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There is a question why you only swing in the same room as your partner that had me thinking how many of us enjoy playing in separate rooms. I have posted many times, too many times, that our first swap was in separate cabins on a cruise that took away any possibility of jealousy and gave the ability of enjoying the night. The next day the play continued to same room play which almost killed any chance that I would do that again. Some take exception to me saying we make love when alone and have sex when in a group. Alone I make an emotional connection with a partner that continues well after the sex act is completed. Spending a night or just hours without anyone watching us enjoy lets me feel rewarded while others watching keeps me from relaxing and soak up the moment. That connection has expanded into being with others alone not just that first one. Men act differently when they are alone with me and taking their time pleasing and being pleased. My observation is men in a group have something to prove even if it’s just me thinking that. In the years since our first we have had a number of other partners, thinking less than most who post on here. I have been in threesomes with my husband, both MFM and FFM, and the same with other men. The most surprising night was spent alone with another woman, something that took a lot of convincing for me to do. Being alone with her was so different from being watched by others. I surprised myself how uninhibited I was and how I allowed myself to truly explore my feelings. I am grateful to that partner that showed me that two women can be both emotionally and physically attached without having a penis involved. These are just a few of my feelings of my preference of separate rooms. I need to add that doing things with Mr. S2P is terrific as well, he is still my #1 lover and soulmate and would forsake any others to continue my undying love for him. He understands my thinking on this topic and enjoys his time with the partners we decide to play with. Are we the exceptions to the swinging rule that we should be doing things together and watching your partner is important to swinging?

We occasionally check our profile we have posted to see if we were contacted or if there are any others that we find interesting. I caught Mrs. MLF (midlifefun) scrolling while I was watching sports on TV when she asked what I thought about a profile, I laughed as the profile was of a couple half our age and thought why would they want us. Their profile stated interested in others 25-55. I thought it was weird, why would someone half our age want to meet, something wasn’t right. The Mrs said she would contact them, I said it was a scam. We know there are plenty of posters that are just looking for online sex chats and I said that should be careful, send no other pictures, give no personal info. She received a reply about a week later from the wife. Doubting it was a woman answering I suggested a real call to confirm. An hour later they spoke, it was a female. The big question I wanted answered why would they want us, we could be their parents. We were told they liked our pictures and profile, they had been with older before, still younger than us, and enjoyed the experience. She is an RN, the husband is a new attorney, they married two years ago. I’m still skeptical.

You did hit the jackpot, you have a wonderful, understanding, generous husband.

Almost everyone is wired to be non-monogamous. The difference is that LSers acknowledge it and reject social constructs. When done lovingly and properly, a person acknowledges our true human nature and tells their spouse or partner to go ahead, have sex with someone else who you are attracted to. It will make me happy.

All the couples we play with are fully bi and feel that more people are bi than you think if they were honest with themselves really

Young men hardly ever refuse any woman who is willing regardless of age or looks. Younger ladies normally don’t look for older men unless there is an underlying reason such as a boyfriend or husband pushing them. I’m not saying 45-50 year old women with 60 yo men, I find 20-30 yo women with 50-60+ yo men. Older women, call me Cougar, sometimes search out those younger men who are willing. It is smart that the wives are talking. Make sure the young lady isn’t being coerced to join you as excited as you are it just wrong if she isn’t 100% willing and wanting.

We had some similar things happen like that with us. I played with my husband for a long time in RP with our inventory of playthings thinking, I wonder what it'd be like if we tried it with real people? Over time introducing more and more ideas to each others we had a discussion about it deciding to venture out and see what the lifestyle is like. Scared the jeeperz out of us at first but also equally turned us on. It took a while longer but we eventually became acclimated to being around others having sex, building friendships, trust, and finally started having sex in the same room as others. Then I had my first friend, then another, and another. It took me three times and I was all in! My fourth and fifth I became wilder. Scared my husband. He settled down but only had sex with me in between me having sex with others. As time went by he and the other men in pairs would love on me together. I thought I'd hit the jackpot. Then got to know three bicouples, a whole other level of scared the begeebees out of us and yet somehow attracted us to them. They were so real, so care free, the sex flowed, no hindrances, Wow! The combination of their personalities, lifestyle, and sex won us over. When they finally went all out same gender I thought my husband was going to get up and leave he was sweating so bad and his eyes were so wide I thought they'd pop. I was the first to dive in (yes he was okay with it - all same room). A husband here, another there, then my husband and another husband. Again with winning the jackpot! I was so into the next few months it was most of what I talked about. Husband was overwhelmed but never said stop so we would meet once a week as a group for a few hours. The wives asked when they were going to get to be with him. I let them know he was on his own time table. Skipping way ahead to the next Freak Out - Mine. The group grew with more wonderful friendships, all bicouples. More went on and one day we were able to break through a fantasy of mine, my husband even enjoyed it. Time went on and something clicked in him, this time he went gungho. Scared me. So even in the incredible friendship, loveship, and comradery, we still have our freak out moments. We always dialed it back, moved forward with restraint, and all works itself out. We never do anything without the other present even if one of us is not participating we stay in the same room. We stop if one of us needs to leave. We never ever are alone separated with anyone, everything is all same room even shower sex. We found our balance, what works for us. When I get overboard, he protects me from myself - Yes I can wear myself raw. I do the same for him, I know his limits when I need to say, "You know how much you've had in the last hour?" Perhaps you two need to dial it back a bit, then proceed cautiously with whatever your guidelines are. Find your balance.

