in an eternity of texts/emails/etc. Once we run across another couple that we are potentially interested in, we schedule a dinner or drinks to meet, with everyone knowing in advance that it is ONLY to meet...not to play. After the initial meeting, everyone can decide if they want to get together again and 'see what may happen'. If anyone isn't interested, then we can all save time and move onto the next couple. Bottom line: He needs to be more understanding to your needs and, maybe, in return, you will end up meeting more potential partners...at least to see if you are interested in having more happen in the future. Good luck and let us know how things go...

The most common reason I get from men is that wives have lost interest in sex and they need an outlet for their needs. It makes me wonder why they don’t discuss the problem with a doctor to find the real reason. Many of us women as they reach an age where sex becomes a problem for physical reasons. I won’t disagree these men are cheaters, they are men that still want to save marriages that are otherwise still loving. Registering on an affairs match site is a discrete way to meet others without trying to pick up a date at a bar.

Men looking for more for the same reason women look for more. The old adage that it takes two to tango, the site that you are on are matching married men with married women. We started with wanting a woman to join us, my wife encouraged me to join and she watched. Watching my wife with a woman was more exciting, the jealous feeling didn’t hit until another man came into the scene.

You understand my feelings on this. I posted many times about my first time with a new lover when I can’t believe I gave him my whole body even though we just met and I never did anything like it before. I am positive that if my husband was with us that night the experience would not have been the same. All these years later I wonder why I was able to go alone with a man we just met. We aren’t big swingers, we don’t go looking for others, we have played with a very limited number of others. Group sex is even more limited, the number of times I watched or even been in the same room as my husband playing with another woman even more limited. Like you I do have jealous feelings watching him and a sense of pride when I see him satisfy a partner. I love the feeling of being with the right man, I’m not addicted to it.

Many swingers don’t understand that being alone with a sexual partner is one of most pleasurable activities for me. It is difficult for me to fully enjoy my partner if anyone including my husband is watching. Watching him with a woman has become a bit easier, not something I find myself needing to do.

We are vaxxed as part of vaccination protocol. Also Covid and Flu vaxxed. Maybe stupid vax should be developed because we always go bareback. Anyone say Cum Bucket.

A lot of women and some men that swing claim to be bisexual. The question is how bisexual are they. My wife is very bi she could love a man or a women on the same level. Her bisexuality is not only for the purpose of having sex with another women. Given the hypothetical situation of me not being in the picture she could be happy with a man or a women for her next partner. Me on the other hand call myself a situational bisexual, for lack of a better term. Men do not turn me on, but my wife's enthusiasm to see two men having oral sex does turn me on. I have been known to receive the oral pleasure (from a man) and the reaction from my wife really gets me off. So the question is how bisexual are you? Is it just for sex, could it be more emotional, or is it for the people around you to enjoy?

When one reads this sort of article on CNN https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/best-nude-beaches-world/index.html It's pretty clear that nude recreation has become mainstream.

Perhaps. But...it's not the only outlet https://www.nytimes.com/2023/03/22/magazine/playa-zipolite-nude-beach-mexico.html https://www.foxnews.com/travel/best-nude-beaches-in-the-world https://www.foxnews.com/video/6322223567112 https://www.travelawaits.com/2668578/reasons-to-try-nude-vacation/ etc etc There are of course the political positioning in these reports, but no one is saying that it's unusual anymore.

People have different opinions. Men are from Venus, women are from Mars or something like that. Some of our swing partners became friends. Some were only swing partners. We have really held off from swinging since covid, but not only because of covid. We notice that those swingers more enthusiastic about sex have not maintained contact with us. Those who are more casual swingers remain friends.

As mentioned above, we don't generally shy away from bareback friendly swingers and will engage ourselves when the vibe is right, but A scenario that just popped into my mind was a sketchy couple on SLS that recently reached out with a page strongly emphasizing bareback only who invited us to their private creampie gangbangs adding emphasis to the fact condoms were not allowed, before even given their names (or initials for that matter!). We love natural sex as much as the next couple, but there's 'calculated risk' and then there is just straight up reckless. This did not receive a reply from us...

OR...CNN is trying desperately to get it's ratings up.

Our first play was with friends and they gave us the option as we did have fears of their activities. We opted to no condoms, Debbie made the call. Debbie told me she has no problem with condoms because for her there isn’t a major difference. The one thing she won’t do is give a blowjob to a condom.

Bareback is our strong preference, but we're generally pretty careful who we indulge with. We have a handful of couples and a couple singles where condoms aren't even a thought in our play. These are people we're friends with, travel with, spend time in each others homes, etc.--not just hookups. We also have a couple we're about 50/50 with. We all prefer raw and they will only do it with us, but whether we play gloved or not for a particular session comes down to the mood of the other female half. She's become the group shot caller, lol. We also had a recent experience with a "low mileage" couple who were with us for their first full swap. Under the circumstances we felt pretty good about their history (lack) communication and we had ourselves an au natural, good time. Aside from these situations, we generally use condoms.

Swinging is especially important after you have kids and are older. It will keep you interested in one another and in life in general. I couldn't imagine my wife being as happy as she is without the opportunity to get some elsewhere. Think of the things you haven't done and wanted to. Don't let life pass you by.

It is in our nature to be nonmonogamous. We are expected by society to deny it and do so for so long that when we have sex with another partner it seems at first unusual. I am both satisfied with their mutual satisfaction and jealous. My addiction is to my jealousy and the crazy things it makes me want to do afterwards (eat her out, suck and fuck him).

