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If you can't afford to pay the few dollars it costs to join most websites, you may not be able to afford swinging...just sayin'

Helen here and all our swinging is totally bare back both at clubs and in our group

Just don't think about getting one of the biggest invoices you've ever had.

One month will give you a taste of what's out there, but I think you'll need 3 or 4 months minimum for a shot at success.

We STRONGLY recommend that you don't ever play with people who aren't already in the L/S. You need to have the mindset that sex isn't love and love isn't sex and all too often, 'vanilla' friends don't understand this. They can't keep the two separated and that leads to problems. How do we know? Ms. Gold and her ex tried swinging to save their failing marriage and decided to hook up with their close friends. A hot tub, some alcohol, and the swim suits came off and...pretty soon the other couples husband was offering to leave his wife for Ms. Gold. Only problem was that Ms. Gold wasn't interested in having a relationship with him, especially since he was married to one of her best friends. The wife quickly found out his plan and that was the end of the friendship and seriously damaged the other couples relationship...but that wasn't the end. All of the juicy details came out as to what they were all doing to their other friends and family leading to many awkward meetings. Lets just say it wasn't pretty and more than just embarrassing for everyone. Most swingers don't want to be found out by their vanilla friends...why would you invite a vanilla friend to find out. Also, just because he may joke and ask about something (that he most likely thinks will never happen), doesn't mean that he would actually be interested in it if he was given the opportunity. Best to keep the two worlds separate and not take the risk...

Having fun and having serious conversations is all part of life. We were with our new friends when the talk turned to medical exams with the ladies talking about mammograms and pelvic exams and the men saying things about hernia checks. One of the guys brought up prostate exams which I remember my father would joke about with his friends when I was younger. At the time I had no clue to dropping your underwear and bending over for a doctor. The women asked if I thought it was easy putting legs in stirrups to be explored. Conversations opened up about prostate exploitation and how it isn’t bad. I could tell some of the guys were opening up to the joy of prostate. These are new friends of ours that have opened some new sexual situations for Lin and me. Linda had anal sex with more than one of the men, double penetration, women always my focus. I wasn’t going to allow any of the men explore me like that, no apologies from me. I heard PJ drop your drawers from one of the women. Butt play for me was fun, not deep exploration. Now clothes off I’m told bend over, a wet wipe I guessed for hygiene then a tongue exploring. Everyone watching and laughing as I was very hard and trying to act naturally a second friend decided to help. Ready for the exam? I’ve had a finger in me before, not deep, now I felt a deeper probe and heard bigger laughs. Then she hit it and started rubbing, I didn’t know how to react. Then a mouth taking my cock in and the massage in my butt. It wasn’t the sexiest setting, people watching and cheering. She called it milking and I have now had my first prostate exam. I’m thinking my dad’s exams weren’t quite the same.

After registering on Ashley Madison we continued to check on our other profile which had a message left for us by someone we know. We never saw their profile in our searches so were surprised and frightened to see their profile picture when we clicked. We know them on what we would label a Hi, how are you basis. They are usually with others when we see them in a few local bars and now we were searching for those friends profiles. Mike and I responded in a very funny way, What are you doing here? We only thought of them as very vanilla socially active friendly, not lifestylers. Their response was a cell number so Mike called. Some very funny laughing conversation with a meeting set, we met them without their crowd of friends. Our conversation started with us telling them some of our history and them sharing theirs. I asked about which of their friends play but they were silent. That was a plus for us.

Good point. Plus, if you are currently single, you may want to date and find someone who is also looking for a partner and wants to go on this adventure together. It seems that nearly all people here that are already in the lifestyle are paired up. Those who aren't and are successful, are women. Just be upfront with a date that you are looking for a relationship that is non-monogamous in some way.

The lifetime-of-the-site membership is only about $150. Swinging is not unlike the vanilla dating scene. You have to pay to play. Maybe you need another job.

One pragmatic approach is to shift your swing/LS arrangement into an open relationship-ish. Let your wife flirt with your friend on her own, without your involvement. This is less scary for vanilla people. If he shows interest, then let the wife explain that she is in an open relationship with you so she is free to date with anyone. If the friend confirms first with you and ask your permission, then you have a true friend with benefits for life! However, if he doesn't... and turned out to be a go-getter, then don't feel cheated or betrayed or end the friendship. Remember, you all got what you wanted. She is satisfied. You are, as well as your friend. Your wife has identified herself as a free agent in an open relationship and she got the experience. Don't bitch about it! And continue being friends 🙂 (Of course, make sure your relationship is mature and secure before trying this, as feelings can easily develop)

Or if you do post dick pics, don't send them out unasked for.

Helen here and god yes there is no point being in the lifestyle if you cannot enjoy DP

I'd second this. In addition to being able to cut ties, vanilla people aren't wired like LSers and the opportunity for developing feelings, hurting feelings, harming relationships and getting consequences other than what you want (a hot and sexy experience) increase exponentially.