I cannot wait to hear what happens, this has the making of a great story, Hope it works out for you all. And btw we have two younger couples in our group by 20 years. They are the ones who approached us. They are a great deal of fun so you never know...

When my GF was in her 20s she fucked some guys in their 50s she called them DILFs. I don't think it's that weird at all.

Putting our profile on a public forum allows for all types to contact us with a goal not much different from us. The reasons people register can only be answered by the individuals who want similar yet diverse outcomes. Meeting true newbies throws up red flags along with thoughts of thrills of being a first. We are being cautious for many reasons including scams. Why would anyone half our age want us, we wouldn’t seek out those twenty years older and we are more than twenty years older. I am flattered that I am desirable and the dirty old man is excited trying to keep perverted thoughts out of it. How would I feel if my children were attracted to those our age. My Mrs. turns flush thinking how exciting the possibilities can be while I remind her how things can go terribly wrong. I encouraged my wife to get details without coming across as disapproving, find why us, why not someone closer to their own age, how experienced they are. It’s interesting that finding others in the twenties are not easy to find, ones they have contacted according to her were crazies. What was confided was her first experience was her husband’s unmarried friend. They don’t know of any married friends they would approach. They met an older couple who were younger than us that she described as nice time. Her husband has had experience with a literal milf, a friend’s mother when he was in high school. I bet she wasn’t 30 years older like we are. The husband is still athletic, I can imagine that was the attraction in high school as it is to my wife. My thought is if they want why would I look away even if I can’t explain the attraction they see in us. I know my wife is still a piece and can give him a good ride if he is attracted to her. Is it sick to think of it as a Father’s Day gift?

My best friends fuck my GF and I don't regret it in the least. A lot of people say to keep friends out of it though so maybe we're just lucky. Could it create issues with your friendship? Yes. But in our experience the only "friends" that it caused issues with turned out to not be real friends at all.

When we were new to swinging my wife was interested in more mature, experienced couples. The first couple we hooked up with at a club was 10+ years older but that's what my wife wanted. I think some newbie couples feel better with a mature couple bc they think they will go slower, and be more patient teachers than young couples.

What have you got to loose? Let us know what you decided to do and the outcome...

Nothing perverse in meeting those of a different generation for sex. We drew the attention of players twice our age, Honey fucking a man more than twice her age many times most likely Viagra assisted. The older friends give a different experience that is interesting and more grateful. I think you should go with an open mind, remember they aren’t judging you on age.

There is something to be said for maturity. 21 year olds might be hot to look at, stay hard, or have almost zero refractory time but if you talk like you text, and your interests are all about caping and TikTok, it’s not going to matter. Yeah, a broadovergneralized, stereotype but hopefully you get the gist of where I’m headed. If there is a spark, see if it leads anywhere. Seems tough enough to meet people since Covid. Maybe it’s time for everyone to dip their toes outside their comfort zone.

Obviously wise to be careful with personal info, etc., but I don't think it's as uncommon as you're envisioning. A lot of people have preferences that shift quite a bit when it's "just sex" and there's little risk of anybody finding out and it impacting their perception in their circle of friends/family. Mrs. E's first husband was 10ish years older. I'm almost 15 years younger. The couples we've played with were similar in age to her, but she gravitates toward grad students in their 20s for random fun. Now I'm around 40 and it's not at all unusual to get a 20-25 year old off Tinder who wants to suck-and-fuck an older man, or a 50-year-old woman on business with a boyfriend who wants a video of her getting a facial from a younger guy. Don't read too much into this. People have their reasons. If you seem to like each other, enjoy.

This is an interesting statement; it suggests that LSers are intrinsically different. We are less sure; the LS involves (for us at least) much more than 'a hot and sexy experience.' The transition from a vanilla perspective to an LS perspective involves shedding assumptions and expectations about normative behaviors, the feelings/emotions that underlie those behaviors, and the responses by others that follow those behaviors. In the vanilla world, there is a sort of expected reciprocity: "I like you, therefore you should like me.", "I want to be exclusive with you, therefore you should want to be exclusive with me", etc. These sorts of expectations are so strong that we require labels and rituals to deal with them. "I ended up in the 'friend zone'." "S/he's just out of my league." "S/he dumped me." And so on. In the LS world, we see "rejection" as so foundational to life that we celebrate it as a rule, "No means no." The LS makes the point that preference isn't rational, does not require justification, and...this is important...it's never a judgement. Similarly, "yes" is a playdate and not to be perceived as anything more. "Yes" is equally not a judgement about worthiness or importance, any more than agreeing to play tennis with someone might be seen as an endorsement of their skill as a tennis partner or the sense that if you lose a few games to them you are somehow "unworthy". It's play.