Very true. One can let loose and not be distracted. Even after all this time I still am wildly jealous. But I love the feeling, I am addicted.

I think you're over thinking it :) Certainly kids affect our lives, no matter how much we say they won't. But, having kids has never been much of an impediment to us in the lifestyle. We started in the lifestyle after we'd had our kids and they were still young. Quite young. The only way in which it really affected things for us was when my wife got her first regular boyfriend. We didn't always have babysitters, especially on shorter notice, so she played solo with him a lot. We did a lot of MFMs too, but that was more planned out. So, one way this could work for you all is being baby sitters for each other; one of you watches the kids while the other three play. Also, getting a babysitter to cover your kids together might be easier too.

I got a call from the widower this morning asking if I would meet him again tonight. Saturday night I with Michael with me told him I didn’t want a long term relationship with him, that I would be with him just that one time and that the reason I was on AM was just for that reason, nothing long term. He understood my reasoning, his joining that site was for the same reason, no long term complicated troubles. I have nothing negative to report on my time with him, quite the opposite it was a lovely time, almost perfect. I told him the only way I would meet again is if Michael can watch, they already met Saturday with just a checking out time. I assured him Michael is straight and not weird, he just likes to watch or if everyone agrees he will join.

With the start of COVID a few years ago, some of our close friends had serious problems with HPV (LEEP, Freeze, etc. treatments). This was really hard on a couple of the marriages We lucked out, but then I had Gardasil Vaccine years ago....when it first came out. Since COVID we are only watch and be watched, not even soft swing or touching! We have been paying for checkups every 6 months and are fine and will be going back to annual checkups soon. ... But then too, we also both recently completed Gardasil 9 vaccinations for some Squamous cell skin cancer issues at our dermatologist suggestion (not covered by insurance for old people, LOL. We are darn careful. Julie and Robb

Yes we are both HPV vaxxed. and honestly all of our at-home play these days is mfm so there isn't the need to check the ladies. All our couples-swap activity is restricted to the very few times a year we attend a club or event and we do use condoms for such occasions.

we had a man join us this weekend. He was openly bisexual and asked if he could join us after chatting at the nude pool all afternoon. He wanted to please both of us so he went down on me while I rode my husbands cock. His oral skills were amazing and had me cumming repeatedly. In return he wanted my husband to himself for a bit. Watching him suck my husbands cock was one of the hottest things I have seen. He wanted more so I watched my husband fuck him. I masturbated hard and had an incredible orgasm with my husband as he pulled out and ejaculated all over him. His cock was perfect so I asked him to finish i me. I offered up my pussy to him. It only took a few strokes and his huge cock emptied inside me. I guess we are hedonists - we don’t get hung up on labels and are all about the pleasure. Fortunately we have friends that are into the same with no judgement or weirdness.

If you are bisexual, it doubles your chance of getting a date. Sounds like a hot scene.

Maybe he just had erectile problems if neither of you got him hard. I would think most male recipients of oral sex will achieve an erection whether a man or woman is blowing them, unless they have an E.D.problem.

Njbm... yes only some oral . That was enjoyed by us all . It was far better than I’d ever imagined it to be . Knowing my babe was watching ramped up the excitement ?

Our first and second events were with the same guy. First time he never got hard, even when he came. Second time he promised it was a one time thing and it won't happen again. Second time he never got hard, even when he came. We did what we could, passed his limp dick between us. So the buildup was awesome but the event was less than meh. We did learn important rules, no second chances, and verify the guy is bi. Come to find out, most aren't.

We are hesitant to play with people who play bareback. They are higher risk for HPV and HSV although all Swingers are high risk for STDs. I am also concerned that bi males are exposed to more STDs. I am not bi, but we've played with bi guys who play straight. No prejudice against anyone's preferences.

Much like M1F2KTJ above, we only play bareback and say so ahead of time. Amy can not get pregnant (congenital) and I have a vasectomy. She loves a bare cock cumming in any hole and relishes having semen in her body. In a little twist from other stories here, we/she has been put off when a guy starts to use a condom despite our clear communication and prior agreement to the contrary. We call it quits at that point for the lie and wasting our time and money (room, gas). We have attended house parties in which no one used or mentioned condoms :-)

A couple that plays bareback would be a strong NO with us. Of course, we would have no way of telling unless they mentioned it, so I'm sure it's already been done.

Agreed. It's one (or maybe two) for the minus column when doing the imaginary arithmetic of sizing up a couple.

How hot are they? That may sound trite but there is something honest in it too. Every profile has pluses and minuses. Bareback play is a minus but if they don't insist on it, it is not a deal breaker, just a minus. If enough pluses add up we MIGHT play. Honestly this hasn't come up for us, maybe it is just the group we hang out with has had condoms drummed into their head since they were a young teen for so long it is like seatbelt laws. When they came out my uncles who were in their 20-30's bitched and moaned about it for a long long time. I personally can't be comfortable in a car without a seatbelt on.

You know, we've thought about this for a long time. We don't play all that often, but either way is fine for us. The male isn't allowed to cum in the mrs, and I won't in the female partner. Mrs prefers the male to cum ON her and that is discussed prior to play. Also, mrs fun is a prolific squirter and will soak the bed, couch or whatever area we are playing on. Condoms or not, fluids are going to be exchanged one way or the other. Now with the "unknown" person or persons, condoms are a MUST since trusting someone not to cum in the mrs isn't worth the risk.