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🤣😅😂 Certainly changes your perspective, doesn't it? I wouldn't "fear" so much as recognize that getting into swinging is like regular dating. When you go out on a first date, there's always concerns one should have about how safe the person is, whether they'll be rational, or maybe they've got issues of some kind. Ok it's uncommon for that to be the case, but we worry all the same. It's no different with swinging in that regard, except that you have a wingman to keep you safe. As for expectations; I've only once encountered a swinging situation where I felt put upon to do something I wasn't comfortable with. That was an MFM situation where the guy in question wanted to go bareback with my wife. We said no, things continued ahead with a condom. My wife went bareback with her two boyfriends after playing with them several times, but that was our choice to ask, and they didn't do the asking. I think you'll find the same; nobody's going to layer expectations on you to do anything you're not ready for. If they do, it's perhaps time to exit the scenario. My wife and I had a number of rules when we got into swinging; no this, no that, yes this but only if that, etc. etc. etc. All of it has melted away with the exception of two rules; condoms always with non-regular partners, and the rule we call the "golden parachute". If for any reason either of us thinks it's time to leave, we voice it to the other, get dressed, and leave without discussion or debate. We'll discuss it after we leave. It's an empowerment rule; both of us are in control of us...the team...at all times. We're in this to have fun together, and if one of us isn't for some reason, then we leave. We've never had to invoke the parachute, but it's a comfort knowing it's there all the same. I think most swingers understand that being pushy or trying to make things happen is not the way to do things. That's not to say swingers are all great people. There are some who are not so good, just as with regular dating. But, I think most understand and respect borders.

We started out with the two of us and a single unicorn female before moving on to swapping with couples and giving single men a chance! After all these years we have been talking recently about what if anything we still want from this lifestyle. It is looking like swapping and other men all together are probably going to be taken off the plate by her choice. It seems we might just be all but leaving the lifestyle except if a unicorn happens to pop up again or a couple with a bi wife that is only looking for the girls playing with each other does. Guys including many married men from couples have just been a big let down for her far too often. She is more than happy with me being the only guy from now on. I also could really care less about fucking other women. I just end up wanting her more.

Unfortunately we didn’t ask for contact info, we do know their name and approximately where they live. You are correct we weren’t ready to do anything sexually with them at the time, it gave us the time to discuss what what it may be like in a rational way. Reading posts like this one has given us ideas while some posts have given us fears of what some expect or do with other swingers. I find myself looking at jewelry on people now and will never look at pineapple prints the same way.

This, all too often, is kind of a standard problem that goes back to the start of time. Guys just want to have sex and how their partner looks, acts, thinks, feel is usually beside the point. Women all too often need to have a connection with someone they have sex with. Probably because of the long taught thought that they might get pregnant, so they should only have sex with someone they 'like'. True or not, this doesn't really matter. What does matter is you feel one way and he the other. What HE needs to understand is that if you don't feel comfortable with what you are doing, you won't want to do is for very long. One of our long surviving rules has always been 'if one of us says no then we both say no...no questions asked, no repercussions'. It doesn't matter why one of us isn't interested in another couple, one of us is not interested so we move on to another couple. The only thing we would add is that you shouldn't spend too much time texting/emailing/communicating before you actually meet another couple (or single). You will always learn more about them in 5 minutes together IRL than you would in an eternity of texts/emails/etc. Once we run across another couple that we are potentially interested in, we schedule a dinner or drinks to meet, with everyone knowing in advance that it is ONLY to meet...not to play. After the initial meeting, everyone can decide if they want to get together again and 'see what may happen'. If anyone isn't interested, then we can all save time and move onto the next couple. Bottom line: He needs to be more understanding to your needs and, maybe, in return, you will end up meeting more potential partners...at least to see if you are interested in having more happen in the future. Good luck and let us know how things go...

Just like in all walks of life there are many types of people, personalities, opinions and beliefs. They are all reflections of who and what a person is. And the biggest is their own expectations. True, some only use the LS to provide the easy, simple sex with those they are attracted to, quick, no strings attached. They attend the party…the only real participation is to scan the room to select who they want. If there they provide as much interaction and social graces to garnish consent, a room, sexual gratification/conquest for themselves…..and they leave. This is in stark contrast to those who must all but fall in love before accepting an offer of pleasure. then there are all those thousands of variations and mix of personalities that blend and entangle that create the best in the Lifestyle up to and including decades and lifelong friendships that endure even if the sexual participation comes to an end. There is no one key, one path to follow. What path you choose has to work for you. I can advise you to be a people watcher, observe those a the party that are thoroughly having a great time at the party without much alcohol and before any sex play. Those are the ones having the most fun, open conversation spiced with a little flirting and provocative conversation that in the end may or may not lead to some level of sexual play/pleasure. But regardless they are having a great time, the sex at any level if it happens is a wonderful extra, not a necessity to make the night a success. A real win is having a group of close knit friends that you can share everything with and each other and have your number one, your life partner always beside you through it all.

The first time she would push me away, it would have been over for the both of us as a couple. That was beyond rude and insensitive of the wife.

The first time I tasted a cock I was amazed at how different it felt than I imagined it would. It was fun, interesting, but most of all, it was powerfully sexual. Male sexual. There was the same pleasure giving sexual, just as when you go down on a woman and she has an orgasm, the same feeling of the pleasure of giving pleasure. Yet different in that it was familiar. I knew exactly what it felt like to have my cock sucked, and now I was sucking one. Perhaps because of that I was more in tune with what it was feeling to him. The simple feel of it was amazing, hard yet velvety soft, pulsating, a hard, throbbing energy rather than the softer, wetter feeling of a woman. Tasting my first male orgasm was as amazing. I could feel the same spurts I've ejaculated into mouths ejaculating into my mouth. The sexual energy is intense. I found it far more sexual than I imagined. I don't find men attractive in the all encompassing way I find women. But oral sex with a man, especially in a three or foursome, is very powerful sexually. The women in my experience simply love watching and being a part of it. I can't imagine going through life without experiencing this.

Please please please if you put up a profile anywhere use this same screenname so we know who to avoid! In my two years in the lifestyle, I have experienced a few times where the male half had anxiety or performance issues. It's not uncommon and it's not a big deal. You can't take it personally. And to make a big deal about it is not nice and certainly not a good way to treat "friends". And god forbid I'm ever in a situation where some guy decides to punch my husband in the head while we are in the middle of a good time simply because his gf decided my husband was rejecting her. I can guarantee that that would not end well. While I agree with the poster who said that trying again with this couple is drama, I also think that the OP is pretty high up on the drama scale as well. I can't understand why someone would take an issue in a play session so personally. My take on the situation is that while you are angry at their seeming selfishness, you and your gf have displayed quite a bit of selfishness and immaturity. I think you need to do a good bit of introspection on this one.

My gf and I have always wanted to play with another man, finally it happened! We met a guy on SLS and I finally got to give him head while my girlfriend watched. What an incredible sexual feeling and what a great fuck that followed. Guys you don't know what your missing if you haven't emptied a cock in your mouth!