In general, I think a little caution might be warranted, but not too much. I’m in my mid-70s and in my two decades of being regularly active in the lifestyle It’s been my observation that a majority of couples/singles prefer to play with folks within a decade younger or five years older than themselves. But there are a lotta people in the lifestyle and you aren’t trying to fuck all of them. Before I took a pandemic break most of the couples and women I played with were 20 years or more younger. There may not be so many of them, but there are a sufficient number who are open to or even actively seeking significantly older partners. Their reasons are their reasons, but I’ve never been asked for remuneration. I have a date for play later this month with a couple 15 years younger I’ve been socializing with for over 18 months. The one partner I’ve played with since becoming active again is 30 years younger and I’ve twice had social dates with an engaged bi couple who are literally both young enough to be my grandchildren. The woman is very beautiful. (So is he!) They play together and separately. I assumed it would become a no-sex lifestyle friendship (I have lots of lifestyle friends I don’t fuck) but she says she’d like to include a sexual dimension. I think they are both at a point in their lives where they want to experience as much as they can. If I’m the beneficiary I won’t complain. (After our first social date I had sufficient information that I could check her out on LinkedIn. She was precisely who she said she was. And I know her industry and her position. It’s a great job and they truly don’t need to be running financial scams on old men…😂) From the other side (and as I’ve posted on this board’s previously) about 10 years ago at a party I played with a couple in their mid-80s, who had been enjoying ENG sex since before it had a name. Why did I join them. It was a spur of the moment decision; I wondered what it would like. It was enjoyable.

If they’re close enough, meet ‘em for drinks and dinner. If you hit off, you’ll get to play with a younger couple. If you don’t hit it off, you’ll still get drinks and dinner. 😉

I agree, most women have many choices while men have to act in a special way to find a woman they would want to be with. The women I played with were business associates that knew me well enough, I didn’t hide the fact I was married, that they said they looked forward to my visits. On the rare occasion that I met someone at a hotel bar who went back to my room I considered myself a true salesman. My wife goes online and has her pick of willing partners. I feel lucky to have a desirable wife that can enjoy herself.

For us there it's not only separate rooms, it's separate places at different times because of scheduling and the need for babysitting.

I don't think this is a "rule", but it's definitely a strong and valid boundary for some couples. When we started playing, we couldn't really imagine playing separately. Everything was same room and those were the plans we always coordinated. Then we had a year pre-pandemic where we had a change in our lifestyle where we were apart intermittently, and opened the door. We're both adults and laid down some ground rules and even though it didn't come up much, we quickly figured out it worked fine. Most of our sessions are still same room, just by the nature of opportunity and who we meet with, but, in all seriousness, I actively enjoy her getting into a mood to experiment with hotwife-type play. Last time she went through with it was July, we were on vacation and somebody hit on her when we were apart for a bit so she could find a bathroom. A few days of sexting later I was perfectly happy to let her set a lunch date while I got some work done and come back and tell me all about it.

My wife could never go back to her short time of being monogamous. I probably could with her; she satisfied all my need during our monogamy. Plus, my ex-wife and I were monogamous during our 20 year marriage. Sex with her was good as well. Good enough that we kept screwing during and after the divorce.

There is no right way or wrong way to enjoy. We don’t always have reason to meet others and each situation can have a result that changes. Some examples are we are with a small group in a house and Michael disappears with my friend into a bedroom. No problem for me as sex in a bed is more comfortable. Or we are with another couple and we all end up in a bed together. At a larger house party we split up and go wherever the right place is. If we are in the same room I will watch Michael having fun if I am not fully engaged myself. I know he enjoys watching me with anyone. There is one thing that will keep Michael in the room with me, when we pick up a man or men. He says it’s for safety but what is he going to do if we meet three younger guys?

Possibly chickened out.

Guess he took the info and ran? But did any of it pan out?

I wish more men would come out to their wives. When I told my wife that I enjoyed penises, she was shocked and wanted to know if I had a man on the side. I told her no but I wanted to share one with her. She is also bi. We had several 3soms with women and we started having them with men. We both prefer the third to be a male. We now have a bicouple who we are exclusive with. We rather new with them and the sex is great in every combination. I am so glad that I came out and so is she.

Congrats! If you're looking for open minded swinger men, I wouldn't go to a gay site. There are plenty of bisexual or curious men on SLS or any of the other sponsors here.