Leaderboard

Thank you, it's quite daunting knowing where to start. She expressed interest in going to some clubs and seeing how we feel when we're there so I think that will be the road we go down. I was thinking a bit further in but I suppose it's impossible to plan things when we're not sure how we will feel. Just have to kind of go with the flow.

My suggestion is to start your experience in the lifestyle whichever way makes your wife feel most comfortable, whether it be with a man, woman or couple, with you there or not. After she has had some fun and is comfortable let her take your hand and have you accompany her on the adventure. To me it does not sound like a good way to start unless this is expressly what she wants to do. There could be too much pressure for her to "perform" up to the men's expectations. Without the opportunity for your wife to eagerly accede to every step of what will likely be a fast moving sexual situation, I could foresee resentment and disaster. Let her control everything.

My experience is limited, but I question that.

Yes, and it's a very good thing. I give a lot of credit to the homosexual community for insisting on coming out and being accepted. Perhaps someday being in the lifestyle will be as normal as traditional arrangements. Having multiple partners before marriage is already considered part of the path toward marriage.

On 6/15/2023 at 7:10 AM, Courteous1970 said: You two certainly have a very evolved and mature relationship based on love, trust, open communication and neither of you feels any insecurities. That’s amazing! However, that’s the ideal situation and we all know that there are a million situations outside of “ideal”. I give credit to my wife, she is the one with the mature attitude. Her maturity and understanding of human nature is the result, I believe, of having simultaneous, multiple relations, including being the "other woman" for a number of marriages that she tried to help, not break up. On 6/15/2023 at 7:10 AM, Courteous1970 said: You sound like you are polyamorous swingers, which is awesome. We now swing in a closed group of married couples. We used to be "open" swingers, looking for new couples as well as going back to ones we previously played with, but came together with other couples that wanted the same things we did - bareback play, which is why we became a closed group doing multiple STD tests, and the confidence to have alone play, including occasionally going off together. I wouldn't call it polyamorous, just confident and not afraid of feelings. On 6/15/2023 at 7:10 AM, Courteous1970 said: My wife is in a polyamorous relationship and has had a BF for 8 years now. He also happens to be one of my oldest and most trusted friends. They love each other. Their relationship makes them happy. Which for me, makes me happy as well. Plus two other things, it makes me proud that someone admires my wife so much, enjoys sex with her so much, loves her so much, yet she chooses me; second, I know that if something were to happen to me she would be well taken care of in every regard, the best insurance. On 6/15/2023 at 7:10 AM, Courteous1970 said: We sometimes play together as a threesome and they also have their own one on one time which I encourage. I trust him and it’s a perfect situation because I know he loves me and would never want to break up our marriage. So I know it can work. But the husband has to have the ultimate confidence in their marriage. There needs to be an understanding that the marriage is THE most important relationship between all three parties. If there is any “threat” to that relationship that is when things can get rough. Agreed. They way I see it, if my wife saw someone as better for her than me, there is nothing that I could do about it. I don't own her. But it works the other way around too. We both strive to keep each other happy, which keeps our marriage strong. Having "tried" other people, including allowing our feelings to run wild, lets us feel confident that we chose the right spouse. And one last thought: even people who are in an outside relationship leave their marriage, it isn't usually only because of the sex.

It's not really a rule, more like a guideline.

Another thing we do is that we put on a live sex show with two or three of us in middle of room to some music and let the others enjoy and relax and enjoy the view and then the gradually take part

Helen here and we both second generation swingers and been in this wonderful lifestyle since our late teens. We have a swing group and enjoy a super non monogamous open relationship that includes all bare back fun and casual sex.

Helen here and we are in an open non monogamous relationship.

Just don't think about getting one of the biggest invoices you've ever had.

