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Yes,I'll admit to a little guy/guy play. Always in the context of an MFM or orgy situation. I never would have thought of it before we opened our marriage. When you choose to move away from a lifetime of monogamous perspective, lots of things become interesting and acceptable that you felt was taboo before, imo.

A man gets a much better deal with a used pussy than a woman does getting a spent dick. A woman's got to work to get him back up, it's not as stiff, he has trouble getting it off a second time, and not much comes out. OTOH, a woman is always immediately ready to go another round and orgasm. Well said. Being in the lifestyle, even in my little poly family way, did and does the same for me.

No matter how spent I am from fucking all evening, when my wife is carrying someone else creampie, the second wind kicks in. I haven't tasted one yet (the desire is there but I haven't wanted to weird out the depositor), but the desire to insert myself into her mess is strong.

I suppose I'll admit to this one. Before the LS I wasn't interested in MM activity at all and was largely put off by it. Then during our second swing experience I remember watching my wife going down on the other husband and wondering about it quite a bit and being curious to try. Since then it has happened and I've had opportunities to explore with other men, so I guess the answer in my case is yes--I changed as my horizons broadened.

IRL does anyone else look at others at wonder if they are swingers? We are now playing a game where I see a man and ask my husband what does he think, he looks at the woman and gives a thumbs up or down. My husband never has a problem talking to strangers, I’m usually quiet and tell him he’s never going to meet swingers with random conversation. Reading comments on here we understand that talking before doing anything is very important and all the talk we are having is fun fantasy talk. He asked me if we picked someone up what would be the first thing I would do with him, I ask him what he would do with her. The real question he asked me was how would I feel watching him do what he said to another woman. Made me think 🤔

Unsure or afraid. How can we find a true connection by looking at profiles when it seems so unnatural and then I remember the duds I met on dating sites when I was single. Most guys overstate or brag, I know I picked a picture to post that showed me much more glamorous, my mother’s words at the time. I was uncomfortable the times I had dates from the app, you try to meet with an open mind then instinct takes over. I don’t think either of us are ready for a club, the picture in my mind is most likely not reality or is it? We read the post about meeting a couple on vacation that at first read was perfect, with deeper reading I notice the imperfections that occurred. I don’t know how I will react the first time and what would I do if the other woman took more control. I wonder who wrote monogamy is the normal way to live or is it just hypocrites lying to the world. We won’t be condemned to a place of fire for eternity, if we are there will be many religious pious preachers joining us. We are trying to find that comfortable spot, both of us realize we had a chance that came naturally, a way life is supposed to work, then we slammed the door of opportunity. I was taught opportunity will knock again and to be aware of that opportunity when it comes.

Communication and trust is the enemy of jealousy. I was an extremely jealous person and found that good communication 'cures' jealousy.

Like many of the other people on here, we started off quite slowly. After being monogamous for twenty years, I started writing erotic stories as a hobby. I showed my wife my work, she enjoyed it. This led into discussions about the lovers we had before we were married, and our fantasies. The process went in fits and starts; sometimes we’d have a long weekend where we’d talk of little else, or the topic might be completely dropped for a couple of months. It took us three years before we decided to go to a swing club, and a week after that we both lost our Lifestyle cherry. The wait was worth it. By the time we jumped, we both knew what we wanted, what the other desired. There was no *extreme* surprises, neither of us became jealous or concerned. Use the obvious conclusion: If either of you is unsure of anything, don’t do it! When you’re comfortable, when you’re ready, you’ll both know it. Have fun in the journey.

Not sure if we are up to that point of making contact on a dating site, looking at profiles is interesting. It’s interesting that we are even having discussions about this, discussing and having fun. We look as unpaid lookers, not seeing total stories attached to profiles we wonder how many are fakes, the majority we saw we have to attraction to due to age, location or admittedly appearance. I read your story and think that it could have been us if we just said yes to the invitation of joining them. It made me think if I could do what you did, alone with a stranger for sex, probably not because we said no. I hope the when or if we do take the next step that we have the same feelings you have now from a positive meeting. That is where we are now, talking fantasies, I know some of his past, he knows mine, both of us have nothing exciting or earth shattering to hide. He has met my old boyfriends, I met some of his former girlfriends. That scares me, how will I react? I’m a jealous person.

So many memories, good and not great ones. I try to remember that first night as a great night that lead to more fun and memorable times. I also try to erase the uncomfortable times that is all part of mostly positive change in our life. It’s many years now from when I saw my husband with the woman he slept with, naked in what was my bed. Even if my night was great I still had that jealous feeling of seeing her. My husband assured me he was thrilled that I had a good night. He asked me more, I didn’t ask him much. Our next day play has bothered me for years, even if I try to play it off. I had been the brunt of some jokes the times we met them later on. My husband enjoyed watching at my expense me having sex or a man having sex with me, totally different from the man I was with the night before. He enjoyed watching me be uncomfortable having a woman rubbing on my mouth for my first time, enjoyed being in a woman who orally made me orgasm when I didn’t want to. I still wish that next day didn’t happen the way it did, a day we no longer talk about, and now a day that changed me for what I like to say for the better. Better because it prepared me for things we eventually did together and alone.