If they’re close enough, meet ‘em for drinks and dinner. If you hit off, you’ll get to play with a younger couple. If you don’t hit it off, you’ll still get drinks and dinner. 😉

We really need to answer "Gomez and Morticia Addams". From the old TV series. The chemistry those two have for each other just burns off the screen!

My wife is a big fan of strap-on play, both fucking and getting fucked by other women. It's been brought up in a roundabout way a couple times when chatting with other LSers, that she should try pegging me and I did my best to indicate I'd be "receptive" but it sort of got dismissed along the lines of her having to be 'really drunk' to try that... I should find a way to work back to that topic...

The relationship that I have with my husband (and the rest of our poly family) is balanced and perfect, including the sex. But even though I am perfectly happy with the sex that I have with my husband doesn't mean that I/we can't enjoy sex and relationships with others. The one thing that is imbalanced in our poly family is that two men have a difficult time satisfying three women. When it was just me and my two guys in the beginning in our early twenties, I had to try hard to keep them both satisfied but really enjoyed it and it gave me a sense of power and accomplishment. As Clair and Lora joined us and we got into our thirties, while we women ramped up the men slowed down, especially in the repeat performance department. That's why we women share a boyfriend Frank, a married man one of us will occasionally hit up with his wife's Becky's permission. She suffers from a condition that causes depression when she is sexually aroused. Usually it happens to people post orgasm, but she gets it just getting excited but would press on. Clair met her at our kids' school and a mutually satisfactory arrangement was made, which has been going on for several years now. Becky has been in treatment, both medical and psychological, and she has made good progress, which however, means that our arrangement is coming to an end. Two reasons - Becky had sometimes been around when activities were taking place, and sometimes that included David or Red from our poly family. Even early on Becky occasionally got involved getting naked in front of, giving blowjobs to, or letting her be touched by, our guys. Although Frank was fucking us, he didn't particularly like his wife getting sexual with other men, especially in front of him. But she pushed back. As she recovered with her meds and counselling, she began to enjoy sex without the blue feelings and took it further, having screwed David and Red. She particularly likes Red. Frank lets her do it, but he doesn't want to be around when it happens or even hear about it, before or afterwards. Second reason it is ending is that Becky and Frank want to have another child. So the plan is in the next few months she's going off birth control and they will be trying for another kid. Anyway, sorry for the previous paragraph going into all of that, but I just want to endorse the idea that a married woman, perfectly satisfied in her marriage both sexually and otherwise, can need and easily handle multiple men outside her marriage. Men should accept that, especially in these days of birth control where the husband doesn't need to worry about providing resources to provide for another man's spawn. Men should acknowledge that a woman with a lover or two on the side can still give him all the satisfaction that he wants, while if he has another woman going he cannot usually come home and give his wife two quality rounds afterwards. Assez.

Personally I love fucking other men as well as taking it from them too

Talk with your wife first, but I would say sure, that's what friends are for. It's good to have someone who you can trust. He'll become an even better friend.

When we made our first online profile we quickly discovered a couple we know who live just a block away. They are the types who put their faces right on their public profile (we don't). In the interest of fairness we reached out and said "Hi" although never played with them bc they're not our type. We are friends now and they are a valuable source of local swing-scene info and gossip 😀

Yes with his expressed permission beforehand.

This is one of our favorite activities. Yes, the other guy plowing her needs to be ok with m/m oral contact. Probably not as popular here but we enjoy bareback play. That leads to very exciting cleanup.

That's been a powerful fantasy for me, to lick and suck a girl as she is getting laid, from whatever direction. Of course the guy's cock would invariably slip out and I would hold it against her clit with my mouth... We've done that with some very realistic toys and it's so hot!

My wife and i were playing with another couple. The other wife asked us if I would eat her, while she was getting fucked reverse cowgirl, by her husband. I aim to please. My wife gave permission but said that they'd have to reciprocate. It was a huge turn-on for the lady, fulfilled a fantasy and fun for all.

Great point! Both people in the couple should look at the message and profile together before deciding if it is someone they are both interested in. More than a little sure many guys specifically jump the gun before even consulting their wife to see if she is interested as well. Then a bunch of time is wasted chatting only for her to finally come along and say not interested at all. In most couples the woman is going to be the one who is more selective, because they can be with the hoards of men throwing themselves at them. As I like to say the pussy has the power in this lifestyle. God knows that pisses off all the alpha dom men out there.

I’m a little perplexed, why do you look to have sex with others if you have the perfect balance at home. You married for sex and you are happy with the sex you have with your husband. I’m missing your points on people being lazy and animal kingdom. You married to have sex with your husband for the rest of your life so what’s your problem with others looking for more than that?