In general, I think a little caution might be warranted, but not too much. I’m in my mid-70s and in my two decades of being regularly active in the lifestyle It’s been my observation that a majority of couples/singles prefer to play with folks within a decade younger or five years older than themselves. But there are a lotta people in the lifestyle and you aren’t trying to fuck all of them. Before I took a pandemic break most of the couples and women I played with were 20 years or more younger. There may not be so many of them, but there are a sufficient number who are open to or even actively seeking significantly older partners. Their reasons are their reasons, but I’ve never been asked for remuneration. I have a date for play later this month with a couple 15 years younger I’ve been socializing with for over 18 months. The one partner I’ve played with since becoming active again is 30 years younger and I’ve twice had social dates with an engaged bi couple who are literally both young enough to be my grandchildren. The woman is very beautiful. (So is he!) They play together and separately. I assumed it would become a no-sex lifestyle friendship (I have lots of lifestyle friends I don’t fuck) but she says she’d like to include a sexual dimension. I think they are both at a point in their lives where they want to experience as much as they can. If I’m the beneficiary I won’t complain. (After our first social date I had sufficient information that I could check her out on LinkedIn. She was precisely who she said she was. And I know her industry and her position. It’s a great job and they truly don’t need to be running financial scams on old men…😂) From the other side (and as I’ve posted on this board’s previously) about 10 years ago at a party I played with a couple in their mid-80s, who had been enjoying ENG sex since before it had a name. Why did I join them. It was a spur of the moment decision; I wondered what it would like. It was enjoyable.

I agree! I think we should have the multiple mates. We much more to offer a multitude of men and they have more to offer in a group.

Yes, that is the primary reason to do any of this, to make your spouse happy. That is exactly how my wife feels and reinforces that what we are doing is the right thing. When Daniela has a great sexual experience with someone else, I get the credit for the work he has done. That's why we do what we do, we want the other to have a great experience, better sex even than we have. I look at it like this, if we go to a restaurant and the chef is a better cook than I am, do I get insulted? I'm glad that my wife is getting a great meal, better than I cook. It doesn't make me jealous, it makes me happy.

My guys don't even get jealous when another guy puts his dick in me, or Clair or Lora. When a gyno doctor put that sheet up over my knees to block the view, I ask what was the purpose. He said, "Privacy." I took it down and said he's looking in my cunt, so how does this help privacy? No answer. Plus, it was easier to talk to him without the tent in the way.

My husband is perfectly okay with whatever I want to do and I do oh so love sucking cock. I am a cum addict. I love cum play and love to share it as much as I love to share sucking cock. He has never asked me to suck another man’s cock but he does openly tell me how hot I look doing it especially when the guy takes my head and begins humping my mouth. And when more guys do it back to back, he says he feels as if he will himself explode at any second. Of course I am all about that! I do love that he enjoys my addictions and has opened up to sharing with me. For me it is something I simply love doing adding him to the mix now makes it even more of an addiction – yummmmmm! I love having his face right there with me.

It's very visual, quite easy to see. And, for some men, perhaps it's less threatening. If my wife wants to suck a guy, and she often does, it's fine by me. I like to look at the way she's handling it as it's in her mouth, the look on the guy's face as she's giving him oral sex. If she chooses to let him come in her mouth, it's funny the emotions on his face as he lets go. On the other hand, if she'd rather do other things, that's fine by me as well.

I don't know about other guys, but I like the way it looks. I think a woman sucking a man looks very sexy... and I can't really appreciate it the same way when the man is me, because the sensations of being blown distract from the visual impact. I love watching the show... which works perfectly for me because my wife loves putting on a show.

I was 19 and heard a vague reference to "swingers" at a party. "she is a swinger, so is her cousin". At the time I thought it was horrid. Lol. Who could do that when they are in love?! They must really not be in love. :p At age 25 I found myself single and knew some of my coworkers (who were good friends at the time) were into it. I attended 2 on premise parties with them and was in awe....I only watched, danced, drank those times and didn't want to play. I had a fmf with no real female interaction that summer, with a guy I was seeing off and on, and a friend....and I filed those in the "good stories" memory. Then, nothing for years really until I approached Hubby with the idea of me being with a girl. Now at nearly 32, first experience is just a week behind me. This site has been a huge help as far as my education is concerned. The Mrs.