We jumped in one toe at a time. It started by us talking about our past sexual experiences (interesting and sexy as well) and moved on to talking about our fantasies. as trust built, we just kept talking and asked if we wanted to try and make some of the fantasies come true. We kept talking and developed our own rules, limits and boundaries, even though we were both 'nervous' (for lack of a better word) as to what it could cause to our relationship. More talk and we set up a profile on SLS and started meeting people for dinners, just to see if there was any interest. There were LOTS of dinners that went nowhere other than a fun night out with another couple and some sexy talks as we exchanged experiences and the like. Eventually, we met another couple that we 'clicked' with and we started 'dating' them. We all talked and set common rules and modified them as we found them unnecessary (or just silly...we started with the 'no kissing' rule that didn't last very long) Next came same room sex, then soft swaps, then vacations, concerts, weekends, etc together. It has been an amazing experience! Nothing like having another couple that you are best friends with...AND you can get naked with. You don't need to jump into the deep end. You can just wade into the water and get used to the temperature. If it gets too cold, you can just as easily get back out. One rule that we have always had was if wither of us wanted to stop, we both would stop...never looking back, never asking questions. Since this is more than either of us thought we would experience, we are SO FAR ahead of the game and so much closer than we ever could imagine that it would be okay to just stop (but that hasn't happened...it might some day, but not yet). The only 'sad' thing is that the other couple that we had been dating for so many years finally had to move further away. Now instead of being able to get together as much as we liked, it's become a once every several months thing, but sometimes life intervenes. Just remember to always keep talking and don't rush things...you have your entire lives ahead so enjoy the trip as much as the destination. Good luck with whatever you decide and let us know how you are doing no matter what it is.

ExploringOptions, welcome! You're in the right place! This is a helpful bunch of people, and we'll be happy to answer your questions. I'm glad you didn't act on the possibility of playing with that other couple before you and your husband had really talked this out. That would have been a big, big mistake! One thing you sort of naturally are already doing that is important in the swinger world; don't change rules mid-stream. I.e., know where the limits are before going into a potential play situation and stick to those limits until you've had chance to talk more. So, without even thinking of it you're already doing well To your questions; For my wife and I, we began exploring the concept of swinging some six years into our marriage. I'd been briefly involved in a triad (husband, wife, me) before meeting my wife. She'd previously noted that she couldn't accept the idea this wife had gone against her marital vows. I never thought we would get into swinging, nor did I even think about it. I was fine with that. Fast forward to being married six years and my wife mentions it would be cool to have two men massaging her (she looooves massage) at the same time. That tiny little spark started a months long discussion, with lots of time spent digging around on the net trying to find answers, and getting a lot of them here. We talked thinks over, thought of potential scenarios, re-talked over points we'd previously talked over, etc. etc. etc. We too developed the same thing you two have; looking at other people and saying "She's/He's a yes!" It's fun to do As we talked more, the "She's/He's a yes!" started becoming more real in our minds. After months of this, we finally figured we'd talked as much as we could about it, and felt nervously comfortable with the idea of trying it. We figured we'd try a few times and see how it was. If it kept on being "blah" then we'd give it up. Our first forays were set up by going to a swinger club and also signing up at swinglifestyle.com (SLS). Through the club, we soft-swapped with a couple, which was a good ice breaker for us. We had an enjoyable evening. From there we moved onto meeting up with single guys for MFMs via SLS. The first couple of times we did this, my wife had an ok time, but not great. Just kinda..."eh". But, the third time...wow! I mean WOW! My wife absolutely LOOOVED having sex with the guy and could not get enough. After we left, she said with a big grin on her face, "Ok, NOW I'm a swinger!" Having these MFMs felt a bit awkward at first. You don't grow up thinking about having sex as a threesome! But it all worked out well. We all know what to do, it's just having a third involved too The very first time, I helped undress my wife for the gentleman while he was kissing her and moving his hands over her body. Things progressed from there. Feel free to ask us anything!

Years ago on a vacation cruise we ran into a situation like yours, meeting a good looking fit couple that we went to an island beach with. The difference was the beach was clothing optional, a thing my husband and I discussed beforehand knowing we would never see these people again. It’s funny how something that we wouldn’t do at a beach close to home we now did with a few couples we just met. If you are like me you spent days shopping before your vacation looking for that perfect bathing suit that hid what you wanted to hide and made you feel sexy. So here I was exposing my self with nothing covering up flaws to strangers. Sure none of us are perfect but in our small group no one was too bad. That night with a little too much alcohol, I’ll always blame the alcohol, we and one of our new friends decided to swap spouses. I still joke they got me drunk to convince me, I know it’s my excuse if it went wrong. I went to his cabin, she went with my husband to our cabin. Being naked to a man on a beach is not the same as him undressing you to have sex, for me it came easier. Alcohol ease? Alone with him it went easy without much thought. As many times as I have repeated this first time I’m amazed how I enjoyed the night and how I enjoy reliving it each time I tell the story. What I thought was a one time with a stranger has become a years long more than friendship. People say the first time is the hardest, I say the first time was the best of many great times.

Adding to what Numex said: Something that most couples have happen way too often is once they have kids they slip into the 'mom' and 'dad' role and forget that they used to be very sexual people. The kids eventually leave and then what does mom and dad do...somehow they need to get back to being lovers and just enjoying being together. Doesn't matter how they do this...it might be swinging, or porn, or exhibitionism, or whatever, but all too often, they forget that they need to get back to being lovers. Otherwise, they all too often look in the wrong places to find new lovers...

A lot of relationships break down for various reasons, and hotwife/cuckold relationships aren't any different.

I disagree - there are many couples out there that have a successful hotwife lifestyle. Go to ourhotwives (dot) org to explore their stories.